LeoFemale-CapMale-Chances? (Page 4)

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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by CAPLOCK
@PinkBirdybirdy

And @ InlovewithLife -

Please explain to me what a woman means when she has to be priorityl since that's what was mentioned ?
For me, a priority is spending enough time and putting enough effort. In my own personal circle/social circle, I have many friends. I don't check all their messages as soon as I receive them and I don't respond to all of them immediately. But that's not the case with near and dear. Be it silly stuff or serious stuff, we're always open to listening to what our close ones have to tell us, and if anything troubles them, it'd trouble me too. It's like we share everything with them and don't hide our true feelings from them.
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
I'd rather call 1800-CapLockIsCute. Because I bet he'd always answer there! Right, CapLock? 😉


Ring Ring its Me 😄 lol You're funny.




Lol! If not for fun, I'd die, CapLock!

Ahem... BTW I dialled this special Hotline number just now and it was engaged... Care to tell me who she is before I find that out myself? Grrr... !!!
I can ensure that if I was engaged I would not even be here

click to expand

You mean she won't let you be here, right? 😛
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
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Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by Jalent99
Dunno about the guys but in such situations, but when the other party gives me negative emotions, it amplifies 10x....whatever good u have done will be erased for the moment. Keep it up at getting back at him and he will be done for good....

I think it might be a Cap thing, I dont rem any of the good in the days/weeks/mths that I am unhappy with what my partner has done. In the rare occasion I decide to retaliate and after a long time I regret. Regrets rarely happen, just once in my love life, cause Caps are generally confident of decisions they have made....
Not sure but i cant pm you. Regarding what you said.... He's not just fading but pulling back because of what you wrote to him 2 Fridays ago. He probably felt show down. It showed hesitation on your part when he was making time to see you already.


My intention was NOT to hurt him, CapLock! Never! But how in the world am I supposed to take it lightly when he'd keep pulling back every now and then, and treat me like a stranger, not answering a single call and ignoring most of my messages, always saying 'busy' but never telling me even what keeps him busy! I felt bad, buddy, and I act impulsively, lose my cool easily and cannot hide my anger. So I yelled. Well, if not for all the gap in communication and the misunderstanding, I think we would've made a good couple.
What if dude at work...... What is he suppose to do ?

Im starting to question now..... What if I get into a relationship and she says its not enough ?

What If i call and text and make time to hang out with her ?

There was someone who posted not too long ago and it still wasnt enough
click to expand

Simple, buddy. If you get into a relationship, yes, call, text, hang out with her. And if you are not in a position to call, just respond that you'll get back to her later (so she'll not feel neglected), and do get back to her once you're free (now she'll really respect you for keeping up your word).

Never make her feel left alone and reassure her that you're and will be there with her always, both in the form of words and actions. If she's a really good girl, see how much of love she'll give you back! 🙂
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
I'd rather call 1800-CapLockIsCute. Because I bet he'd always answer there! Right, CapLock? 😉


Ring Ring its Me 😄 lol You're funny.




Lol! If not for fun, I'd die, CapLock!

Ahem... BTW I dialled this special Hotline number just now and it was engaged... Care to tell me who she is before I find that out myself? Grrr... !!!
I can ensure that if I was engaged I would not even be here


You mean she won't let you be here, right? 😛
Hahaha Yeah.... She would probably put hand cuffs and shackles on my feet and give a grown ass man a curfew. I would have to be home before its dark outside. If i wanted to go anywhere, she would have to sign a permission slip. Even if my phones alarm clock was going off, she would automatically assume some girl is calling me.

Oh wait.... Did i just describe what marriage is like ?

click to expand

LOL, do secretly post on this forum after you get married, CapLock! We'll love to hear from the married CapLock! 😛
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
I'd rather call 1800-CapLockIsCute. Because I bet he'd always answer there! Right, CapLock? 😉


Ring Ring its Me 😄 lol You're funny.




Lol! If not for fun, I'd die, CapLock!

Ahem... BTW I dialled this special Hotline number just now and it was engaged... Care to tell me who she is before I find that out myself? Grrr... !!!
I can ensure that if I was engaged I would not even be here


You mean she won't let you be here, right? 😛
Hahaha Yeah.... She would probably put hand cuffs and shackles on my feet and give a grown ass man a curfew. I would have to be home before its dark outside. If i wanted to go anywhere, she would have to sign a permission slip. Even if my phones alarm clock was going off, she would automatically assume some girl is calling me.

Oh wait.... Did i just describe what marriage is like ?

click to expand

Omg no lol that's not a mature relationship. For me it's not asking to be a guys only priority, but if a guy has free time then he should spend it with me. Once a week would be nice. Not every 2 and a half weeks...

Last month I asked my cap if we could go to Saratoga Race Track (horse racing) I told him its one of my favorite things to do and it's only open 6 weeks a year. He told me he likes it there too. This is already the third weekend. I also told him we could go any weekend in August that he's free. He said August is looking busy for work but hopefully we can go! I asked him what he's doing this weekend. He's going golfing! I don't care that he's going. I care that he didn't make me a priority and make plans with me first or even on Sunday. Ugh so annoying. I'm annoyed with him in general.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
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Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by InLoveWithLife
PinkBird03, that's exactly what I mean, too! They have time for everything else but they tell you they're busy! 'Annoying' is the word! And no, neither do I expect to be his only priority, that'd make things horrible for both of us.

But if you guys haven't even said the L word so far, then I wouldn't wanna confuse you with my opinions.
I think we are in very similar situations. They sound too similar!!
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
I'd rather call 1800-CapLockIsCute. Because I bet he'd always answer there! Right, CapLock? 😉


Ring Ring its Me 😄 lol You're funny.




Lol! If not for fun, I'd die, CapLock!

Ahem... BTW I dialled this special Hotline number just now and it was engaged... Care to tell me who she is before I find that out myself? Grrr... !!!
I can ensure that if I was engaged I would not even be here


You mean she won't let you be here, right? 😛
Hahaha Yeah.... She would probably put hand cuffs and shackles on my feet and give a grown ass man a curfew. I would have to be home before its dark outside. If i wanted to go anywhere, she would have to sign a permission slip. Even if my phones alarm clock was going off, she would automatically assume some girl is calling me.

Oh wait.... Did i just describe what marriage is like ?


Omg no lol that's not a mature relationship. For me it's not asking to be a guys only priority, but if a guy has free time then he should spend it with me. Once a week would be nice. Not every 2 and a half weeks...

Last month I asked my cap if we could go to Saratoga Race Track (horse racing) I told him its one of my favorite things to do and it's only open 6 weeks a year. He told me he likes it there too. This is already the third weekend. I also told him we could go any weekend in August that he's free. usy for work but hopefully we can go! I asked him what he's doing this weekend. He's going golfing! I don't care that he's going. I care that he didn't make me a priority and make plans with me first or even on Sunday. Ugh so annoying. I'm annoyed with him in general.
Thank you. Ok. Once a week lol No golfing with the guys.... Time to watch horses race..Yee Ha im gonna be a Cowboy 😄 Can we go buy cowboy hats too and matching boots ? Lol

click to expand

Lol it's not the south. It's in upstate New York. Rather preppy. I always wear a dress!! Google it
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Jalent
@Jalent99
9 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 5
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by CAPLOCK
@Jalent99 - Sorry this is going public. But i trust everyone here. Moving on forward.....No Drunk Texting 🙂 Dude is upset. Try making him laugh. It can speed up the forgiveness process
Thank U! Ok let me try to lighten the mood!
Aww what happened @jalent99
click to expand

? I drunk txt him 2 fris back.....and del the msg on my end....didnt know what i wrote. It was a one liner, no drama thats all i rem. I m guessing - I m walking away cause I feel like ur fwb.

Anyway tht wkend and last mon he txt me frequently, met me mon too.... Then I didnt hear from him till fri....he suggested to meet, we had a drink for a bit. Then didnt hear from him again....just a cold msg mon. Maybe i over read the cold part.....

We text a little the last 2days like maybe an exchange of 5 msgs....I was concern abt him fading out....

Saw the bits abt priority part, I dont think I m his priority too. His wkends are for friends and family. This wkend he has to travel for work....my only condolence is that he always initiates meeting me, at least once a wk...think I have only asked him out once thus far
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Jalent
@Jalent99
9 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 5
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
Thank you. Ok. Once a week lol No golfing with the guys.... Time to watch horses race..Yee Ha im gonna be a Cowboy 😄 Can we go buy cowboy hats too and matching boots ? Lol

click to expand

I wouldnt say no to him spending time with his buds, but if I were to personally know them, I would gladly say go. And it would be nice to be invited occasionally....
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
Thank you. Ok. Once a week lol No golfing with the guys.... Time to watch horses race..Yee Ha im gonna be a Cowboy 😄 Can we go buy cowboy hats too and matching boots ? Lol


I wouldnt say no to him spending time with his buds, but if I were to personally know them, I would gladly say go. And it would be nice to be invited occasionally....

click to expand

I have no problem with him golfing and hanging out with his friends. I just want to go to the track with him because it's so much fun and there aren't too many weekends left!

I want to add this.. I'm rather shy and afraid to say how I feel. Communication or lack of was a big issue in my relationship. But I've been very honest and open with him lately and we've had much deeper conversations about our relationship, what we want, what we believe, the future including marriage, ect.

It seems like we're all dealing with communication problems. We just all need to find an effective way to do this.
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 561 · Topics: 16
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
I'd rather call 1800-CapLockIsCute. Because I bet he'd always answer there! Right, CapLock? 😉


Ring Ring its Me 😄 lol You're funny.




Lol! If not for fun, I'd die, CapLock!

Ahem... BTW I dialled this special Hotline number just now and it was engaged... Care to tell me who she is before I find that out myself? Grrr... !!!
I can ensure that if I was engaged I would not even be here


You mean she won't let you be here, right? 😛
Hahaha Yeah.... She would probably put hand cuffs and shackles on my feet and give a grown ass man a curfew. I would have to be home before its dark outside. If i wanted to go anywhere, she would have to sign a permission slip. Even if my phones alarm clock was going off, she would automatically assume some girl is calling me.

Oh wait.... Did i just describe what marriage is like ?


LOL, do secretly post on this forum after you get married, CapLock! We'll love to hear from the married CapLock! 😛
Remember ? My future wife would have to be top priority.

After reading all the comments, taking them into consideration about guys holding back and causing girls to lose feelings and leave...... It makes me really think.

Im hanging out with my female co-worker this week since she invited me out.... IM NOT GOING TO HOLD BACK ONE BIT so i hope she's prepared for what's coming. Im letting the full blooded Capricorn loose.





click to expand

Cool, buddy! Just don't overdo it. Things will be fine! Good luck! 🙂
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 561 · Topics: 16
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by pinkbird03
Call 1-800-CAPLOCK-ISAWESOME
I'd rather call 1800-CapLockIsCute. Because I bet he'd always answer there! Right, CapLock? 😉


Ring Ring its Me 😄 lol You're funny.




Lol! If not for fun, I'd die, CapLock!

Ahem... BTW I dialled this special Hotline number just now and it was engaged... Care to tell me who she is before I find that out myself? Grrr... !!!
I can ensure that if I was engaged I would not even be here


You mean she won't let you be here, right? 😛
Hahaha Yeah.... She would probably put hand cuffs and shackles on my feet and give a grown ass man a curfew. I would have to be home before its dark outside. If i wanted to go anywhere, she would have to sign a permission slip. Even if my phones alarm clock was going off, she would automatically assume some girl is calling me.

Oh wait.... Did i just describe what marriage is like ?


Omg no lol that's not a mature relationship. For me it's not asking to be a guys only priority, but if a guy has free time then he should spend it with me. Once a week would be nice. Not every 2 and a half weeks...

Last month I asked my cap if we could go to Saratoga Race Track (horse racing) I told him its one of my favorite things to do and it's only open 6 weeks a year. He told me he likes it there too. This is already the third weekend. I also told him we could go any weekend in August that he's free. He said August is looking busy for work but hopefully we can go! I asked him what he's doing this weekend. He's going golfing! I don't care that he's going. I care that he didn't make me a priority and make plans with me first or even on Sunday. Ugh so annoying. I'm annoyed with him in general.
Thank you. Ok. Once a week lol No golfing with the guys.... Time to watch horses race..Yee Ha im gonna be a Cowboy 😄 Can we go buy cowboy hats too and matching boots ? Lol

click to expand

LOL! Your gal should be really lucky! 😉
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by pinkbird03
— roses for @inlovewithlife because she deserves something SOO special because she's one of the nicest girl on here! I'm mad at your guy for not thinking clearly!!
Aww... Chweet of you, dear! He gave me more than roses; he gave me some romantic poems, but all that lasted only till I admitted that I loved him, too.

Sad, yeah, but this is what almost all women say about their Cap men - check out the comments in many sites; I used to check out 'Leo woman Capricorn man compatibility' and was I surprised when I saw so many versions of my own story, some even from a decade ago!
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Good luck though lady


I'm Lady Luck, dearie. All smiles now. Come over for some fun anytime! 🙂
So what are your expectation seriously? What's your Venus? 7th house? And possibly 5th?
I don't know about my astrology chart stuff, dear. I only know that my sun sign is awesome Leo 😉 and my moon sign is Scorpio. Don't know any details of his either except that he's a Cap Sun.

My expectation is simple - give me the time and effort, loyalty and honesty that I give you. I'm not asking for something that I'm not giving!

Also be more open, at least during really strenuous times or rough times, so that whatever the problem be, we can sort things out together.

Other than that, you be yourself and I'll be myself. We'll lead a happy life being each other's most trustworthy and reliable partner cum friend. Simple.
No offense, he's being himself & you're saying it's not good enough
click to expand

No offense, but I think that you noticed only the 'you be yourself' part, dear. I have mentioned a few basic needs. Other than that, I'd like him to be himself - let him read his fav books, watch his fav shows, listen to the music he likes, and do what he wants to do.
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 561 · Topics: 16
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by CAPLOCK
@Jalent99 - Sorry this is going public. But i trust everyone here. Moving on forward.....No Drunk Texting 🙂 Dude is upset. Try making him laugh. It can speed up the forgiveness process
Thank U! Ok let me try to lighten the mood!
Aww what happened @jalent99
? I drunk txt him 2 fris back.....and del the msg on my end....didnt know what i wrote. It was a one liner, no drama thats all i rem. I m guessing - I m walking away cause I feel like ur fwb.

Anyway tht wkend and last mon he txt me frequently, met me mon too.... Then I didnt hear from him till fri....he suggested to meet, we had a drink for a bit. Then didnt hear from him again....just a cold msg mon. Maybe i over read the cold part.....

We text a little the last 2days like maybe an exchange of 5 msgs....I was concern abt him fading out....

Saw the bits abt priority part, I dont think I m his priority too. His wkends are for friends and family. This wkend he has to travel for work....my only condolence is that he always initiates meeting me, at least once a wk...think I have only asked him out once thus far

click to expand

Dear, I don't know about the who asks out who first thingy. But if you give him a thumbs up every time he asks you out, I think that by itself gives a clear sign that you're into him. Do Google 'signs he loves me' to understand things better. That might help you. The priority thingy made me feel so bad, but they say other things like 'the way he looks at you; looks don't lie; if he looks at you with love in his eyes, blah blah...' And in this guys case, nearly 5 outta 10 signs say that he loves me! 50% shucks! How is a girl supposed to make out when everything and also the guy himself is so confusing!!
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by leowww
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by leowww
@InLoveWithLife you haven't heard from him?
No, dear. The last message he'd sent me was on 30th July, and the last one I'd sent him was on 31st. I'd be happy to know that he's happy. Because there have been times in the past when he'd be really upset but not reveal it, and I have to make out using some subtle hints! Phew!

Did you fight last?

😢 sorry about that.

Don't wait around, keep your mind busy..

Whatever you decide stay strong...
click to expand

Thanks a ton, dear leowww! Fun, good friends and boosts from you guys who know my situation is exactly what I need at the moment. Thank you. I'll try my best to keep myself strong, dear.

To answer your question, yep, we did argue for about a week and it all ended (no, it didn't get resolved) with the last exchange of messages. Now there's no way I can contact him even if I want to because I've deleted all his contact details (I think that's a good thing I've done actually). So I'll get my answers if and when he comes back. Till then, like you said, I'll have to be strong! 🙂
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by Jalent99
Dunno about the guys but in such situations, but when the other party gives me negative emotions, it amplifies 10x....whatever good u have done will be erased for the moment. Keep it up at getting back at him and he will be done for good....

I think it might be a Cap thing, I dont rem any of the good in the days/weeks/mths that I am unhappy with what my partner has done. In the rare occasion I decide to retaliate and after a long time I regret. Regrets rarely happen, just once in my love life, cause Caps are generally confident of decisions they have made....
Not sure but i cant pm you. Regarding what you said.... He's not just fading but pulling back because of what you wrote to him 2 Fridays ago. He probably felt show down. It showed hesitation on your part when he was making time to see you already.


My intention was NOT to hurt him, CapLock! Never! But how in the world am I supposed to take it lightly when he'd keep pulling back every now and then, and treat me like a stranger, not answering a single call and ignoring most of my messages, always saying 'busy' but never telling me even what keeps him busy! I felt bad, buddy, and I act impulsively, lose my cool easily and cannot hide my anger. So I yelled. Well, if not for all the gap in communication and the misunderstanding, I think we would've made a good couple.

No offense again, why would someone want to talk to someone who yells at them

click to expand

Darling, yelling and silent treatment, both are supposed to be forms of emotional abuse. They say that yelling is better because you will at least know what's running in the person's mind but silence is a 'relationship killer'. That's what he does to me. Silence every time I ask him a serious question. Silence after an intimate/deep conversation. Silence after meeting (not when we meet) personally. Silence after a fight. Silence because he's busy. Silence when I ask him what he's doing. How am I supposed to figure out what's running in his mind—

I so want to be there by his side if he's really going through a tough time, simply to make him feel better by giving him company, not by helping him with his work (neither can I do it nor would he like it). But he doesn't even tell me what's happening on his side. Like all other people in his circle, I'm supposed to know and learn from his blog posts! How bad would a girl then feel? Imagine.
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Jalent99
Posted by CAPLOCK
@Jalent99 - Sorry this is going public. But i trust everyone here. Moving on forward.....No Drunk Texting 🙂 Dude is upset. Try making him laugh. It can speed up the forgiveness process
Thank U! Ok let me try to lighten the mood!
click to expand

This is just a suggestion, dear. I suggest that you text him light, something casual, on and off, now and then. That will show him that you care. But don't overdo it, dear. Sometimes, we do that mistake and that feeds their ego, as a result of which we become their last priority!
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Foreverloveme
@pinkbird03

Idk if this will help any. My schedule is pretty full, & sometimes even overbooked. I'm not that busy where I won't make time. So sometimes things are planned way in advance.

That being said, I function best when people give me structure. So he'll be gone for work, I would suggest giving him the specific day, date & time.

"Hey, Sat Aug. 20 @6p I want to go to the racetrack. Will you take me?" Or "Will you be free this day & time to go since it's closing in 3 weeks"

Then I can put it on my calendar ahead of time & won't schedule anything else
#Foreverloveme,

No contact for nearly four or five days now. The last chat was an argument. He accused me of a lot of things, I said that either both of us have made mistakes or neither of us made any; also I politely explained that things might be better if both of us learnt to look at things from the other's point of view, meet personally and talk, etc. No reply. That night I sent him a message "hope things are fine on your side; I had a good day. Take care" following which he'd posted the sarcastic 'welcome back' poem.

As per what we'd agreed earlier, he'd book tickets on 1st Aug (his payday) to come to my place for my birthday (3rd weekend of Aug).

Now, no contact. There's no way I could contact him either. His blog hasn't been updated after that. I wonder what's going on. You think it is really over, or like the other times, will he come back? There's no clarity, never with this guy!
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Fire + Earth = Volcano

All I'm saying is this:

1. I won't tell someone what I'm going through typically until after it's over

2. If someone is yelling at me then I'm going to create distance

A) because if I yell back at you, I might say something I can't take back & later regret....words hurt too

B) you're probably not hearing what I have to say anyway

I didn't say it is right or wrong I'm just saying it is.

Silence is how he copes, if you can't accept that then you have made the right decision.

Same way you want someone to understand & accept you when you are upset & yelling & wanting to talk about the problem.
I agree with the volcano thingy even if he haven't had such extremes so far. But I remember reading that earth plus fire can also be as warm as the campfire if they simply understood each other.

Yes, you're right. Our ways of coping with the situation is totally different. I yell and he keeps things to himself or posts something mean or rude on his blog when he's mad (not necessarily with me). How am I supposed to understand how he is doing—

He makes me feel as though caring, loving, and showing concern are various forms of crime!
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Foreverloveme
@pinkbird03

Idk if this will help any. My schedule is pretty full, & sometimes even overbooked. I'm not that busy where I won't make time. So sometimes things are planned way in advance.

That being said, I function best when people give me structure. So he'll be gone for work, I would suggest giving him the specific day, date & time.

"Hey, Sat Aug. 20 @6p I want to go to the racetrack. Will you take me?" Or "Will you be free this day & time to go since it's closing in 3 weeks"

Then I can put it on my calendar ahead of time & won't schedule anything else
Yes I might! I still go without him because I love it so much! So it's really not that big of a deal. Sometimes I vent on here because it's a safe place to express my emotions. Being a cancer I can sometimes be overly emotional. But I don't feel the same need to complain to a guy I'm dating because it's really not that important and I get over it rather quickly.
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 561 · Topics: 16
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by Foreverloveme
Fire + Earth = Volcano

All I'm saying is this:

1. I won't tell someone what I'm going through typically until after it's over

2. If someone is yelling at me then I'm going to create distance

A) because if I yell back at you, I might say something I can't take back & later regret....words hurt too

B) you're probably not hearing what I have to say anyway

I didn't say it is right or wrong I'm just saying it is.

Silence is how he copes, if you can't accept that then you have made the right decision.

Same way you want someone to understand & accept you when you are upset & yelling & wanting to talk about the problem.
I agree with the volcano thingy even if he haven't had such extremes so far. But I remember reading that earth plus fire can also be as warm as the campfire if they simply understood each other.

Yes, you're right. Our ways of coping with the situation is totally different. I yell and he keeps things to himself or posts something mean or rude on his blog when he's mad (not necessarily with me). How am I supposed to understand how he is doing—

He makes me feel as though caring, loving, and showing concern are various forms of crime!
You really won't understand unless he tells you. That comes with time, understanding, patience, & trust

There are only a few occasions where people can see the pain in my eyes from the tears I'm holding back. Other than that I have to tell you "I'm hurt" or you'd never know because I can bury it so well

If a person keeps threatening to leave (not referring to you, just in general) I will not open up to them either because I'd be afraid that you'd leave at any sign of trouble.

That's why we sit & suffer in silence

click to expand

Oh god! The problem with me is I can deal with my own suffering very well and come out feeling much stronger. But if I see/know that someone I like is hurt, that'd kind of kill me. I'm too sensitive. Reading the words in your last post kinda did something to me as I have the habit of imagining everything I read, and wet eyes? No! I'll not wait and watch. I'll hug you instantly, no matter whether you like it or not, and say "I'm there!". Super silly. Kiddish. I know. But that's how I am.

Now thinking that he could be hurt, really, really makes me feel bad. Definitely not my fault or his. It's all caused by misunderstanding. But the problem is that if I go now trying to somehow reach out to him when he hasn't cooled off yet, then I'll get some other cold response (remember the sarcastic poem?) Or silence.

I can only hope that he's good. Or, I don't know...
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
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#Foreverloveme,

Also I'm not sure about getting my answers on my birthday either, because he's told me 3 or 4 times in the past that he doesn't care to remember dates and doesn't wish even his parents on birthdays/anniversaries because he thinks that they are the same as any other day. If he reaches out to me, it'd be great. If not, I won't know why. Is it because he's calmed down and doesn't care to wish me/just doesn't remember, or if he hasn't overcome all the pain...

The fact that I am unable to give him my love kills me, darling. All I want is to hug him and say, "I love you" everyday of my life. I don't know if I'm asking for too much if he's not ready for it yet! Wonder where this will lead me...
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
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Posted by tiki33
When a person has a commitmentphobia he will hurt a woman because he's never ever thinking about the situation in terms of the OTHER person, he's almost always only thinking about himself, his needs, his desires, him him him and this isn't done to hurt others on purpose, it's just a state of mind that comes along with being commitmentphobic.
Tiki,

The problem is that both of us are strong (stubborn) self-lovers. Both of us are 'I-me-myself' to a certain extent. I want him to understand my needs and he wants me to understand his. We think mostly of our wants and needs. Natural for two tough self-lovers. But we also really like and care for each other. But something or the other keeps coming in the way constantly that we have so much of misunderstanding. He's not that bad. He does have a beautiful side. Just that he opens that side rarely, and that could be due to the circumstances and his sweet shyness.

Please, you may mean good really, but please do not say anything bad about him, dear. I can't take it. Weighing all sides and stating reality is one thing; concentrating only on his flaws (as though I'm an angel and have zero flaws), no, I can't accept it. Hope you understand.
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
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Posted by Foreverloveme
He'll be okay. He just needs time to process his feelings. That's why the best response isn't frustration & anger, but patience & understanding

Yes a lot of misunderstandings, I feel that way myself.

Just give it time. If he reaches back out, then know he loves you & don't question it further.

If not, you’re still the amazing Leo that you are & any guy would be lucky to have 🙂
Darling, please forgive me for constantly pestering you, asking you the same old question over and over again. But I really don't know/understand the language of shy people.

So if he just reaches out to me again, that by itself means he loves me? Really? 😄 tell me, please?

(You kinda know some magic stuff! You know how to excite me and make me feel like a kiddo! Lol!)
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InLoveWithLife
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Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by pinkbird03
@caplock yay go all out!!! Bring her flowers too! I've always wanted that. Preferably roses. What day is this?
I never buy roses because they just die.

I feel like if I express my feelings, i dont want to represent it with something that fades overtime.

We're hanging out Saturday.

Seeing her today at work and talking for 5 minutes seriously made me happy. She leaves when I come in so, tomorrow ill just go in a bit early.

click to expand

Super cool! Those 5 mins... I understand, dear! So you'll go in a bit early? That's nice. And roses on the first date when you guys don't know each other so well (I'm just assuming all this), even I'm not sure... But keep a good balance of talking and listening.

Tip: ask her in a friendly way what she generally likes, she shouldn't get any clue what you're up to. Find out what she likes, chocolates, cards or roses or stuffed toys (lol), and the next time, surprise her with that. Don't overdo it. Just give her the surprise and act as though everything's normal and there's no reason to get excited.

Most women love surprises and I bet she'll remember this for a lifetime! Good luck, sweetheart! 🙂
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by Foreverloveme
He'll be okay. He just needs time to process his feelings. That's why the best response isn't frustration & anger, but patience & understanding

Yes a lot of misunderstandings, I feel that way myself.

Just give it time. If he reaches back out, then know he loves you & don't question it further.

If not, you’re still the amazing Leo that you are & any guy would be lucky to have 🙂
Darling, please forgive me for constantly pestering you, asking you the same old question over and over again. But I really don't know/understand the language of shy people.

So if he just reaches out to me again, that by itself means he loves me? Really? 😄 tell me, please?

(You kinda know some magic stuff! You know how to excite me and make me feel like a kiddo! Lol!)

Lol! (at the last part)

You're not pestering me. I don't want you to get your hopes up because I have different categories. I can give you some examples

-some guys I meet online, talk for 1 week to 1 month. Tell them I'm not interested & they no longer hear from me

-aries guy younger than me, virgin. Broke up after 2 months. He said I was "evil" the "devil" threatened to call cps on me to have my kids taken, asked me to send back the Christmas or birthday present he gave me. We never met in person. Threw things i confided in him about back in my face. I sent him a happy birthday email 2-3 months later & asked how he was because I genuinely cared about him, just didn't want a relationship especially after the things he said.

-pisces guy we would go 3 months no contact & I'd reach back out. At the time I wanted a relationship, looking back I'm glad it didn't happen

-Taurus super sweet friend of mine, just didn't want relationships at the same time as the opposite person did. I'd reach out because I love & care for him.

Things happen for a reason. If the relationship doesn't work out, maybe he isn't able to fully appreciate you for all your greatness. Seriously I know it's hard, it does get easier & better. You could actually be dodging a bullet

click to expand


Wow! I've read all this several times but it never occurred to me to apply this to my present condition! You're supercool! :*

And it's really nice of you, dear. "I don't want to get your hopes up" - so kind and sensible. Thanks a lot, dear! 😄
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InLoveWithLife
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Posted by Foreverloveme
Oh I only tolerate bs from those I love was the point I was trying to make. So if you piss me off & I'm still reaching out trying to connect & spend time with you then yeas I love you
Applying that formula, it means both of us really, really liked each other so much (I'm also like you in that area, will bend only for a select few). Both of us have given each other so much of torture, yet we have come back in the past! Lol!

Hope it works out!
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Jalent
@Jalent99
9 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 5
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by CAPLOCK
@Jalent99 - Sorry this is going public. But i trust everyone here. Moving on forward.....No Drunk Texting 🙂 Dude is upset. Try making him laugh. It can speed up the forgiveness process
Thank U! Ok let me try to lighten the mood!
Aww what happened @jalent99
? I drunk txt him 2 fris back.....and del the msg on my end....didnt know what i wrote. It was a one liner, no drama thats all i rem. I m guessing - I m walking away cause I feel like ur fwb.

Anyway tht wkend and last mon he txt me frequently, met me mon too.... Then I didnt hear from him till fri....he suggested to meet, we had a drink for a bit. Then didnt hear from him again....just a cold msg mon. Maybe i over read the cold part.....

We text a little the last 2days like maybe an exchange of 5 msgs....I was concern abt him fading out....

Saw the bits abt priority part, I dont think I m his priority too. His wkends are for friends and family. This wkend he has to travel for work....my only condolence is that he always initiates meeting me, at least once a wk...think I have only asked him out once thus far


Dear, I don't know about the who asks out who first thingy. But if you give him a thumbs up every time he asks you out, I think that by itself gives a clear sign that you're into him. Do Google 'signs he loves me' to understand things better. That might help you. The priority thingy made me feel so bad, but they say other things like 'the way he looks at you; looks don't lie; if he looks at you with love in his eyes, blah blah...' And in this guys case, nearly 5 outta 10 signs say that he loves me! 50% shucks! How is a girl supposed to make out when everything and also the guy himself is so confusing!!
click to expand

U r adorable! Lol I dont think the signs work, there are always skilled players. Go with how u feel he feels when with u....

I m definitely into him and as a Cap I m straight up with showing it in action, ie accepting every invitation to hangout....afterall he does work real late and he always ask in the morning or the day before....i think he is making an effort
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InLoveWithLife
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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by InLoveWithLife
#Foreverloveme,

Also I'm not sure about getting my answers on my birthday either, because he's told me 3 or 4 times in the past that he doesn't care to remember dates and doesn't wish even his parents on birthdays/anniversaries because he thinks that they are the same as any other day. If he reaches out to me, it'd be great. If not, I won't know why. Is it because he's calmed down and doesn't care to wish me/just doesn't remember, or if he hasn't overcome all the pain...

The fact that I am unable to give him my love kills me, darling. All I want is to hug him and say, "I love you" everyday of my life. I don't know if I'm asking for too much if he's not ready for it yet! Wonder where this will lead me...

Just say this post. I'm a birthday person.

People often forget mine so I'm use to it. I'll mention it. I'm not the type to stop talking to someone over it.

Like my ex remembered it, but he would buy things i didn't want which i told him i didn't want ahead of time so i felt unheard.

No he should be over it by then just my opinion

click to expand

You're right again, I guess. 15-20 days should be time enough for him to cool down. Either I'll get to wear my fav new dress and dine with him like we planned/ at least talk to him, or I'll get my answers and become a newer, stronger version, learning to happily let things go.
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InLoveWithLife
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Posted by Foreverloveme
Everyone has their own dating standards. So just come up with a list of things you can live with & things you won’t tolerate for each potential relationship. What's important to me might not be important to you & vice versa
That's exactly what I'm planning to do - discuss our wants, needs, expectations, plans, dreams, and comforts.

But this time, I don't wanna goof it up again by having this important discussion over text. This is my first experience in LDR. So we've gotta meet and spend solid time with each other to discuss things out. Hope things will soon be okay!
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Greentea
@Greentea
10 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by CAPLOCK
Posted by pinkbird03
@caplock yay go all out!!! Bring her flowers too! I've always wanted that. Preferably roses. What day is this?
I never buy roses because they just die.

I feel like if I express my feelings, i dont want to represent it with something that fades overtime.

We're hanging out Saturday.

Seeing her today at work and talking for 5 minutes seriously made me happy. She leaves when I come in so, tomorrow ill just go in a bit early.

click to expand

That's great Caplock!! We have to share stories of how it went then. 😄

What's your friends sign?

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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Jalent99
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Jalent99
Posted by CAPLOCK
@Jalent99 - Sorry this is going public. But i trust everyone here. Moving on forward.....No Drunk Texting 🙂 Dude is upset. Try making him laugh. It can speed up the forgiveness process
Thank U! Ok let me try to lighten the mood!
Aww what happened @jalent99
? I drunk txt him 2 fris back.....and del the msg on my end....didnt know what i wrote. It was a one liner, no drama thats all i rem. I m guessing - I m walking away cause I feel like ur fwb.

Anyway tht wkend and last mon he txt me frequently, met me mon too.... Then I didnt hear from him till fri....he suggested to meet, we had a drink for a bit. Then didnt hear from him again....just a cold msg mon. Maybe i over read the cold part.....

We text a little the last 2days like maybe an exchange of 5 msgs....I was concern abt him fading out....

Saw the bits abt priority part, I dont think I m his priority too. His wkends are for friends and family. This wkend he has to travel for work....my only condolence is that he always initiates meeting me, at least once a wk...think I have only asked him out once thus far


Dear, I don't know about the who asks out who first thingy. But if you give him a thumbs up every time he asks you out, I think that by itself gives a clear sign that you're into him. Do Google 'signs he loves me' to understand things better. That might help you. The priority thingy made me feel so bad, but they say other things like 'the way he looks at you; looks don't lie; if he looks at you with love in his eyes, blah blah...' And in this guys case, nearly 5 outta 10 signs say that he loves me! 50% shucks! How is a girl supposed to make out when everything and also the guy himself is so confusing!!
U r adorable! Lol I dont think the signs work, there are always skilled players. Go with how u feel he feels when with u....

I m definitely into him and as a Cap I m straight up with showing it in action, ie accepting every invitation to hangout....afterall he does work real late and he always ask in the morning or the day before....i think he is making an effort
click to expand

That's cool, dear! And yes, this guy is so nice when we meet. If not for all the consistent chaos, ... Well, I'll just take this as a challenge for us! 🙂
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Jalent99
@inlovewithlife

Caps and Leo love in different style s.....I believe a lot of compromise is required
That's right. First we've to come out of ourselves to understand the other better. Then compromising will happen naturally, I believe.

Do check out the last poem I wrote for him just an hour ago. Shared the link in my last post, I guess. Lol, that fellow, he's .... Grrr...!!!
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Jalent
@Jalent99
9 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 5
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by Jalent99
@inlovewithlife

Caps and Leo love in different style s.....I believe a lot of compromise is required
That's right. First we've to come out of ourselves to understand the other better. Then compromising will happen naturally, I believe.

Do check out the last poem I wrote for him just an hour ago. Shared the link in my last post, I guess. Lol, that fellow, he's .... Grrr...!!!
click to expand

Lol! U know what, most Caps know we ourselves are difficult people, but we cant help it. We each have our own principals and are hardass abt it. I seriously dunno how much a Cap is willing to bend over backwards unless the Cap is seriously in love....
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InLoveWithLife
@InLoveWithLife
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Jalent99
Posted by InLoveWithLife
Posted by Jalent99
@inlovewithlife

Caps and Leo love in different style s.....I believe a lot of compromise is required
That's right. First we've to come out of ourselves to understand the other better. Then compromising will happen naturally, I believe.

Do check out the last poem I wrote for him just an hour ago. Shared the link in my last post, I guess. Lol, that fellow, he's .... Grrr...!!!
Lol! U know what, most Caps know we ourselves are difficult people, but we cant help it. We each have our own principals and are hardass abt it. I seriously dunno how much a Cap is willing to bend over backwards unless the Cap is seriously in love....
click to expand

Think no less of a Lion's pride, dearie. My favourite sayings - "A king only bows to his queen"; "A Lioness is never submissive; she merely let's you be king for as long as it pleases her."

😄