SagiSun, AquaRising, LeoMoon, LibraMars+Venus
@SunMoonStars
12 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 1685 · Topics: 200
Pushing people away
Posted by SunMoonStars
Do Caps push people away by starting fights over little things when you're depressed (financially strapped, jobless, mid life crises, etc.) or are you just not that interested?
ah - I'm gonna stick my neck out on a limb and say - no
I mean why would anyone want to purposely push someone away using a stupid excuse. Caps are realists so they would just say - GTFO.
Do you think perhaps the Cap is depressed because of some or all of these issues ? I mean "Hello" - the lights may be on but is there anyone home ?
if I'm misinterpreting I do apologize but that is what I got from what I just read
I have to get off DXP shortly but I will be back in the am
I found that their heats are in the right place. They try help you in a way that comes across controlling and negative.
No, I don't like fighting in a relationship- we should be able to talk through our issues in a non-confrontational way.
I won't waste time pushing someone away. I'll just tell them I'm out.
If I am struggling through something not related to you and I , I would try my best not to let it affect us. If it is, and you let me know that, I will try to find a way that it doesn't do so going forward.
I won't waste time pushing someone away. I'll just tell them I'm out.
If I am struggling through something not related to you and I , I would try my best not to let it affect us. If it is, and you let me know that, I will try to find a way that it doesn't do so going forward.
Very possible.
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.click to expand
Posted by Capri-sun? lol getting hot in here.Posted by Stinger408scorpPosted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I understand that. I was just saying the way the OP was posted I didn't interpret it the same way you did. That's all I meant
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OP, is this about the Cap you're dating or someone else?
Posted by AndalusiaThe one I was "seeing" no title on my end. We had a fight and we haven't contacted each other for 3 weeks except for a "Happy Bday" message he texted me. I sent back a thank you and that was it.
OP, is this about the Cap you're dating or someone else?
I'm thinking about moving on. Thoughts?
Posted by SunMoonStars
I'm thinking about moving on. Thoughts?
Yeah, do it. You've been hanging in there. It seems you've done your part.
Posted by SunMoonStarsDont know about cap guys . I can speak for myself. When i was seeing my then boyfriend now husband, after about a year of being with each other there were lot of fights ...many from my side. He got an impression that i am fighting on purpose . According to him that was my way of finding an excuse to breakup with him. And he thought i was not serious about him. That was not true even 1% . I did not want leave him. Somethings i didnt like and my anger just meant that nothing else .
Do Caps push people away by starting fights over little things when depressed (financially strapped, jobless, mid life crises, etc.)
or are they just not that interested?
Caps are smart people, so I find it hard to believe they don't realize when they are being overly negative and pushing someone away. Maybe I'm wrong though. Thoughts?
And yes i realised that someways i was being negative ...not that the other person was a saint then 😉 . Anyway there is always a scope for improvement 🙂
Posted by SunMoonStarsEvery couple is different ,but from what ever i have seen silent treatments never let a relationship last .Posted by AndalusiaThe one I was "seeing" no title on my end. We had a fight and we haven't contacted each other for 3 weeks except for a "Happy Bday" message he texted me. I sent back a thank you and that was it.
OP, is this about the Cap you're dating or someone else?
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Posted by SunMoonStarsDepends on the person. The cap I know seems to like telling me why he's depressed and he can be very talkative about it.
Do Caps push people away by starting fights over little things when depressed (financially strapped, jobless, mid life crises, etc.)
or are they just not that interested?
Caps are smart people, so I find it hard to believe they don't realize when they are being overly negative and pushing someone away. Maybe I'm wrong though. Thoughts?
Why do you think he's pushing you away? Other than fights
This post reminded me of my mom and dad :p my mom and dad are Sag and Cap too!
I don't think they want to pick up a fight.. Are they negative/distant or do they actually say things to pick up a fight.. ?? Negativity, saying things/worrying like its the end of the world, sitting there like a wall/cardboard is quite common, unresponsiveness is common..
Caps, IMO, are last ones to pick up fight, or instigate others. Unless you've pushed them too tooo far, it's usually scary, because they become frighteningly calm before unleashing their anger. You'll easily see it in their faces/being/that "fuckoff" stare and then they heartlessly show their anger. My mom thinks dad is trying to pick up fight based on what i wrote in above para...and sometimes she pushes him to anger, and then.... ?
I don't think they want to pick up a fight.. Are they negative/distant or do they actually say things to pick up a fight.. ?? Negativity, saying things/worrying like its the end of the world, sitting there like a wall/cardboard is quite common, unresponsiveness is common..
Caps, IMO, are last ones to pick up fight, or instigate others. Unless you've pushed them too tooo far, it's usually scary, because they become frighteningly calm before unleashing their anger. You'll easily see it in their faces/being/that "fuckoff" stare and then they heartlessly show their anger. My mom thinks dad is trying to pick up fight based on what i wrote in above para...and sometimes she pushes him to anger, and then.... ?
I just stop talking to u and disappear..
Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
click to expand
I used to do ?
Posted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
click to expand
Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
click to expand
Posted by Gem_from_VenusYea but if he doesn't wanna communicate then leave his ass alone he's giving you no option that's if he's not willing.Posted by Stinger408scorpYeah, but damn it, that's game playing. I hate games. They're stupid to me. Ain't we all adults here?Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
click to expand
Posted by Gem_from_VenusCould be punishment, attention, or mirroring the other persons actions.Posted by Stinger408scorpWhen you did it, why did you do it? I think he was trying to control or punish me the first...God, I don't know, however many times he did that. I have let him go more than once, and he always comes back. The last time I think he was trying to detach and get over me. Anyway, I think he thinks this disappearing act makes him more interesting to me, but it doesn't. I lose a little respect for him every time he does it, because I respect myself and have contempt for people who don't respect me back. I'm forgiving, but soon there will be no respect left. /shrugsPosted by Gem_from_VenusYea but if he doesn't wanna communicate then leave his ass alone he's giving you no option that's if he's not willing.Posted by Stinger408scorpYeah, but damn it, that's game playing. I hate games. They're stupid to me. Ain't we all adults here?Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
click to expand
Posted by Gem_from_VenusYour welcome I'm here to help remember ?Posted by Stinger408scorpThanks for the answer and for taking the heat for someone else. I woke up annoyed. 😉Posted by Gem_from_VenusCould be punishment, attention, or mirroring the other persons actions.Posted by Stinger408scorpWhen you did it, why did you do it? I think he was trying to control or punish me the first...God, I don't know, however many times he did that. I have let him go more than once, and he always comes back. The last time I think he was trying to detach and get over me. Anyway, I think he thinks this disappearing act makes him more interesting to me, but it doesn't. I lose a little respect for him every time he does it, because I respect myself and have contempt for people who don't respect me back. I'm forgiving, but soon there will be no respect left. /shrugsPosted by Gem_from_VenusYea but if he doesn't wanna communicate then leave his ass alone he's giving you no option that's if he's not willing.Posted by Stinger408scorpYeah, but damn it, that's game playing. I hate games. They're stupid to me. Ain't we all adults here?Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
click to expand
Posted by Gem_from_Venuslol I've done all those things you've mentioned and I still do sometimes but as soon as I realize that I'm doing It i completely try to stop.Posted by Stinger408scorpThanks for the answer and for taking the heat for someone else. I woke up annoyed. 😉Posted by Gem_from_VenusCould be punishment, attention, or mirroring the other persons actions.Posted by Stinger408scorpWhen you did it, why did you do it? I think he was trying to control or punish me the first...God, I don't know, however many times he did that. I have let him go more than once, and he always comes back. The last time I think he was trying to detach and get over me. Anyway, I think he thinks this disappearing act makes him more interesting to me, but it doesn't. I lose a little respect for him every time he does it, because I respect myself and have contempt for people who don't respect me back. I'm forgiving, but soon there will be no respect left. /shrugsPosted by Gem_from_VenusYea but if he doesn't wanna communicate then leave his ass alone he's giving you no option that's if he's not willing.Posted by Stinger408scorpYeah, but damn it, that's game playing. I hate games. They're stupid to me. Ain't we all adults here?Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
click to expand
Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpI can't decide what to do. I think I'll do nothing. I'm to the point where I fear he just wants to seek revenge on me anyway. No, I didn't do _that_. The situation is complicated, and I can't really talk about it. I will say that it might be a situation where if he admits to wanting to be with me, he loses. And he can't lose, so nobody gets to be happy. There's nothing I can do about that.Posted by Gem_from_Venuslol I've done all those things you've mentioned and I still do sometimes but as soon as I realize that I'm doing It i completely try to stop.Posted by Stinger408scorpThanks for the answer and for taking the heat for someone else. I woke up annoyed. 😉Posted by Gem_from_VenusCould be punishment, attention, or mirroring the other persons actions.Posted by Stinger408scorpWhen you did it, why did you do it? I think he was trying to control or punish me the first...God, I don't know, however many times he did that. I have let him go more than once, and he always comes back. The last time I think he was trying to detach and get over me. Anyway, I think he thinks this disappearing act makes him more interesting to me, but it doesn't. I lose a little respect for him every time he does it, because I respect myself and have contempt for people who don't respect me back. I'm forgiving, but soon there will be no respect left. /shrugsPosted by Gem_from_VenusYea but if he doesn't wanna communicate then leave his ass alone he's giving you no option that's if he's not willing.Posted by Stinger408scorpYeah, but damn it, that's game playing. I hate games. They're stupid to me. Ain't we all adults here?Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
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If constantly doing the same shit over and over the way I see it he doesn't care all that much cause if he does he will adjust.
Posted by Gem_from_VenusI know ill make that change if I care and willing to work things out.Posted by Stinger408scorpI can't decide what to do. I think I'll do nothing. I'm to the point where I fear he just wants to seek revenge on me anyway. No, I didn't do _that_. The situation is complicated, and I can't really talk about it. I will say that it might be a situation where if he admits to wanting to be with me, he loses. And he can't lose, so nobody gets to be happy. There's nothing I can do about that.Posted by Gem_from_Venuslol I've done all those things you've mentioned and I still do sometimes but as soon as I realize that I'm doing It i completely try to stop.Posted by Stinger408scorpThanks for the answer and for taking the heat for someone else. I woke up annoyed. 😉Posted by Gem_from_VenusCould be punishment, attention, or mirroring the other persons actions.Posted by Stinger408scorpWhen you did it, why did you do it? I think he was trying to control or punish me the first...God, I don't know, however many times he did that. I have let him go more than once, and he always comes back. The last time I think he was trying to detach and get over me. Anyway, I think he thinks this disappearing act makes him more interesting to me, but it doesn't. I lose a little respect for him every time he does it, because I respect myself and have contempt for people who don't respect me back. I'm forgiving, but soon there will be no respect left. /shrugsPosted by Gem_from_VenusYea but if he doesn't wanna communicate then leave his ass alone he's giving you no option that's if he's not willing.Posted by Stinger408scorpYeah, but damn it, that's game playing. I hate games. They're stupid to me. Ain't we all adults here?Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
click to expand
Posted by Gem_from_VenusTrust your gut anyways I always say if something's not right it usually is.Posted by Stinger408scorpI go back and forth between thinking he's head over heels in love with me and playing with me for fun. The fact that I still don't know is ridiculous. Either way, I'm a Gemini, and without communication, I die, so, gotta do what I gotta do. Thanks!Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpI can't decide what to do. I think I'll do nothing. I'm to the point where I fear he just wants to seek revenge on me anyway. No, I didn't do _that_. The situation is complicated, and I can't really talk about it. I will say that it might be a situation where if he admits to wanting to be with me, he loses. And he can't lose, so nobody gets to be happy. There's nothing I can do about that.Posted by Gem_from_Venuslol I've done all those things you've mentioned and I still do sometimes but as soon as I realize that I'm doing It i completely try to stop.Posted by Stinger408scorpThanks for the answer and for taking the heat for someone else. I woke up annoyed. 😉Posted by Gem_from_VenusCould be punishment, attention, or mirroring the other persons actions.Posted by Stinger408scorpWhen you did it, why did you do it? I think he was trying to control or punish me the first...God, I don't know, however many times he did that. I have let him go more than once, and he always comes back. The last time I think he was trying to detach and get over me. Anyway, I think he thinks this disappearing act makes him more interesting to me, but it doesn't. I lose a little respect for him every time he does it, because I respect myself and have contempt for people who don't respect me back. I'm forgiving, but soon there will be no respect left. /shrugsPosted by Gem_from_VenusYea but if he doesn't wanna communicate then leave his ass alone he's giving you no option that's if he's not willing.Posted by Stinger408scorpYeah, but damn it, that's game playing. I hate games. They're stupid to me. Ain't we all adults here?Posted by Stinger408scorpLol one thing that pisses me off is if I'm doing the silent treatment and the other person ignores it like she doesn't seem to care I get ? In the past lolPosted by Gem_from_Venuslol mirror the silent treatment he'll go crazy if he cares about you.Posted by Stinger408scorpGotcha. I'm dealing with a dude with Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. He's some kind of silent treatment ninja. Except that makes it sound good, and it's not good. :/Posted by Gem_from_VenusPosted by Stinger408scorpHold up, didn't I see you in the ask a Scorpio thread saying you do this to people? Is this one of those Scorpio double standard things? Currently dealing with that...finding it the opposite of amusing.Posted by Capri-sunIf a person goes silent on me with zero explanation it's a sign of disrespect.Posted by Stinger408scorpSee I would interpret starting a fight & silent treatment as 2 separate things
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
I used to do ?
If constantly doing the same shit over and over the way I see it he doesn't care all that much cause if he does he will adjust.click to expand
Depends on the person. The cap I know seems to like telling me why he's depressed and he can be very talkative about it.
Why do you think he's pushing you away? Other than fights
In my opinion, it would just be the fights which seem petty to me and he gets snappy at me.
He's not talkative, in fact, he seems to dislike being asked "How are you doing?" - he said it's because he's not doing great right now, so he doesn't have much to say.
Posted by cheekyfaerieAgreed that he's desperate and exasperated. His current life situation isn't helping us or him either.
I've done it. And I could see him doing it to you. Know we only hear one side, but it seems like you've been yo-yoing him for years. It's an act of desperation and exasperation and his patience is probably wearing thin. Not outta the realm of possibility.
Posted by ShadowcatI definitely show irritation to his moods (snapping at me). When someone comes at me for what I think is no good reason, I'll definitely defend myself.Posted by SunMoonStarsDid you show irritation at his moods? How did you respond to his depression?
Do Caps push people away by starting fights over little things when depressed (financially strapped, jobless, mid life crises, etc.)
or are they just not that interested?
Caps are smart people, so I find it hard to believe they don't realize when they are being overly negative and pushing someone away. Maybe I'm wrong though. Thoughts?
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His depression...I try to stay consistent, be there, act normal etc. However, I don't think any of that helps, I think he just wants to be alone?
Posted by cap..I see. Sounds similar to us. He has said in the past he never wants to end things and all couples fight.Posted by SunMoonStarsDont know about cap guys . I can speak for myself. When i was seeing my then boyfriend now husband, after about a year of being with each other there were lot of fights ...many from my side. He got an impression that i am fighting on purpose . According to him that was my way of finding an excuse to breakup with him. And he thought i was not serious about him. That was not true even 1% . I did not want leave him. Somethings i didnt like and my anger just meant that nothing else .
Do Caps push people away by starting fights over little things when depressed (financially strapped, jobless, mid life crises, etc.)
or are they just not that interested?
Caps are smart people, so I find it hard to believe they don't realize when they are being overly negative and pushing someone away. Maybe I'm wrong though. Thoughts?
And yes i realised that someways i was being negative ...not that the other person was a saint then 😉 . Anyway there is always a scope for improvement 🙂
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He has Mars in Aries, and I find that to be accurate to him. He's quick to anger/get irritated and lash out. With his Scorp Asc. it really appears like he's starting a fight.
Posted by RumiLHow does your mom push your dad too far? Caps are subtle imo and it's hard for Saggies to notice certain things or read between the lines.
This post reminded me of my mom and dad :p my mom and dad are Sag and Cap too!
I don't think they want to pick up a fight.. Are they negative/distant or do they actually say things to pick up a fight.. ?? Negativity, saying things/worrying like its the end of the world, sitting there like a wall/cardboard is quite common, unresponsiveness is common..
Caps, IMO, are last ones to pick up fight, or instigate others. Unless you've pushed them too tooo far, it's usually scary, because they become frighteningly calm before unleashing their anger. You'll easily see it in their faces/being/that "fuckoff" stare and then they heartlessly show their anger. My mom thinks dad is trying to pick up fight based on what i wrote in above para...and sometimes she pushes him to anger, and then.... ?
Did you show irritation at his moods? How did you respond to his depression?
I definitely show irritation to his moods (snapping at me). When someone comes at me for what I think is no good reason, I'll definitely defend myself.
His depression...I try to stay consistent, be there, act normal etc. However, I don't think any of that helps, I think he just wants to be alone?
You're fully within your right to be irritated at him snapping at you.
By his moods I meant his darker ones(sadness or depression related). And doubtful, when I'm depressed, it just matters to me that someone's there. Are you visibly affected by his depression? If so, he might just think that it's better off for both of you if he keeps his distance
Yes, we are both affected. I think it goes like this most of the time... he's depressed, crap mood, lashes out at me (I'm not perfect, and main reason is because I won't give him a title), I get really pissed off, and storm out.
Am I crazy to think that we should both be in a "good place" before starting an official relationship? And stop fighting so much first?
If his life isn't in order its VERY possible he just want to be alone right now.
OP, I don't mean to be rude or project; you seem very sensible and sweet.
But sweet Jesus Lord if you and your dude don't remind me of my older sister and her boyfriend.
Let. It. Go. Do you really want to spend the NEXT three years of your life on here asking why he is the way he is?
There IS such a thing as incompatibility. Sometimes, no matter how much you care for someone, it just isn't meant to be anything more than a learning experience.
But sweet Jesus Lord if you and your dude don't remind me of my older sister and her boyfriend.
Let. It. Go. Do you really want to spend the NEXT three years of your life on here asking why he is the way he is?
There IS such a thing as incompatibility. Sometimes, no matter how much you care for someone, it just isn't meant to be anything more than a learning experience.
Obviously I'm not a Cap, but if someone I was dating pulled the same stuff for the same amount of time as what has previously been mentioned, I would have cut them out and blocked them from my life years ago.
Try this
Give him the title he wants
Be his gf
Watch the mood change
One of you needs to make the decision (he isn't going to)
If I were in his shoes and I wanted the title and you wouldn't give it to be I'd be depressed and snappy too. I'd be thinking she wants me, she likes me, I want her, why won't she be my gf
Give him the title he wants
Be his gf
Watch the mood change
One of you needs to make the decision (he isn't going to)
If I were in his shoes and I wanted the title and you wouldn't give it to be I'd be depressed and snappy too. I'd be thinking she wants me, she likes me, I want her, why won't she be my gf
Posted by CAPRILICIOUSlol no goodPosted by Stinger408scorp"...was seeing..."??
I'll chime i don't thinks it's just caps in general but the one I was seeing did use hot and cold silent treatment or whatever out of nowhere so I'm guessing it's a yes.
What happened?click to expand
Posted by Capri-sunYes absolutely agree with you on:
Just a side note, I don't think most caps do casual well, so in my mind, I don't understand why someone wants to be involved with me (communicate, be around me, spend time together, etc) if we are not together. I'm an in or out type of person. And if you're out, all the other things are just wasting both of our time.
He sounds irritated by that, like you're there...you're just not really there if you understand what I'm saying. Then add his personal issues, throw in a bit of you know his situation yet are still asking him how he's doing...
That's the snappy attitude you're getting plus he doesn't like to argue.
So you view it as pushing you away. In reality he might be trying to create distance to keep from lashing out because he kniws he's in a pissy mood. If you don't give him space he will keep snapping, js.
1) Caps don't do casual well
2) He needs space when he's in a pissy mood
Posted by AndalusiaThank you, I try to be sensible and sweet. No, I don't want to spend the next 3 years on here asking about him 🙂
OP, I don't mean to be rude or project; you seem very sensible and sweet.
But sweet Jesus Lord if you and your dude don't remind me of my older sister and her boyfriend.
Let. It. Go. Do you really want to spend the NEXT three years of your life on here asking why he is the way he is?
There IS such a thing as incompatibility. Sometimes, no matter how much you care for someone, it just isn't meant to be anything more than a learning experience.
Posted by SamCancerGirlNeither one of us is contacting each other. Well, except the Happy Bday text he sent me. I'm not going to contact him as the last fight was a bad one. Maybe he thinks the Bday text was his way of "reaching out"?
Try this
Give him the title he wants
Be his gf
Watch the mood change
One of you needs to make the decision (he isn't going to)
If I were in his shoes and I wanted the title and you wouldn't give it to be I'd be depressed and snappy too. I'd be thinking she wants me, she likes me, I want her, why won't she be my gf
So, 2 ways I think this will go.
1. We have no contact, except for a Merry Christmas/Happy New Year message from him.
2. He will contact me 2-3 months later but I will have moved on.
Posted by Capri-sun🤗🤗Posted by RumiL
This post reminded me of my mom and dad :p my mom and dad are Sag and Cap too!
I don't think they want to pick up a fight.. Are they negative/distant or do they actually say things to pick up a fight.. ?? Negativity, saying things/worrying like its the end of the world, sitting there like a wall/cardboard is quite common, unresponsiveness is common..
Caps, IMO, are last ones to pick up fight, or instigate others. Unless you've pushed them too tooo far, it's usually scary, because they become frighteningly calm before unleashing their anger. You'll easily see it in their faces/being/that "fuckoff" stare and then they heartlessly show their anger. My mom thinks dad is trying to pick up fight based on what i wrote in above para...and sometimes she pushes him to anger, and then.... ?
RUMIL!!!!!
🤗
I MISSED YOU!!!! 😄 😄 😄
click to expand
You came back!!! Thankyouuu ❤ I missed you too.. Capri, why did you delete back then??(i think you are the old member??) 😢 how are you? :-)
Posted by ShadowcatI try :p 🤗 how are you Shadowcat?? 😄Posted by RumiL
This post reminded me of my mom and dad :p my mom and dad are Sag and Cap too!
I don't think they want to pick up a fight.. Are they negative/distant or do they actually say things to pick up a fight.. ?? Negativity, saying things/worrying like its the end of the world, sitting there like a wall/cardboard is quite common, unresponsiveness is common..
Caps, IMO, are last ones to pick up fight, or instigate others. Unless you've pushed them too tooo far, it's usually scary, because they become frighteningly calm before unleashing their anger. You'll easily see it in their faces/being/that "fuckoff" stare and then they heartlessly show their anger. My mom thinks dad is trying to pick up fight based on what i wrote in above para...and sometimes she pushes him to anger, and then.... ?
#thecapwhisperer
click to expand
Posted by SunMoonStarsHmm.. Its true, Caps are subtle but, i feel sag sign misunderstands them/their ways.. Just like Sag's ways end up getting misunderstood by Cap.Posted by RumiLHow does your mom push your dad too far? Caps are subtle imo and it's hard for Saggies to notice certain things or read between the lines.
This post reminded me of my mom and dad :p my mom and dad are Sag and Cap too!
I don't think they want to pick up a fight.. Are they negative/distant or do they actually say things to pick up a fight.. ?? Negativity, saying things/worrying like its the end of the world, sitting there like a wall/cardboard is quite common, unresponsiveness is common..
Caps, IMO, are last ones to pick up fight, or instigate others. Unless you've pushed them too tooo far, it's usually scary, because they become frighteningly calm before unleashing their anger. You'll easily see it in their faces/being/that "fuckoff" stare and then they heartlessly show their anger. My mom thinks dad is trying to pick up fight based on what i wrote in above para...and sometimes she pushes him to anger, and then.... ?
click to expand
IDK what else to say 😢 .. Some patience, trust on both parties would work..
My mom pushes dad too far by pestering him 😄 ..she starts getting more fiery, ..mom jokes and tries to cheer him up, but sometimes, after a while, it starts dampening her spirit and she loses patience and gets angry.(idk how to explain the way she talks) My dad is still there calm, untouched, not budging. Sometimes she's understanding..sometimes dad is understanding and cheers up too.
I think it should work both ways, because Sag originally get irritated by anything negative for too long, Cap could see it and try. Sag too, can see that worrying(yes, like the world is ending and becoming a block of ice) is part of Caps nature and not let it exhaust her and continue being her positive influence.. No one worries like a Cap, as no one can be as positive/cheerful as Sag, but both test each others patience ? ?
I'll come back to write more
Posted by Capri-sunYea, i thought it was youuu! 🙂 .. I'm good.. I'm done with school, but I'm studying :-)Posted by RumiLPosted by Capri-sun🤗🤗Posted by RumiL
This post reminded me of my mom and dad :p my mom and dad are Sag and Cap too!
I don't think they want to pick up a fight.. Are they negative/distant or do they actually say things to pick up a fight.. ?? Negativity, saying things/worrying like its the end of the world, sitting there like a wall/cardboard is quite common, unresponsiveness is common..
Caps, IMO, are last ones to pick up fight, or instigate others. Unless you've pushed them too tooo far, it's usually scary, because they become frighteningly calm before unleashing their anger. You'll easily see it in their faces/being/that "fuckoff" stare and then they heartlessly show their anger. My mom thinks dad is trying to pick up fight based on what i wrote in above para...and sometimes she pushes him to anger, and then.... ?
RUMIL!!!!!
🤗
I MISSED YOU!!!! 😄 😄 😄
You came back!!! Thankyouuu ❤ I missed you too.. Capri, why did you delete back then??(i think you are the old member??) 😢 how are you? :-)
I was foreverloveme. My schedule got really busy and I just needed a break from dxp. Next time I will try the "logout" button instead of delete account lol 🙂
I'm good, and how are you? How's school?
click to expand
You say, how's life, work, everything?🙂
Posted by SunMoonStarsPosted by SamCancerGirlNeither one of us is contacting each other. Well, except the Happy Bday text he sent me. I'm not going to contact him as the last fight was a bad one. Maybe he thinks the Bday text was his way of "reaching out"?
Try this
Give him the title he wants
Be his gf
Watch the mood change
One of you needs to make the decision (he isn't going to)
If I were in his shoes and I wanted the title and you wouldn't give it to be I'd be depressed and snappy too. I'd be thinking she wants me, she likes me, I want her, why won't she be my gf
So, 2 ways I think this will go.
1. We have no contact, except for a Merry Christmas/Happy New Year message from him.
2. He will contact me 2-3 months later but I will have moved on.
click to expand
There's a option 3. It doesn't matter who reaches out next. Text him and say you want him to be your bf. Him texting happy birthday was his way of reaching out.
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