Do you... (Page 3)

I thought you and the sister aren't getting along? and if you are why don't you just stop by, do him and sis live together?

we get along as long as things are going the way she wants them to. She was all for me and him going out until she and her boyfriend started having problems. Then all of a sudden she wanted to hang out more and started all this crap about him not wanting me around.
But as long as she has her friend when she wants her and doesn't have to share everything is perfectly okay.

She lives about 70 miles or so away and he doesn't live with her. He lives near me.

when she invited me to thanksgiving she wasn't even thinking about him being there - once she realized it that's when she said she wanted to ask him first.

...finding someone else to ask suggestions from is hardly taking a suggestion. Im talking about a suggestion for decisive action.

regardless, do what you want. I dont think asking someone if they're interested in you is too aggressive unless they arent interested in you and asking the question will make them face the fact that they have to tell you something that might hurt you. I dont think a guy that is really into you would be like "omg, she asked me if I was interested in her, what a turn off!"

that was your suggestion for figuring out what kind of decisive action to take....... first I would need to know what's the best way to approach him. Everyone doesn't react the same way to the same approach.

it's not the question that I think would be a turn off - it's the aggression. That kind of aggression is a turn off to ME.

Someone asking you if you're interested in them would turn you off? May I ask why?

It wouldn't be a turn off if you liked the person. If Cancer called you and said hey I want to be with you how about we hook up and go to dinner and a movie tomorrow. You know you would not say uh uh you're being to agressive I don't like that and hang up. If you wanted to take him up on his offer then you would if you don't you wouldn't. It wouldn't have anything to do with how he came to you with it what would matter is if you were for it or not, which would be the same if you went to him. It doesn't matter how you rely the message his response is going to be the same. Wether he wants you are not. No timing place or situation is going to change that. He knows right now how he feels about you now wether you want to find out now or trying to prolong thinking time is going to help the situation is not the case. Time is going to put him in the arms of another woman or keep him in the arms of his ex which I still feel he already knows how you feel about him but he doesn't feel the same about you thats why he hasn't persued being with you.

Angel,

I'm getting back to this and wow! you guys have been busy since I last logged in.

I'm not a cancer sun/cancer moon male, nor do I play one on tv; however, I am well acquainted with one. I hear your concern about agression and I would agree that course, loud, abrupt or impolite behavior would be a turn off. I think emotional agression would be bad too, like woman out of control of her emotions type of thing. However, you need to know how he feels and you want to communicate how you feel. I think you can be straightforward without being rude, overly dramatic or emotional by just sticking with the facts and being pleasant.

Why don't you ask him to come and give you a hand lifting some boxes or assembling something (or some other idea). If he agrees to come and help you then I'd say that he likes you at least a little bit. But to firm it up, once he is there helping you you could engage in conversation to get a better feel for it while he is helping you out. Again, it can be casual conversation and not pushy because you will have the time to talk since whatever he is helping you with will take some time.

As far as the sister, if you suspect that she is trying to cause trouble then I wouldn't tell her your plan. I'd just mention it after the fact, like "Oh, brother helped me put together my new desk on Wednesday. You'll have to check it out next time you are over."

I like that Scorpio, I say good advice.

Cancer men like to be little helpers. I got mine to come around to a point where the floor was open for ultra honest discussion by first asking his advice on our own situation. I had to deal with the fact that he thought I was asking him for advice on what to do about someone else I was interested in, but his jealousy got him over here so fast we were in the best position to sort it out , face to face. His giving me advice, his jealousy, and his quick arrival said more than some words could have.

I had to answer, on paper even, for the fear was making me want to rush along with him, and I think it would be great for you to check out the fear that is making you drag it out Angel. It helped me look at myself and act more logically rather than fearfully.

Great advice ladies

Hi Angelfish,

I am a Cancer mooner and I had a 8yr friendshi8p with a Cancer Sun/Cancer moon male. He was very very shy and would not make any move in the beginning so if it wasn't for me being aggressive, we'd have gotten nowhere. (I pulled him to me and kissed him before he moved away since I thought it was the last time I'd see him again- this was our first kiss). The only move he did was give me his number when we met but he did it in a indirect way (asking the waiter to send me a drink and then I didn't see him or know who he was until I went to the bathroom. When I returned to my seat, he was sitting in my booth).

He would call me but I had to also initiate contact to give him some security that I was interested. He needed to know how I felt before he told me how he was feeling. He was indirect in his actions and words but his vibes told me everything I needed to know. As a Pisces, you should be able to read him well. We got closer when he went through a bad situation. I let him know I was there for him and if he ever needed someone to talk to, I'm here. I always kept in touch in a casual, friendly but interested way and encouraged him to keep in touch. Because I was consistent and patient with no pressure whatsoever, he eventually came out of his shell and moved very slowly with me(his Venus is in Taurus & overshadowed his Mars Leo). I would do things like send him holiday and b-day cards (he was big on that thing) and send him jokes.

I don't know your entire story (how long you been friends? Is he seeing someone? Did he ever tell you he liked you?) so its kinda hard to give you tailored advice. I am not sure what happened at Thanksgiving why you didn't say hi but try to make up for that by making a friendly phone call. ScorpioChick's advice is good. What is his Rising, Venus & Mars? I will try to look at your older posts to read your background story.

If u want to know how my story ended...well, we were still talking and when I started to withdraw (because I didn't want to have a long distance relationship), he pursued me and told me he loved me. He also told me he wants to move by me and marry me. I didn't want my feelings to grow because after 8 yrs I still felt like I didn't know him well enough. He was reserved & opened up too slow for me. He also had issues with employment & legal matters. I then met the Scorpio so I had a choice to make so I chose the Scorpio. When I told the Cancer, he told me to leave him alone and never speak to him again 😢 I didn't even get a chance to respond because he didn't even want a reply. I think I might send him a xmas card but maybe I won't. I still wonder if I made the right choice.

I just finished reading your story in this thread and so far it sounds like he's interested. He probably doesn't know enough about you to *like* you but you have a good chance. Venus in Gemini likes friendships and lively conversations. I would be more friendly around him and slowly get to know him. If you don't want to call him, try to be in the same place he'll be. Take a group of your girls and hang at his bar for a round of drinks, then leave to go to a different bar. Don't act like it was planned or hover around him. Say hello and then direct your attention to your girlfriends (don't flirt with any guys). If you have the opportunity to chat, definitely take advantage of it and initiate some convo if he isn't too busy. Since he's not in a good situation, just be his friend. Your goal is to develop a friendship for now & gradually get closer so that he can get to know you better. He needs to know what you're about and see it firsthand (& not from his sister). It will take him a long time to move forward so be prepared to be patient like a true Taurus (tell that Aries moon to relax) if he's worth it.

i will say one thing....an aries moon and cancer moon is NOT a great combination.

CJ - don't throw salt - if he doesn't come through maybe you'll get your chance 😛

okay - I like scorpio chicks suggestion - only problem is I don't have any heavy lifting to do or things to put together 😢

capangel - for personal reasons involving social anxiety I don't have any female friends to go hang out with except his sister. The last female I tried to make friends with turned out to be a lesbian with a MAJOR crush on me.... it was very uncomfortable....might explain why I spend so much time on-line....
I think that is the best idea I've heard so far [or at least the most feasible ] the only problem is figuring out how to work that out. On the up side I ran into an old friend a couple days ago and he said he had never been to the elephant bar [the restaurant the cancer bartends at] and wanted to take me to dinner there - which would most likely end up being Friday night since he has two jobs and school - and even though this is a male friend...well lets just say I don't think the cancer would be too concerned about him....
The only place I know for sure he hangs out is this little bar in the next town where they have pool - I like pool...but I don't have anyone to go with me....I had thought of doing that before.

and yes mspisces - a deep fear of rejection is exactly my problem - the guy could skywrite "I love you" and I would still be scared.....

what—....maybe you'll get YOUR chance 😛

too bad there isn't a smiley face that rolls it's eyes

oh and I forgot - I wasn't TRYING to ignore him.... I "froze"...... on thanksgiving that is.

you know it's not easy catching up at the end of the day......

how can u freeze ALL day??lol

Angelfish,

I have social anxiety too so I understand about the friends thing. If you do decide to go out with the male friend to his bar, don't make it look like a date. Make it quite clear that the guy is nothing but a friend. This way it won't give the Cancer any suspicions. Last thing you need is for the Cancer to think you were purposely trying to make him jealous. Its a risky move.

Do you have any relatives around your age that you can hang with?

no no no...... I froze at the point he spoke to me.....making it feel awkward to me to go to him later and try to start a conversation..... I don't know.... I'm just scared... I like him so much I'm scared to death to do the wrong thing.....

"how can u freeze ALL day"
Oh I definitely understand. Hard to explain but when it happens, its hard to snap out of.

unfortunately the ONLY relative I have around is my sister - she's 18 and doesn't have time for her big sister, plus I couldn't take her to that bar anyway

no, I really don't think he would think it was adate. There's really NOTHING with this guy - no chemistry, nothing that would even LOOK like something to worry about

i know.....j/k, i have frozen before. my friend had a pisces friend that i kinda liked and i didnt always talk alot when she was around, and one day...of course after she started going out with someone else, i was in a group and i started to say something and someone cut me off...she spoke up and said..."i wanna here what paul has to say, i like it when he talks" i felt like turning around and banging my head in the wall.lol of course she married the guy she was dating...go figure. and yes my name is paul.

but I like CJ - it's my sisters name 🙂

just kidding - I like Paul

and SEE?/? you guys guys don't always speak up.......

ur right........(u love hearing that don'tcha)lol

yes 🙂

shutty

shutty??

shutty yo mouth??

ha PAUL - you're secret is out !!

ive got more...... 😛

we've got time.......

not tonight though....ha!

eh - I probably know too much already 😉

more than most my dear....but not all by far 🙂

i still wanna know what shutty was for.......

lol the hell is a shutty? Its good to get some cancer sun/cancer moon advice on here, hope that clarified things.

So Paul...how are you tonite. lol I like that name.

lol - your undying love for ME is NOT a secret !

😛

whatchu talkin bout willis?? lol

thanks sf, shhhhh....its a secret...

night all

oh.... I wasn't supposed to say that on the boards was I ?

😛

According to urbandictionary.com shutty means "shut the **** up."

Nice.

Angel,

I hear you about the freezing up. Going back to my cancer sun/moon experience I'd say the best thing to do is next time you see him, come right out and say "I just want you to know that I'm sorry if I seemed standoffish at Thanksgiving. Sometimes I freeze up in social situations. It is no reflection on how much I wanted to talk to you." Then he knows you didn't do it because you were mad, didn't like him, or whatever else he may be thinking. It also lets him know you want to talk to him. There is not much chance of rejection if you are sincere because it is an apology. It doesn't guarantee he will say, "Hey baby come back to my place!" afterwards but it might clear the air so that could happen in the future.

I agree with CJ (Paul 😉 ) about the cancer moon aries moon combination. That sounds harsh, unless they are not in a tight square. But nothing is impossible and certainly having lots of other good aspects will make a big difference.

I don't know this guy at all so take this with a grain of salt but in my experience cancer sun/moon combo is not one to take chances with jealousy. The cancer guy in my experience gets jealous and will assume something is there even if it isn't and even if you think you are making it clear that you are just friends. Trust me, this happened to me and the cancer guy even knew the friend was gay and he still assumed something was going on. He asked me some stuff about it and then he was reassured, but it could turn out to be a touchy subject.

"It doesn't guarantee he will say, "Hey baby come back to my place!" "

Well if you can't tell me how to get THAT response what good are you? 😉

about the moons - yeah I know it's a touch one - BUT his venus is in gemeni and mine is in pisces - so those go well with the moons and my air sign mars [libra] also goes with his venus, as does his earth sign mars [taurus] - so even though that's a touch aspect there are a lot of positives. I mean honestly it would be near impossible not to ahve ANY energizing [I prefer energizing to negative] aspects between two charts.


hmmm...... I know about the jealousy..... but still I really would be hard pressed to think he'd be jealous of this guy..... not saying more than that. But at any rate that's assuming it were even on a friday night anyhow because that's the only night he bartends now since he got a day job.