Reading These Threads Has Me Sccuuurreeddd!!! (Page 4)

Natch, I know I said alot, but to me, here's the bottom line.

If he expecting some kind of emotional reaction, don't pout or be angry, or lay a guilt trip. Don't sound excited too hear from him or as if you are in a hurry. Stay cool, pace yourself and be brief. Yes, check your watch. If he gets long-winded, tell him to call you back after work in a couple hours. State an approx. time. No texting or "E-" anything. You need to see how serious he takes you.

Agh!!! Path and KStartks are saying exactly two different things. Lol. I actually have two other friends who have shared their thoughts as well. And guess what, one friend said something very similar to what Path said, and the other similar to what KStarks said. Lol.

I admit, I was in the wrong. I should have said something about me not texting him on Friday. That was my bad. Ha! As far as the time that I texted him on Saturday, I dont think that was an issue BY ITSELF as he knew that I was probably going to be busy up until that time.

This is my understanding, I need to present myself in a venerable yet confident way. Not make him feel like I am trying to play games by not texting, calling, etc. Allow him to feel as though he can trust me and that I am being transparent. Yet, that I am not going to be taken for granted and that I am aware ofmy self-worth. I got that. It's penetrated and I understand fully. Lol. This is just so hard for a Scorpio. I am just going to be honest. Scorpios are so extreme. Either we are ALL in, heart on our sleeve fools or we are mysterious and elusive. In and out. Keep a brotha?? guessing at every turn. It is hard to get that "in the middle" mix. So, now I must work on this middle crap because it IS a trait I guess I should have in any case. Lol. Oh woe is me.

I'll let you all know what he says when he reaches out. I have decided that I am not going to contact him. Not because I am trying to get into a struggle for control but just because I have already reached out and I assume when and if he gets ready to talk, he will do the same.

Btw, the Pisces I met is hot on my trail. He texted me good morning yesterday morning and then called me after the Super Bowl. We talked for a little bit then I got off the phone with him because I was so tired from the weekend??s events. I have to tell you, although, the Cap sometimes has my head spinning, I AM enjoying meeting new people. I really am??_.

Rayzed - It is so funny how things have changed. I used to be all emotional. Last year, I would have called him, asked him a million questions. Lol. SMH @ myself. Lol. I have really learned a lot about myself and grown. I am playing it cool. If I allow myself to go off on him and act all pyscho not only will I push him away but I will also put myself in a emotional and mental state that I defiitely do not want to be in. Yuck! No drama here.

Posted by natural25

I admit, I was in the wrong. I should have said something about me not texting him on Friday. That was my bad. Ha! As far as the time that I texted him on Saturday, I dont think that was an issue BY ITSELF as he knew that I was probably going to be busy up until that time.

I didn't read her statements, so I don't know the comparison.

No worries, I guess I missed that you forgot to text him on Friday. It may have been because he didn't seem interested in your invitation, so don't go beating yourself up about it.

I thought he was ignoring you -- Again.

Natch, all I have to say is enjoy yourself meeting people. Don't put all your eggs in one basket (= ONE guy) and if you made a mistake, offer an apology and keep it moving. Nobody's perfect. If he will still pout about a mistake that you innocently made and try to make amends equal to the faux pas,(IOW, don't go overboard), then that's his problem. Don't over-analyzing the situation (= "I don't want him to think I'm playing games". You have not done that so far, so he doesn't think it and who cares if he did. YOU know you're not). As he said, he is NOT chasing you, so it stands to reason he was not sitting around waiting by the phone for you to call either. Ma bell works two ways. He could have called you as well.

From where I sit, you are having fun and not moaning over and pining after ONE man.

I salute you.

I can't read it all right now but even from the bit I'm reading it seems like you are struggling a bit. On one end it seems like you are trying to project this nonchalant carefree attitude to him and his behavior by mentioning what good time you had regardless of him and how your enjoying meeting new people etc, and on the other end you are talking about what you've got down about what you need to do to get the response you want from him.

If you are enjoying your single life and enjoying meeting new people right now then be honest to yourself and to him. If its all a front and you want something serious from him, then again, be honest. He's probably reading the mixed signals that you are sending. If he's not sure that you are sure then you will never get what you want from him, if you want anything at all. He's not going to waste his time on uncertainty. This is the middle of all or nothing that scorpios say they are about.


I hope I don't sound harsh btw.

Path - Thank you! 🙂

Inana - Not harsh. Believe you me, if I can take Tiki, I can take anyone's opinion. Lol. Although they might not be the best of friends with one another (ha!) both Tiki and KStarks go hard with their advice, and I like it! As long as it is real and honest, I have no problem with it. Lol.

As far as the mixed messages. Maybe I am sending him mixed messages. Although, I dont THINK he knows of the internal conflicts that I express on this board. In fact, he has told me that he likes the fact that I am easy going and do not crowd him. So, not sure. Lol. Honestly, RIGHT NOW I AM enjoying meeting new people. RIGHT NOW. Lol. However, at some point, I do want to be in serious relationship. Hell, I want to have a family in the near future. So, will I be happy just dating him a year from now,no. Am I OK with it while we are getting to know one another, most definitely. In fact, RIGHT NOW I think it is the best bet for me as I am transitioning from my relationship with Libra. When we first went out I did tell him that I am not in rush at this point for a relationship, however, I do not want to be in an open relationship with someone down the road. He SAID he understood and felt the same way. Said he does not like to date a lot of women at the same time, particularly if he is intimate with them.

So yes, right now I am enjoying myself. Especially, with my new body. Ha! However, eventually I do want to be in a committed relationship with the potential for marriage, etc.

He contacted me. Just called while I was away from my desk. Left a message saying that he was MIA becasue he not feeling well and slept most of the day on Saturday and Sunday. He said that he took the day off becasue he is still not feeling well and asked that I call him back. Hmmm...

Posted by natural25
In fact, RIGHT NOW I think it is the best bet for me as I am transitioning from my relationship with Libra.

So yes, right now I am enjoying myself. Especially, with my new body. Ha! However, eventually I do want to be in a committed relationship with the potential for marriage, etc.

^^^Love this.^^^

*Fist Bump*


🙂

OK. I called and spoke to him. Hehe. **Natch stops being silly** Lol. So, he said that he has a really bad flu. He did sound bad. Then he asked what I was going to do to make him feel better. I had to pause on that real quick. I couldnt tell if he was trying to be sexy, cute, or a combo of both. Ha! I just said that I would think of somethings. Then I had to go again because a parent came in to speak with me. So, I just told him to feel better and I would call him when I get off work and can really talk.

Oh! Wait I almost forgot an important part. So we know each other from way back in the day. I aksed him if one of his male friends ever told him about a funny story that happened about 5 years ago. The story involved me and the male friend. Nothing flirty or romantic AT ALL. He told me no. So, I went ahead and told the story. By the end of the story, I was busting up laughing bc i thought it was so funny. To me, the story is absolutely hilarious. I told him so that he would laugh. Thought he would get a kick out of it. Well I was WRONG! He was silent. And asked me, "why did you tel me about that." Ummm... I just said, "thought it was a funny story...I suppose you do not share the sentiment." He tells me that he did not think it was funny and did not like me talking about other guys to him. Huh? The "other guy" is a mutual firend of both of ours who I barely talk to and have ABSOLUTELY NO romantic interest in. I just said, "my bad...thought it was a funny and would provide you was a little comic relief. Obviously, I miscalculated. " He was silent. Lol. So, I said"aww dont be upset. How can you be upset with lil' ole me." He tells me that he didnt like it and as long as I dont talk about other men, he will not get upset. I agreed and said it wont happen again.

"Other men"? I mean I guess TECHNICALLY I was talking about another man, but not in a romantic way at all. In fact , the story made me look like a complete goof and I think of the "other" man like a female. The guy is not cute at all! His reaction really surprised me. Thoughts?

** runs over to bump fists with Path ** Heeeyyyy!! 🙂

Girl, you should have said "f u" and hung up the phone. I am dead serious. Capricorn men are a mess! Don't let him start that ish with you, I'm telling you. They need to be put in their place when they step out of line like that. It will set a tone that you will end up regretting if you are not careful.

*trying to calm down*

Ok, now maybe don't curse him out but if he tries to demand again that you don't talk about other guys be like "boy please!!" Just say something slick because he is out of line. If he gets silent then oh well.

Inana - Lmao! Right? I just didnt get it .I was so shocked by his reaction. I mean I am Scorpio and I sure as hell dont like when men talk about other women. But if it is to tell a story that does not involve a romantic relationship, I am completely fine with that. Who cares? I did not understand why he got so upset. It really caught me off gaurd.

Posted by lnana04
Girl, you should have said "f u" and hung up the phone. I am dead serious. Capricorn men are a mess! Don't let him start that ish with you, I'm telling you. They need to be put in their place when they step out of line like that. It will set a tone that you will end up regretting if you are not careful.

*trying to calm down*

Ok, now maybe don't curse him out but if he tries to demand again that you don't talk about other guys be like "boy please!!" Just say something slick because he is out of line. If he gets silent then oh well.

^^I second this.^^

AND, I know he did not react like that becasue he is jealous or is concerned about me messing with other guys. Too early for all that. Is it all about control?

Posted by natural25
OK. I called and spoke to him. Hehe. **Natch stops being silly** Lol. So, he said that he has a really bad flu. He did sound bad. Then he asked what I was going to do to make him feel better. I had to pause on that real quick. I couldnt tell if he was trying to be sexy, cute, or a combo of both. Ha! I just said that I would think of somethings. Then I had to go again because a parent came in to speak with me. So, I just told him to feel better and I would call him when I get off work and can really talk.

Natch, I knew he was going there. ZZZZZZZ. Predictable. Playing the victim because he wants you come over while he's laying around in loose fitting, soft clothing. Maybe get you on the couch or bed with him so he can experience how good you feel, smell, taste and you can feel how turned on he is. LOL Whew is it getting hot in here? LOL Hmmmm, how many times has came out of his pocket for you? I know that sounds crude, but money is a major indicator of his feelings. ESPECIALLY since he says he doesn't chase. If you haven't already been to his place, don't go now. Once he gets you to his place, then comes the "take out" and Netflix.

I'm sorry to hear he has the flu (not fun), but as far as him putting a guilt trip on you about doing something for him? Recommend chicken soup (not homemade) and NyQyl. Prayer for the sick. Ask him does his pharmacy deliver. Most will for a fee.

You are not auditioning to be the wife/gf/S.O. No, he says he won't chase you in order to prove how he feels or impress you, but he will certainly try to put you through a few tests to see how much you want to impress him. Trust me, he's already impressed and you haven't had to get out of your comfort zone.

Posted by kstarks2
Natural: "What do you mean don't talk about other men? What bothers you about hearing a story that involves a man? Sounds like you're a tad jealous of me being around other men..."

Cap: I'm insecure and jealous and I know the person whom you are speaking of and guys know that all other guys wanna fuck you regardless of how platonic you two are and/or how ugly you think HE is. I just don't wanna hear about you because it gets me upset to think my "catch" might take you away. Do it again and I'll fall silent. Got it? Good. Moving right along...

^^this is what he's probably thinking but won't say. LOL --

Lol. I have seen some of his insecurities. But as we know, he is so gaurded and puts up such a front. Thats why I assumed his reaction was not a result of jealousy but more out of control.

Path - Girl, I was not planning on going over there. If he is sick, me going over there will not do anything but possibly get me sick too and I have to go to work. Ha! Yea...no. Wasnt planning on going over there.

Posted by kstarks2
He's sick? don't you dare go over there and catch any of his germs! yuck. That is NOT your man and does not collect THOSE benefits yet.

Girl please. I am going home and making dinner for myself. Not going over there. Lol. I will be with my dogs tonight.

Posted by kstarks2
CHECK!


LOL


girl you let that boy check you! Noooooooo!!!!!!! smh. You gotta be QUICKER with the comeback cause he needed to get CHECKED right back...


Natural: Oh ok, so did you decide on which stone for my ring?

Cap: huh? What ring?

Natural: My engagement ring? You talking like we're exclusive and you're about to put a ring on my finger or something so i just wanted to know if my ring will be ready soon.

Cap: I'm not laughing

Natural: Neither am I.

**FACE OFF**

So how's the pisces guy? LOL Put that Cap on ICE for like 2 weeks.

Dam K! Youre good. Dammit! Lol.

Posted by natural25
Path - Girl, I was not planning on going over there. If he is sick, me going over there will not do anything but possibly get me sick too and I have to go to work. Ha! Yea...no. Wasnt planning on going over there.

Yes, like I said... you are not auditioning to impress him by doing "wifey" nurse treatment. He's already impressed. Keep doing what you are doing.

is anything women say in english?

You all are too funny. Last night, Cap sent me an excel budget. Last week, I told him that I wanted to find a new template for a budget. Last night, he texted me and asked me to check my email. He sent me a personalized budget. Had my name on it and he filed in the blanks of what I suppose he thinks I pay a month for certain expnenses. He told me to play around with it and once I become more familiar with it, he will send me a much more detialed template. Ha. He's funny.

Anyway, I did not go over there. When he texted me about the budget he asked what I was doing. I told him that I was cooking myself dinner and enjoying being at home. I think he understood that I was not going to be playing Nat the Nurse that night. Lol.

Pisces called me last night. I did not answer. I will text him today and tell him I was too tired to talk and we can talk tonite. Last night, I just didnt feel like being bothered with anyone. I am really enjoying being alone some nights. Having my place to myself. No TV on, no music, no one else in my space. Just me, my dogs and a good book. Ha.

Wondedbird - Phony? When did it become phony to discuss finances with someone. Is it phony when I discuss with my father buying property to rent? Is it phony to discuss with my supervisor the benefits of consulting as an added stream of revenue? Not phony. I discuss with him things that I am honestly interested in that I know he is knowledgeable about. That's phony? I am trying to make money. Improve my financial stability. I discuss these issues with those who I know can provide insight on ways to do this, that I have not thought of.

Furthermore, I never asked him to send me the excel sheet. I told him that I was looking for one, one night when we were on the phone. He took it upon himself to email it to me.

But you know what, you have a right to your opinion. If that is how you perceive the situation/me that is well within your right. Not going to argue about it. That is not what I am here for. I am here to receive sound advice, support and learn ways to improve myself.

LivelyHallow1983 - I see your point. As I have said before, I realize that my lack of communication was in very poor taste. Something happened with a family memeber and I had to leave work early, drive over 2 hours away and take care of some things for them. It was an ugly situation and I was very upset. Still not an axcuse, I know. . .

*excuse

Posted by natural25
You all are too funny. Last night, Cap sent me an excel budget. Last week, I told him that I wanted to find a new template for a budget. Last night, he texted me and asked me to check my email. He sent me a personalized budget. Had my name on it and he filed in the blanks of what I suppose he thinks I pay a month for certain expnenses. He told me to play around with it and once I become more familiar with it, he will send me a much more detialed template. Ha. He's funny.

Anyway, I did not go over there. When he texted me about the budget he asked what I was doing. I told him that I was cooking myself dinner and enjoying being at home. I think he understood that I was not going to be playing Nat the Nurse that night. Lol.

Pisces called me last night. I did not answer. I will text him today and tell him I was too tired to talk and we can talk tonite. Last night, I just didnt feel like being bothered with anyone. I am really enjoying being alone some nights. Having my place to myself. No TV on, no music, no one else in my space. Just me, my dogs and a good book. Ha.

Sounds like the Cap is obsessed with cash, and is probably a materialistic punk.

The Pisces guy will at least provide you with some romance, candles and stuff like that?

Scuba - He is a financial advisor. That is what he does all day everyday. Not sure if he is so much OBSSESED with money. I think investing fascinates him. It is his career.

Posted by natural25
Nat the Nurse that night. Lol.

Pisces called me last night. I did not answer. I will text him today and tell him I was too tired to talk and we can talk tonite. Last night, I just didnt feel like being bothered with anyone.

Nat the Nurse! LOL

Posted by natural25

I am really enjoying being alone some nights. Having my place to myself. No TV on, no music, no one else in my space. Just me, my dogs and a good book. Ha.

click to expand

OMG, I hear you, lady. A girl needs her "me" space. I have one in our home and I absolutely love it.

Two thumbs up.

Posted by LivelyHallow1983
all i want is to show you that nobody else but you know what is best for you.

Take advice but do not change who you are. All this is happening because you are changing yourself and be assured that caps can very well separate the water from milk.

So use your head instead of somebody who has fucked up in life and blaming caps for everything.

I see your point. I dont think I am CHANGING myself for him Sure, I am in here asking for advice on him. However, I am attemtping to adopt helpful ways to create a productive and healthy relationship with ANY MAN. The advice that I have received from some I think would not only benefit me while dealing with Cap but whoever I date in the future. However, it is interesting that you perceive me as changing for him. Hmm....

"OMG, I hear you, lady. A girl needs her "me" space. I have one in our home and I absolutely love it.
Two Thumbs up."

Girl, YES! Sometimes, I just need peace and solitude. I am an only child so I have absolutely NO problme with being alone! Lol. Last night, was jsut for me.

Posted by LivelyHallow1983
all i want is to show you that nobody else but you know what is best for you.

Take advice but do not change who you are. All this is happening because you are changing yourself and be assured that caps can very well separate the water from milk.

So use your head instead of somebody who has fucked up in life and blaming caps for everything.

How resentful.

FYI, I'm happily married to a scorpio male. I had a wonderful relationship with a capricorn man for several years four years prior to meeting my husband. There is nothing fucked up about my life, so speak for your damn self.

Posted by natural25
"OMG, I hear you, lady. A girl needs her "me" space. I have one in our home and I absolutely love it.
Two Thumbs up."

Girl, YES! Sometimes, I just need peace and solitude. I am an only child so I have absolutely NO problme with being alone! Lol. Last night, was jsut for me.

I know what you mean 🙂 I am the only girl in my family, so I'm cool in my own skin too.

But lady, you damaged that ego last night though, when you said you were cooking dinner for yourself -- considering he said he was sick! But look at how it turned out. Homeboy did some WORK for you! He is trying to IMPRESS YOU. He is showing off his SKILLS trying to get your business as well as be a part of your life! He's hoping for one of your home-made dinners. Can you throw down?

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by natural25
"OMG, I hear you, lady. A girl needs her "me" space. I have one in our home and I absolutely love it.
Two Thumbs up."

Girl, YES! Sometimes, I just need peace and solitude. I am an only child so I have absolutely NO problme with being alone! Lol. Last night, was jsut for me.

I know what you mean 🙂 I am the only girl in my family, so I'm cool in my own skin too.

But lady, you damaged that ego last night though, when you said you were cooking dinner for yourself -- considering he said he was sick! But look at how it turned out. Homeboy did some WORK for you! He is trying to IMPRESS YOU. He is showing off his SKILLS trying to get your business as well as be a part of your life! He's hoping for one of your home-made dinners. Can you throw down?

click to expand

Ahh ha ha!!!! You are TOO funny. Yes, girl I can throw down!! I made homemade mac and cheese for a super bowl party that I went to on Sunday. I took a picture of it (bc it looked OH SO DELISH) and posted it on my Facebook page. Yesteray when we talked, he asked me if I had any left over because he wanted to try some. But no cooking for him yet. Thats doing too much, too soon. Lol.

I'll bet it was good. I love mac&cheese. Yum!

Girl, that man knows you can cook. 😉

I love it too. I make mine with five different cheeses. OMG, girl. Sooo good. Him and I have some more dates to go on before he is exposed to that kind of cooking. Lol.

Please, don't talk about food, I skipped lunch and I am sooo hungry now. LOL

Five cheeses? Sounds REALLY Good.

Do you share recipes? I collect them -- I'm not in love with cooking, but I do like to cook and I'm always open to try something different/new. My hubby is just as adventurous, but he won't eat anything if it has too many different flavors that contradict his taste buds. LOL. I swear, sometimes I think I'm married to Chef Ramsey!

Sure, I can message you the recipe tomorrow. As long as your husband likes cheese, he will love this recipe!

^^Thanks!^^

Oh yes, he does. I added a different cheese to my cheesyMac on sunday and it was a big hit. We practically live at the cheese bar (I love their goat cheeses) and Wine section at Whole Foods LOL and he is always mixing cheeses for sauces and snacks. I love it when he cooks. He's so creative and methodical... lol