Need some advice or a slap in my face (Page 2)

Posted by Lindaaaatje

Posted by SpiceNSugar
I know this is really hard for you Linda but you did the right thing!!

You did great to confront him like that because you let him see that you are a smart and strong woman and that he is the one who was cornered. He had that coming to him for a LONG time now and deserved every bit of it!

Stay strong and know you did well! Here's wishing you bigger, better and brighter things in the future!!

Thx , doesn't feel like i did the right thing. But my head says yes you did....

click to expand

just give him time to miss you

he will see (if he is really chatting with other women), that the grass is not always greener.....

the chatting maybe have been a good fun and ego-booster, until he had you, but when you left him, it will not be enough..

if you love him, just stay patitent, he will realise very soon about that above mentioned greener grass 🙂

Posted by Lindaaaatje

Posted by SpiceNSugar
I know this is really hard for you Linda but you did the right thing!!

You did great to confront him like that because you let him see that you are a smart and strong woman and that he is the one who was cornered. He had that coming to him for a LONG time now and deserved every bit of it!

Stay strong and know you did well! Here's wishing you bigger, better and brighter things in the future!!

Thx , doesn't feel like i did the right thing. But my head says yes you did....

click to expand

Your head is right even though your heart says otherwise. Stay strong!

Posted by Lindaaaatje

Posted by SpiceNSugar

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Linda,

I've read many of your previous posts and know that your relationship with this man has been degrading over time. Honestly, I'm sorry because I know how much you love him.

This being said, I think you have to realize that there have been huge red flags going up with this Cap man over the course of the past year, if my memory serves me right. I really think that you have no option, but to confront him and if he's not forthcoming, you need to consider letting him go.

Bumping my own comment because I think you either didn't see it or completely ignored it.

Also, as ElleduMonde said, this man has a problem with monogmy.

PERIOD.

no i didn't see it . And you are right, i should leave. I just have to prepare myself mentally to actualy do it.

click to expand

Linda dear!

I have been married to a Cap for 23 years.

He had been married 3 times before me. He cheated, wives cheated.

When we had met he was 37. He had never cheated on me because

he said he actually loves me! He matured by that time I guess.

So it IS possible but I am concern that your Cap isn't trying to explain

whatsup with wassup. He is silent and accepting friendship zone.

Also when did it happened with sex drive? Can you draw parallel between

then and change in his behavior?

My heart is bleeding for you. Hope all of this just a phase. But someone

mentioned here that your relationships were degrading (1st page).

So how about that?

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Lindaaaatje

Posted by SpiceNSugar

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Linda,

I've read many of your previous posts and know that your relationship with this man has been degrading over time. Honestly, I'm sorry because I know how much you love him.

This being said, I think you have to realize that there have been huge red flags going up with this Cap man over the course of the past year, if my memory serves me right. I really think that you have no option, but to confront him and if he's not forthcoming, you need to consider letting him go.

Bumping my own comment because I think you either didn't see it or completely ignored it.

Also, as ElleduMonde said, this man has a problem with monogmy.

PERIOD.

no i didn't see it . And you are right, i should leave. I just have to prepare myself mentally to actualy do it.

Linda dear!

I have been married to a Cap for 23 years.

He had been married 3 times before me. He cheated, wives cheated.

When we had met he was 37. He had never cheated on me because

he said he actually loves me! He matured by that time I guess.

So it IS possible but I am concern that your Cap isn't trying to explain

whatsup with wassup. He is silent and accepting friendship zone.

Also when did it happened with sex drive? Can you draw parallel between

then and change in his behavior?

My heart is bleeding for you. Hope all of this just a phase. But someone

mentioned here that your relationships were degrading (1st page).

So how about that?

click to expand

My cap was married twoo times. First wife , who he has a daughter with, had a cleaning disorder ( was confirmed by his daughter that it was true) they were married for 6 years. He married verry young to escape from home. He had a severe father who was a police officer. The rebel didn't like that :-)

Second wife, he married out off neccesaty businesswise. She was in and out of mental hospitals ( and still is). He was married for 8 years . Then he had another girlfriend who he loved very much, he stayed with her and her 3 children for 10 years. She left him after she cheated on him for years. he knew about the cheating but still stayed with her for a very long time. I think after that he had some sort of a depression . Then came the playing with women time. As i mentionned before, at one point he had 3 women who he had sex with/dated at the same time.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Lindaaaatje

Posted by SpiceNSugar

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Linda,

I've read many of your previous posts and know that your relationship with this man has been degrading over time. Honestly, I'm sorry because I know how much you love him.

This being said, I think you have to realize that there have been huge red flags going up with this Cap man over the course of the past year, if my memory serves me right. I really think that you have no option, but to confront him and if he's not forthcoming, you need to consider letting him go.

Bumping my own comment because I think you either didn't see it or completely ignored it.

Also, as ElleduMonde said, this man has a problem with monogmy.

PERIOD.

no i didn't see it . And you are right, i should leave. I just have to prepare myself mentally to actualy do it.

Linda dear!

I have been married to a Cap for 23 years.

He had been married 3 times before me. He cheated, wives cheated.

When we had met he was 37. He had never cheated on me because

he said he actually loves me! He matured by that time I guess.

So it IS possible but I am concern that your Cap isn't trying to explain

whatsup with wassup. He is silent and accepting friendship zone.

Also when did it happened with sex drive? Can you draw parallel between

then and change in his behavior?

My heart is bleeding for you. Hope all of this just a phase. But someone

mentioned here that your relationships were degrading (1st page).

So how about that?

click to expand

Then he found out that i was getting a divorce after my marriage of 27 years. He and i saw eachother and bam, cupids arrow hit their target.

As for whattsapp, he still isn't saying who he spoke too. He mentionned in general that he is still speeking or mes

About the time we lived together or moved in with eachother (8 months after we have met), it started to become less and less. But he had a lot of work and was very overweight at that time. So i thought maybe that could be the reason. When i talked him about it, he said " i always had a low sexdrive". True, when he was 17 and we were togheter, we had sex 1 time in 8 months. Lately, the sex was better, frequently. Maybe, because he is talking or chatting with other women? Don't know, still can't live with that. Porn is ok but that sort of chatting is emotional cheating to me.

He had a gastric bypass in december last year due to very overweight and pain in his back, knees ect. He lost 45 kg and feels great allthough i feel a change in his personality. He is grumpier, On the otherhand his ego got a boost. He is 50 years old and looks great...

Linda dear!

I have been married to a Cap for 23 years.

He had been married 3 times before me. He cheated, wives cheated.

When we had met he was 37. He had never cheated on me because

he said he actually loves me! He matured by that time I guess.

So it IS possible but I am concern that your Cap isn't trying to explain

whatsup with wassup. He is silent and accepting friendship zone.

Also when did it happened with sex drive? Can you draw parallel between

then and change in his behavior?

My heart is bleeding for you. Hope all of this just a phase. But someone

mentioned here that your relationships were degrading (1st page).

So how about that?



We are like magnets for eachother. That's the problem. I know he loves me and he knows i love him. It just should be that simple..

Linda

Is he the one who is after Asian women?

Linda

You said you had ended the crap.

Have you?

Posted by Gemitati
Linda

Is he the one who is after Asian women?

yes, that's the one. He is attracted to them just for sex i think. Not for a relationship

Posted by Gemitati
Linda

You said you had ended the crap.

Have you?

Yes i ended it. I stayed at my sisters house for 3 days after i ended it. He contacted me first to ask when i was going to get my stuff out off the house. I replied that i haden't got a place to stay yet and asked if it was urgent to remove my stuff.

He replied that i could stay at his place in the rooms upstairs since it is a large house he is renting. Since i hadn't any other options for me and my 2 children, i accepted his offer.

I am living in his house since wednesday in the upper rooms...

Posted by CAPLOCKISBACK

Posted by Lindaaaatje
I found out that the cap i am living with is on whattsapp every 10 minutes and i don't trust this.. He didn't do it before just recently. Whenever i am not around at home, he is on whattsapp. How do i know that? I normally check his status on whattsapp to find out if he is coming home from work. To start diner. I know he always reads his messages in the car. 3 days ago i wanted to send him a message true whattsapp and saw he was online. I knew he was at work and had to do a lot. I found it strange and checked again after 10 minutes and again and again ....and saw he was almost always " online" or " " just read 2 minutes ago".

I didn't told him anything because i found it was stupid in the first place to even checking this.

But today, i checked again, same thing as yesterday, all day....

Changes? Well i don't know since he is usually standoffisch, he works a lot at the moment....

Don't know what i could/should do:

1. should i tell him? although i know upfront that he will not be pleased . He will be disappointed in me for checking.

2. do nothing and try not to stress out

3.Other option

I should say that my cap has venus and mars in aqua. When we got together, i thought he was single. But when we both said that we would go true with our relationship, he said: " i have some unfinisched business i have to end and he counted out loud 1, 2, 3....

He had a girl who he was with for 1.5 years. At the same time he had another girl the past 6 months and another the past 4 months.

I told him then : " how will i know you won't do that with me?" His answer was " that wasn't love i had with them".

Hope you can help me out and give me the advice or the slap....

Your moon in Scorpio....

Does he know you're on whatapp too ?

click to expand

yes, he knows

@CAPLOCKISBACK

why do you mention my scorpio moon? For the nossy part? The jealous part? lol

Posted by Lindaaaatje

Posted by Gemitati
Linda

You said you had ended the crap.

Have you?

Yes i ended it. I stayed at my sisters house for 3 days after i ended it. He contacted me first to ask when i was going to get my stuff out off the house. I replied that i haden't got a place to stay yet and asked if it was urgent to remove my stuff.

He replied that i could stay at his place in the rooms upstairs since it is a large house he is renting. Since i hadn't any other options for me and my 2 children, i accepted his offer.

I am living in his house since wednesday in the upper rooms...

click to expand

It must be not easy on you. What are your plans?

Wish you luck whatever you decide to do. Hugs

Posted by Skye
Gemitati you crack me up.

Made me think of this cute kid lol

Lol but WHY? 🙂

Just ask.

Literally say, Hey I've noticed you're on Whats app frequently. You got me curious! Who are you chatting with? Then smile sweetly.

Easy.

Now deciphering if he's being truthful will be harder 🙂

Someone who's honest will just tell you maybe even show you.