Rayzed
@Rayzed
15 Years
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Reading These Threads Has Me Sccuuurreeddd!!! (Page 3)
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Posted by kstarks2Posted by kstarks2
Capricorn Sun / Venus in Aqua
um I just outed myself 😢 YIKES!click to expand
It's all right! At least you're not that evil as people believe you are, babe. You just say it like it is and good on you 🙂
forwards? that is sooooooooooooo 1998
Well well...I see Nat's hanging out!
What's up, lady? 🙂
Did you stick with my dietary suggestions from way back when? (Yes I remember that discussion!)
What's up, lady? 🙂
Did you stick with my dietary suggestions from way back when? (Yes I remember that discussion!)
is was great:
I.
Posted by kstarks2
Him: what you doing today?
You: I'm going to that school thing in your area...Oh yeah, did you still wanna meet up after?
Him: Yeah sure...of course.
*End of discussion*
II.
But this mess here.......
Posted by kstarks2Totally turned me off. WTF?
Throw him off..and DON'T have TIME...DON'T SEE HIM. :p lol
*time goes by after
You: Hey Cap, sorry something came up that I have to do... Lets hang out this Saturday for drinks?
click to expand
III.
Natch, I agree with this, but from a different perspective. The friends thing was just too indifferent if you really like the man. First, it may backfire...he may like the attention and you feel left out. Second, your "girls" may try to flirt with him as well. Yes, they may not be able to resist. Third, he's the only guy among a few women laughing at his jokes or him buying the drinks. Male caps are gentlemen. If he shows up in a situation like that, he'll pick up the tab.
Picture this: You've told these woman how this man is turning you on. They are curious -- because you can pick 'em and this guy is a challenge. Everybody's drinking. Music is banging at the club. Bodies grooving & moving seductively at the bar all around him. He's being his usual suave, warm and fuzzy self. Oh, but he isn't your man, yet...
Too much catnip?
"When it comes to men, you don't have any women friends". ~ Dorothy Dandridge
Posted by kstarks2
(NOTICED I did NOT include your "friends" -- Why? Because why would you invite him to hang out with you and your girls— LOL. Does he seem like a dude who would hang out with a bunch of girls or strangers? LMAO. That's probably what he's thinking. And moreover, he's probably feeling like he's not ready to be scrutinized by your friends yet... YOU need to be alone with him to get to know him. NOT your friends.)
Natch, I agree with this, but from a different perspective. The friends thing was just too indifferent if you really like the man. First, it may backfire...he may like the attention and you feel left out. Second, your "girls" may try to flirt with him as well. Yes, they may not be able to resist. Third, he's the only guy among a few women laughing at his jokes or him buying the drinks. Male caps are gentlemen. If he shows up in a situation like that, he'll pick up the tab.
Picture this: You've told these woman how this man is turning you on. They are curious -- because you can pick 'em and this guy is a challenge. Everybody's drinking. Music is banging at the club. Bodies grooving & moving seductively at the bar all around him. He's being his usual suave, warm and fuzzy self. Oh, but he isn't your man, yet...
Too much catnip?
"When it comes to men, you don't have any women friends". ~ Dorothy Dandridge
Natch, I dated and was engaged to a Cappy with Venus and Moon in Sag. He is rock solid and was always geniune with me. No nonsense and no holds barred. He is very sensitive and very spiritual. He's charming without being cunning about it, it's just him. People like him. Men respect him and woman adore him, but you couldn't convince him of the later in a million years. Not all venus/moon saggy cap men are the same. Don't blow it with this guy or waste your precious time by even playing his game if you have grown from that place during your life or if he hasn't given you reason to mistrust his geniune interest in you.
He may be full of himself, but at least he told you what he thinks. Do the same. You're a beautiful woman. Be smart.
You say what you mean and he needs to know that you take your time seriously, and he will do well to honor that. If you have allotted time to do something together, there is follow-through or else there's consequences of you not taking him seriously enough to even return a text. I'm not saying be mean, just don't act all blase about something like your time. I would have done just what Kay said in her first post I quoted. That was spot on. It showed your interest. I would have expected to meet him somewhere or at his place, whatever was decided. If he wasn't there, I'd call him and ask him was he on his way. If he gave some lame excuse like he forgot or didnt think I was serious, or didn't answer (which I don't think he would have), then it wouldn't be so easy to get another date with me. Not because I wasn't available, but because I wouldn't want to go. Truth.
Games can be fun, in their place. You take control. The minute he sees that you do what you want to do because you want to do it, (and not because you are playing hard to get), he will follow along with your program -- if he wants you. He WILL pursue you. The games could make you look wishy-washy and out of control. And that's not a good place to be in any situation.
He may be full of himself, but at least he told you what he thinks. Do the same. You're a beautiful woman. Be smart.
You say what you mean and he needs to know that you take your time seriously, and he will do well to honor that. If you have allotted time to do something together, there is follow-through or else there's consequences of you not taking him seriously enough to even return a text. I'm not saying be mean, just don't act all blase about something like your time. I would have done just what Kay said in her first post I quoted. That was spot on. It showed your interest. I would have expected to meet him somewhere or at his place, whatever was decided. If he wasn't there, I'd call him and ask him was he on his way. If he gave some lame excuse like he forgot or didnt think I was serious, or didn't answer (which I don't think he would have), then it wouldn't be so easy to get another date with me. Not because I wasn't available, but because I wouldn't want to go. Truth.
Games can be fun, in their place. You take control. The minute he sees that you do what you want to do because you want to do it, (and not because you are playing hard to get), he will follow along with your program -- if he wants you. He WILL pursue you. The games could make you look wishy-washy and out of control. And that's not a good place to be in any situation.
typo *...convince him of later = latter
Posted by VirgoHero
Well well...I see Nat's hanging out!
What's up, lady? 🙂
Did you stick with my dietary suggestions from way back when? (Yes I remember that discussion!)
Virgo!!! Hey you! How are you? I am doing great. YES, I did stick with the dietary suggestions. In fact, in the last 10 months, I have lost about 80 pounds!! A complete lifetlye change!! Thanks so much for the wise, wise words. 🙂
Lol.
Re: Friends - I am not going to bring him to drinks with my friends even if he asks. Not because I am scared of flirting on either part but because, at this point, him and I need to spend a little more alone time before all that. I totally agree with KStarks that if ANY of my friends as much as bat ONE eyelash at any guy who I am dating their ass will be grass! LMAO! I dont play that shit! Not because of the guy but because of the principals of friendship and loyalty. On the other hand, at this early in the game, I do not put anything past him. Obviously, I HOPE he would not do any shady mess like that, but who knows. If he were to flirt or try to talk to one of my friends, at least I would find out early on that he is not worth shit. Lol. I agree with Cappyluv, about utilizing my friends (to a certain extent) as an additional method to judge and evaluate the men a person dates. I do have some friends who give terrible advice and have very poor judgment when it comes to men. It is demonstrated not only in the horrendous advice they have given to me and others in the past but also in their own personal lives. I love em', but I do not value their opinion much when it comes to men. However, I DO have a core group of friends who I trust dearly. They have yet to steer me wrong. They are fab at picking up on things that only an objective (outside looking in) eye can pick upon. So, he will be meeting my friends at some point...just not quite yet.
Re: Friends - I am not going to bring him to drinks with my friends even if he asks. Not because I am scared of flirting on either part but because, at this point, him and I need to spend a little more alone time before all that. I totally agree with KStarks that if ANY of my friends as much as bat ONE eyelash at any guy who I am dating their ass will be grass! LMAO! I dont play that shit! Not because of the guy but because of the principals of friendship and loyalty. On the other hand, at this early in the game, I do not put anything past him. Obviously, I HOPE he would not do any shady mess like that, but who knows. If he were to flirt or try to talk to one of my friends, at least I would find out early on that he is not worth shit. Lol. I agree with Cappyluv, about utilizing my friends (to a certain extent) as an additional method to judge and evaluate the men a person dates. I do have some friends who give terrible advice and have very poor judgment when it comes to men. It is demonstrated not only in the horrendous advice they have given to me and others in the past but also in their own personal lives. I love em', but I do not value their opinion much when it comes to men. However, I DO have a core group of friends who I trust dearly. They have yet to steer me wrong. They are fab at picking up on things that only an objective (outside looking in) eye can pick upon. So, he will be meeting my friends at some point...just not quite yet.
Re: Games - I actually agree with everyone. Must be the Libra in my chart. Ha! I think that men DO play games. Whether it be on a conscious or subconscious level. However, I also agree with Cappyluv that maybe its a matter of semantics. Whatever you want to call it - games, habits, ways of dealing with the dating process. Whatever. The tips that KStarks has given me are tips and strategies that I feel can be very useful with ANY man. These are simply good practices for women to adopt when dating. I also agree with Path and PD that if MOST men feel that a women is trying to play games with them, (unless they are a complete douche) they will be turned off. This might be more so applicable to Caps but I think it can also be used as a general rule. I also agree with Purple Diamond and Path that the patterns and actions in the relationship should be natural and fluid. That is most definitely right. However, cant these suggestion that KStarks has given become natural for me? The more I practice them, the more they will become like second nature. Eventually becoming the way that I proceed in dating. I think the trick in this specific case is not allowing him to see that these are not natural habits of mine just yet. I need to get on my grind and incorporate these methods of how to deal in a relationship. I read an excerpt from this book about closing the deal with mean similarily to how a sales person closes a deal in sales. A lot of powerful tid bits in the book correspond to what KStarks and Cappyluv has said. It's about faking it until you make it. Act the part until these practices become just who you are as a woman. Someone who is not always available. Not because she is out on some malicious power trip, but simply because she has a life of her own.
Purple Diamond — I agree with you completely . I do have a fabulous life (sans Cap or any other man for the matter). I think for me, I can easily get CAUGHT UP. Regardless, of my meditating, working out, fab career, fab friends, fab family, hobbies etc. I can get swept off my feet quickly. I did not realize this about myself a year or two ago. I did not realize my tendency to over compensate and do/give too much too soon. I looked at it as being nice to a guy I care about not realizing what I was doing not only to the relationship but to MYSELF as well. With the help of Tiki, I was actually able to open my eyes to this truth and begin to examine WHY I was I like that so that I could correct the issue. In short, old habit die hard and slow. I have gotten MUCH better. MUCH, believe you me. Lol. However, it is a wok in progress. I am constantly learning new things about myself in relationship to the way I interact with men and life in general. This is why I love this board. It helps me to stay focused. To REMEMBER all the things that I ALREADY KNOW deep down, but sometimes have the tendency to conveniently forget. Lol.
As far as the Libra is concerned. It is funny that you bring that joker up. Lol. Yes, you are right, that relationship is fairly recent and I have not completely healed form that situation. I however, I am fully aware of the mistakes that I made while with him. I think I have mentioned before, I began to add up all my mistakes, his mistakes and fully evaluate the relationship MONTHS before I even spoke to him about our problems. As KStarks says, Scorps always have a plot. Lmao. In that case, I did. I made sure that I was very clear on where him and I stood before even speaking to him about anything. When it came down to the break up, I had already began to emotionally detach from him as I knew beforehand that this was going to happen. I prepared myself. I resolved myself to the reality that (at least right now) we are not going to work. Especially, not living together. Now, its funny you bring that situation up because he called me the yesterday and said that he had started seeing a therapist for some of the issues that we broke up over. He thanked me for bringing some of his issues to light. This morning, I felt myself missing him. Really missing him. I was almost tempted to call him on my drive to work, but decided it was not a good idea. All natural I presume. So yes, I still most definitely have some feelings for him. Especially, as a friend. I want nothing but the best for him! However, I KNOW beyond a shadow of doubt that he is not the man for me??_at least not right now??_if ever. I do take the Cap seriously and obviously see potential in him, I am also thankful for him because if nothing happens more than a valuable friendship, I??ll be good, in the end. I hate to say it and I hope that it does not sound bad, but he has provided a great distraction for me. He has served as reminder that there are plenty of fish in the sea. I used to dread dating and one of the things that I was dreading the most, on the heels of my break up with Libra, was getting back into the dating game. Meeting people, etc. Cap has made this process fun for me and not as difficult as I thought it would be. Not sure if I am making sense??_.
Natural25, I totally wish you the best. 🙂
As I said, I used a different perspective for the "friends" soiree. I tend to view things from a broad frame of mind.
I only offer you my opinion from my experience with a beautiful cappy man who I lost due to my own ignorance of how serious he was about me -- which was based on not really understanding how a man so young could be so focused and geniune. Some men are ahead of their time (age).
Eighteen years later, my scorpio found me and with him from the start, I paid attention so I could learn things in realtime without presumption. I offer you what I found successful through my journey as a married woman as well.
And I agree with PurpleDiamond. If a person has goals, whether male or female, it's smart to formulate a plan of action to acheive it. In the area of romantic relationships, I don't think "game" is the proper word for it (sorry, K, and I do get the analogy. I read it somewhere a few years ago). For the most part "game" has a negative, undermiming paradigm, I think. "Plan" sounds more positive and commands a certain measure of respect. Whereas "game" could be insulting and disrespectful.
Natch, your guy said he had a plan -- that is based on a goal. Just sounds mature to me, not a game.
As I said, I used a different perspective for the "friends" soiree. I tend to view things from a broad frame of mind.
I only offer you my opinion from my experience with a beautiful cappy man who I lost due to my own ignorance of how serious he was about me -- which was based on not really understanding how a man so young could be so focused and geniune. Some men are ahead of their time (age).
Eighteen years later, my scorpio found me and with him from the start, I paid attention so I could learn things in realtime without presumption. I offer you what I found successful through my journey as a married woman as well.
And I agree with PurpleDiamond. If a person has goals, whether male or female, it's smart to formulate a plan of action to acheive it. In the area of romantic relationships, I don't think "game" is the proper word for it (sorry, K, and I do get the analogy. I read it somewhere a few years ago). For the most part "game" has a negative, undermiming paradigm, I think. "Plan" sounds more positive and commands a certain measure of respect. Whereas "game" could be insulting and disrespectful.
Natch, your guy said he had a plan -- that is based on a goal. Just sounds mature to me, not a game.
I dunno why I don't have much to say but Natural make sure your not centering a huge amount of your mental thoughts around this one man, granted your fresh out of a relationship and that is a sure sign that this man is not only a distraction but he's a back up plan for you not having to get back out there in the dating scene, your giving this guy way more credit than he deserves way too soon. Your almost fantasizing this guy, not sure if your aware of that or not.
Your wounds are fresh and sometimes (I'm not implying your doing this) but sometimes we women use men to avoid our real feelings, you have not had time to process your feelings over the break up and even when you missed libra you shut down and wouldn't allow yourself to feel vulnerable over this man and reach out to him which is a sure sign that your avoiding your true feelings b/c you got this Cap in your life, libra clearly respects you and your opinions about him and he most likely needs a bit more closure and to be honest if he's actually seeking professional help, that's not something most men do, take responsibility for their own behavior and get help. I'm sure libra would be hurt that you have officially closed the door and found a new man...OUCH
My suggestion is to stay single for awhile. Think about shifting some of the attention off of this Cap and give yourself some much needed alone time, don't be the proverbial yo yo girl that jumps in and out relationships because she can't cope with her own feelings so she has a back up plan to avoid dealing with the hard stuff.
Eventually whatever your avoiding emotionally will surface, right now your in the honeymoon phase were your hyper focused on this Cap but eventually the new good feelings will subside and you will still have to deal with the loss of your libra and you may even find that you don't really like the Cap dude all that much b/c he was a mere distraction from the loss of someone you really cared about.
You haven't really got out there and got your feet wet if your not dating anyone else besides the Cap, your actually depending on the Cap to save you from the dreaded doom of having to face the cold cruel world of dating. So don't kid yourself, some scorp women are good at pretending and good at hypnotizing themselves to believe in a better more fairy tale version of reality.
Your wounds are fresh and sometimes (I'm not implying your doing this) but sometimes we women use men to avoid our real feelings, you have not had time to process your feelings over the break up and even when you missed libra you shut down and wouldn't allow yourself to feel vulnerable over this man and reach out to him which is a sure sign that your avoiding your true feelings b/c you got this Cap in your life, libra clearly respects you and your opinions about him and he most likely needs a bit more closure and to be honest if he's actually seeking professional help, that's not something most men do, take responsibility for their own behavior and get help. I'm sure libra would be hurt that you have officially closed the door and found a new man...OUCH
My suggestion is to stay single for awhile. Think about shifting some of the attention off of this Cap and give yourself some much needed alone time, don't be the proverbial yo yo girl that jumps in and out relationships because she can't cope with her own feelings so she has a back up plan to avoid dealing with the hard stuff.
Eventually whatever your avoiding emotionally will surface, right now your in the honeymoon phase were your hyper focused on this Cap but eventually the new good feelings will subside and you will still have to deal with the loss of your libra and you may even find that you don't really like the Cap dude all that much b/c he was a mere distraction from the loss of someone you really cared about.
You haven't really got out there and got your feet wet if your not dating anyone else besides the Cap, your actually depending on the Cap to save you from the dreaded doom of having to face the cold cruel world of dating. So don't kid yourself, some scorp women are good at pretending and good at hypnotizing themselves to believe in a better more fairy tale version of reality.
The reality is...It's too soon to be this focused on a new man and the inevitable end is you not only losing your libra and not dealing with any of the feelings that come with that loss you will find yourself dealing with another loss which will be your Cap if you don't handle things properly....Are you seriously mentally prepared to go through that?
What concerns me is that your not allowing yourself time to process your hurt and disappointment and b/c your not allowing time for that it's going to come back and bite you in the ass and force you to acknowledge and deal with it.
What concerns me is that your not allowing yourself time to process your hurt and disappointment and b/c your not allowing time for that it's going to come back and bite you in the ass and force you to acknowledge and deal with it.
Posted by PurpleDiamond
Agree 100% with Tiki
And its funny she says you probably will realize you're not really into Cap because that is the impression I get that you're really not into him but he's the 1st guy to come along to show you some attention and its like yay, I had a man come my way quick so I still got it. Bump Libra there is another man already vying for my effection when in reality like Tiki said you're just happy you're able to escape your true feelings through him. None of this has anything to do with Cap and everything to do with you not having to face the feeling of you feeling like a failure since things didn't work out with Libra. You needed the confidence and ego boost and you've been able to get a little of it from Cap and its keeping you "distracted" so you don't have to address the elephant in the room which is your feelings and failed relationship.
I wouldn't be so quick to write Libra off especially with him activetly trying to do something about the hurt/pain he caused you. I mean you can't really ask a guy for more than that seriously. You're using Cap to babysit your ego/pride because acknowledging your emotions regarding Libra and that relationship will not be pretty and you know it. However escaping is not going to make it go away. Like Tiki said you're going to have to deal with it 1 way or another but jumping from man to man is not the solution.
So true and to add to PD's statement....I know you put some emotional distance between yourself and libra before the break but that's a defense mechanism that's not actually allowing yourself to feel and grieve over the loss, it's more a preparation period to adjust, come to terms and transition back into being single, it's like a defense mechanism to block out the heavy emotions that come with letting someone go, the feelings are still there and it was showing when you felt the need to call him b/c you missed him but you put your defenses back up, scorps don't just move in with a man, break up and cut off feelings, scorps are not that black and white emotionally like me lol.
Posted by CappyyLuv30
Yea, I disagree with pathfinder. My friends meet my love interest early on. They are the eyes that see what I don't...like my little spies lol. My friends wouldn't flirt or show their interest to the guy because well, then they wouldn't be part of my circle. I learned early in life that you MUST choose your audience wisely. On the contrary, my friends may start questioning the guy and be all "if you hurt her, I'll kick your ass" which of course I have to then be like "simmer down guys, not yet, put the gun down, wait" lol.
So you disagree with my entire posts or just about the friends scenario?
LOL
The friends scenario I posted was playing devil's advocate. Most were saying he wouldn't show up because guys wouldn't want to meet up with his "intended" within the audience of her friends. I was simply painting another picture. If one knows one's friends wouldn't behave that way, then it's a moot point, of course.
Dam you Tiki and Purple!!! Couldn't you guys just allow me to be in my fantasy world!?!? Hahaha!
Seriously, you are both right. However, Cap is not the first to show me attention outside of Libra. I have had quite a few suitors here and there. If one thing I learned from Tiki, never shut all doors. However, I completely understand what both of you are saying. Yes, I suppose I have kind of stopped myself from —feeling.?? During the last few months of my relationship with Libra, I cried SO MUCH. I guess now (like the song says) I am all cried out. I have not allowed myself to really mourn the Libra because I don't want to hurt over him anymore. I suppose no one wants to hurt, right. Lol. But I do realize that sometimes it is a necessary evil in order to fully get over everything. Ugh! This shit sucks!
I have not counted Libra out completely. I have not made a decision to NEVER be open to dating him again when and if he gets his issues together. I just know that for right now, it's best that we not be together. Otherwise, I would end up hating him and did/do not want that. He is SUCH a great guy. SUCH a great guy. It is unfortunate that he has these issues that plagued the relationship so greatly.
So yes, I guess I am using the Cap to ease the pain. Rightly or wrongly. However, I DO think (so far) that he is a cool guy. Like I said earlier, it is still very soon and who knows what he has up his sleeve. I really don't have any serious expectations for him and I. So far, I like spending time with him. However, I would not be devastated if we just became friends. At least??_I dont think. Ha!
This is what I will do. I will continue to talk/date Cap sloooowwwwllly. I will take Tiki??s advice and not expend so much energy on him, although, I am having a lot of fun with it. Ha! I will focus on me. Allow myself to —feel?? more. Allow myself time. Take it easy — day by day.
Again, this shit sucks! Lol.
Seriously, you are both right. However, Cap is not the first to show me attention outside of Libra. I have had quite a few suitors here and there. If one thing I learned from Tiki, never shut all doors. However, I completely understand what both of you are saying. Yes, I suppose I have kind of stopped myself from —feeling.?? During the last few months of my relationship with Libra, I cried SO MUCH. I guess now (like the song says) I am all cried out. I have not allowed myself to really mourn the Libra because I don't want to hurt over him anymore. I suppose no one wants to hurt, right. Lol. But I do realize that sometimes it is a necessary evil in order to fully get over everything. Ugh! This shit sucks!
I have not counted Libra out completely. I have not made a decision to NEVER be open to dating him again when and if he gets his issues together. I just know that for right now, it's best that we not be together. Otherwise, I would end up hating him and did/do not want that. He is SUCH a great guy. SUCH a great guy. It is unfortunate that he has these issues that plagued the relationship so greatly.
So yes, I guess I am using the Cap to ease the pain. Rightly or wrongly. However, I DO think (so far) that he is a cool guy. Like I said earlier, it is still very soon and who knows what he has up his sleeve. I really don't have any serious expectations for him and I. So far, I like spending time with him. However, I would not be devastated if we just became friends. At least??_I dont think. Ha!
This is what I will do. I will continue to talk/date Cap sloooowwwwllly. I will take Tiki??s advice and not expend so much energy on him, although, I am having a lot of fun with it. Ha! I will focus on me. Allow myself to —feel?? more. Allow myself time. Take it easy — day by day.
Again, this shit sucks! Lol.
"So yes, I guess I am using the Cap to ease the pain. Rightly or wrongly. However, I DO think (so far) that he is a cool guy. Like I said earlier, it is still very soon and who knows what he has up his sleeve. I really don't have any serious expectations for him and I. So far, I like spending time with him. However, I would not be devastated if we just became friends. At least??_I dont think. Ha!
This is what I will do. I will continue to talk/date Cap sloooowwwwllly. I will take Tiki??s advice and not expend so much energy on him, although, I am having a lot of fun with it. Ha! I will focus on me. Allow myself to —feel?? more. Allow myself time. Take it easy — day by day.
Again, this shit sucks! Lol."
LOL
Keep them feet on the ground Natural, don't get caught up in these mind games with Cap b/c you won't win but he will get inside your head and f*ck with your head, make you fall in love, have sex with you, pull your heart strings and make you his love slave...Jus saying
Good luck...
And try to be as genuine as possible and a bit more transparent emotionally as to not get into power conflicts, you will never control a cap, so try to be as genuine and natural as you possibly can without looking and acting like a lovesick doormat.
This is what I will do. I will continue to talk/date Cap sloooowwwwllly. I will take Tiki??s advice and not expend so much energy on him, although, I am having a lot of fun with it. Ha! I will focus on me. Allow myself to —feel?? more. Allow myself time. Take it easy — day by day.
Again, this shit sucks! Lol."
LOL
Keep them feet on the ground Natural, don't get caught up in these mind games with Cap b/c you won't win but he will get inside your head and f*ck with your head, make you fall in love, have sex with you, pull your heart strings and make you his love slave...Jus saying
Good luck...
And try to be as genuine as possible and a bit more transparent emotionally as to not get into power conflicts, you will never control a cap, so try to be as genuine and natural as you possibly can without looking and acting like a lovesick doormat.
I failed to mention that you look great!! I thought you looked a lot slimmer but I wasn't sure...80 pounds is nothing to sneeze at, you put in a lot of hard work to lose that much weight...You look absolutely gorgeous (:
Tiki - Girl, you dont have to tell me twice!!! Lol. My feet will STAY on the floor. I know how I can get once I beome initmate with a man. Um yea..my feel on floor! Lol. Being the Cap's love sick slave sounds simply dreadful. No thank you!
Posted by tiki33
I failed to mention that you look great!! I thought you looked a lot slimmer but I wasn't sure...80 pounds is nothing to sneeze at, you put in a lot of hard work to lose that much weight...You look absolutely gorgeous (:
AWWW thank you!!!!!!
Posted by CappyyLuv30
Yea, I disagree with pathfinder...
And as far as the "game" is concerned. Perhaps, "game" is a poor choice of words. This is more like insight on how to be wise with actions and words. If you start saying stuff like "I love you, let's get married" the minute you find out you have so much in common on the first date, guess when your next date is? The 15th of NEVAHHH. So while it's CALLED a game, I see it as just insight....a voice of experience and helping out another person. I agree that Nat needs to totally be herself but by the same token, she's given insight on how to read the guy. From there, it's on her to apply that as she wishes. No one person is the same - the book is a guide not a birth certificate.
There is some logic to what K is saying though. Poker: you're calling their bluff, you're trying to read them. It's a game. Similar to business or life/love in general. Football/Basketball: The opposite team is trying to get the girl (the ball) but the other team is fighting for that victory. Whoever wins the prize (the girl) wins the the game. It is all relative. The difference is that in relationships, emotions are involved, that's when you need to call a timeout and/or forfeit the game.
The other facts I stated was more about that the man should take Natch seriously and she should see to it that he does. She's got loads of things she could be doing, but she CHOSE to spend time with him. If he agreed, it should have happened. She was ultimately "stood up" because he didn't take her seriously, for WHATEVER reason. This is unacceptable for Natch. She either needs to examine herself to make sure she was clear with him, and if she wasn't, check herself. If she was, Check Him. Not in a mean way, but he owes her an apology for his brain fart. Next time, he'll be there -- IF he wants to see her again. And even then, if she wants to see him she will, if she doesnt' she wont. She is in control of herself -- not him controlling her. For her (and TO him), it WONT be because of a game, or trying to play hard-to-get, or Ms. Spitefully Unavailable, or whatnot. It will simply be because she chose not to see him at the moment. She does what she wants to do.
Purple Diamond - Thank you! I appreciate you all pulling out of my fantasy world. Lol. Sometimes I can get in there REEEAAALLLL deep. Ha!
Pathfinder - You are awesome! Thank you so much for your will wishes and great advice.
**Nat runs around room and gives everyone hugs** LMAO!
Pathfinder - You are awesome! Thank you so much for your will wishes and great advice.
**Nat runs around room and gives everyone hugs** LMAO!
((0)) hugs back to Natch. Congratulations on your weight loss!
K you sound bitter...Seriously what is up with the passive aggressive bullshit. If you don't agree with anyone here that's fine but seriously get over yourself, no one way is the right way for every woman here. I have a somewhat personal relationship with Natural so she know I know her back story about her and her relationship habits or I wouldn't have said what I said, me and her go way back.
No one is telling Natural what to do, if Natural wants to play games and she wants you to coach her and lead her that's completely between the 2 of you, no one is judging, least not me.
I mean damn get it off your chest already...I read your post and you fight with every damn body. Instead of focusing on what we say maybe you need to try and get that catty ass bitterness off your chest about your own failed relationship first and direct that bitter energy were it really belongs towards your own failed mistakes with your Pisces instead of passive aggressively attempting to imply because were women we don't know what the hell were talking about b/c none of us here have an issue with you...Least I don't.
No one is telling Natural what to do, if Natural wants to play games and she wants you to coach her and lead her that's completely between the 2 of you, no one is judging, least not me.
I mean damn get it off your chest already...I read your post and you fight with every damn body. Instead of focusing on what we say maybe you need to try and get that catty ass bitterness off your chest about your own failed relationship first and direct that bitter energy were it really belongs towards your own failed mistakes with your Pisces instead of passive aggressively attempting to imply because were women we don't know what the hell were talking about b/c none of us here have an issue with you...Least I don't.
K Starks - I remember that episode very well. Yes, I realize that on a board such as this most everyone will have opinions that differ at least a little. Which I appreciate. I am able to see multiple perspectives. In this case, I have taken a little from what everyone has said. I am greedy like that! Lol.
Please don't get it twisted, I still plan to continue seeing the Cap. Yes, he does make me happy for now. However, Tiki is right. I do need to watch how much energy I put into him. Dont want to get SPRUNG. This is what you and Path have said as well. Like i said, I am going to take everything day by day. How I feel about the Libra...how I feel about the Cap....how I feel about MYSELF. Everything day by day and just enjoy my life. 🙂
Umm Btw, Cap called me this morning and left a message. I didnt get a chance to call him back. Then he texted me a few hours later and asked if he could see me either before or after drinks with my friends. Lol. I responded and told him that after should work well. He told me to call him tomorrow night when I am close to being done with them. He will be at home "chilling". Hmph.
Please don't get it twisted, I still plan to continue seeing the Cap. Yes, he does make me happy for now. However, Tiki is right. I do need to watch how much energy I put into him. Dont want to get SPRUNG. This is what you and Path have said as well. Like i said, I am going to take everything day by day. How I feel about the Libra...how I feel about the Cap....how I feel about MYSELF. Everything day by day and just enjoy my life. 🙂
Umm Btw, Cap called me this morning and left a message. I didnt get a chance to call him back. Then he texted me a few hours later and asked if he could see me either before or after drinks with my friends. Lol. I responded and told him that after should work well. He told me to call him tomorrow night when I am close to being done with them. He will be at home "chilling". Hmph.
Uh oh! What happened...I thought it was all LOVE!! Lol. Not to speak for K bc I know she is very capable of speaking for herself. Lol. I dont think she meant it like that. At least I didnt take it like that. I took it as her remarking on the varying opinions that everyone has on the situation and reminding me to do what is best for me. Not necessarily putting any one opinion or suggestion down. That is how I took it.
Umm Tiki, youre not off the hook! Not only is K coaching me all of ya??ll are, including YOU!!! Don't forgot I got some of your contact info!! LMAO!!! Jk. Seriously, I want all of your opinions. You are all intelligent and have provided great insight for me. 🙂
Umm Tiki, youre not off the hook! Not only is K coaching me all of ya??ll are, including YOU!!! Don't forgot I got some of your contact info!! LMAO!!! Jk. Seriously, I want all of your opinions. You are all intelligent and have provided great insight for me. 🙂
No Natural I'm not even talking about whose going to coach who, I don't care about that, that's petty. I have faith that you will do the right thing for yourself because you always do but it's clear that when other women say something to you that there is this subtle indication of catty behavior, that's bullshit.
Oh and why not consider seeing Cap before drinks...You will be sober and you will give him a little time not a lot of time. Ain't nothing going on after drinks but heavy petting and panty dropping...Jus saying
Oh and why not consider seeing Cap before drinks...You will be sober and you will give him a little time not a lot of time. Ain't nothing going on after drinks but heavy petting and panty dropping...Jus saying
Posted by tiki33
No Natural I'm not even talking about whose going to coach who, I don't care about that, that's petty. I have faith that you will do the right thing for yourself because you always do but it's clear that when other women say something to you that there is this subtle indication of catty behavior, that's bullshit.
Oh and why not consider seeing Cap before drinks...You will be sober and you will give him a little time not a lot of time. Ain't nothing going on after drinks but heavy petting and panty dropping...Jus saying
Well.... well... I was just trying to make light of what you said to K...ok. Work with me, dam. Lol. All am saying is we are all women and ultimately all fighting the good fight. Lol. Al on the same team. Now lets all sing cumbaya (sp). Lol. Ok enoguh on that.
I told him after because I have so many errands tomorrow during the day. I really will not have time to see him before. Im meeting my friends at 7 and my hair appointment is not until 3. Lol. Also, I do not plan on acutally drinking tomorrow night. I just ended a cleasne. My system isnt ready to be tipping back bottles with Diddy and em'. Ha! So, tomorow night I will be sober. 🙂
*enough
Well what about a "REAL" date?
Sounds like he's on some type of a booty call type deal with you if he's asking you over to his place instead asking you out on a proper date...Something not adding up
Sounds like he's on some type of a booty call type deal with you if he's asking you over to his place instead asking you out on a proper date...Something not adding up
Umm... shoot. I was planning on going out to eat. Lol. He texted me a little while ago and asked me to think about what I want. In fact, I was just going to text him and tell him that I am craving sushi. Lol. Yea, no. I am not planning on going over there and just kick it. None of that will be going down tomorrow. Been down that road while I was in my early 20's. I already know where that leads and I sure am not truying to go there.
You are a respectable lady not a booty call type girl, and you are not so desperate that you need to sit up over his place staring him in the mouth, watching tv and eating cheap food and calling it a real date.
Be conscious and careful that you are not aligning yourself with low self esteem behavior and exuding the same behaviors that women with low self esteem play out with men cuz once you do that and he recognizes your not challenging him to treat you better... your toast.
Be conscious and careful that you are not aligning yourself with low self esteem behavior and exuding the same behaviors that women with low self esteem play out with men cuz once you do that and he recognizes your not challenging him to treat you better... your toast.
Agreed! I completely agree with you 100% . That is percisely why I just told him that I want us to go out for sushi tomorrow night. Lol. Thanks Tiki! 🙂
Oh bitch please...You have a chip on your shoulder that's evident or i'm inclined to believe you feel you run the Cap forum NOT lol. Save the childish your you and not me your rubber and I'm glue bullshit for somebody else. It's clear you are super insecure immature young'n and maybe just maybe that's why you feel you have to play "GAMES" with men. Grow the fuck up.
Fuck it...Cuss me out cunt and Let's go to war bitch cuz I hope you don't think for a second I'm afraid to go there with your weak minded ass.
Fuck it...Cuss me out cunt and Let's go to war bitch cuz I hope you don't think for a second I'm afraid to go there with your weak minded ass.
Posted by natural25
Agreed! I completely agree with you 100% . That is percisely why I just told him that I want us to go out for sushi tomorrow night. Lol. Thanks Tiki! 🙂
Yep...You already know (:
Yeah Yeah Yeah...YAWN your boring me bitch, today you being subtle with your shit...You are not aware that several others noticed it as well yet I'm just bold enough to say the shit.
You done..I'm done but if you wanna fight it out let's get 300 up in this bitch.
You done..I'm done but if you wanna fight it out let's get 300 up in this bitch.
LMAO!!! You know what...You ain't shit. Your just a silly little smart mouth snot nose wanna know it all bitch that can't hold weight up in here, your bark ain't worth it's bite, suck on a pacifier cuz you still cutting your baby teeth bitch. Ms. Game player LMAO!!! WHEW!! This is fun...The only hoe that need saving is you b/c your thrown is littered with shit.
LMAO!! Damn turns out your the weakest link and I thought you would be challenging and I thought you would give me a rumble in the jungle and instead it turns out your just a little baby pussy cat lost without a tit to suck on for comfort. Oh well, here's a ball of yarn for you to play with, it's simple and doesn't require instructions, that should keep your small wittle bwain occupied for a few seconds.
OOOPS and I dumped you too just like the Pisces guess we both on the same page...
Damn you really do suck at being the Queen don't forget to clean all the shitty kitty litter around your THROWN before you Ta Ta away.
Officially DeThrowned
OOOPS and I dumped you too just like the Pisces guess we both on the same page...
Damn you really do suck at being the Queen don't forget to clean all the shitty kitty litter around your THROWN before you Ta Ta away.
Officially DeThrowned
I think it's great that Natch responds very thoughtfully to everyone who gives a reply to her postings and can find some value in each.
*Two Thumbs up*
*Two Thumbs up*
Tiki is right.
So shut the hell up, K-Starks.
So shut the hell up, K-Starks.
LOL SMDH It's apparent you are thoroughly allowing me to push your buttons and your completely focused on me, look at you all chasing me, you can't stop responding to me b/c you are completely entertained by me. If I was such a bore you would have had me on ignore by now, you have been exposed for the weak minded nit wit that you really are. The only big deal going on is in your big humongous head filled with plenty hot air.
Your so weak you have to imply I sleep around with men LMAO!! You wish bitch WOW Oh well I have a wedding to go plan, it's been a pleasure exposing you for the fake small minded game playing tattered up hag that you are...
Go ahead have the floor bitch no one is really listening anymore, I'm sure not, you have been throughly spanked enough.
Your so weak you have to imply I sleep around with men LMAO!! You wish bitch WOW Oh well I have a wedding to go plan, it's been a pleasure exposing you for the fake small minded game playing tattered up hag that you are...
Go ahead have the floor bitch no one is really listening anymore, I'm sure not, you have been throughly spanked enough.
Not sure what happened. So Friday I completely forgot to text or call Cap about sushi last night bc I had a minor emergency that distracted me that evening. Saturday I went to drinks as planned. A bunch of people who I went to high school with ended up being at the lounge. I got distracted and didn't end up texting Cap until about 930 asking him what he was doing. I went on talking to my friends, having a great time. I looked at phone after a while. Saw that 2 hrs had passed, no response from Cap. Fine. Went on. Laughed, flirted with men. I had my hair gone, red lipstick on looking too cute. Lol.
Met a pisces who tried to talk my ear off the whole night. Turns out he lived about 15 minutes from me. Great guy with a great personality and good conversation. Very attractive, but only 27. Hmm. He ended up asking for my number and I gave it to him. Some of my friends know him and say he's a great guy. We will see. He texted when I got home and just drifted off to sleep around 2 (lol) saying that he was happy our paths crossed and looks forward to talking to me soon. I haven't responded yet bc I was half sleep when the text came through. I'll respond in about an hour when he might be awak.
Cap never responded. So I guess cap has officially stood me up. No bueno. Not sure of he was upset that I didn't text him sooner, not that into me and had gotten with a piece of ass before I got to him or if he's just an asshole OR a combination of all 3! Lol. I really didn't text him that late. In fact, I'm thinking he knew I would text him around that time because I didn't meet up with my girls until 730. Thoughts?
So now I am going to develop my response to this behavior. Obviously I don't appreciate being stood up and I plan on letting him know, if he contacts me again. Im not going to lecture him or tell him off but I am definitely going to make it very clear to him that his behavior last night is completely unacceptable! Although we did not set any firm plans of time and location still unacceptable. I'm not really mad bc I did not necessarily expect more out of him and I know how men can be. Especially, in the begining when they are trying to push limits. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't a tad disappointed. Which I suppose is human nature.
Met a pisces who tried to talk my ear off the whole night. Turns out he lived about 15 minutes from me. Great guy with a great personality and good conversation. Very attractive, but only 27. Hmm. He ended up asking for my number and I gave it to him. Some of my friends know him and say he's a great guy. We will see. He texted when I got home and just drifted off to sleep around 2 (lol) saying that he was happy our paths crossed and looks forward to talking to me soon. I haven't responded yet bc I was half sleep when the text came through. I'll respond in about an hour when he might be awak.
Cap never responded. So I guess cap has officially stood me up. No bueno. Not sure of he was upset that I didn't text him sooner, not that into me and had gotten with a piece of ass before I got to him or if he's just an asshole OR a combination of all 3! Lol. I really didn't text him that late. In fact, I'm thinking he knew I would text him around that time because I didn't meet up with my girls until 730. Thoughts?
So now I am going to develop my response to this behavior. Obviously I don't appreciate being stood up and I plan on letting him know, if he contacts me again. Im not going to lecture him or tell him off but I am definitely going to make it very clear to him that his behavior last night is completely unacceptable! Although we did not set any firm plans of time and location still unacceptable. I'm not really mad bc I did not necessarily expect more out of him and I know how men can be. Especially, in the begining when they are trying to push limits. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't a tad disappointed. Which I suppose is human nature.
Good part about it all is that I had so much fun last night!! I was laughing, working the crowd, great time. I am kind of glad that I ended up staying with my girls until 1am having a good time opposed to leaving much earlier to have dinner with cap. It felt so good to be out!!
OMG!! WTF happened here lol! Mind control I say, mind fucking control!!! Yeah Baby!!
Hey Natural, don't worry about Cap. Carry on focusing about you. He'll get back to you when he'll miss you. I bet right now he's dying for you to get on the phone and give him some drama diarrhea, which will show to him that you're so into him. Don't do it.
Natch, he is only hurting himself. You have kept your word on everything you said. He needs to man up, and you need to let him. If not, then let him go because maybe he realizes he is not MATURE enough for a woman like you.
When the cap does contact you, if you want to answer, my advice would be to be totally professional with him. Your time is NOT to be taken advantage of. He may say "well, you were with your girls, so I decided to let you have your fun. I didn't want to share you, yada, yada. Don't buy into it. He could have said that to you when you texted him on Friday, OR he could have said something when you first invited him. So respond as such ... nothing personal, just business. Even friends don't do mess like that. Why should a "potential" romantic interest think that THEY can? He needs to show some RESPECT to you -- MORESO -- because he APPEARS to be interested in you. There should be SOME kind of perferential treatment. I mean, really....
When the cap does contact you, if you want to answer, my advice would be to be totally professional with him. Your time is NOT to be taken advantage of. He may say "well, you were with your girls, so I decided to let you have your fun. I didn't want to share you, yada, yada. Don't buy into it. He could have said that to you when you texted him on Friday, OR he could have said something when you first invited him. So respond as such ... nothing personal, just business. Even friends don't do mess like that. Why should a "potential" romantic interest think that THEY can? He needs to show some RESPECT to you -- MORESO -- because he APPEARS to be interested in you. There should be SOME kind of perferential treatment. I mean, really....
How selfish. It's all about him. You have PROVEN your interest in him when you saw him at the last minute last weekend, when you offered to see him while you were in his vicinity on business, when you tried to accomodate him this Friday, etc.
Forget the sentimental feelings you may have for him during that moment. He hasn't really earned them.
Take a few steps back, Natch. Be cool and see where he is coming from becasue from where I sit, he now needs to start ALL OVER AGAIN with you. Your opinion of him has dropped a few notches and rightly so. Just treat him like he someone you just met, NO THOUGHTFUL HISTORY. I don't like his general "let-me-take-you-down-a-couple-notches-by-IGNORING-you-so-I-can-handle-you attitude. But that's my person opinion. Right out the gate, it appears this man hasn't put his best foot forward. Let him do that. If he can not, then you may need to rethink this before you get in too deep.
Forget the sentimental feelings you may have for him during that moment. He hasn't really earned them.
Take a few steps back, Natch. Be cool and see where he is coming from becasue from where I sit, he now needs to start ALL OVER AGAIN with you. Your opinion of him has dropped a few notches and rightly so. Just treat him like he someone you just met, NO THOUGHTFUL HISTORY. I don't like his general "let-me-take-you-down-a-couple-notches-by-IGNORING-you-so-I-can-handle-you attitude. But that's my person opinion. Right out the gate, it appears this man hasn't put his best foot forward. Let him do that. If he can not, then you may need to rethink this before you get in too deep.
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