Thinking about dumping my Gemini

First off I'm a Sag, he's a Gem, we have amazing chemistry, and really love each other deeply because we were friends before we started dating. BUT, lately he's been pissing me off quite a lot. He's lazy within the relationship a lot of times, never really tells me how he feels about me even if I ask him to he says he has to be "in the mood to talk about it" and I don't ask for much honestly I'm not high maintenance. I just want a little bit of reassurance every so often, it's nice to hear how much they care about you, ya know. Also he plays video games a lot, and by a lot I mean almost all day every day. I honestly wouldn't care, as long as I get a little bit of undivided attention at some point, but he's just selfish and doesn't see it as important. You might think by all of this that he doesn't care about me or he's playing me, but I know for a fact that's not true, because he honestly needs me more than I need him, he has a lot of emotional issues and I'm the only person in his entire life he's fully opened up to, so when he's upset, he comes to me. Another thing is he says things that he shouldn't say to me, like backhanded complements almost, or something rude, which I usually understand that he didn't mean it that way, but I'm getting tired of it. I mean it's nice that we can talk about everything, but there's some things you should just keep to yourself. For instance earlier he got drunk, and I was driving us back home, I asked him in the car how drunk he was and he said it was wearing off, so being drunk shouldn't be an excuse. Anyway, we're laying in bed at home and he starts talking about these girls he remembers from when he was in like 2nd grade and they were in 8th and they thought he was a cute little kid so they would come up to him all the time and stuff. Then he was saying how he could probably talk to one of the teachers at his old school and try to figure out who they were. Then he said "what do you think they'd do if they saw me now?" And I said "idk they probably wouldn't know it was you" and then he said "do you think I could get some?" I was pretty pissed when he said this, I mean why the fuck would you think that's a good question to ask your girlfriend? I understand that guys think with their dicks, but it's called having a filter. His excuse was "it's all hypothetical, it's never going to actually happen" but no it gets worse. He then has the audacity to say he's been really horny all day and wanted to have sex when we got home, ofcourse I turn him down, and say he doesn't deserve it. Then he was like "are you really that mad?" I responded "I'm not mad, I'm just annoyed. If you really wanted to have sex then you should've been loving instead of rude." And then I tried to keep talking to him about it and he said he was tired and he was trying to go to sleep. Then I was even more annoyed because he wasn't too tired to try and have sex with me, but doesn't wanna talk to me. I've been contemplating breaking up with him for about a week but the past few days he had been doing a lot better being sweet and stuff, so I was like maybe I'm just overreacting a little bit. He has always been somewhat up and down with his affection/emotions I think it's the 2 different sides of him (Gemini), one being sweet and the other being standoffish and stupid. I've dealt with it for a long time and usually just get over things after a while but right now my patience is running very thin. One of my friends told me I should give him an ultimatum and say basically if he doesn't start treating me the way I deserve then things need to end. I don't know if this would work though. I mean I don't like being controlled and I know neither does he, but at this point just talking to him about it does nothing. He just acts like it shouldn't be a big deal, and then tries to make excuses. I don't want to give up on our relationship, I love him with all my heart, but I'm not going to let someone treat me like shit half the time, and only try when they feel like it. Don't know what to do...

Also we are both Aqua Moons if that helps explain why we have such a close bond.

ok I didn't read your whole situation because I have really terrible attention span to read long paragraphs. but can't you play video games along with him for attention? and because he's lazy that's an excuse to dump a man? shit I'm a lazy Gemini too. I love lazying around doing nothing. does this guy cheats like a lot? that's the only good excuse I can think of breaking it off with anybody. and again I didn't read the whole thing so if you stated he cheats, then disregard that question.

Posted by Panela
ok I didn't read your whole situation because I have really terrible attention span to read long paragraphs. but can't you play video games along with him for attention? and because he's lazy that's an excuse to dump a man? shit I'm a lazy Gemini too. I love lazying around doing nothing. does this guy cheats like a lot? that's the only good excuse I can think of breaking it off with anybody. and again I didn't read the whole thing so if you stated he cheats, then disregard that question.

Yea you didn't read the whole thing, so no just being lazy isn't a complete reason to break up with someone, but if you'd read what I said, he's been disrespectful in certain ways, and every time I try to talk to him about things, to resolve them, he makes excuses.

Hmmmm sounds to me like there is no need to break things up just because of that, if it's true that you really love him.

We have mood swings, heck I do, and I don't put up with chats about my feelings and emotions if I don't feel like it or if I don't think is necessary. And I'm lazy as well, specially after I feel comfortable in relationships.

Have you tried to plan out fun activities together?

Cause sounds pretty much like you want him to do certain things and act in certain ways because you think you deserve it, and don't get me wrong, but what are you doing about it? How are you meeting his expectations?? How are you connecting with him as a couple?

Posted by Tete
Hmmmm sounds to me like there is no need to break things up just because of that, if it's true that you really love him.

We have mood swings, heck I do, and I don't put up with chats about my feelings and emotions if I don't feel like it or if I don't think is necessary. And I'm lazy as well, specially after I feel comfortable in relationships.

Have you tried to plan out fun activities together?

Cause sounds pretty much like you want him to do certain things and act in certain ways because you think you deserve it, and don't get me wrong, but what are you doing about it? How are you meeting his expectations?? How are you connecting with him as a couple?

This right here. Plan something fun and focus on connecting and strengthening your bond.

Don't try to force him to talk about feels. He will when he's ready.

Posted by Tete
Hmmmm sounds to me like there is no need to break things up just because of that, if it's true that you really love him.

We have mood swings, heck I do, and I don't put up with chats about my feelings and emotions if I don't feel like it or if I don't think is necessary. And I'm lazy as well, specially after I feel comfortable in relationships.

Have you tried to plan out fun activities together?

Cause sounds pretty much like you want him to do certain things and act in certain ways because you think you deserve it, and don't get me wrong, but what are you doing about it? How are you meeting his expectations?? How are you connecting with him as a couple?

Whenever I ask him to go do something he doesn't want to go really. I try to keep things as exciting as I can, but unfortunately we're both poor college students so sometimes there's not much we can do. Also there's a lot of backstory that you don't know, like over the summer he was basically homeless and I drove him to work every day and I've been the only person he could rely on. That's why I feel I deserve to be treated well, because I've been there for him through everything.

Posted by PootyButt
He was being a real asshole. If it was something that just happened once, you can probably chalk it up to a bad mood, too much booze, and feeling insecure about himself one day. If that's frequent behavior, it sounds like he's trying to get you to break up with him, because he's too chickenshit to do it.

It's also possible he's depressed and taking it out on you. Gaming all day long every day could be a sign of that.

HAHA you hit the nail right on the coffin, he's dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time, actually he says I fixed him, and helped him through his depression, but I definitely know that's still there somewhat and that's why he tries to keep himself constantly distracted by video games. He doesn't want to have to think about his problems, so if he doesn't have any downtime where those thoughts can come to his mind, then he can avoid it completely.