Scorpio Woman Capricorn Man....HELP!!!

This is kind of long and contains some racy language, I apologize in advance.

I have known this capricorn man for 15+ years. We reconnected this past February and have been talking almost daily via text message and phone calls, mostly texting though. Last Friday night we finally had a chance to spend some time together, he is always extremely busy with work, we get along wonderfully and there is an obvious connection between us. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. He confessed during the act that he had waited for this moment for so long, it didn't feel like a "hook-up", he requested that we go slow, lots of kissing and eye contact was involved, candles were lit. It was incredible sex, with lots of passion.

We got together again this past Friday, and we had sex again, still very passionate, romantic type sex, we climaxed together (it was beautiful). He begged me to stay the night with him, I was unable to stay the Friday before, and I think that it bothered him a little that I didn't, so I stayed this time. He cuddled with me all night.

The sexual aspect has been incredible. Our "connection", not just sexual, is amazing...

But, he gets kind of distant afterwards....he becomes very short worded with me for a couple of days afterwards.

I asked him if there was any potential for us to actually have a relationship and he said that we could, but he wants to take things slowly.

Does he seem to genuinely be interested in me? How can I get him to understand that I want something more than just sex?

Why did you sleep with him first if you wanted something serious?

Take sex out the equation if you want more than that. See if he sticks around. You will have your answer then.

He's known you for 15+ years. He should know whether or not he wants a relationship. The reason he's stalling is so he can continue having sex without commitment since he knows you well enough to know you won't fuck him casually.

Don't sleep with him again. If he presses you for sex tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that you both should take it slow.

Turn his words back on him.

I was unsure about having sex but we have been "talking" exclusively since February so I didn't feel like it was a mistake. I truly enjoy his company and he seems to genuinely enjoy mine as well. I want to ask him if he wants this to go anywhere outside of the bedroom, but I'm not sure how to ask without making him feel pressured.

I have known him for 15+ years, but we haven't remained in touch for all of those years, we only recently reconnected in February of this year.

Posted by Cfett
I was unsure about having sex but we have been "talking" exclusively since February so I didn't feel like it was a mistake. I truly enjoy his company and he seems to genuinely enjoy mine as well. I want to ask him if he wants this to go anywhere outside of the bedroom, but I'm not sure how to ask without making him feel pressured.

I have known him for 15+ years, but we haven't remained in touch for all of those years, we only recently reconnected in February of this year.

So you don't really know him at all. Which is why I said you should have discussed all this before you went to bed. He will continue to have casual sex with you if you let it happen.

Posted by LadyNeptune
He's known you for 15+ years. He should know whether or not he wants a relationship. The reason he's stalling is so he can continue having sex without commitment since he knows you well enough to know you won't fuck him casually.

Don't sleep with him again. If he presses you for sex tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that you both should take it slow.

Turn his words back on him.

Wow that's really good advice!

Posted by Lala1393
It's a hook up.

Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.

To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...

I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.

Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.

Her body, her choice.

However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !

So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.

No one is insinuating that. What is being said is that if you as a woman want more than casual sex then it should be worked out before you start having casual sex.

Don't sleep with a man knowing good and well you want more. That's setting yourself up for failure.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by Cfett
I was unsure about having sex but we have been "talking" exclusively since February so I didn't feel like it was a mistake. I truly enjoy his company and he seems to genuinely enjoy mine as well. I want to ask him if he wants this to go anywhere outside of the bedroom, but I'm not sure how to ask without making him feel pressured.

I have known him for 15+ years, but we haven't remained in touch for all of those years, we only recently reconnected in February of this year.

So you don't really know him at all. Which is why I said you should have discussed all this before you went to bed. He will continue to have casual sex with you if you let it happen.

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We did discuss things prior to Friday, he mentioned us dating.

Posted by Gob_Shite
And you claim you've known him for 15 years?!

I've known him since we were in 6th grade, we were best friends. We didn't talk much in high school, different extra curriculars/ "cliques" and he randomly messaged me on social media in February.

Posted by Lala1393
It's a hook up.

Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.

To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...

I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.

Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.

Her body, her choice.

However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !

So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.

We have undeniable chemistry. He has even pointed it out, we can sit around and laugh for hours, talk about anything that comes to mind and we do have a lot of trust in one another. He tells me things that he claims that no one else knows about him. He's an incredible person, I just hate to give up because I'm stubborn and hate waiting around for "possibilities".

Posted by LadyNeptune
He's known you for 15+ years. He should know whether or not he wants a relationship. The reason he's stalling is so he can continue having sex without commitment since he knows you well enough to know you won't fuck him casually.

Don't sleep with him again. If he presses you for sex tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that you both should take it slow.

Turn his words back on him.

I definitely understand where you are coming from, but....we have changed a lot over the years, I am an extremely hard working single mom, he's an extremely hard working man. Life has changed since middle school (where we met), so we had a lot of catching up to do.

Posted by Capz

Posted by Cfett

Posted by Gob_Shite
And you claim you've known him for 15 years?!

I've known him since we were in 6th grade, we were best friends. We didn't talk much in high school, different extra curriculars/ "cliques" and he randomly messaged me on social media in February.

i like this story

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I hope that the story has a good outcome. Do you have any advice or insight?

Posted by Cfett

Posted by LadyNeptune
He's known you for 15+ years. He should know whether or not he wants a relationship. The reason he's stalling is so he can continue having sex without commitment since he knows you well enough to know you won't fuck him casually.

Don't sleep with him again. If he presses you for sex tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that you both should take it slow.

Turn his words back on him.

I definitely understand where you are coming from, but....we have changed a lot over the years, I am an extremely hard working single mom, he's an extremely hard working man. Life has changed since middle school (where we met), so we had a lot of catching up to do.

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Which is exactly why you should get to know him before jumping into a relationship. Let him woo you. Have him qualify himself as someone you would even want to have as a bf.

Posted by Cfett

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by Cfett
I was unsure about having sex but we have been "talking" exclusively since February so I didn't feel like it was a mistake. I truly enjoy his company and he seems to genuinely enjoy mine as well. I want to ask him if he wants this to go anywhere outside of the bedroom, but I'm not sure how to ask without making him feel pressured.

I have known him for 15+ years, but we haven't remained in touch for all of those years, we only recently reconnected in February of this year.

So you don't really know him at all. Which is why I said you should have discussed all this before you went to bed. He will continue to have casual sex with you if you let it happen.

We did discuss things prior to Friday, he mentioned us dating.

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You didn't discuss enough which is why you're still confused. What the point of talking and not getting to the heart of the matter?

Did he mention he wants to date you and be exclusive? If not then the discussion had on Friday isn't even with mentioning.

Posted by Cfett

Posted by Lala1393
It's a hook up.

Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.

To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...

I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.

Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.

Her body, her choice.

However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !

So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.

We have undeniable chemistry. He has even pointed it out, we can sit around and laugh for hours, talk about anything that comes to mind and we do have a lot of trust in one another. He tells me things that he claims that no one else knows about him. He's an incredible person, I just hate to give up because I'm stubborn and hate waiting around for "possibilities".

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You don't have to wait for anything if you let him know what you want. If he doesn't want that, I'm sure he will move on. It doesn't have to be hard.

Pussy footing around the issue will get you no where.

I'd suggest having a time limit in place, 1-3 months, for him to decide whether he wants to pursue a relationship with you.

It's up to you if you want to continue to pursue a physical relationship with him. If you do try to stay emotionally detached. And at the very least obtain from him sexual exclusivity.

Thank you for the advice everyone. I truly appreciate all of your advice and insight on the situation.

Posted by Lala1393

Posted by Cfett

Posted by Lala1393
It's a hook up.

Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.

To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...

I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.

Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.

Her body, her choice.

However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !

So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.

We have undeniable chemistry. He has even pointed it out, we can sit around and laugh for hours, talk about anything that comes to mind and we do have a lot of trust in one another. He tells me things that he claims that no one else knows about him. He's an incredible person, I just hate to give up because I'm stubborn and hate waiting around for "possibilities".

Ok.

I see. Just give him his space. He'll come around if he likes you enough. ?

Good luck ?

You'll be ok.

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Thank you so much for being so kind to me.

Posted by Lala1393

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by Lala1393
It's a hook up.

Caps aren't the type to stop talking to you after sex if they really like you.

To all the people insinuating that sleeping with a man fast means that he won't date you, that's so untrue ...

I'm not gonna waste my time investing time with someone if I don't know if we connect well sexually.

Either the passion is there or it isn't. A man who doesn't respect a woman for something so silly is a man who doesn't respect a woman in the first place for doing what the hell she wants.

Her body, her choice.

However, I do believe that sleeping with a man you're not too sure about (mentally/intellectually/non-sexual connection wise) is dangerous. It means that your only foundation is the sexual aspect of your relationship ONLY !

So you cannot be surprised that that's his only Interest when talking to you.

No one is insinuating that. What is being said is that if you as a woman want more than casual sex then it should be worked out before you start having casual sex.

Don't sleep with a man knowing good and well you want more. That's setting yourself up for failure.

Hum. I've always slept with guys that I wanted to date fast. Sometimes even the first night. Didn't stop me from dating them seriously for years, meeting the parents etc.

But I agree that guys sense when a woman desperately wants a relationship and has sex secretly hoping tbat he'll magically be enchanted by the p***y and will see her as wifey material afterwards.

THAT is setting oneself up for failure.

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Aren't you lucky Lala. Sounds like the exception not the rule. My point still stands.