Confused friend

Why are you friends with someone who wants to take months to answer. Sounds like he doesn't want to be friends.

No, that's not normal at all. Controlling comment has to be from the past and he is holding on to it.

In fact this doesn't make sense. That's not how you treat a real friend.

Honestly, move on. This guy doesn't value or respect you.

But you still try and even made this post. So more is going on here.

How often to do text him?

what do you text him?what are your real feelings for him?

Tell me of the last time you really spent time together and what happened.

I mean you said he's avoided you for years. I think it's clear then he doesn't want to communicate with you. 🤐

True good friends can go months without speaking and pick up right where they left off. The problem here is how he disrespects you for wanting to communicate. That is not a friend.

Start giving your energy to others more worthy. He's not it.

As a girl who just can’t be bothered with texting back….

My real friends and family don’t hear my voicemail or have to double text

People make time for what they want

The last time we saw eachother in person was a year and a half ago on my birthday. He said he wanted to hang out again and then I followed up a few weeks later to see if he wanted to get lunch and that’s when he said he wants to be the one to ask and to let him intiate conversations. The whole time since then if he has texted me he drops the conversation and if I say “hey hows everything” he gets mad and says he feels suffocated and it’s driving him away...? Idk how you drive a friend a way by asking how they are but I agree with what you all are saying that avoiding me for years and acting this way about communication isn’t right I’ve gone no contact already. It’s just been difficult confusing and hurt because we’ve known eachother since we were 14 were 30 now.

Posted by twinkletwinklebish

Posted by LadyNeptune

True good friends can go months without speaking and pick up right where they left off. The problem here is how he disrespects you for wanting to communicate. That is not a friend.

Start giving your energy to others more worthy. He's not it.

This. And if they want to be in your life they will put themselves there or at least be open to you and communication from you. This person sounds like he’s not interested in any kind of relationship with you. Don’t give yourself to people who aren’t interested, it’s a waste of time.

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I've been guilting of holding onto friendships because of the past memories when really it was time to move on. So I feel the op's pain with this when she says "It’s just been difficult confusing and hurt because we’ve known eachother since we were 14 were 30 now."

But its a good lesson to learn and you usually only need to learn it once.

Honestly this gives major running-into-old-hs-friend-at-target vibes"The last time we saw eachother in person was a year and a half ago on my birthday. He said he wanted to hang out again and then I followed up a few weeks later to see if he wanted to get lunch and that’s when he said he wants to be the one to ask and to let him intiate conversations. "

You do the whole, yes lets hang out. For sure! But don't actually make concrete plans because both of you don't really want to hang. Its like small talk for the sake of small talk.

"I followed up a few weeks later to see if he wanted to get lunch and that’s when he said he wants to be the one to ask and to let him intiate conversations. The whole time since then if he has texted me he drops the conversation and if I say “hey hows everything” he gets mad and says he feels suffocated and it’s driving him away...?"

What. An. Ass.

Get RID of him!

Posted by Astrologygirl

The last time we saw eachother in person was a year and a half ago on my birthday. He said he wanted to hang out again and then I followed up a few weeks later to see if he wanted to get lunch and that’s when he said he wants to be the one to ask and to let him intiate conversations. The whole time since then if he has texted me he drops the conversation and if I say “hey hows everything” he gets mad and says he feels suffocated and it’s driving him away...? Idk how you drive a friend a way by asking how they are but I agree with what you all are saying that avoiding me for years and acting this way about communication isn’t right I’ve gone no contact already. It’s just been difficult confusing and hurt because we’ve known eachother since we were 14 were 30 now.

He's upset because you're not taking the hint that he doesn't want to talk but you keep messaging and questioning. If someone gets angry because a person ask them how they're doing it means they feel a certain way about the person asking... and it's not any positive feelings. 🙊

Find friends who want to be your friend instead and stop wasting your time with him. Friendship is mutual. What kinda "friend" is he really if this is how he treats you.

Yea I know that’s not a friend it’s just very confusing why he did such a 180 it’s just very strange but I’ve been silent since we last spoke