SweetestFatale
@SweetestFatale
18 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 7 · Posts: 2275 · Topics: 58
He's Being Insecure, It's Bringing Me Down
Let me add he's fuckin gorgeous. Beautiful black & Puerto Rican man, beautiful dimples with sparkling eyes. And his body..screams "I am a military trained weapon". He's so funny and sweet. His situation isn't ideal but I have 100% faith that it will improve. He's everything I want in a man.
Posted by HareI'm guarded. That's the only thing I can think of. I have a hard time needing others. I don't ask him for much, but I am so affectionate and demonstrative with him. I'm not sneaky or flirty. I'm a homebody. I literally go to work, take care of my son, take care of my house and go grocery shopping. Every blue moon I visit family. He recently had a boys night, he told me before hand and I said it was fine for him to go,have a wonderful time. It doesn't seem like most guys are used to women being so permissive about that. My son's father used to act crazy when I encouraged him to get out and have fun with his friends. Idk
If this is something you've been accused of before, then it's probably time you examine your own behavior.
Posted by HarePosted by SweetestFataleSomewhere along the way, you're either not being transparent enough, more likely, you're not doing enough to create solid boundaries for your male friends.Posted by HareI'm guarded. That's the only thing I can think of. I have a hard time needing others. I don't ask him for much, but I am so affectionate and demonstrative with him. I'm not sneaky or flirty. I'm a homebody. I literally go to work, take care of my son, take care of my house and go grocery shopping. Every blue moon I visit family.
If this is something you've been accused of before, then it's probably time you examine your own behavior.
You might not be aware of it, but considering as you say this has happened before, some of these male friends might be trying to weasel their way in all low key and shady.
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They absolutely arent. They all cut back contacting me knowing I am with someone. Even the one who called, I hadn't talked with him in months, was calling to invite my son to his sons birthday party. My other 2 friends are engaged and very faithful. They've been rooting for me to find someone for a while now.
Posted by SweetestFataleIme the dudes who accused me of cheating out of nowhere, did it to keep me scrambling and keep all the focus on me instead of on their shady actions.
That being said, he has started accusing me of being with other men.
I agree with @Hare . Is he being insecure? probably. He will have to deal with that. But you offered up the information that you have been accused of this in the past. That leads to a couple of conclusions, either; a) you date insecure men and the prior accusers were insecure or, b) your behavior has played apart in you being accused of improper behavior.
Since you can't fix his insecurities, better for you to focus on something you actually can change, your behavior. Maybe you are doing something wrong, maybe you aren't but, on the evidence you provided, an examination of your behavior is warranted. Besides, taking stock of what and how you are doing things will only serve to make you a better person in the long run.
Since you can't fix his insecurities, better for you to focus on something you actually can change, your behavior. Maybe you are doing something wrong, maybe you aren't but, on the evidence you provided, an examination of your behavior is warranted. Besides, taking stock of what and how you are doing things will only serve to make you a better person in the long run.
I already said what my behavior is. I don't do anything. I'm a boring homebody. Maybe the fact that I'm not as clingy or possessive as he would prefer?
Why bring up a male friend at such an intimate time IF you want him to trust you, and IF you've been accused before?
It almost sounds like you've been accused more than once in the past. If you know that can become a thing with guys, why put him in the same position?
If your sons father would act crazy when you'd encourage him to get out, why do the same things with the new guy knowing that it might trigger a reaction because, as you say, maybe "some guys are not use to women being so permissive about it?"
If I've been putting in such horrible positions in the past, and knew certain triggers, I'd be extremely cautious not to repeat the same patterns, but that's just me.
I can tell you now, if he's not comfortable, and we value our comfort, then it's not going to work long-term.
It almost sounds like you've been accused more than once in the past. If you know that can become a thing with guys, why put him in the same position?
If your sons father would act crazy when you'd encourage him to get out, why do the same things with the new guy knowing that it might trigger a reaction because, as you say, maybe "some guys are not use to women being so permissive about it?"
If I've been putting in such horrible positions in the past, and knew certain triggers, I'd be extremely cautious not to repeat the same patterns, but that's just me.
I can tell you now, if he's not comfortable, and we value our comfort, then it's not going to work long-term.
You have a Fire Moon don't you.
Posted by SweetestFataleIs clingy and possessive his preferences? If so, how do you know?
I already said what my behavior is. I don't do anything. I'm a boring homebody. Maybe the fact that I'm not as clingy or possessive as he would prefer?
Posted by lnana04This is by far the dumbest response. The friend CALLED while we were laying in bed. I didn't bring him up.
Why bring up a male friend at such an intimate time IF you want him to trust you, and IF you've been accused before?
It almost sounds like you've been accused more than once in the past. If you know that can become a thing with guys, why put him in the same position?
If your sons father would act crazy when you'd encourage him to get out, why do the same things with the new guy knowing that it might trigger a reaction because, as you say, maybe "some guys are not use to women being so permissive about it?"
If I've been putting in such horrible positions in the past, and knew certain triggers, I'd be extremely cautious not to repeat the same patterns, but that's just me.
I can tell you now, if he's not comfortable, and we value our comfort, then it's not going to work long-term.
How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"? That's NOT normal. I definitely wouldn't expect ALL men to have a problem with a woman who understands hobbies and friends.
What is there for him to be uncomfortable with? I do nothing. Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination.
Posted by DamnataMy Moon is on the same Cusp as his Sun (Sag/Cap) and his Moon is on my sun (Aries/Taurus). Lol so in a way I guess I do.
You have a Fire Moon don't you.
Posted by SweetestFataleYeah, well better get used to this being the life for you cuz if you have a fire moon as a chick...it's accusations galore.Posted by DamnataMy Moon is on the same Cusp as his Sun (Sag/Cap) and his Moon is on my sun (Aries/Taurus). Lol so in a way I guess I do.
You have a Fire Moon don't you.click to expand
I'll subscribe to @LadyNeptune 's experience because when my Cap ex started cheating on me he went overboard in paranoia and jealousy. He made me feel so bad about myself I legit started thinking that I probably put some mixed signals there that hurt him etc. Total blindside because I cared so much about how I was coming across I kept my focus on reinforcing how loyal I am...while he got away with murder.
Not to be projected onto your guy but if nothing in your behavior changed and all of a sudden this kicked in with him...consider this too.
Posted by SweetestFataleThe dumbest response you made sure to respond to. Smart girl.Posted by lnana04This is by far the dumbest response. The friend CALLED while we were laying in bed. I didn't bring him up.
Why bring up a male friend at such an intimate time IF you want him to trust you, and IF you've been accused before?
It almost sounds like you've been accused more than once in the past. If you know that can become a thing with guys, why put him in the same position?
If your sons father would act crazy when you'd encourage him to get out, why do the same things with the new guy knowing that it might trigger a reaction because, as you say, maybe "some guys are not use to women being so permissive about it?"
If I've been putting in such horrible positions in the past, and knew certain triggers, I'd be extremely cautious not to repeat the same patterns, but that's just me.
I can tell you now, if he's not comfortable, and we value our comfort, then it's not going to work long-term.
How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"? That's NOT normal. I definitely wouldn't expect ALL men to have a problem with a woman who understands hobbies and friends.
What is there for him to be uncomfortable with? I do nothing. Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination.
click to expand
You are playing games and it's so obvious. You don't know this...
"How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"?"
But you know this.
"Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination."
You supposedly know what's going on within him, yet playing innocent and dumb when it comes to what you are doing to trigger it. Determined to play innocent yet defensive as heck.
Good luck with this relationship you will need it.
Posted by youngali
It depends on the hours the phone call was made. personally, i'd find it offensive if i'm in bed with my partner and his female friends call during the hours of 11pm - 3am, unless it's an emergency.
but that might be just me... ?
The call came in about 9am.
Posted by lnana04I AM innocent. Someone being open to you going out with your friends is NOT a valid reason to accuse them of cheating on you. PERIOD. Yes it's happened before but for me to think any man SHOULD have a reservation about that ,I believe, doesn't give them enough credit. I have had men say "wow, that's really cool. Some women would have an issue with that." While they are not USED to that response it doesn't trigger delirium....Posted by SweetestFataleThe dumbest response you made sure to respond to. Smart girl.Posted by lnana04This is by far the dumbest response. The friend CALLED while we were laying in bed. I didn't bring him up.
Why bring up a male friend at such an intimate time IF you want him to trust you, and IF you've been accused before?
It almost sounds like you've been accused more than once in the past. If you know that can become a thing with guys, why put him in the same position?
If your sons father would act crazy when you'd encourage him to get out, why do the same things with the new guy knowing that it might trigger a reaction because, as you say, maybe "some guys are not use to women being so permissive about it?"
If I've been putting in such horrible positions in the past, and knew certain triggers, I'd be extremely cautious not to repeat the same patterns, but that's just me.
I can tell you now, if he's not comfortable, and we value our comfort, then it's not going to work long-term.
How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"? That's NOT normal. I definitely wouldn't expect ALL men to have a problem with a woman who understands hobbies and friends.
What is there for him to be uncomfortable with? I do nothing. Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination.
You are playing games and it's so obvious. You don't know this...
"How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"?"
But you know this.
"Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination."
You supposedly know what's going on within him, yet playing innocent and dumb when it comes to what you are doing to trigger it. Determined to play innocent yet defensive as heck.
Good luck with this relationship you will need it.
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Posted by Capri-sunYes but only because it was an unsaved number. I had no idea who it was when I decided to answer my phone. It happened to be my friend letting me know my son is invited to his sons birthday party.
Did you answer when he called?
Posted by SweetestFataleI didn't say it was a valid reason for him to accuse you of cheating. My point is...if your ex would act crazy when you'd tell him to go and have fun with his friends, and if you've been accused of cheating before, then be cautious of your patterns before you wake up having the exact same relationship with this guy as you've had with your exes, with the common denominator being you.Posted by lnana04I AM innocent. Someone being open to you going out with your friends is NOT a valid reason to accuse them of cheating on you. PERIOD. Yes it's happened before but for me to think any man SHOULD have a reservation about that ,I believe, doesn't give them enough credit. I have had men say "wow, that's really cool. Some women would have an issue with that." While they are not USED to that response it doesn't trigger delirium....Posted by SweetestFataleThe dumbest response you made sure to respond to. Smart girl.Posted by lnana04This is by far the dumbest response. The friend CALLED while we were laying in bed. I didn't bring him up.
Why bring up a male friend at such an intimate time IF you want him to trust you, and IF you've been accused before?
It almost sounds like you've been accused more than once in the past. If you know that can become a thing with guys, why put him in the same position?
If your sons father would act crazy when you'd encourage him to get out, why do the same things with the new guy knowing that it might trigger a reaction because, as you say, maybe "some guys are not use to women being so permissive about it?"
If I've been putting in such horrible positions in the past, and knew certain triggers, I'd be extremely cautious not to repeat the same patterns, but that's just me.
I can tell you now, if he's not comfortable, and we value our comfort, then it's not going to work long-term.
How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"? That's NOT normal. I definitely wouldn't expect ALL men to have a problem with a woman who understands hobbies and friends.
What is there for him to be uncomfortable with? I do nothing. Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination.
You are playing games and it's so obvious. You don't know this...
"How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"?"
But you know this.
"Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination."
You supposedly know what's going on within him, yet playing innocent and dumb when it comes to what you are doing to trigger it. Determined to play innocent yet defensive as heck.
Good luck with this relationship you will need it.
click to expand
Also, this is interesting as I reread, especially as you seem to settle on this possibly being his reason for his insecurity.
"He recently had a boys night, he told me before hand and I said it was fine for him to go,have a wonderful time. It doesn't seem like most guys are used to women being so permissive about that."
It doesn't seem he asked your permission, so why did you give it?
"I have had men say "wow, that's really cool. Some women would have an issue with that." While they are not USED to that response it doesn't trigger delirium...."
Like, is this your shtick? To act nonchalant when it comes to a guy and what he's doing, to the point where it's a topic of conversation and with guys thinking its cool and you are not like other women?
I'm just asking. It seems you are settling on this being the reason for the insecurity, when I probably thought it was more so about the male friend being talked about in bed. Whatever. I'd say you know whats going on, or what could be going on, so fix it.
Posted by lnana04He did ask my permission. He said "Im going to my brothers for a game night in a little. Is that ok?"Posted by SweetestFataleI didn't say it was a valid reason for him to accuse you of cheating. My point is...if your ex would act crazy when you'd tell him to go and have fun with his friends, and if you've been accused of cheating before, then be cautious of your patterns before you wake up having the exact same relationship with this guy as you've had with your exes, with the common denominator being you.Posted by lnana04I AM innocent. Someone being open to you going out with your friends is NOT a valid reason to accuse them of cheating on you. PERIOD. Yes it's happened before but for me to think any man SHOULD have a reservation about that ,I believe, doesn't give them enough credit. I have had men say "wow, that's really cool. Some women would have an issue with that." While they are not USED to that response it doesn't trigger delirium....Posted by SweetestFataleThe dumbest response you made sure to respond to. Smart girl.Posted by lnana04This is by far the dumbest response. The friend CALLED while we were laying in bed. I didn't bring him up.
Why bring up a male friend at such an intimate time IF you want him to trust you, and IF you've been accused before?
It almost sounds like you've been accused more than once in the past. If you know that can become a thing with guys, why put him in the same position?
If your sons father would act crazy when you'd encourage him to get out, why do the same things with the new guy knowing that it might trigger a reaction because, as you say, maybe "some guys are not use to women being so permissive about it?"
If I've been putting in such horrible positions in the past, and knew certain triggers, I'd be extremely cautious not to repeat the same patterns, but that's just me.
I can tell you now, if he's not comfortable, and we value our comfort, then it's not going to work long-term.
How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"? That's NOT normal. I definitely wouldn't expect ALL men to have a problem with a woman who understands hobbies and friends.
What is there for him to be uncomfortable with? I do nothing. Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination.
You are playing games and it's so obvious. You don't know this...
"How would I know that a man would have a problem with a woman saying "go have fun drinking and playing video games with your friends"?"
But you know this.
"Lol sorry my inactivity drives his imagination."
You supposedly know what's going on within him, yet playing innocent and dumb when it comes to what you are doing to trigger it. Determined to play innocent yet defensive as heck.
Good luck with this relationship you will need it.
Also, this is interesting as I reread, especially as you seem to settle on this possibly being his reason for his insecurity.
"He recently had a boys night, he told me before hand and I said it was fine for him to go,have a wonderful time. It doesn't seem like most guys are used to women being so permissive about that."
It doesn't seem he asked your permission, so why did you give it?
"I have had men say "wow, that's really cool. Some women would have an issue with that." While they are not USED to that response it doesn't trigger delirium...."
Like, is this your shtick? To act nonchalant when it comes to a guy and what he's doing, to the point where it's a topic of conversation and with guys thinking its cool and you are not like other women?
I'm just asking. It seems you are settling on this being the reason for the insecurity, when I probably thought it was more so about the male friend being talked about in bed. Whatever. I'd say you know whats going on, or what could be going on, so fix it.
click to expand
The friend calling was last weekend. The guys night was Wednesday. I had seen him betweenthe 2 and everything seemed fine.
Posted by TerramineLightvoidHe's a Capricorn,from what I've read they're normally insecure.Posted by LadyNeptune
Ime the dudes who accused me of cheating out of nowhere, did it to keep me scrambling and keep all the focus on me instead of on their shady actions.
I think this would be especially true if the guy was fairly confident otherwise. As in. It's obvious they don't have any insecurity, so the odds go up that it's guilt instead.
If it's insecurity then I mean. It's easily possible they just have been hurt before. Maybe even a lot.click to expand
Posted by TerramineLightvoidSo what. I refuse to pay for the sins of those who came before mePosted by LadyNeptune
Ime the dudes who accused me of cheating out of nowhere, did it to keep me scrambling and keep all the focus on me instead of on their shady actions.
I think this would be especially true if the guy was fairly confident otherwise. As in. It's obvious they don't have any insecurity, so the odds go up that it's guilt instead.
If it's insecurity then I mean. It's easily possible they just have been hurt before. Maybe even a lot.click to expand
Lol you typed a lot and said nothing
Posted by TerramineLightvoidlol lies. You cared an awfully lot when people accused you of having a pencil dick. Where was you idgaf attitude then?
@SweetestFatale
"I HATE being accused of something I have not done."
This is immature. Seriously WHO GIVES A FLIPPING FUCK? Why are there so many people, particularly women, who give so much of a fuck that they are being accused of something. Me? GO AHEAD. Accused me of whatever you want. It isn't going to bother me because either it is true or it isn't. It's so fucking simple.
Same for trust. Who cares whether or not someone trusts you? I trust NOBODY. NOT A SINGLE DAMN SOUL. Do you think I care whether anyone trusts /me/? Derp. Just explain to me the rationality behind this. What room do you have to be offended about someone else's trust or lack thereof. What room do you have to be offended by someone's suspicions of you?
You aren't ENTITLED to trust. Stop bein a whiny baby. Seriously.
Anyways OP. If you seriously aren't cheating, then all I can say is that you need to do more to show him that you care. Here's what I'm seeing:
"He's everything I want in a man."
"I have a hard time needing others."
You don't love him.
Love isn't "Oh how you perfectly fit all of my desires". Love IS needing someone. Not out of co-dependence so much as out of the fact that because you love them, you can't live without them. In fact love is completely contradictory to what you are saying. Love is wanting a person no matter their qualities. No matter how ugly they are, no matter how boring and lame they are, no matter how much they are FLAWED.
What I'm seeing is. That you don't deserve this man. That's why this issue is popping up. This is your cue on part of God/The Cosmos. He's tellin you. That if you can't figure out what REAL love is. Then you're going to lose him. As simple as that.
Posted by TerramineLightvoidGood post!
@SweetestFatale
"I HATE being accused of something I have not done."
This is immature. Seriously WHO GIVES A FLIPPING FUCK? Why are there so many people, particularly women, who give so much of a fuck that they are being accused of something. Me? GO AHEAD. Accuse me of whatever you want. It isn't going to bother me because either it is true or it isn't. It's so fucking simple.
Same for trust. Who cares whether or not someone trusts you? I trust NOBODY. NOT A SINGLE DAMN SOUL. Do you think I care whether anyone trusts /me/? Derp. Just explain to me the rationality behind this. What room do you have to be offended about someone else's trust or lack thereof. What room do you have to be offended by someone's suspicions of you?
You aren't ENTITLED to trust. Stop bein a whiny baby. Seriously.
Anyways OP. If you seriously aren't cheating, then all I can say is that you need to do more to show him that you care. Here's what I'm seeing:
"He's everything I want in a man."
"I have a hard time needing others."
You don't love him.
Love isn't "Oh how you perfectly fit all of my desires". Love IS needing someone. Not out of co-dependence so much as out of the fact that because you love them, you can't live without them. In fact love is completely contradictory to what you are saying. Love is wanting a person no matter their qualities. No matter how ugly they are, no matter how boring and lame they are, no matter how much they are FLAWED.
What I'm seeing is. That you don't deserve this man. That's why this issue is popping up. This is your cue on part of God/The Cosmos. He's tellin you. That if you can't figure out what REAL love is. Then you're going to lose him. As simple as that.
Posted by lnana04This is a horrible post. General public no one should care but someone you're in a relationship accusing you of something to the point of withholding affection isn't "I don't care".Posted by TerramineLightvoidGood post!
@SweetestFatale
"I HATE being accused of something I have not done."
This is immature. Seriously WHO GIVES A FLIPPING FUCK? Why are there so many people, particularly women, who give so much of a fuck that they are being accused of something. Me? GO AHEAD. Accuse me of whatever you want. It isn't going to bother me because either it is true or it isn't. It's so fucking simple.
Same for trust. Who cares whether or not someone trusts you? I trust NOBODY. NOT A SINGLE DAMN SOUL. Do you think I care whether anyone trusts /me/? Derp. Just explain to me the rationality behind this. What room do you have to be offended about someone else's trust or lack thereof. What room do you have to be offended by someone's suspicions of you?
You aren't ENTITLED to trust. Stop bein a whiny baby. Seriously.
Anyways OP. If you seriously aren't cheating, then all I can say is that you need to do more to show him that you care. Here's what I'm seeing:
"He's everything I want in a man."
"I have a hard time needing others."
You don't love him.
Love isn't "Oh how you perfectly fit all of my desires". Love IS needing someone. Not out of co-dependence so much as out of the fact that because you love them, you can't live without them. In fact love is completely contradictory to what you are saying. Love is wanting a person no matter their qualities. No matter how ugly they are, no matter how boring and lame they are, no matter how much they are FLAWED.
What I'm seeing is. That you don't deserve this man. That's why this issue is popping up. This is your cue on part of God/The Cosmos. He's tellin you. That if you can't figure out what REAL love is. Then you're going to lose him. As simple as that.
click to expand
Perhaps if I act like I don't care he would realize Im not cheating. (How stupid is that....)
Maybe I don't deserve him because I'd sure as hell prefer someone who didn't question my moral compass.
Posted by SweetestFataleAlthough you keep attracting these types, move on to what you prefer.Posted by lnana04This is a horrible post. General public no one should care but someone you're in a relationship accusing you of something to the point of withholding affection isn't "I don't care".Posted by TerramineLightvoidGood post!
@SweetestFatale
"I HATE being accused of something I have not done."
This is immature. Seriously WHO GIVES A FLIPPING FUCK? Why are there so many people, particularly women, who give so much of a fuck that they are being accused of something. Me? GO AHEAD. Accuse me of whatever you want. It isn't going to bother me because either it is true or it isn't. It's so fucking simple.
Same for trust. Who cares whether or not someone trusts you? I trust NOBODY. NOT A SINGLE DAMN SOUL. Do you think I care whether anyone trusts /me/? Derp. Just explain to me the rationality behind this. What room do you have to be offended about someone else's trust or lack thereof. What room do you have to be offended by someone's suspicions of you?
You aren't ENTITLED to trust. Stop bein a whiny baby. Seriously.
Anyways OP. If you seriously aren't cheating, then all I can say is that you need to do more to show him that you care. Here's what I'm seeing:
"He's everything I want in a man."
"I have a hard time needing others."
You don't love him.
Love isn't "Oh how you perfectly fit all of my desires". Love IS needing someone. Not out of co-dependence so much as out of the fact that because you love them, you can't live without them. In fact love is completely contradictory to what you are saying. Love is wanting a person no matter their qualities. No matter how ugly they are, no matter how boring and lame they are, no matter how much they are FLAWED.
What I'm seeing is. That you don't deserve this man. That's why this issue is popping up. This is your cue on part of God/The Cosmos. He's tellin you. That if you can't figure out what REAL love is. Then you're going to lose him. As simple as that.
Perhaps if I act like I don't care he would realize Im not cheating. (How stupid is that....)
Maybe I don't deserve him because I'd sure as hell prefer someone who didn't question my moral compass.
click to expand
Posted by TerramineLightvoidIf your not ready to put your trust in the person you choose to get into a relationship with than your not ready to be in a relationship period.Posted by LadyNeptune
So what. I refuse to pay for the sins of those who came before me
So what. They refuse to be gullible? Oh wait yeah. That's all it is. In a world where 99% of all people don't know what love is and aren't actually capable of it. In a world where the majority says polygamy, promiscuity, and even cheating is brought on by how humans are naturally wired.
Embracing the animal aspect of humanity as Chief. That's the Beast the Bible talks about. Man acting like Beast. We aren't beasts, we are MEN. Consciousness usurps all. But people are too stupid to grasp this. Too unconscious. Too mindless.
There is a mountain of evidence that says odds are, anyone and everyone isn't trustworthy. From here you have to PROVE yourself an exception. Period. You have to prove your love. End of story.
The best I can give you is that insecurity is insecurity. So these men could at least learn to execute things more rationally. Such as not getting involved with relationships in the first place unless they know this person seriously is willing to do what it takes.click to expand
Posted by TerramineLightvoidExactly, rationale. Or maybe work on yourself to the point where you have faith people CAN be trustworthy if you're going to choose to deal with one.Posted by LadyNeptune
So what. I refuse to pay for the sins of those who came before me
So what. They refuse to be gullible? Oh wait yeah. That's all it is. In a world where 99% of all people don't know what love is and aren't actually capable of it. In a world where the majority says polygamy, promiscuity, and even cheating is brought on by how humans are naturally wired.
Embracing the animal aspect of humanity as Chief. That's the Beast the Bible talks about. Man acting like Beast. We aren't beasts, we are MEN. Consciousness usurps all. But people are too stupid to grasp this. Too unconscious. Too mindless.
There is a mountain of evidence that says odds are, anyone and everyone isn't trustworthy. From here you have to PROVE yourself an exception. Period. You have to prove your love. End of story.
The best I can give you is that insecurity is insecurity. So these men could at least learn to execute things more rationally. Such as not getting involved with relationships in the first place unless they know this person seriously is willing to do what it takes.click to expand
Posted by TerramineLightvoidWhat the hell are you talking about? So there are evil people. If you don't believe there is someone who isn't evil why deal with people at all? It's arrogant for someone to prove to you they are worthy of the attention you CHOOSE to give them. You can't prove you aren't cheating, you can prove you're trustworthy by being consistently honest, reliable and dependable. I stated his attractiveness and good personality to say I don't feel he has any reason to be insecure. Not as the reasons I love him.
@SweetestFatale
"I'd sure as hell prefer someone who didn't question my moral compass."
Arrogance at it's finest. Who are you to assume that you are in the moral right ever in any given situation? You wanna know who else does that?
-Hitler
-A lady that murdered her children
-Christians during the crusades
-Christians during the witch hunts
-The US during slavery of the blacks
The list continues, they all thought their moral compass was spot the fuck on. You aren't God, ou aren't perfect. You WILL Sin, you WILL do wrong eventually. In fact you're doing things wrong right now that are beyond human comprehension. In the same way people in the past had no idea all the things they were doing that we now know are wrong. So what the fuck are you talkin about?
Anyone who presumes they are righteous. Is a case in point example of someone who is unrighteous. The closest we can even fathom getting to be truly righteous, is to remain eternal STUDENTS of morality. To never ASSUME we are right. To ALWAYS question ourselves as well others.
What's worse is. You literally just said that. You literally just said you would prefer someone who isn't like this guy. So again, you don't love him. He's insanely gorgeous, he's got a great personality otherwise. But this 1 flaw. Which isn't even morally wrong on his part at all. Makes it all not good enough.
Exactly what I've been talking about. You will lose this man and every man after for as long as you shall roam the earth. That is the curse you invoke upon yourself until you learn what love actually is.
I don't think he's nearly as dysfunctional as you are.
Posted by TerramineLightvoidUnfaithful in my heart, cursed, evil, untrustworthy.....wow you're just the good vibes the world is missing to be a beautiful place aren't you.Posted by SweetestFatale
Exactly, rationale. Or maybe work on yourself to the point where you have faith people CAN be trustworthy if you're going to choose to deal with one.
I love how you skipped over everything I said. People are factually and undeniably untrustworthy.
You aren't faithful anyways. You are unfaithful in your heart.click to expand
Posted by Capri-sunI told him that after he "joked" for an hour. I told him "You're really dwelling on this theme. Where is all this coming from?" He said I was taking it personally. Well hell yeah I am. You just told me I was cheating for an hour, physically kept your distance and then called it a joke.Posted by SweetestFatalePosted by Capri-sunYes but only because it was an unsaved number. I had no idea who it was when I decided to answer my phone. It happened to be my friend letting me know my son is invited to his sons birthday party.
Did you answer when he called?
If he's your friend why isn't the number saved? That may or may not have been going through his head at the time.
Anyway, you say he said it was just a joke....
In the moment what's wrong with asking "what makes you say that?" Then letting him know "I don't like when you joke like that & I don't find it funny. Please stop because it brings me down or offends me that you don't trust me & think I would cheat on you"
Communicate...
click to expand
Posted by TerramineLightvoidWith that mentality it's no wonder you've never had a lasting relationship.Posted by LadyNeptune
If your not ready to put your trust in the person you choose to get into a relationship with than your not ready to be in a relationship period.
Trust isn't just given, is it is earned through hard work.click to expand
Posted by TerramineLightvoidHow do you know what's in her heart? Lol gtfoh.Posted by LadyNeptune
lol lies. You cared an awfully lot when people accused you of having a pencil dick. Where was you idgaf attitude then?
The entire forum propegating lies is wholly different from an individual thinking you're unfaithful.
Technically OP is in fact unfaithful btw. Just because she doesn't cheat doesn't mean she is faithful.
She is unfaithful in her heart.click to expand
Posted by TerramineLightvoidMaybe if you were less concerned with my relationship and more concerned with Meena you guys might have lasted...oh no wait, you can't accept someones love unless they 'prove' it. Have fun being single for the rest of your life.Posted by LadyNeptune
With that mentality it's no wonder you've never had a lasting relationship.
Have fun with that. You and your Gem don't really love each other. That's just the blunt reality you don't want to face.
It's funny actually. Pisces paired with double air. So silly.click to expand
Posted by SweetestFataleKeep talking to your male friends and telling him and he will soon put his weapon in a holster and go find another target. Smarter one!
Let me add he's fuckin gorgeous. Beautiful black & Puerto Rican man, beautiful dimples with sparkling eyes. And his body..screams "I am a military trained weapon". He's so funny and sweet. His situation isn't ideal but I have 100% faith that it will improve. He's everything I want in a man.
Just like I have male friends he has female friends. I expect that he'll continue to be friends with his friends the same as he should expect me to be friends with my friends. As he stated as long as he gets to meet them and establish a rapport of respect he's ok with it.
If an adult having friends of the opposite sex is enough to release the accusations there isn't enough trust or faith to sustain a relationship anyway. I can't believe so much focus is on that 1 incident.
If an adult having friends of the opposite sex is enough to release the accusations there isn't enough trust or faith to sustain a relationship anyway. I can't believe so much focus is on that 1 incident.
When you have friends, they always cause problems in one way or another, just take him along with you to your sons birthday party invite to meet your friend x
Posted by ShadowcatPosted by TerramineLightvoidWhere's your venus?Posted by SweetestFatale
This is a horrible post. General public no one should care but someone you're in a relationship accusing you of something to the point of withholding affection isn't "I don't care".
Perhaps if I act like I don't care he would realize Im not cheating. (How stupid is that....)
Maybe I don't deserve him because I'd sure as hell prefer someone who didn't question my moral compass.
He has every right to distrust you because simply not cheating is not something you can prove to him. You have to do something to PROVE you love him.
Which I don't know if you read the whole post or not. I suspect you didn't. Because as I said. The fact that you don't need him. Is the problem. Right there. That and the fact that you only "love" him because he's super sexy and funny. Derp.
click to expand
Aries
Moon Sag/Cap cusp, Sun Aries/Taurus cusp
Thanks everyone for the great advice. I started reading a book "Wired for Love" yesterday and it spoke a lot about helping your partner feel safe and secure. I never intended to dismiss his concerns but it's not too much to ask to help him feel safe and secure.
Thanks everyone for the great advice. I started reading a book "Wired for Love" yesterday and it spoke a lot about helping your partner feel safe and secure. I never intended to dismiss his concerns but it's not too much to ask to help him feel safe and secure.
I agree Impulsv, I'd rather be wanted than needed, but I also understand others need to be needed. I will create the space/instances to need him, but it isn't automatic.
It seems like this guy has a very romanticized view of love saying things like "you don't choose to...love forces you to." Love doesn't force anything imo, the desire to care for and protect someone makes it easy for you to choose to.
It seems like this guy has a very romanticized view of love saying things like "you don't choose to...love forces you to." Love doesn't force anything imo, the desire to care for and protect someone makes it easy for you to choose to.
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