Advice on Cap Men

I'm a Scorpio woman. I met a Capricorn man back in February of this year and we've been dating ever since then. Not officially boyfriend and girlfriend, just exclusively seeing each other. We're both 20 by the way. He was very quick to tell me he loved me and even talked about marriage. Anyway, He's always lacked in the communication area, but has always made an effort to text me everyday. Recently that's stopped. We had 3 really bad arguments this past September due to communication because he started ignoring me a lot. Like one day we'd talk the next day nothing then he'd text me like nothing happened. It kept happening frequently. I always tell him that if he doesn't feel strongly about me anymore then he doesn't have to stay, I would understand. He's always assured me that he wanted to still be with me, no matter what. This last week on Friday we had a really good talk, it felt like old times and we were talking about our future again. He also told me that he's been having really negative thoughts and that he started ignoring people because he just doesn't feel like talking to anyone. Not even his friends, which I doubt it's all the time because he goes out with his friends almost everyday. But he was still responding to me after that and talking normally. That stopped again on Sunday. We didn't talk and I checked on him still nothing and then Monday late at night he text me "Babe." I didn't reply until the next day and I told him that I felt he needs to think about what he wants, whether he wants to stay with me or not. I told him this because because of the previous ignoring situations that we've had. It's been 6 days including today that we haven't talked. He's NEVER went this long without talking to me no matter what. Whether we argue or not he always replies. He'll usually at least checks in with me once even if we don't talk all day. As you can imagine, I'm going crazy. I don't understand why he's not replying to my messages and going into hiding. Should I take this as it's over between us? Was this his way of telling me that he did think about it and doesn't want to be with me anymore? I mean I can understand that, but I would rather him tell me that instead of ignoring me. I hate being ignored. I never expected things to end with him this way because we both felt strongly about each other. And I thought he would have the respect to tell me. I just need help understanding what goes through a cap guy's mind when this is happening.

And no I did not want things to end, I'm just not used to being ignored when someone is telling me that they want to be with me. That's why I told him i felt he needed to figure out what he wanted. We've talked about it before and he'd still answer. I'm just confused about why he's not responding to me for this long period of time now.

do you know more about his chart? Moon, venus, mars?

No, I'm not exactly sure on how to calculate that.

astro.com or astrotheme.com

The arguments were basically me telling him that I felt like he didn't care because I don't like being ignored like at all. I can't handle it. I can understand needing space but when there's no communication about it it hurts me because I just feel like why can't you come to me and say that instead of feeling like I won't understand your needs. I don't know if that makes sense but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Thread carefully before you regret losing him. Fighting with him anymore will definitely end in a breakup. Forgive and forget if you want to keep him

A 20 year old male is essentially a kid stuck at 18 years of age in my opinion and you're level of expectations as to how he communicates is high.

The guy tells you he's struggling with negative thoughts and doesn't want to talk and you still push for communication and then you tell him to take time to figure out if he wants to be with you and so he goes away to take some time to figure it out and you're moaning about it.

First off you're not girlfriend and boyfriend so communication is not required daily. I don't necessarily feel he,'s ignoring you. He's treating you like a friend, someone he shares a connection with sexually which doesn't require daily communication. You're treating him like he's your boyfriend and he's treating you like a friend which will create a disconnect between two people.

Some men see a woman's need to constantly connect and talk as drama which is energetically draining for a man.

You pushed him away with your insecure feelings by constantly telling him he could leave if he doesn't feel strongly about you anymore so he left. You actually gave him a reason to avoid communication with you by the nagging for more communication.

He told you that his desire not to talk had nothing to do with you but yet you still managed to make it about you and that's way too much drama for a man.

A man wants to feel good around a woman and not feel drained mentally and emotionally.

I don't know if this is accusrate being that I don't know all of his information. But--- Sun: Capricorn Moon: Gemini Venus: Aquarius Mars: Capricorn

And mine is---Sun: Scorpio Moon: Taurus Venus: Sagittarius Mars: Sagittarius

@tiki33 I understand that. I wasn't trying to push it like I need to talk to him all day everyday just a keep me posted kind of thing. Although he told me that sometimes he does not want to talk, it was not something like well I'm just going to stop talking to you all together. And while I understand that we are not together, I do not feel that he sees me as a friend. In a conversation that we had before, he's told me that we feel like more than friends and it feels like we're together. He just had not made it official yet. I thought I was doing good by checking on him to make sure he was okay. I know he's struggled with depression before so it worries me. And my mistake. It wasn't a constant thing of me telling him that, but he knew that it was always an option. But yes, my expectations are very high. I have tried to accept him for who/what he is but sometimes that controlling side of mine comes out.

Posted by Sincerelyalexus
@tiki33 I understand that. I wasn't trying to push it like I need to talk to him all day everyday just a keep me posted kind of thing. Although he told me that sometimes he does not want to talk, it was not something like well I'm just going to stop talking to you all together. And while I understand that we are not together, I do not feel that he sees me as a friend. In a conversation that we had before, he's told me that we feel like more than friends and it feels like we're together. He just had not made it official yet. I thought I was doing good by checking on him to make sure he was okay. I know he's struggled with depression before so it worries me. And my mistake. It wasn't a constant thing of me telling him that, but he knew that it was always an option. But yes, my expectations are very high. I have tried to accept him for who/what he is but sometimes that controlling side of mine comes out.

I actually understand were your position on the lack of communication, I get it but a 20 year old man will not understand your need to connect this way and will eventually avoid you once he recognize the pressure he's under to do something he doesn't want to do.

If he did not agree to be your boyfriend then ultimately you fall under the sex with benefits FWB category and thus your both going to approach being with one another differently. although it felt like something more he still treated you like an option ie a friend.

Take this timeout to slow down. Get things into it's proper perspective. Get off the needy need for MORE communication and instead accept the pace of the unofficial relationship you're in with him and find something interesting in your life other than focusing on what he's not doing b/c your Score obsessing and hovering is pushing this man out of your life.

Scorpio obsessing and hovering

That's very true and I understand what you mean about my neediness as well. I do need to tone it down a lot. Thank you so much for your advice. I appreciate it.

Let him be for a while but tell him you understand and will wait,dont make the mistake my ex did who is also a scorpio that is too controlling and possessive because that what made me break up with her,she is still in my life and still waiting for me to get back to her and right now it feels like we are having fwb kinda relationship i dont know how to handle her without her giving me the sting of a scorpio so i let it be for now and go with the flow

Nope not going to work the Venus and venus nope.

Okay fixed energy will pick up on alot of cardinal craziness eventually the cold detached and hard working attitude. Doesn't make time for you because he works alot. Is selfish wants his money, and own space. You have to deal with this and be friends first. Build up.

There is something real 'sketchy' about this story.

The Cap has admitted to being in love with you prematurely, even discussed the possibility of marriage, but never mentioned exclusivity in a relationship?

Most young Caps I have encountered are usually wise beyond their years, and have a tendency to grow up fast.

As for the emotional maturity, the emotions are present, but a gradual process before it's expressed without a fear of vulnerability. I believe that is where the emotionally maturity kicks in. When he has reached to the point where he could trust you or confide in you.

He has mostly air placements, not fire or water placements, but quickly confesses an "I love you" with no relationship titles.

In my opinion, either the OP is full of Caca (no offense) or this Cap is full of hogwash.

Let's say it may be attributed to depression, which is unlikely because he is hanging out with this friends almost every day. (The ones he's alleging that he is not reaching out to either). So we can just rule this one out.

I see a commitmentphobe.

Something tells me that he doesn't want the expectations and demands of a relationship, but he's letting you down gently.

He may think you're too much emotional work.

I think cardinal signs are like this that's why I say build up and be friends first. I think cardinal like the challenge and not so fast. They might feel something right away, Scorpio got to slow the roll. Especially with Venus in Gemini and you being Venus in Taurus. It's fun sure but you want anything long term you will have hot and cold tendencies.

I have Venus in Taurus with air placements. I met cardinal sign with Venus in Gemini perhaps before. Just emphasize on this because everyone else is doing a good job with other advice. I have a different view.

No. that is one the reasons he hasn't committed. He believes it would be better to have a job first before being with me. Which I have no problem with, I understand that. But at the same time, I don't want to wait forever.

Posted by Capri-sun
OP where is he at in his life? Is he in school? Established in a career? Living on his own? Supporting himself?

Also, those moon, Venus, etc. may not be that accurate because I don't know the time he was born or the place. I only know his birthday.

@capri-sun I know, I accept him for that I'm just not understanding why he's not talking to me. He's never did this before. Which I am giving him his space now, I'm just really worried about him.

You're worried about him...

Or are you worried about the relationship?

This isolation isn't with everyone else.

Just with you.

Your words....

Posted by Sincerelyalexus
He also told me that he's been having really negative thoughts and that he started ignoring people because he just doesn't feel like talking to anyone. Not even his friends, which I doubt it's all the time because he goes out with his friends almost everyday.

I'm worried about both. I'm just judging from what he would do before which was go hangout with his friends all the time. I don't know if you could just stop hanging out with your friends out of no where, which is why I said that. But I do get your point as well. And it wasn't that I was ignoring him, he just text me while I was sleeping so that's why I replied the next day and he hasn't spoken to me after that. I think he would still contact me, because he always has even after arguments. He's already explained he can handle my attitudes, which I've been trying to tone down anyway. I mean in no way are we perfect, and I know that there will be good and bad times. I do want it to work, and yeah I do get that it may not. Maybe he really doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I just have a hard time accepting that I guess.

Although you were sleeping he probably didn't know that. Your not responding to him felt like pettiness as if you were punishing him, giving him that infamous Scorpio sting.

He most likely decided to not chase you back because he's emotionally exhausted and don't have the energy to deal with his dark thoughts and your moods and emotionally neediness to have more of him.

I don't believe he's completely done. He's just sorting himself out first before reaching out to you. He can't make you happy, he realizes that, he recognize if he's miserable he's going to cause you misery and would rather not do that to you.

I think you guys are right, and at the end of the day I can't really do anything about it. It's out of my control, so I just have to let it be whether it's good or bad. Thank you guys for your words tho. I appreciate it.