The webs we weave...

My ex Cancer, whom I lived with for 3 yrs just lost one of our dogs. Of course, I was the first contacted. A bunch of us got together the next day, sorta a wake for the pup, cards, hugs all that good animal lover stuff. I left our other dog with him (the one in my possession) to help ease the pain and keep his other dog company. Yesterday I checked on the Cancer, he was crying so I couldn't just leave. Now my current Virgo/Leo Cusper is feeling some sort of way. He swears he's not jealous but his texts suggest otherwise as I was with Cancer for a few hours last night. I went straight home to Virgo after but he was quite irritated with me as I didn't respond to his texts (honestly didn't hear as phone was on vibrate - norm for me).

Am I wrong to console my ex as we are both grieving? Cancer feels some sort of way about me having a BF as well, he's still in love with me. I still love him, but it won't work - we have had that discussion. Need to reassure Virgo while being supportive of Cancer who will probably always be in my life on some level. Ugh!!

Thoughts?

In what way? The Cancer and I have been plutonic for years now. I've always been here for the dogs though, and I still have one which is ours - our dogs are like kids to us.

I'm a Cap! We're their for our friends and many of us keep our exes as such. Sometimes it works better like that. I still keep in touch with most of my exes and not for some romantic tie.

The dogs we adopted together when we did rescue together. So, yes, we do kinda share custody - we never put our fur babies in the middle of us and we have been sharing custody for nearly 7 years.

So I should have cut ties with my kid's dad? That's how I see it!! Maybe I should just give our other kid back and be done with it!? Regardless where he and I stand they are OUR children, one which I just lost and have cried for 2 days over now!

I'll talk to the Virgo. Comet is staying with the Cancer for now.

Impulsv, we are friends and have many mutual friends. Really not that big of a deal for me - years out.

LS, I offered, he felt a little weird about that. I figure we'll run into eachother in public at some point, will be awkward but less so.

^^he being the Virgo, but Cancer may feel some sort of funny too, he's never met anyone I've dated since him.

What IF your Virgo went and consoling his ex? What would you do?

Practice some common sense. Please.

LS, Right! The dogs! Glad you get it!! We've been doing this arrangement a long time. I even stayed at the Cancer's last year on the couch for a week after the dog we just lost had surgery. People can think it's awkward, not for the Cancer and I though!

Posted by VirgoDragirl
What IF your Virgo went and consoling his ex? What would you do?

Practice some common sense. Please.

He's friends with some and talks about how much he loved his late wife (7 yrs ironically) all the time. I'm fine with it.

ality is that it's not about the dogs at all.

Posted by lildol
he was quite irritated with me as I didn't respond to his texts (honestly didn't hear as phone was on vibrate - norm for me).

^honestly if there ever was an evening where your phone shouldn't be on silent it would be this night.

Posted by lildol
Cancer feels some sort of way about me having a BF as well, he's still in love with me.

I still love him, but it won't work - we have had that discussion.

click to expand

I could go on and on how many times you reference you and the Cancer as "we" "our" "like our kids" "our dogs" in this topic..which imply that it's you and the Cancer who are a unit and not you and your Virgo bf.

I could say more and more here but I am going to cut it short. You're going about this in a way that would make me break everything off with you. The writing is on the wall and Virgos aren't really stupid.

You and Virgo => no mention of "we" "our"
You and Cancer => WAY TOO MANY

The end.

Btw I am sure you know exactly what you're doing, starting by the topic title.

It's all fun and games til it stops being so.

I hear you LS, Cancer must feel comfortable before I bring Virgo over is what I was implying.

Damnata, because I'm discussing the Cancer and "our" dogs, nothing more.

The title was just an expression of feeling

Seriously? You know dude's in love with you, yet you drop everything to go "console" him? Way to enable.

How about you use an effing phone? Phone calls are just as effective. Drop the other dog off to keep him company, fine. But I don't see why you need to be with him for hours.

You sound like you're just being a tease, using the dogs as an excuse. I understand the mourning and all that when it comes to a loss of a pet, but the extent that you've taken it is a bit extreme and the Virgo has a right to be somewhat upset.

Are you sure you aren't using the dogs as an excuse to keep the Cancer around because you still love him? What in the world are you doing in a relationship when you have all this lingering crap going on with a clingy Cancer ex?

You know exactly what you need to do. You just want people to justify your disregard toward someone else's feelings. As everyone else said- you're just playing with fire.

People don't understand Scorpio Mars women.
No ex is worth the trouble. Not even if they drop their pants and shake their tail feather.

Oh well.

Yes, the Cancer loves me, always will as I will always love him! We know we don't work. We're not kids, pushing 50, so thanks, but not what some of you are thinking!

I spoke to him. All good. He said he doesn't feel threatened, but was perturbed that I didn't answer his texts. I can understand that. He also knows my phone is usually on vibrate and hardly ever on me. I frequently miss his calls and texts but usually get back to him within the hour.

His best friend is a woman who wanted a relationship in the past, he's always going over to assist her and even told me he loves her in the same way he loves me. Doesn't bother me. So, of course, I expect the same.

You're right Everything, communication is key. We are very transparent with each other, which goes a long way. The Virgo and I are friends first and foremost as well - he was one of my best friends.

I think it's about the "rules" you have within the relationship. For me, it would only have been natural to console my friend - that friend being an ex or not an ex. I consoled my ex when his dad died, for instance, and my bf didn't have a problem with that at all. If your ex is your friend, you treat him or her as such, meaning that you console them when they grieve. And as I underestand it, your bf knew of and accepted your friendship with cancer before this happened. No?

But.

If you sense that the ex doesn't really need consoling, but are using the situation to get to you, then don't go near him. That's just devious and ugly behaviour, imo. I mean, to use the death of your dog...nah, not acceptable, imo.

I must say, though, that you seem a tad more interested in cancer than virgo, so...idk...

...and if you do decide to console your ex...ffs, answer the phone if your bf calls!!!

...and show very very clear boundaries with the ex!!!

It was a hard lose to both of us, that truly was his buddy, so the need for consoling was real.

The Virgo was aware, I had told him a week prior the dog was going downhill fast and I needed to get over there. He was fine with that. I'm mad at myself for not going right away. The night he died I had plans to check on him the next day while the Cancer was at work. Instead I received a 1am text saying he was gone.

I am a little surprised you say I sound more interested in the Cancer. We have too much history and if we spend extended periods of time together it comes out and never pretty. There will always be a part of me that loves him, we just can't get past our differences - communication style being a biggie! As the saying goes, he's a great guy, just not great for me.

Posted by lildol
It was a hard lose to both of us, that truly was his buddy, so the need for consoling was real.

The Virgo was aware, I had told him a week prior the dog was going downhill fast and I needed to get over there. He was fine with that. I'm mad at myself for not going right away. The night he died I had plans to check on him the next day while the Cancer was at work. Instead I received a 1am text saying he was gone.

So sorry for your loss!

I meant aware of your friendship with cancer. In my book, either you are friends or you are not and in the friends package comes trying to help them heal their wounds - them being exes or not, as long as you keep clear boundaries and as long as you don't try to hide anything from your partner and as long as your partner accepted the friendship to begin with.

Posted by lildol
I am a little surprised you say I sound more interested in the Cancer. We have too much history and if we spend extended periods of time together it comes out and never pretty. There will always be a part of me that loves him, we just can't get past our differences - communication style being a biggie! As the saying goes, he's a great guy, just not great for me.

Hmm. Well, it's just in the way you write. Your writing becomes warmer when you write about cancer than when you write about virgo.

Maybe I am, maybe circumstantial

Our song for our dog
Wiz Khalifa - See You Again ft. Charlie Puth [Off??_:

This is my theme song for the Cancer though...
Carrie Underwood - Wasted:

Cancer loaned me his CC to bring our dog to the vet, came by to pick it up, Virgo was here... They met, shook hands, both told me I'm the one with the issue :/

Awsome. Problem solved. 🙂

Nice, at least you know they're good lol
it's natural to worry a little bit, but glad it seemed to wrap up okay 🙂

OP admit that you really like the attention and tension of being caught between the ex & bf.
You have had your juicy moment and have spent time with the ex.
It's all very sexy really, watching the current flame go up in flames or seeing the emotions flash across the ex's face.

A little ex vs bf tension keeps the fire stoked in the current relationship. 😉

Just don't give the ex more consideration than you do the current.
And see the end to this very soon.

Or the current bf will all of a sudden get a call "out of nowhere" from that co-worker chick who's be so into him. 😱

Posted by lildol
Yes, the Cancer loves me, always will as I will always love him! We know we don't work. We're not kids, pushing 50, so thanks, but not what some of you are thinking!

Yep you both pushing 50 pretty much validates my above comment.
At 50 a lot of women tend to feel invisible and out of touch in this society.

This type of stuff gets the blood pumping.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Seriously? You know dude's in love with you, yet you drop everything to go "console" him? Way to enable.

How about you use an effing phone? Phone calls are just as effective. Drop the other dog off to keep him company, fine. But I don't see why you need to be with him for hours.

You sound like you're just being a tease, using the dogs as an excuse. I understand the mourning and all that when it comes to a loss of a pet, but the extent that you've taken it is a bit extreme and the Virgo has a right to be somewhat upset.

Are you sure you aren't using the dogs as an excuse to keep the Cancer around because you still love him? What in the world are you doing in a relationship when you have all this lingering crap going on with a clingy Cancer ex?

You know exactly what you need to do. You just want people to justify your disregard toward someone else's feelings. As everyone else said- you're just playing with fire.

Posted by HappyCapper

Posted by lildol
I am a little surprised you say I sound more interested in the Cancer. We have too much history and if we spend extended periods of time together it comes out and never pretty. There will always be a part of me that loves him, we just can't get past our differences - communication style being a biggie! As the saying goes, he's a great guy, just not great for me.

Hmm. Well, it's just in the way you write. Your writing becomes warmer when you write about cancer than when you write about virgo.

click to expand

The title says it all. This is all titillation for OP.
There can be a sexy unique chemistry between Crabs and Goats.
She knows this is all temporary and is enjoying the moment.
Let her have her fun.

Posted by lildol
This is my theme song for the Cancer though...

And where's the one for the Virgo?

Yet again, all about the Cancer and your life before the Virgo. Not much mentioned about him beyond his being annoyed with your stupid shit.

And lol @ them saying you're the one with the issues.

Common sense. Get some.

Silly

My web is expansive, lives intertwine.

My one true love proposed to me in Feb - we have all the details planned down to our honeymoon. My family even is behind it. He's a Scorp. 20 yrs out though. The Virgo knows about him too. Asked me not to go, so I stayed. Webs are intricate, relationships beautiful. My song for the Scorp...

Another for the Virgo
There's alot

Posted by lildol
My one true love proposed to me in Feb - we have all the details planned down to our honeymoon. My family even is behind it. He's a Scorp. 20 yrs out though. The Virgo knows about him too. Asked me not to go, so I stayed. Webs are intricate, relationships beautiful. My song for the Scorp...

Que— Please explain this post to me. I'm sure I must have got that wrong.

The Pisces - who hugs my Virgo every time he sees him. My Virgo was my best friend and confidant while I struggled through the BS.

Sam Smith - I'm Not The Only One:

For the Cap, whom the Virgo knows as well and we see regularly.

Imagine Dragons - Demons (Official):

And the Taurus, whom the Virgo also knows - they all hug and kiss me still too.

Lest we forget the Taurus before that (many for him)

We all have histories and feelings...

Another for the Virgo
You Make Me Smile Lyrics By Uncle Kracker:

Posted by caliber

lol Airman and his bros a'jammin. 😆

Posted by caliber

Posted by HappyCapper

Posted by lildol
My one true love proposed to me in Feb - we have all the details planned down to our honeymoon. My family even is behind it. He's a Scorp. 20 yrs out though. The Virgo knows about him too. Asked me not to go, so I stayed. Webs are intricate, relationships beautiful. My song for the Scorp...

Que— Please explain this post to me. I'm sure I must have got that wrong.

Simple really.. lildol's been sniffin the same shit lisabethur's on.

click to expand

I don't think sniffin anything whatever covers this...

BBQ at Cancer's with the Virgo in the works.