PLEASE HELP! I'm so confused!

I've met this cancer man on a dating app, we exchanged numbers and got talking. I'm from Singapore and he's in Miami. We eventually moved on to video calls and voice messages but still texting whenever we can.

He wants to get out of the US so he had asked me initially to go to China to live and work together, we had other countries in mind too, he had suggested many possibilities. So he applied for an English teaching position there.Since I am not the sort to just go with someone without even being in a rs, I had told him about it and asked if we would ever be in a rs. He replied that we are already in one, "why else would I ask you to go to China?"

All was fine until his housemate returned from overseas, we still do text and such but he doesn't use terms of endearment or says sweet stuff as often as he used to. Then he started thinking I am insecure, but i haven't said or done anything to prove that and i had explained to him about it so that he understands that I am not insecure (i thought maybe this previous girlfriends were like that so he might be afraid).

Yesterday he had texted me saying that China would be a no-go due to some qualification issue and was having anxiety issues about not being able to get out of the US. I had encouraged and comforted him, told him that I would go where he goes and not to worry he will make it as I know he's a resilient person..Remember that he stopped using terms of endearment recently, now our conversations gets shorter and no video calls, generally he seems to be getting cold.

idk if i'm thinking too much or he's realized he doesn't want a long distance relationship.

This conversation with him shouldn't even exist until the two of you meet face to face. Start there.

Posted by GC01
Maybe he's starting to get cold feet? I mean y'all seam to be getting serious pretty fast.

Hi GC01, I know we took things too quickly which is why I think he's realized i'm not his type. He has gotten so cold that he doesn't initiate texts anymore.

Posted by Crabra
This conversation with him shouldn't even exist until the two of you meet face to face. Start there.

Well it did. But now i'm not sure if we're even gonna meet up anymore. We have just got into an argument over my personal stuff and he's like saying i'm pointing out your situation to you and i don't like it. Now he says he does not like my attitude most of the time. Honestly imo he's just looking for an excuse to get away now. Looking back at our texts and conversations all of them were happy and we were smiling. I have told him that since we're already together and if he thinks we might have a shot at this, to take his time to think and let me know. Not very hopeful on this one.

You just said it. He's looking for excuses and he's already emotionally left the relationship.

Posted by peo
You just said it. He's looking for excuses and he's already emotionally left the relationship.

I don't get it. Why do Cancer men do that? I have been reading up so much about them and I see the same situation everywhere. My best girl friend is a Cancer too but she says that Cancer men and women are very different. I just felt this connection with him, guess it was meant to be just some short happy memory.

Posted by Eddie_Vanjovi

Posted by Crabra
This conversation with him shouldn't even exist until the two of you meet face to face. Start there.

Make an effort to meet each other in person first before making plans for the future together like that. Don't be desperate. Protect yourself.

click to expand

Its gone now anyways. I really don't think he's gonna come back.

How can someone regardless of sun signs can decide to move to another country together with a person they never personally met?! Based on what?

He is definitely backing away for what reason I don't know...

Things it could be

He is scared

He is being a douche

He is seeing someone else

He sees that the relationship wont work and is trying to get you to break up with him

His roommate, family or friends are. Influencing his decision to move forward

Posted by IamAries
How can someone regardless of sun signs can decide to move to another country together with a person they never personally met?! Based on what?

Idk. When he suggested, it sounded ridiculous too but it slowly sinked in that maybe it could happen since I have extended family there. Or maybe he's just really bored so he's playing all theses games with people?

I'm sorry. Seems like he thinks your relationship isn't worth fighting and he has already given up, I believe that. Him not being sweet anymore says a lot, since it's a water sign. Yes I think he won't come back and you have to be strong enough to face that alright.

Posted by Cancan26
He is definitely backing away for what reason I don't know...

Things it could be

He is scared

He is being a douche

He is seeing someone else

He sees that the relationship wont work and is trying to get you to break up with him

His roommate, family or friends are. Influencing his decision to move forward

Yes i think you are right. Those were the reasons I had though about. I really don't see any hope.

Posted by pisceanloves
I'm sorry. Seems like he thinks your relationship isn't worth fighting and he has already given up, I believe that. Him not being sweet anymore says a lot, since it's a water sign. Yes I think he won't come back and you have to be strong enough to face that alright.

Idk I have given him the choice. I am not putting much hope. I guess it was sweet while it lasted. The first indication was his texts, since we have 12 hours difference in timing, i usually get loads of texts while sleeping and each conversation would surely have something sweet from him but then all that stopped.

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by IamAries
How can someone regardless of sun signs can decide to move to another country together with a person they never personally met?! Based on what?

Idk. When he suggested, it sounded ridiculous too but it slowly sinked in that maybe it could happen since I have extended family there. Or maybe he's just really bored so he's playing all theses games with people?

click to expand

I understand it can sound like a romantic idea in the beggining....escaping everything and moving to a new country with the love of your life. But....just no.

Dont make such an important life decision based on online conversations only.

As a lot already said here....meet. Then the rest will come. Or not come.

Good luck!

Posted by IamAries

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by IamAries
How can someone regardless of sun signs can decide to move to another country together with a person they never personally met?! Based on what?

Idk. When he suggested, it sounded ridiculous too but it slowly sinked in that maybe it could happen since I have extended family there. Or maybe he's just really bored so he's playing all theses games with people?

I understand it can sound like a romantic idea in the beggining....escaping everything and moving to a new country with the love of your life. But....just no.

Dont make such an important life decision based on online conversations only.

As a lot already said here....meet. Then the rest will come. Or not come.

Good luck!

click to expand

I doubt we will ever meet now since he's already backing out from the relationship.

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Crabra
This conversation with him shouldn't even exist until the two of you meet face to face. Start there.

Well it did. But now i'm not sure if we're even gonna meet up anymore. We have just got into an argument over my personal stuff and he's like saying i'm pointing out your situation to you and i don't like it. Now he says he does not like my attitude most of the time. Honestly imo he's just looking for an excuse to get away now. Looking back at our texts and conversations all of them were happy and we were smiling. I have told him that since we're already together and if he thinks we might have a shot at this, to take his time to think and let me know. Not very hopeful on this one.

click to expand

Yup, you beat me to it. I was going to mention that he is looking for a way out. End his search, and give it to him. Waste of your time, this one.

When was it an anxiety issue not being able to get out of US to friggim CHINA?

Are you stupid or stupid—

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by peo
You just said it. He's looking for excuses and he's already emotionally left the relationship.

I don't get it. Why do Cancer men do that? I have been reading up so much about them and I see the same situation everywhere. My best girl friend is a Cancer too but she says that Cancer men and women are very different. I just felt this connection with him, guess it was meant to be just some short happy memory.

click to expand

I don't think it's just a cancer thing. It's a guy thing.

The only cancer thing might be that he was too head over heels and committed too quickly, now that things are getting difficult and the rose colored glasses have come off he's already made too many promises.

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Cancan26
He is definitely backing away for what reason I don't know...

Things it could be

He is scared

He is being a douche

He is seeing someone else

He sees that the relationship wont work and is trying to get you to break up with him

His roommate, family or friends are. Influencing his decision to move forward

Yes i think you are right. Those were the reasons I had though about. I really don't see any hope.

click to expand

don't be sad 😢 there is always hope ...cancer change all the time ..it might just be a rough patch talk to him openly about it 🙂

Posted by Crabra

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Crabra
This conversation with him shouldn't even exist until the two of you meet face to face. Start there.

Well it did. But now i'm not sure if we're even gonna meet up anymore. We have just got into an argument over my personal stuff and he's like saying i'm pointing out your situation to you and i don't like it. Now he says he does not like my attitude most of the time. Honestly imo he's just looking for an excuse to get away now. Looking back at our texts and conversations all of them were happy and we were smiling. I have told him that since we're already together and if he thinks we might have a shot at this, to take his time to think and let me know. Not very hopeful on this one.

Yup, you beat me to it. I was going to mention that he is looking for a way out. End his search, and give it to him. Waste of your time, this one.

click to expand

I think i just gave it to him, he didn't reply anymore. 😢

Posted by Gemitati
When was it an anxiety issue not being able to get out of US to friggim CHINA?

Are you stupid or stupid—

What are you talking about? He was having some anxiety issues at that point, not anxiety about not being able to go to china.

Posted by Cancan26

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Cancan26
He is definitely backing away for what reason I don't know...

Things it could be

He is scared

He is being a douche

He is seeing someone else

He sees that the relationship wont work and is trying to get you to break up with him

His roommate, family or friends are. Influencing his decision to move forward

Yes i think you are right. Those were the reasons I had though about. I really don't see any hope.

don't be sad 😢 there is always hope ...cancer change all the time ..it might just be a rough patch talk to him openly about it 🙂

click to expand

Lets see about that. If he even replies to my texts. I really do like this guy but it seems difficult to understand him or what he wants. 😢

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Gemitati
When was it an anxiety issue not being able to get out of US to friggim CHINA?

Are you stupid or stupid—

What are you talking about? He was having some anxiety issues at that point, not anxiety about not being able to go to china.

click to expand

One

More

Time!

WHO leaves US for China unless he wanted to sell your organs?

Posted by Skye
"All was fine until his housemate returned from overseas..."

... and knocked some sense into his head. 🙂

Idk, might not even be that case. Im so messed up right now.

Posted by peo

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by peo
You just said it. He's looking for excuses and he's already emotionally left the relationship.

I don't get it. Why do Cancer men do that? I have been reading up so much about them and I see the same situation everywhere. My best girl friend is a Cancer too but she says that Cancer men and women are very different. I just felt this connection with him, guess it was meant to be just some short happy memory.

I don't think it's just a cancer thing. It's a guy thing.

The only cancer thing might be that he was too head over heels and committed too quickly, now that things are getting difficult and the rose colored glasses have come off he's already made too many promises.

click to expand

I think you are right. Too head over heels and committed too quickly.

Posted by infires
i feel as if he might be using you

he put more emphasis on getting out of u.s then being with you..that's number 1 hint. also suddenly he grew cold, when he realized he won't be getting out..number 2. number 3...no one gets that serious too fast, so there's the underlying intention

Well he did say a couple of times he wants to be with me, wish he was here with me, wish i was there with him etc etc. I dont think he's using me? I feel that he may have gotten in too fast too serious and he's realized it now. Or he may have met someone else so the attention goes to her.

Posted by infires

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by infires
i feel as if he might be using you

he put more emphasis on getting out of u.s then being with you..that's number 1 hint. also suddenly he grew cold, when he realized he won't be getting out..number 2. number 3...no one gets that serious too fast, so there's the underlying intention

Well he did say a couple of times he wants to be with me, wish he was here with me, wish i was there with him etc etc. I dont think he's using me? I feel that he may have gotten in too fast too serious and he's realized it now. Or he may have met someone else so the attention goes to her.

there's no way to know for sure..but it's kind of weird how he just stopped communicating as much after he couldn't come to china.

click to expand

Yes that's why i'm so confused!! If you read my replies to other comments, we had an argument last night and he said he doesn't like my situation, he didn't like my attitude most of the time and i'm like what—? He did not even explain himself. Anyway he's still not initiating a breakup.

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Crabra

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Crabra
This conversation with him shouldn't even exist until the two of you meet face to face. Start there.

Well it did. But now i'm not sure if we're even gonna meet up anymore. We have just got into an argument over my personal stuff and he's like saying i'm pointing out your situation to you and i don't like it. Now he says he does not like my attitude most of the time. Honestly imo he's just looking for an excuse to get away now. Looking back at our texts and conversations all of them were happy and we were smiling. I have told him that since we're already together and if he thinks we might have a shot at this, to take his time to think and let me know. Not very hopeful on this one.

Yup, you beat me to it. I was going to mention that he is looking for a way out. End his search, and give it to him. Waste of your time, this one.

I think i just gave it to him, he didn't reply anymore. 😢

click to expand

It's for the best that he doesn't. Next step is to delete numbers, email addys, and any other forms of contact.

Posted by Crabra

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Crabra

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by Crabra
This conversation with him shouldn't even exist until the two of you meet face to face. Start there.

Well it did. But now i'm not sure if we're even gonna meet up anymore. We have just got into an argument over my personal stuff and he's like saying i'm pointing out your situation to you and i don't like it. Now he says he does not like my attitude most of the time. Honestly imo he's just looking for an excuse to get away now. Looking back at our texts and conversations all of them were happy and we were smiling. I have told him that since we're already together and if he thinks we might have a shot at this, to take his time to think and let me know. Not very hopeful on this one.

Yup, you beat me to it. I was going to mention that he is looking for a way out. End his search, and give it to him. Waste of your time, this one.

I think i just gave it to him, he didn't reply anymore. 😢

It's for the best that he doesn't. Next step is to delete numbers, email addys, and any other forms of contact.

click to expand

Well, i did all that. I just could not have him on skype and everytime I log in, I see him online I wonder how is he. So I cut all contact deleted all pictures he sent me.

Posted by scorpiogirl01

Posted by infires
i feel as if he might be using you

he put more emphasis on getting out of u.s then being with you..that's number 1 hint. also suddenly he grew cold, when he realized he won't be getting out..number 2. number 3...no one gets that serious too fast, so there's the underlying intention

Well he did say a couple of times he wants to be with me, wish he was here with me, wish i was there with him etc etc. I dont think he's using me? I feel that he may have gotten in too fast too serious and he's realized it now. Or he may have met someone else so the attention goes to her.

click to expand

Hi! Im also from Singapore! I feel that Cancer guys likes to say things like this (clingy n needy stuff) but sadly they also get out of things very quickly. Furthermore you have not meet him much so it's even easier for things to break.

And they do not like to have arguments or quarrels. Any conflicts must be done amicably.

He might not have anyone right now but very soon they will find someone else.