well OMG!

you crab men certainly know a thing or two don't you!!!

respect 😛

Glad things are working out for you 🙂.

Plz do share... 😛

You mean like a thing or sixty four? 😛

i think most of the things were probs illegal 😛

i would share enfant but it would take too long. let's just say it was a looooong night of adventure. i had two hours sleep and felt awesome all day today.

seriously sexy stuff. that man is something else 🙂

PHV: can you believe he made me stand out on the terrace to smoke weed— who doesn't love that smell!!! chemicals only in the boudoir, lol.

Posted by PotHeadVirgo22
Did y'all fuck while yall were high?

hahhahaahhahahahaaaa....ROFL!

we were some of the time. only amil though. it was mostly awesome cos it went from debauched to sensuous and right back to debauched pretty much all night. shame i had stuff to do today otherwise, i'd still be there 😛

i've met my match in this department for sure.

thing is...he said he doesn't know if i like him or if i just like fucking and i'm not sure i know the answer to that.

yeah...all too often. it feels kinda unfair.

yes well there were some places i wasn't prepared to take it, LOL!!

Do you know the rest of his chart? 😉

Sun Cancer 9.28
Moon Scorpio 14.27
Mercury Gemini 25.53
Venus Gemini 23.23
Mars Virgo 15.21
Jupiter Aries 17.09
Saturn Aquarius 22.28 R
Uranus Virgo 2.23
Neptune Scorpio 13.02 R
Pluto Virgo 9.59
Lilith Scorpio 8.04
Asc node Cancer 20.27

me:

Sun Scorpio
Asc Virgo
Moon Libra
Mercury Scorpio
Venus Libra
Mars Leo
Jupiter Taurus
Saturn Aquarius
Uranus Virgo
Neptune Scorpio
Pluto Virgo
Lilith Capricorn
Asc node Gemini

Posted by PotHeadVirgo22

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
yes well there were some places i wasn't prepared to take it, LOL!!

Bwahahahahahah. I could only imagine where that could be😛

click to expand

indeed. i told him that if he was happy to take it up the arse and say it was fun, i might give it a whirl but until that time, it's for one way traffic only. i am NOT 'AVIN' IT!!

i mean why do men ALWAYS say that ALL women love it!! do i orgasm everytime i take a dump? NO I DON'T!!! WTF ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT—!!!

Bahahaha @ feeling will activate your vagina somehow

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s

Posted by PotHeadVirgo22

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
yes well there were some places i wasn't prepared to take it, LOL!!

Bwahahahahahah. I could only imagine where that could be😛

indeed. i told him that if he was happy to take it up the arse and say it was fun, i might give it a whirl but until that time, it's for one way traffic only. i am NOT 'AVIN' IT!!

i mean why do men ALWAYS say that ALL women love it!! do i orgasm everytime i take a dump? NO I DON'T!!! WTF ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT—!!!

click to expand

I will bet anyone anything that this crab will make you at least think about it.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
thing is...he said he doesn't know if i like him or if i just like fucking and i'm not sure i know the answer to that.

If you tell him you like him, your relationship, whichever form it currently is in will take a more concrete form. (Read commitment).

Just say you like spending time with him, hopefully you do like spending time with him outside the bedroom. That should shut him up for a week or so. Then keep adding you would have to say "really like" next week or something whenever he tests the waters again, which is always going to be soon.

This guy is moving fast, wouldn't be surprised if he said he loves you in under a month.

Better sort out your position before this situation gets sticky.

yeah i do like hanging out with him although he is moving fast and sort of knows it. he's already said he 'thinks' he loves me. he doesn't get heavy about it though. i think he knows that i'm not generous with my affections let's say...i'm not the local bike in other words.

I'm not sure if this is CLASSIC cancer man behaviour or not. But i'm relating waaaaaaaaaaaay too much with this guy. I don't see anything worth warning you about in the horizon, nothing that I don't think you can handle.

Just enjoy the ride, I guess.

Best of luck.

Posted by BommyKnocker
I'm not sure if this is CLASSIC cancer man behaviour or not. But i'm relating waaaaaaaaaaaay too much with this guy. I don't see anything worth warning you about in the horizon, nothing that I don't think you can't handle.

Just enjoy the ride, I guess.

Best of luck.

Fixed can handle to can't handle. I don't like correcting my posts but this one really needed it.

well that sounds intriguing. care to share?

I don't think I can share what I would love to share without killing some of the romance in your situation. All I will say is that there is nothing bad and he won't do you wrong.

So just chill and enjoy The Cancerian Experience.

good!! i thought you were implying he was gonna turn nasty on me or something - knowing of your penchant for scorp ladies!!! he's cool. we're enjoying each other 🙂

Posted by seraph

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
thing is...he said he doesn't know if i like him or if i just like fucking and i'm not sure i know the answer to that.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
he's already said he 'thinks' he loves me.

This will not end well.

click to expand

I agree with you that it won't end well but not in the way you think.

Posted by seraph

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
thing is...he said he doesn't know if i like him or if i just like fucking and i'm not sure i know the answer to that.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
he's already said he 'thinks' he loves me.

This will not end well.

click to expand

There is love, and then there is Cancer love.

As a Cancer moon/venus I can tell you that we do tend to idolize the object of our affections and that we do confuse infatuation with love. But hey, who's to say what love is and is suppose to be like? There are plenty of people who love eachother and then fall out of love, even start hating eachother.... does that mean that the love they once shared was not real? Cancer peeps probably love more genuinely in all their simplicity than some people love for a lifetime.

Posted by Purr
"Cancer peeps probably love more genuinely in all their simplicity than some people love for a lifetime."

Yep.

Yep.

Just realised we swim in water, walk the earth, breath air and are delicious with fire. How many signs can say that ?


I don't agree with ican and fuckhead's assessment. I'm not a psychic, but I see this could have a very happy ending. My only concern is when the trust issues creep up from Crab guy, which will only start post commitment. I'm very intrigued to see how will the scorp handle that. But overall, I think its going to be easy for those two (specifically) to get to that zone of pure bliss.

Posted by BommyKnocker

Posted by Purr
"Cancer peeps probably love more genuinely in all their simplicity than some people love for a lifetime."

Yep.

Yep.

Just realised we swim in water, walk the earth, breath air and are delicious with fire. How many signs can say that ?


I don't agree with ican and fuckhead's assessment. I'm not a psychic, but I see this could have a very happy ending. My only concern is when the trust issues creep up from Crab guy, which will only start post commitment. I'm very intrigued to see how will the scorp handle that. But overall, I think its going to be easy for those two (specifically) to get to that zone of pure bliss.

click to expand

now THIS is what concerns me. trust issues. i take it you mean from the cancer? just as i find it difficult to trust, others find it IMPOSSIBLE to trust me. i'm not deliberately shadey or secretive but i definitely come off that way to other people..i'm just tight-lipped i guess. the problem is that we live in a goldfish bowl and if people don't know that much about you they have a tendency to fill in the gaps and then circulate the rumour. i've already told the crab to get ready to be taken to one side and 'warned' about me cos it's what has happened a few times before and i've told him that NOTHING he is told by anyone in the area we live in will actually be true and he has to believe me on that.

i want something i've never had before in a relationship which is open and honest communication. if i'm being secretive with the person i'm with....which isn't secretive in the cheating sense just withholding communication more....then i know i'm not really into them and i don't want my next relationship to be second best in that respect.

we've just been out this morning cos i had some business to sort out and he tagged along. i feel so comfortable with him. like i've known him years. i guess there's no point trying to second guess the future.

Told you there's nothing that I think you can't handle in this situation of yours. You sound like you're handling it pretty well. Its interesting seeing it develop, Cancers love developing a Bonnie & Clyde situation, shattering public and private spheres between the two. It seems you already have that going on, you and him against the village/town, in a way. You definitely have his full attention. Anything you say will be taken as absolute and unquestionable truth. So avoid any grey area/half truths , it will backfire.

Don't worry about the trust thing for now, you can handle it. It will most likely be addressed and settled in the bedroom.

Don't ask.

I agree with Crabmoon. It's just too good of a set up that you have going on.

i have always wanted a clyde to my bonny 🙂

the way i see it is that he's not making a big issue of the 'love' word and he's only said it a couple of times and only in the 'think i am' sense....it's not the same as a full blown proclamation, lol. so all the time he's not forcing the issue, what's the point in my reacting to it.

we were having a drink one day last week and someone asked him if i was his new gf....cos he's even had calls to ask about me people are so nosey here!!.....he told them that we had 'only recently become acquainted'....perfect answer 🙂

he's very bossy and opinionated at times i have to say!!

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
the way i see it is that he's not making a big issue of the 'love' word and he's only said it a couple of times and only in the 'think i am' sense....it's not the same as a full blown proclamation, lol. so all the time he's not forcing the issue, what's the point in my reacting to it.

i think he is being open with you.. when he says "i think".. he means it. maybe just trying to figure out if this is love or infatuation himself cause Cancers can get confused.

so don't be worried he's going to smother you with undying love and devotion just yet. sounds like the pincher is testing his own emotional waters and just letting you hear his process... perhaps?

In general... Cancers are very desirable and don't need to look hard for admirers. you may find yourself being the "hunter" and not the "prey" at some point, hehe

hmmmm....interesting insights from mr crab tonight. he said again that he thinks he loves me but added that he thinks i love him too (fuck that sounds like teenagers, lol). we were only kinda joking around but he said i would without doubt fall for him and at some point i would also without doubt, openly admit it.

then he said...when you do fall for me, don't think you can try and control me will you. i didn't use a question mark cos he said it like a statement. he went on to say that he does what he likes when he likes and if i'm cool with that, good but he wouldn't be changing if i started nagging at him.

i said that was a great attitude as long as it's reciprocated cos i like to do what i like when i like too. we agreed that it is good to offer the opportunity for the other to join us but in the event they didn't want to....we would just do what we wanted to do.

perfecto!!

i actually think he's gonna end up hurting me. my friend said it could be a standard scorpy fear but i dunno.....i'm quite a slow burner with feelings and sometimes i never reach boiling point at all...i think that is gonna be the thing that could possibly make him turn cold on me and definitely the reason why i'm reticent about getting too emotionally invested in him.

he's suggested that he hang out at my house a little more if my daughter is ok 'with us'. he's meeting my 17 year old son tomorrow...not sure how that will go really. i tend to get a bit precious about my kids and that's a pretty big step. it's still only 5 weeks that i've known this man although i've seen him or spoken to him every single day.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
hmmmm....interesting insights from mr crab tonight. he said again that he thinks he loves me but added that he thinks i love him too (fuck that sounds like teenagers, lol). we were only kinda joking around but he said i would without doubt fall for him and at some point i would also without doubt, openly admit it.

then he said...when you do fall for me, don't think you can try and control me will you. i didn't use a question mark cos he said it like a statement. he went on to say that he does what he likes when he likes and if i'm cool with that, good but he wouldn't be changing if i started nagging at him.

called it..

i haven't given him the slightest indication that i want to change or control him...or that i'm the nagging type either and so i was surprised when he said that. there was a touch of arrogance there. he has this 'edge' to him. dangerous. i've also noticed he's quite surrounded by women if i meet him somewhere and yet some of them he's plain rude to which i find embarrassing.

i'm not the jealous type but i don't like him talking about his ex's and just give him a look which he says he likes cos it shows a hint of jealousy. told him not to provoke me with it though cos if it becomes more than a hint of jealousy, he's in trouble, lol.

he texted last night about spending more time at mine where i live with my 13 year old daughter. i didn't respond as he said we would talk about it this morning. he means spending the night at mine and me and my daughter staying with him on occasion too. that's a big step for me. not 'entertained' a man at home since i was married cos i don't think it's the right example to set my daughter...specially as i seem to exclusively date knobheads, lol!

definitely too early in the game for that imo.

oh he's met my daughter several times and they actually get on ok although she's an aries sun/scorp rising and finds him bossy and loud so she gives him the deathstare quite a bit.

it's cos we met when he moved us from our last house...he has a removal company...so him meeting my daughter was under those circumstances and not in the capacity of 'boyfriend'.

today has been quite eye-opening for me as far as he's shown himself to have other sides i'm not comfortable with.

Posted by Purr

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s


then he said...when you do fall for me, don't think you can try and control me will you. i didn't use a question mark cos he said it like a statement. he went on to say that he does what he likes when he likes and if i'm cool with that, good but he wouldn't be changing if i started nagging at him.

I hate to say it, but that sounds like more of a warning than a great attitude, to me. :-/ I have to agree with Claro on this one...creepy.

5 weeks and he already wants to meet your young child? Kind of selfish of him to be so casual about being introduced into her life like that when you're both so unsure about where this is going, IMO. What if she gets attached to him and he splits? 😢

Maybe I'm being too judgmental and/or paranoid, but I'm not liking what I'm hearing about this guy.

click to expand

I think that was a joke that didn't take off, not really attitude. It reminded me of when I once told a girl not to fall in love with my penis, because I won't stand for it.. something like that.. it was funny then for both of us, but it could also easily be interpreted as arrogance/attitude.

Your daughter not liking him is major, MAJOR flag. She is a little young and it could be that she's being protective. Nevertheless, if it was the other way around and his daughter didn't like you.. you would've been ancient pre-Jurassic history by now.

+ This guy is officially moving dangerously fast. You really need to start taking control of this ship if you want to stay on this cruise.

I know what you mean. I think cancer men always have this issue when it comes to kids, we love kids.. and you can always find some website saying how cancer men are in touch with their inner child or something. The issue is that most people if not society in general is very uncomfortable with men and kids being together in any capacity. So a lot of cancer men have a moral/character conflict in that department.

If I had to dangerously speculate on what's going on, I would say he's planning to "woo" the child to "woo" the mother. The problem is that its too soon and its his house. He's not trying to impress her daughter in her comfort zone, he's trying to take everyone out of their comfort zone. And I think that's creepy too.

I think what makes this guy so interesting (and not in a good way) is that he is older, supposedly more mature (than I am), but many of the things he does are immature. I can identify with many of the things that this guy is doing in this relationship because I used to be exactly like him, 8-9 years ago. I never thought someone (who im guessing is around 10-15 years older than me or even 25 years older than when I thought doing these sort of things are right) is still doing these things.

This guy/relationship needs boundary lines, hard red boundary lines. The thing is boundary lines are a form of commitment, R1g is avoiding talking or even thinking about commitment. Until R1g pulls a Scorpio and tells this guy to pin his ass down, he will be crossing boundaries in every which way.

i'm always with my daughter if she sees him and tbh, they get along really well although like i said, my daughter finds him way too bossy and loud. i think she hovers between liking him and not trusting him and she's looking forward to my son meeting him later today and i'm pretty sure she hopes he won't like him.

he's not got any kids himself but he has mentioned that he knows that if he doesn't get on well with the kids and they don't like him, then we're history. said it himself. so i know there's a bit of schmoozing going on. when we go to his to watch tv (we're still waiting for our satellite dish), he spoils her rotten. every single whim she has is catered for. he's like that with me too but with her, it smacks a bit of trying to curry favour.

i doubt very much i will be staying at his or vice versa when my daughter's around. i just don't feel comfortable with it.

i was really upset to have caught the crab out lying to me yesterday. i know he was trying to get me away from the leo who introduced us...think he sensed that i still have 'feelings' for him...and to achieve that he's said some pretty horrible things about the leo which has resulted in me cutting comms with him. obviously that was the aim of the crab but tbh, something i had to do anyway.

irrespective of that, i am reminded of my tendency to believe what people tell me and having now seen that some things he told me weren't true, i am disappointed more in myself than in him. when people know how trusting i am with the things they tell me, they sometimes use that as a way to manipulate me.

Posted by Purr

Yeah, it could've been a harmless joke. Might've been a cross between a joke and a warning, though. We don't know how he said it, so IDK. I still think it's weird that he wants her young daughter and her to spend the night at his house so soon, though. If I were Rig, I'd be paying close attention to the way he interacts with her daughter. I'm not saying he's a pedophile...he might just not be great at setting appropriate boundaries. Still, I think she should be on the lookout for any odd behavior he or her daughter might display, to be on the safe side.

Yes, you are implying that the man might be a paedophile. I am amazed at how the american mind works on these issues...I know paedophilia is a real concern but the proportion of such people to ordinary folks is so miniscule that this kind of fear mongering is utterly unnecessary. Ahhhh....the yanks..

What made you think Purr is American ?

Posted by BommyKnocker
What made you think Purr is American ?

The only nationality I have met and spoken to who obsess so much over paedophilia are the yanks. I didn't mean any disrespect personally to Purr though...just an observation.

one of the reasons i moved from the UK to spain was because there are too many sex offenders living in the community without your knowledge. my son had attended school in england and at least once every term, all the kids would be given letter for parents advising of an intruder or a snooper and basically making us all paranoid....cos the law there won't allow sex offenders living in the community to be identified.

i wanted my kids to grow up where i didn't have to educate them about not talking to strangers and what could happen if they did and consequently, they grew up in the andalucian mountains and enjoyed a thoroughly innocent childhood living in a small spanish community where children and elders are CHERISHED.

i have personal experience of sexual abuse which has definitely made me even more cautious with my own kids. it's hard cos my daughter is beautiful and is blossoming into a woman...she gets looks from all ages and each time, i want to club the man to death if he's over a certain age!!!

it would be inappropriate for me to leave my daughter alone with the crab cos she doesn't know him well enough to feel comfortable with him and vice versa but that's the only reason. i can spot a sleazeball from miles away.

incandescent: it's not just an american thing. as soon as you become a parent, your radar for anything that remotely threatens your kids is sharp as a razor's edge.

Posted by xsyzygyx
There are different rules to dating when children are involved. I think Rig is doing an excellent job so far. I don't think it hurts to be cautious.

IncandescentCancer, men have been hitting on me since I was ten years old. Fortunately I was never abused. A while ago a man who attempted to court my mother behaved in an inappropriate manner towards me and I am an adult.

I honestly hope that this hasn't given you a complex, Rig. Always trust your own judgment and instinct. As I have stated previously, I think you are handling things very well.

thank you 🙂

we live in this weird micro community of british expats in spain. it's a very surreal existence in that people mostly come here to live like they're on permanent vacation that's rudely interrupted with occasional work...mostly of a dubious nature hence it being called 'costa del crime'. the part i live in is called 'little london'. like i say...it's kinda surreal and it's a 'close-knitted' community in the worst way imo...i've only just recently moved here from somewhere quite different.

relationships here are usually nothing more than glorified drinking fuck buddies and most people drift in and out of them seamlessly because they're so shallow.

so when you meet someone half decent, apparently you have to be quick off the mark lol. i think that's why his pace for things is considered the norm and i'm like some kind of puritan cos i follow my own timetable.

he offered me the keys to his apartment last week ffs!!! i just said NO—— like wtf would i want them for—

can't get my head around it but i'm feeling like a bit of an outcast for having such different views to the rest here.

well i caught him out again on the phone. made reference to something he told me and he had no clue what i was talking about. we are gonna have to have a serious talk and take some time out.

claro: i moved 10 years ago when my kids were tiny. for the first 6 years we lived in a remote part and it was fabulous but then i had some health issues and needed to be in a more populated area...closer to hospitals. i lived in another area before moving here which represented a compromise between remote and built up but then i had more health issues earlier this year and with it just being my daughter and myself, i needed to be in a closer knit community so that she could feel more secure.....she freaks out when i'm not well and here, she has a list of contacts living minutes away from us.

i feel like a gypsy!! lol

I didn't mean to come across as insensitive to the issue of children and sex offenders. My apologies to Purr if she felt I was rude. I am just pointing out that the man might simply be trying to be friendly with your family as he likes you very much and would perhaps be like to be part of the whole thing.