Because we all know I'm clueless. Lesbehonest.

Synopsis: I may have played a little too much push and pull with the Gemini. Telling him repeatedly we wouldn't workout because he was a fuckboy...etc. Half kidding/ Half serious.

We go out- I tell him after, "We calling this a wrap or what?"... He gets offended. Laughs it off. But, tells me to choose my words more carefully. Says we are definitely going out again. The next morning I again sneak in casual conversation that I don't know how I feel about him, but approach it as a joke. He again gets confused and expresses it. I send a funny meme. We laugh. I ask him about a band..... Crickets. Its been crickets for two days. Which isn't a huge deal, but he usually texts all day, every day.



Should I wait it out and just see if he messages me. Or, should I reach out?

However, he did say he was going to be busy. He starts his motocross competitions on Saturday. He was out for a year with a ton of injuries so he's nervous.

I just don't know if I should I wait it out to see if he is still interested. Or, because of all my comments, maybe he is waiting for me to confirm interest. I've been a confusing bitch as usual.

I want to show I can give space, but because of my own actions wonder if hes like "fuck it. im going to make her put in the work since she wants to play so much"

Posted by Leowwwww
What's the rush?

Why don't you wait it out and see?

That's what I'm thinking. Honestly.

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow
In his place I would have checked out because I would have found your behavior disrespectful and playerish.

I can't be around someone who says they want out especially after I asked them not to do that. I do well when the other person is very interested and expresses it very clearly.

Flakey will get me walking away.

Not sure. Maybe if he is into these on/off games, he will come back.

What's his Venus and Mars?

I would have done the same!

Gemini Venus

Cancer Mars

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow
In his place I would have checked out because I would have found your behavior disrespectful and playerish.

I can't be around someone who says they want out especially after I asked them not to do that. I do well when the other person is very interested and expresses it very clearly.

Flakey will get me walking away.

Not sure. Maybe if he is into these on/off games, he will come back.

What's his Venus and Mars?

I would have done the same!

Gemini Venus

Cancer Mars

Gemini Venus- first few times will try to look beyond that and assure you with words and actions. After that it gets boring.

I would reach out. I will definitely text if I screwed repeatedly and own my mistake. At least hmu.

Were you dating him without any expectations?

I feel he liked/s you. If we try to be consistent and give you time and reassurance, we kinda like you.

click to expand

Ehhhh. I was trying to have no expectations. But in my head i convinced myself he was a player so started treating him as so. However, after some thinking. I think I was just projecting. In this situation I actually was the one who appeared to be a player. If that makes sense.

I think i'm gonna fall back until after Mercury Retrograde...and Just give myself sometime to collect my thoughts. Cause im NUTS when dating.

Posted by starlord

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow
In his place I would have checked out because I would have found your behavior disrespectful and playerish.

I can't be around someone who says they want out especially after I asked them not to do that. I do well when the other person is very interested and expresses it very clearly.

Flakey will get me walking away.

Not sure. Maybe if he is into these on/off games, he will come back.

What's his Venus and Mars?

I would have done the same!

Gemini Venus

Cancer Mars

Gemini Venus- first few times will try to look beyond that and assure you with words and actions. After that it gets boring.

I would reach out. I will definitely text if I screwed repeatedly and own my mistake. At least hmu.

Were you dating him without any expectations?

I feel he liked/s you. If we try to be consistent and give you time and reassurance, we kinda like you.

Ehhhh. I was trying to have no expectations. But in my head i convinced myself he was a player so started treating him as so. However, after some thinking. I think I was just projecting. In this situation I actually was the one who appeared to be a player. If that makes sense.

I like your sense of humour😊 But you are not a player. It should be very obvious to him that you are more insecure and actually trying to figure out what kind of a guy he is. Also you are emotionally invested, if at least about not being hurt, unlike a player.

Shame he cannot or is not making you feel more secure in the situation.

click to expand

I do need a lot of reassurance. But i dont want to admit that to myself or others....So, I make everything a joke.

Awe, Cancer Mars he may like more romantic gestures...his Venus/sun with your moon should be pretty complimentary. No more push/pull with this guy. 🤞

I cannot, for the life of me, stay sane when dating.

Like I'm all normal when I'm single but dating is a whole different cray cray me. I'm like "What am I supposed to do?"

They said Libras are all about relationships but I don't even know how to be in one.

You know, you doing the push and pull thing...I've done that when I was younger when my gut told me to run but stupid me wanted to stay and see things play out.

Why did you call him a fuckboi?

Posted by Dolluxxe
You know, you doing the push and pull thing...I've done that when I was younger when my gut told me to run but stupid me wanted to stay and see things play out.

Why did you call him a fuckboi?

It was really because of Social Media and him being so sexually inclined in conversations. I mean who knows? Maybe I'm right. I just noticed him following local girls with private accounts on the weekly. He also matched with my friend on Bumble during the time we were talking. However, we only went on two dates....but we talked for like 18 hours a day non-stop. I wasnt straight out rude to him... But I very playfully let him know... I was NOT all in, and was suspect of him.

Posted by ufo
give him space and honestly you may have had done too much

the gem i'm with gets low key flustered if i say or do something but doesn't voice it but when i am open with him he lets me know that he feels things but doesn't feel the need to project cuz it's not me it's him and vice versa

so i get that astrology based those characteristics are true online but be more open to getting to know him as a person as oppose to assuming who he might be allow him to prove that to you

Noted. Sound advice.

Posted by Moonbutter
Awe, Cancer Mars he may like more romantic gestures...his Venus/sun with your moon should be pretty complimentary. No more push/pull with this guy. 🤞

We actually get along so well!!!! However, something about him I don't trust. I also, don't trust men easily though. So to be able to differentiate my intuition to paranoia can be hard. Its the initial dating stages that I'm horrible at. Once I'm secure, I'm good.

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow
In his place I would have checked out because I would have found your behavior disrespectful and playerish.

I can't be around someone who says they want out especially after I asked them not to do that. I do well when the other person is very interested and expresses it very clearly.

Flakey will get me walking away.

Not sure. Maybe if he is into these on/off games, he will come back.

What's his Venus and Mars?

I would have done the same!

Gemini Venus

Cancer Mars

Gemini Venus- first few times will try to look beyond that and assure you with words and actions. After that it gets boring.

I would reach out. I will definitely text if I screwed repeatedly and own my mistake. At least hmu.

Were you dating him without any expectations?

I feel he liked/s you. If we try to be consistent and give you time and reassurance, we kinda like you.

Ehhhh. I was trying to have no expectations. But in my head i convinced myself he was a player so started treating him as so. However, after some thinking. I think I was just projecting. In this situation I actually was the one who appeared to be a player. If that makes sense.

With Geminis express your concerns directly in a no nonsense way. Don't expect us to read your mind because we may imagine the worst. That Cancer Mars may need some extra love and sensitivity. And Gemini Venus needs someone who is going to go with the flow.

Instead of texting, is it possible to meet more often?

click to expand

He is a Firefighter and does competitive racing. Not a ton of free time.

Yeah. I'm just going to fall all the way back. If he likes me, he knows where I am. He is the one who didnt respond to my last message. So, ill take a hint.

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Moonbutter
Awe, Cancer Mars he may like more romantic gestures...his Venus/sun with your moon should be pretty complimentary. No more push/pull with this guy. 🤞

We actually get along so well!!!! However, something about him I don't trust. I also, don't trust men easily though. So to be able to differentiate my intuition to paranoia can be hard. Its the initial dating stages that I'm horrible at. Once I'm secure, I'm good.

click to expand

I’m the same way. Sometimes you just have to hope for the best and just let go to see where things can go. For the first few months just be aware and enjoy the ride but don’t get too attached.

Posted by solidsnake
Wise Gem

Dodging that cardinal chokehold

Chokehold? I'm the opposite of a chokehold! stoppppp. hahaha

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by solidsnake
Wise Gem

Dodging that cardinal chokehold

Chokehold? I'm the opposite of a chokehold! stoppppp. hahaha

click to expand

I like to think of myself as more of a retractable leash 😝

haha... when they run too far, that shit snaps them back. hahaha

Posted by heliumfiasco
haha... when they run too far, that shit snaps them back. hahaha

😉

Posted by SuninLibra
He is a Gem and a firefighter gurrrrlll !

Take it easy relax and have fun you don't have to take things seriously.

We libras can't be in a relationship cuz we're too serious about finding that love.

Screw Love Live your life

I know, I know. He is HOT! Ugh.... Why do I have to act up so much?!?!

I cannot bring myself to message him.

Come to meeeeeee sir. hahaha

Posted by solidsnake

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by solidsnake
Wise Gem

Dodging that cardinal chokehold

Chokehold? I'm the opposite of a chokehold! stoppppp. hahaha

J/s

If u give a gem ultimatums

A & B

They are more likely to choose Z

And no one knows what “z” is but them

click to expand

I never ever gave him any ultimatums. I at least no better than that!

Posted by solidsnake

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by solidsnake
Wise Gem

Dodging that cardinal chokehold

Chokehold? I'm the opposite of a chokehold! stoppppp. hahaha

J/s

If u give a gem ultimatums

A & B

They are more likely to choose Z

And no one knows what “z” is but them

click to expand

Thank God im not an ultimatum kind of person. I just use emotional manipulation 😈 haha j/k kinda 🤓

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by solidsnake

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by solidsnake
Wise Gem

Dodging that cardinal chokehold

Chokehold? I'm the opposite of a chokehold! stoppppp. hahaha

J/s

If u give a gem ultimatums

A & B

They are more likely to choose Z

And no one knows what “z” is but them

I never ever gave him any ultimatums. I at least no better than that!

click to expand

👍

Posted by SuninLibra

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by SuninLibra
He is a Gem and a firefighter gurrrrlll !

Take it easy relax and have fun you don't have to take things seriously.

We libras can't be in a relationship cuz we're too serious about finding that love.

Screw Love Live your life

I know, I know. He is HOT! Ugh.... Why do I have to act up so much?!?!

I cannot bring myself to message him.

Come to meeeeeee sir. hahaha

I feel ya. Been there b4 there's nothing wrong in texting a guy as long as ur not being clingy or desperate. A good luck text actually can bring him to respond and a sexy pic of u lol

If he doesn't respond within the day then eff him.

click to expand

Girrrllllll.... I like where your head is at. Imma sit back a few more days then Saturday on his race ill send a seductive pic and good luck! He lovvvvvesssssss when I send selfies. So weird.

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Dolluxxe
You know, you doing the push and pull thing...I've done that when I was younger when my gut told me to run but stupid me wanted to stay and see things play out.

Why did you call him a fuckboi?

It was really because of Social Media and him being so sexually inclined in conversations. I mean who knows? Maybe I'm right. I just noticed him following local girls with private accounts on the weekly. He also matched with my friend on Bumble during the time we were talking. However, we only went on two dates....but we talked for like 18 hours a day non-stop. I wasnt straight out rude to him... But I very playfully let him know... I was NOT all in, and was suspect of him.

click to expand

Social media ruins everything. Also, those stuff you mentioned doesn't make him shady unless you two are officially in a relationship.

Yep, taking a step back would do you good. Calm down girl lol 😂

Posted by Leowwwww

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Leowwwww
What's the rush?

Why don't you wait it out and see?

That's what I'm thinking. Honestly.

What are you looking for?

A relationship or fwb?

If you tell a guy you're okay with fwb that's clearly sending a different type of message.

Before wondering what he wants, you should be firm about what you want in the first place.

As for his intentions... all you can do is believe what he says at this point.

No offense but your threads often bring up the same issues only its with different guys.

click to expand

We both agreed we didn't want a FWB. We wanted to just to take it slow. I just joked all the time about how id not date him, etc. I told him i'm this way. I have been direct.

I told him he shouldnt date me because im nuts. He said "I know you are. I can handle your bitch ass. I can handle crazy, no problem. But can YOU handle busy?"

Seee.... my crazy ass needs all of you to walk me off the ledge. Love this place. hahaha

Posted by Leowwwww

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Leowwwww
What's the rush?

Why don't you wait it out and see?

That's what I'm thinking. Honestly.

What are you looking for?

A relationship or fwb?

If you tell a guy you're okay with fwb that's clearly sending a different type of message.

Before wondering what he wants, you should be firm about what you want in the first place.

As for his intentions... all you can do is believe what he says at this point.

No offense but your threads often bring up the same issues only its with different guys.

click to expand

Oh, its for sure an ongoing issue. I thought I was doing good this time! haha NOPE

It seems like your projecting all your insecurities on him. Who cares if he's a fuck boi. Men will slowly weed out and end up choosing who they want to be with, just like women. You guys are dating, you're having fun and you have good conversations but you're still throwing out crap basically saying he's not the type of guy you like. It's a buzzkill.

Why can't you just go with the flow? Take it day by day. The more time he spends with you, it will be obvious who he is wanting to share it with. He can't be fucking someone if he's on the phone with you 18 hours. He seems to enjoy what you guys talk about, until you insult his character.

You're pushing him away with your own insecurities, you should ask him straight questions, not opposite crap that you think he wants to hear or that you think is happening.

If I was dating someone and we were having a great time and she said "so this is it, then?" I wouldn't ask any questions, it seems like your not interested and I'd cut you lose. Why would you say negative stuff like that if you are having a good time?

And looking at his social media isn't gonna help. It's going to create even more of an issue.

Posted by SuninLibra
Wait a minute don't you wanna see him race? Or you think its a bad idea?

He said he would be too nervous if I was there for his first race back. He said "Let me get my feet wet again. Be patient"



Soooo. He posted a pic on IG right now. So, I impulsively said fuck it and text him "Your ass looks fire in that IG pic son.".... He messaged me back "Youre still little spoon, dont forget that."

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by SuninLibra
Wait a minute don't you wanna see him race? Or you think its a bad idea?

He said he would be too nervous if I was there for his first race back. He said "Let me get my feet wet again. Be patient"



Soooo. He posted a pic on IG right now. So, I impulsively said fuck it and text him "Your ass looks fire in that IG pic son.".... He messaged me back "Youre still little spoon, dont forget that."

click to expand

😂 Fuckn love gems ❤️

Posted by nano
I agree with everyone on this post except the starlord person....LOL to expect men to know the intricacies behind the things women do. To say shame on him for not coddling the push and pull this early in the game. To me, this person (I assume woman) does not seem to understand men. Men are clueless, dude! You gotta spell shit out word for word for them sometimes. Guys are not mind readers and its not his job to reassure a person constantly at the very first stage of dating. Play it cool... reassurance comes later when you have a better feel for each other and know where you both stand.

This guy is confused as fuck. You might have lost him. If this were me and it was THIS early into the dating game, I would probably think you are too much work and high maintenance. I would back off and you probably wouldn't hear from me again. I think he was telling you the truth too... gemini men can definitely do crazy, but disrespectful..... hmmm I don't know. It depends on how much he likes you.

Another thing to consider - on the too much work and high maintenance thing.... he might just consider sex now because he could see you being too much work emotionally, esp given his busy schedule - does he like you enough to invest his little freetime into a relationship?

Depending on how much you like him, and I think you do, you might even consider apologizing to him if you think that your behaivor was out of line. You should just be honest with him - can you show up to his motocross race? Say something like - "Hey I'm really sorry that it seems like I've been pushing you away, but the truth is that I do like you. I tend to self sabotage when I date as a defense mechanism and I know we laugh things off a lot, but I was concerned about a few of your behaviors and just wanted to know where we truly stand."

But then you have to listen to him and can't keep behaving that way!

I talk about my relationship a lot in therapy and my therapist says that all these psych studies have been done and it seems the #1 reason for fights and breakup, is because we behave according to expectation vs according to what we actually want. I.e. - you treated the gem the whole time like he was a fuckboy trying to fuck you and then fuck you over, because you expected that of him, but we don't even know if that was the case yet.

Give him time to let him reveal himself to you. Take things slow so that you don't do anything you might later regret and you will be able to see him with clearer vision and thus act accordingly.

I also don't agree with waiting this one out - you need to make the next move after what happened between you two and I would make a sincere one. No jokes, selfies, etc.

You are right! We are talking right now. Im going to apologize. I am not the best at ANY of this.

Posted by nano
Anyway. My therapist suggested a book that goes into depth on what you explain to be going on with you and dating. I'm going to order it and see if it's any good. Its essentially a book on why a woman completely loses herself and her sanity when she starts to date or gets in a relationship. Why we feel we have our shit together when we are single, and why we fall apart when it comes to adding another person into the equation.

For me, I feel like men intrude on my goals. I have to pick relationship or goal. Because he gets in the way.... ONLY in my mind. You can see how that can become an issue. I'm kind of excited to read it, because this has been a problem for me in all 3 of my relationships.

Very interesting. Definitely let me know!!!!

Trust me everyone...I know I am fucked dating. VERY aware. haha

Don't be so hard on yourself. All Libras do that crap too.

Posted by AerialView
Don't be so hard on yourself. All Libras do that crap too.

Awwwww!!! You're so sweet!

Posted by nano

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by nano
Anyway. My therapist suggested a book that goes into depth on what you explain to be going on with you and dating. I'm going to order it and see if it's any good. Its essentially a book on why a woman completely loses herself and her sanity when she starts to date or gets in a relationship. Why we feel we have our shit together when we are single, and why we fall apart when it comes to adding another person into the equation.

For me, I feel like men intrude on my goals. I have to pick relationship or goal. Because he gets in the way.... ONLY in my mind. You can see how that can become an issue. I'm kind of excited to read it, because this has been a problem for me in all 3 of my relationships.

Very interesting. Definitely let me know!!!!

Trust me everyone...I know I am fucked dating. VERY aware. haha

I think something positive can be said that we are at least aware of things we do... some women are completely not. That being said, I have identified the problem but it doesn't help me come to a solution on it all these years. I literally go to therapy, $ 200/session to figure out why I have similar inclinations. I don't want to be shitty forever, you know. Love the men who love you and all that. It is such an exhausting journey... I go and talk and talk. Explain my reasoning. She evaluates me and gives me feedback. Usually I hold it all in, and once I leave and get in my car... cry my eyes out 😆

click to expand

Awwww. At least youre working in all out and being proactive. Props to you. I've been handling it on my own. I got out of a 4 year abusive relationship almost 2 years ago. My dating life has been poor since. I keep thinking I can handle it with cognitive reasoning....but i keep ending up in the same spot.

Oh is it the “why men love bitches” book ? What a great read showing the perspective of a man’s side and really changed my whole thinking.

Posted by nano

Posted by Moonbutter
Oh is it the “why men love bitches” book ? What a great read showing the perspective of a man’s side and really changed my whole thinking.

Nah this is a different one... she just gave me the recommendation yesterday afternoon and I have it written down, I can't even remember the title or author. I didn't read why men love bitches either. Is that book just essentially saying that men love women who assert themselves? Or is there a lot more to it?

click to expand

Ok... yeah there’s a lot more to it. Basically it’s about avoiding becoming dependent on what the guy wants and always concerned about his interest level. A real page turner.

Update: Disregard all of this. Everything is fine. He likes my humor. Knows im only half kidding and doesnt seem bothered. He said " I told you that I know youre crazy. But I can handle you easily. Have some patience and calm the fuck down".... I hear you boo.



We're heading out for coffee.

Will keep you posted when I lose my shit again.

Thanks for tuning in.

How do you guys get the non-sun signs so fast? Like damn.

Posted by heliumfiasco
Synopsis: I may have played a little too much push and pull with the Gemini. Telling him repeatedly we wouldn't workout because he was a fuckboy...etc. Half kidding/ Half serious.

We go out- I tell him after, "We calling this a wrap or what?"... He gets offended. Laughs it off. But, tells me to choose my words more carefully. Says we are definitely going out again. The next morning I again sneak in casual conversation that I don't know how I feel about him, but approach it as a joke. He again gets confused and expresses it. I send a funny meme. We laugh. I ask him about a band..... Crickets. Its been crickets for two days. Which isn't a huge deal, but he usually texts all day, every day.



Should I wait it out and just see if he messages me. Or, should I reach out?

However, he did say he was going to be busy. He starts his motocross competitions on Saturday. He was out for a year with a ton of injuries so he's nervous.

I just don't know if I should I wait it out to see if he is still interested. Or, because of all my comments, maybe he is waiting for me to confirm interest. I've been a confusing bitch as usual.

I want to show I can give space, but because of my own actions wonder if hes like "fuck it. im going to make her put in the work since she wants to play so much"

Geminis are insecure.

Don't fret.

If he's worth it / can get over himself he will rise to the challenge.

Trust me you want someone who wants to work for it.

Posted by heliumfiasco
I think i'm gonna fall back until after Mercury Retrograde...and Just give myself sometime to collect my thoughts. Cause im NUTS when dating.

EXCELLENT PLAN

never underestimate the power of mercury in retrograde

I have ALOT of men on my social media but I ignore ALL messages unless it’s from the ONE guy I like, I’m just very sociable and I see no need to not accept people on my social media because they’re male yknow? If they creepy they get deleted though....

but just be carful he could be a fuckboi, Gemini’s tends to be players without meaning to, ive noticed as I’ve gotten older that I draw more attention than I realised and my every sentence is flirty (without meaning to be).

Okay- Gemini’s are so damn picky (even the men) but when we like someone (even a little) we’re easy.

What I’m trying to say is if he likes you and only you your comments have probably hurt him, but if he likes another girl to you’re shit outa luck. (We only talk hours on end with people we like).

Soooo how are things— @heliumfiasco

Posted by Moonbutter
Soooo how are things— @heliumfiasco

Done. It was fun. We both lost interest 🙂

I just want the Leo to call! haha

Posted by ufo

Posted by Moonbutter
Oh is it the “why men love cookiemonsteres” book ? What a great read showing the perspective of a man’s side and really changed my whole thinking.

out of sheer curiosity i started reading it and tbh it is so cringe, she's writing a book for women to be something they're not basically which is what nice girls do anyways... what a lame click to expand

click to expand

It’s all about perspective... there is nothing wrong with getting another perspective on things 🤷🏻‍♀️

Typical Libra bitchcraft, being all jellyspined passive aggressive to make the guy leave cuz they don't have the balls to be honest about their own intentions.



Leo men won't put up with your shit for long either, so grow up girlie.