Something so Beautiful

I wanted to share, and any feed back, comments, male, female, no matter the sign are welcome. I am here to share. Thanks for taking the time to read it and comment.



Something so beautiful

Posted Apr 21

I must say, this has taken some doing to realize and bring here to this blog.
I have experienced what I believe to be the most beautiful kind of love one can experience. There is a wonderful thing I shared w/another, totally comfortable, total love, open, honesty, sharing, caring, no limits, no boundaries, i would do anything for this person, literally anything. I found him to be honorable, noble, strong, confidant, capable, open, honest, and so much more, so much there are no words to describe what I felt about him, towards him, much less thought about him, found him to be. It was like no other love I have ever known. I was patient beyond what I thought capable, I had compassion for any possible reason needed or could be thought of, I was thoughtless and selfless in my emotional state towards him, found it un-interfering and inviting. I found it to be something I would totally surrender too w/out cause or actual reason, just knew what it was and it was good. I found a "higher love" than I had ever known before, and this was because of him. I was willing to wait forever for him, and he had no idea. None, no idea i felt as deeply as I did, nor that I felt the way I did, for this I did not put upon him, I accepted it for where I was and realized, he was not and that was okay. I stayed a course to be what IDK and was okay with that as well, listening to what he told me, understanding completely until it was beyond pain, enduring all of it and taking it all in, inside me, inside my head, my heart, my soul, taking it to GOD and leaving it at his feet, time after time after time. This was so much bigger than me and yet so much smaller than I knew I could handle it and what was in store for me and he. I somehow had this solid feeling, and expressed it to others, but never to the man who caused it inside me and within me.

For he was not ready for it, or to be aware of it, or to hear it and somehow, i knew that, yet, it was he who actually expressed it to me. I said I would grow old w/this man, that I wanted too, I would marry him, something I never even did w/my girls father I spent 18 years with, and thought I would never do again, yet I never say never, I dont believe in it, LOL, and yet, I had expressed a forever deal to others, not the man who planted the seed that grew within me to be this bright beautiful thing to me, within me and comforted me in his absence in a way I can not describe. The comfort I felt with him, beside him, even while alone, something else I have never know before and yet find hard to describe, for the yearning to feel him physically was there, to hold me, yet I did not need that from him either, I somehow thought I had what I need as well. I lived this, I learned this and the experience of this, is something I would not have missed for the world. Like the song says, I could have done w/out the pain, but the dance, no, that is one dance I would have not wanted to miss, it was the most indelible impression life has left on me w/out the birth of a child or loss of a child or father.
To share this with you must be confusing, but what have I to do but share it?
Now it is tainted, it is not so beautiful and not untouched by human nature of destruction. Now it is but a memory in my mind and somewhere with lots of time. As my heart has been on the mend for sometime from what I thought was a friend, is now almost healed over and ready for another. I wonder if my future will ever be so bright or my nights so long or if I will ever feel a feeling, emotion, or bond so strong? IDK but I sure hope I do, for what I had with him, was totally brand new. I can only imagine what it will be like to feel that feeling with another guy and to be open to receiving it so rare in such a manner that someone will actually care, enough to show me and tell me and bring it all to view for not only me to see, but others to experience too. I cant for see the future, but somehow I know, that GOD will again, make love like that only grow. With all of this I have found peace, and again my life is such at ease, I welcome to the world a brand new me, and all in all, I have been set free.

that is sooo beautiful!!

Thank you both, sorry I made you cry!
None of it easy, but now, to know I made that inside me, I wish I had the words to explain and share it. Thank you both again for your comments.

PGA

Thank you, yes I wrote this. I lived it and I experienced it w/Virgo that you have read about. Thank you.

I did post some other writings on the writings thread. I do write some stuff, just not too much shared here, IDK y, but decided to share it, maybe as I said, if i dont share it? what do i do w/it for others to see and know?
Hopefully someone else can relate, learn or inspire to be shared a higher level they were fearful of? IDK
Just felt like sharing it here, I blog on other sites and such.


Best compliment, is the fact you said "Makes me want to stop being selfish and love like this woman does!" Thank you!

i totally agree, and there is ALOT written about my experiences as a single female in the past three years, some more like daily blog, others like short stories, and lots of poetry. I too like you do not or did not feel like my "writings" were good, but look at the compliment you gave me of how I simply tried to share a experience in my life with others. Feel better still takes time to work it all out and through it to have learned from it and be self aware of total honesty within myself, but so many dont put that work in, I find I am appreciated for it, and criticized and envied and BLESSED! My blog on myspace has been hit pretty hard, had to shut it down for a long time, but, open, i touch some I dont know, and lots of females will drop me private lines of appreciation and association to relate. Share what you have somewhere w/someone, it is rewarding.........

GEM LOVE TO YA!

PGA

So when he sends you a Happy Mothers Day text? A flood of emotions immediately bares upon me, yet, with that, comes so much for me, yet not for he? IDK I said goodbye and felt free again, w/this contact, i feel restraints....not of my doing...not of my control, because the emotions just FLOWED!

This week, I heard from him, we talked, I am confused, scared, and in great emotional distress. With losing my Daddy unexpectedly in April, dealing with my mom and he loss of her home, her husband, her best friend, other family being vutures, thieves and abusers of her, and my daughter graduating, my oldest coming home from school/college for the summer to help me w/mom and my son losing his son this past week too, (not to death), HELP, some insight please, I honestly love this man.

to be honest, i haven't been folling everything with your virgo man. the only advice i can give is, you can only deal with things one at a time. i know, easier said than done. you have sooo much going on that it is over-whelming you and while over-whelmed, it's hard to think clearly. take an hour off, away from the stress with a good bubble bath, or just some time alone. first, figure out what you want. maybe your virgo is finally ready. if he truly loves you, he'll respect your decisions, no matter what you decide.

*huggs*

folling=following

Misslissa,
that is the hard part, I had convienced myself that he played my emotions to get what he wanted, between my legs.
I had decided the connection we shared, he no longer respected or recognized w/any importance, as he again disappeared for 5 months, he is not that into me.........I accepted that, and i dont want to lose him, if he is truly ready, and there for the "taking" as i truly love this man........So many do cost themselves exactly what they want, and, I am so not in a solid place emotionally right now period, yet, OH IDK IDK IDK its so hard to put into words for me

i get what you're saying. 🙂

things are always sooo much harder when you're emotionally stressed. you don't want to invite him back into your life, if he's just gonna do the same thing, but you don't want to turn him away, cuz what if he IS ready. with an emotionally stressed mind, it's very hard to make a clear decision.

try to take some time out for yourself. i know with all the busy things going on around you, and all the responsibilities that have been put on you, it will be very hard to do. but to put it nicely, it's for your sanity. if you lose it, it will effect the ppl you love. i have to take care of 6 ppl and somedays, i just walk away and go be by myself. it gets to me more than they care realize.

if he IS ready, he will wait for you. he will want you to make that decision with clarity. he will want you to be the best you.

I am thinking like you expressed right here "anything worth having is worth waiting on"
I also feel as if he was coming back to see if there was a door open "theroy" and not so much for me. I have so much on my mind, I want to let him be the person I love in the writing, and I guess I still will forget, he is not that man, but that is the man I made him to be. Does that make sense? Yes, folks who care, I hear from, funny with all on my plate, I have not heard from him since again, and if he is waiting on my decision, which I really dont think he is.......then he will be there in the end. I am worth it. Thanks so much for supporting me through this very difficult time MissLissa, thank you and bless you!

it makes perfect sense. 🙂

oh, no worries. it's the least i could do for helping me with my father. 🙂

How is that going with your dad btw? R things better at home?

things are alil better. karma has finally taken over. so, i'm just gonna let the pieces fall where they might. 🙂

I wish Karma would slap this Virgo one way or the other, LMAO!

LOL! it will, just never when we want it to. lol!

I hope you read this but sounds like you met your twin flame in life, your story sounds like mine. You should read up on twin flames. So dont fear as no matter what happens when teh time is right and he is ready. You will always be connected some how so as you dont, dont fear the loss. Your heart knows. and so in God you trust.
In twin flames sometimes that happens one is not ready fo rthe other. I met mine (or feel i did) we met and i was not ready, we met again and love blossemd yet life got in the way and he was not ready. bUt please go look it up as its a great read.

Posted by waterbaby
I hope you read this but sounds like you met your twin flame in life, your story sounds like mine. You should read up on twin flames. So dont fear as no matter what happens when teh time is right and he is ready. You will always be connected some how so as you dont, dont fear the loss. Your heart knows. and so in God you trust.
In twin flames sometimes that happens one is not ready fo rthe other. I met mine (or feel i did) we met and i was not ready, we met again and love blossemd yet life got in the way and he was not ready. bUt please go look it up as its a great read.

I will indeed look into this, I dont really read much, except on the internet, but I will look into this, thank you waterbaby

Thats ok, but once you do read about it im sure youll see how true your story is to the paths of twin flames. Good luck x

Something So Beautiful Continued


So 9 months and I have not seen

He finally achieved the face to face

I finally seen his lovely face

We sat all night, we talked for hours

Nither one of us, could resist the power

For the gentleman held the lady

In his eyes, his mind, his heart, his kind,

inside of her, he can see, the man he wants to be

He opens and says come in, he called her friend

He finds her to lead his path to follow whatever he ask

He tells her to take him there, come inside see what is here

He invites her into his life, he does this open

without any light

The night smiles on them both

It is for only two to hold

he calls for her, there is no answer

She only has room for one, he is holding her hand

He is the man

He lives, he grows, his strife is untold

He shares it with her, his life, his mistakes

He wants her to know, the ones he makes

He can not loose her now, for he just now found

what was always around him

She gave him love, she unconditionally prayed above

GOD sent him to her again, this time, a better man.
He somehow wants her to understand
He says she has him in his mind, intellect, he wants her to know
he is a Virgo, he wants her to know, there is more to her for him.
He told her she has him, she gets him, she has never sterred him wrong
He wants her to know, to him, she is more than a song
Take me there, teach me, he tells her this repeatedly
She is scared, she is full, she is satisfied, she does not want to be a FOOL

LDS

090509

so powerful! i love it! 🙂

Posted by misslissa
so powerful! i love it! 🙂

Thank you, I lived it......not sure how well i wrote it......thank you!

PGA... I. Absolutely. Understand. Where. You're. Coming. From.

don't think for a second that your story is tainted or is not part of something much bigger. you are so not alone i can't even express it to u. it may seem unfathomable but i'm sure that u, like me, thought it unbelievable when u came across the man. i, too, have met a man like him. i wouldn't be who i am today, nor have experienced such a heightened level of love, without that man. it sounds to me like u had a falling out. did u have to let him go? like i had to let mine go? there is something so powerful and seemingly so ill-fated for these unions. he and i were electric and otherworldly. we transcended time and space and logic itself. he was my greatest lesson learned. my greatest teacher. i will take him with me everywhere. though we can not be together right now, even as friends, i realize it doesn't matter.

Posted by Perfect Gem Angel

Posted by misslissa
so powerful! i love it! 🙂

Thank you, I lived it......not sure how well i wrote it......thank you!

click to expand

i think, you wrote that, for lack of a better word, perfectly! the feelings that come out of it are just tremendous and a perfect description of what it's like to be in that situation. you make it seem very easy to put feelings into words. i know how difficult that REALLY is. i struggle with it on a daily basis.

Feels like a fear

Smells like a rose

Taste like nothing

that has ever crossed my lips before

Quenches like total satisfaction

Timing is good, not perfect

Touch is like no description of words

Sound is like it belongs

Desire is high and HOT

Moods are willing and able

Smiles are showering us

Eyes are past the soul

Heart is beating with flow

flow of cool breeze

Pounding a Hard Rock Tune

with a Jazz man blowing threw it all

Talking is running out and over

Take away is good

waiting for again

This is what is like

Hope you can feel it too

Needs are all satisfied
LDS
090809

Posted by misslissa
things are alil better. karma has finally taken over. so, i'm just gonna let the pieces fall where they might. 🙂

This is where I am trying to keep me/my head/my heart.
I can not find words to describe, or it does not feel like it, but man are they running through my head!
I think tonight I am going to come back and try harder, to express it and share it!

and answer to not being ALONE in this, I FEEL YA!

much love and peace
PGA

Okay, this is the best I can do folks.

I have decided to put him back on the shelf so to speak. I did not wish him a happy birthday, this was hard. But, I am good, we are good when we seen each other, much again shared and he and I, well, IDK and that is okay.

I am back to my busy life and doing my thing, he has plenty on his plate too. Therefore, I am doing me and again he can go do him. No, we did not discuss this at all, as we never do. We just go w/out words of departure. I carry him everywhere I go and I hope the same is true. I am still open to meet someone w/the same or better relationship, he will "loose' me then for sure. Until then, that has not happened and its in God's hands, he knows better than me.

I will stay true to me, and keep on movin, letting go of any expectations, and letting go of any preconceived notions of intentions. I heard everything he said to me, and I again watched the actions. If I hear from him, I will see him, if I dont, oh well, I will write it down, take a little note, and remind myself how he never shows. LOL

He is a VIRGO!

PGA, it takes a lot of strength to make the decisions you've made. 🙂 it's soo easy to just fall back into it with a simple, "hi! how ya been?".

Posted by misslissa
PGA, it takes a lot of strength to make the decisions you've made. 🙂 it's soo easy to just fall back into it with a simple, "hi! how ya been?".

I am finding it easier to do, than "wait" for him. I have not been w/anyone else still, though offers are always there, I will do my me time, hope i do, and expect I wont ... hear from him that is.

It would have been easy, you are so so very correct, and it was easy the two times we did spend time together, it just works, clicks, is there, it is what it is, and it is okay and good til the head gets all involved and the friends of "how it should be" etc etc etc, so w/that, this is a "just the two of us" kind of thing to me, we know, it dont matter what others think or believe, and its good when it is.

thank you for expressing your support to me, I really do appreciate it more than you know, for this, I wont be discussing w/family or friends really anymore. I have a couple MEN FRIENDS who i bounce off of, and I came to this one on my own, the entire way through. I do believe he wants me to "keep myself" to him and him alone still, but hey, when you aint on top of your business, the business ends up elsewhere getting the attention it feels it needs, I am sure you understand!

have a wonderful week/weekend lady!

no worries. 🙂 i totally understand.

thank you and you have a wonderful week/weekend, as well!

OMG! Two years, and I am on a indescribably on a cloud..........its official, we are a "we" and I am "wow" and I can not put into words, the happiness. I am speechless and content.
He is ready, it is me and we are we....no expectations, no titles, just understanding and good! I feel like I just lived a dream........needless to say, happy only touches what I feel, but so very very happy today!

cograts PGA! 😄

Posted by misslissa
cograts PGA! 😄

Thank you!

I wish I could put the feelings into words, but, i cant! LOL

Got a stuck grin like I just hit a pipe or something, LOL

We had soooooooooooooo much fun, just plain FUN! And he was sooooooooo expressive into "me" wow,wow,wow! Talk about a man w/some way with words, yet, actions in fast forward, wow wow wow. LMAO

IT IS GOOD!

i am really happy for you! i think, after two years, you deserve to be extremely happy! good luck and keep having fun!! 😄

Posted by misslissa
i am really happy for you! i think, after two years, you deserve to be extremely happy! good luck and keep having fun!! 😄

Keep me in your prayers! I am as happy and content as I have ever been. I must say, I have never known this before, and it feels sooooooooooo good and right!
He is moving this weekend, and I hope things dont change, only time will tell w/him. Its hard to explain how I trust him, yet I feel like I am waiting for him to disappear and this is too good to be true or to last for too long. Can he take it for very long? the good? IDK
He is some kind of special, and I do enjoy him immensely. He cares, we care, I am still a bit scared, but yet content to be where I am and where we are with this relationship.

It feels so good to love.

Posted by Perfect Gem Angel

Posted by misslissa
i am really happy for you! i think, after two years, you deserve to be extremely happy! good luck and keep having fun!! 😄

Keep me in your prayers! I am as happy and content as I have ever been. I must say, I have never known this before, and it feels sooooooooooo good and right!
He is moving this weekend, and I hope things dont change, only time will tell w/him. Its hard to explain how I trust him, yet I feel like I am waiting for him to disappear and this is too good to be true or to last for too long. Can he take it for very long? the good? IDK
He is some kind of special, and I do enjoy him immensely. He cares, we care, I am still a bit scared, but yet content to be where I am and where we are with this relationship.

It feels so good to love.

click to expand

sorry for the delayed response. my internet is down. right now i'm borrowing. lol!

i will keep you in my prayers. only time will tell what may happen. loving someone really is the most wonderful feeling!! 🙂

I find myself ready to run
Not getting exactly what I want
Scared
I find this new fear in my life (Aqua is stalking again, this time I am really in fear of my life)
It makes me look at each day I spend, in each way
I want what we have, I am just not patient enough
I want to stay, but I feel scattered and less than what this man needs and wants
I hear him, I hear him loud an clear that this is the tip of places he has not been and
he compares to what he knows
I feel he really is scared to let it grow
me too
how do two so complete
so wonderful and unique
fear something so unknown

I want to run
I dont know
I want to know
I am scared
I am ready for the thrill
Ready to let this void fill
can he do it
can he stay
can he feel the rath
he actually made?