detached sex....hate it

As a watersign, i love to give myself to the fullest when in a relationship. I can detach my emotions when necessary ( libra mars) but when i have sex with the one i love it has to be " all of him and all of me" . Merging into another.

When my cap and i weren't in a relationship, we had the best sex EVER together. He gave himself , all of him and his emotions. But when we are in a relationship and lived together. He suppresses himself, like a robot doing " the thing" No emotions, not even a reaction of some kind on his face. He just wants to please me, so that's very sweet, but it lacks something.

When i talked him about it his explanation is " i now have obligations".

I don't understand. What does it have to do with obligations? During sex, i don't think of anything but the two of us. Why can't he?

Any other cap does the same thing?

Posted by Gob_Shite
You're not still with that Tinder-addicted, money-grabbing douchebag, are you?

I left him, than after a while i gave it a second chance. Now i finaly left for good. He doesn't do those things anymore. The second time i left him he deleted all his accouts. But we are too different , he loves me and i love him. But i don't trust him anymore...can't help it. So for my own sanity, i left him. And now for good.

I don't think he isn't made to be iin some sort of relationship. He 's got to many issues regarding intimacy, power ....He wants to be in a relationship and have a family, but its against his nature.

I will try to be friends with him because i don't want to loose him completely out of my live. But for now, no contact.

Where were your Venuses? Caps can be withdrawn, but more often they can be very warm and loving. So it must be something other than his sun sign??

Posted by Season
Where were your Venuses? Caps can be withdrawn, but more often they can be very warm and loving. So it must be something other than his sun sign??

my venus is in leo ( but square moon in scorp, so not the typical leo venus), mars in libra

His venus and mars is in aqua... ( and he's got libra moon. But his moon squares his sun and mercury)

Posted by Capri-sun
It's not about him thinking about the obligations during sex, it's just you 2 lived together and he had responsibilities which killed the fun & spontaneity.

It's not because he's a cap. It's because he's a man.

Someone told men cheat because they DON'T have these "obligations/responsibilities" with the mistress. She isn't asking him to take the trash out, pick up the kids from school, or grab feminine hygiene products from the store.

Yes on the obligation part you mention but he puts way to much pressior on himself....always afraid he won't have money enough for his family. So he works hard. HE is making the obligations on to hisself. And i am not the one spending it, he does. In waves , he earn some money and spends it almost immediately. Sometimes on things that makes him more money, but most of the times on " high standard" things. Things that raises his status. I don't say anything about it. it's his money. But i am a someone who saves up... he can't stand it.

For the record: he doesn't have to pick up the kids, take the trash out or go to the store for me. I do that myself for i can't stand not being able to take care of myself... :-)