Do Leo men like to 'own' people?

I've been 'friends' with a leo male for around 4 years now. We've never been committed and although from time to time I will have feelings for him I've never pushed anything on him. Just recently he's started acting differently. He asks me if I'm "his girl" and wants me to promise I am... I know he isn't committed to me and even though I don't have to be I actually AM committed to him (by committed I mean I have no other 'friends' and am not looking for any) but I feel almost claustrophobic when he asks me if I'm his girl.

I just don't understand why he's suddenly become like this. I don't know if this is what some leos do or not.

It would be easy for me to trick myself into thinking that this change is signalling an actual change in his feelings for me but I know it isn't because he hasn't been seeing me more often and he also doesn't reply to texts and things like that.

He has become a little more affectionate when he's around me and has been talking to me a lot about his work and family but I still feel like I'm missing something... anyone have some ideas of what might be going on or what I should do?

leos are very controlling.

Posted by DMV
leos are very controlling.

Psychopaths and narcissists always are.

That's rich coming from a scorpio! Ha!

Anyway, fixed signs in general tend to be like this and scorps are probably the worst offenders when it comes to control and wanting ownership over others. I don't think that argument can even be contested.

Thanks guys..I thought this was going to be a dead post haha.

ninjamu - I know what you're saying. I'm not really like that when it comes to intimate relationships though. As I've said, throughout the 4 years, I have had strong feelings for him and have never pushed it on him. I've told him how I've felt at those times and he's told me that I would be the type of girlfriend he would want but that there are some things that stop him from that. I respected and really appreciated his honesty but am having a hard time accepting this.

It's almost like a slap in the face. Either you want me or you let me do what I feel like as I let him.

I guess I want to know if I'm making a bigger deal out of it than I need to...or I'm missing something. I don't know if it's harmless control or something I should be cautious about.

The only thing I can put it down to is him having feelings for me which I really don't think is the case and would rather not delude myself into thinking that! 😛

It's just really confusing for this to have happened after knowing him for so long, I would have thought he would have done this earlier on.

It's the age old question; can hetero males & females have a platonic relationship? I think yes, BUT if you are both single he may make comments, say or do things to test you. I think he's testing you.
So what do you do in this situation? Well, what do YOU want? If you like him, let him know or give him a wise azz answer back. Slap him down and let him know your boundaries.

Posted by Jonleo
It's the age old question; can hetero males & females have a platonic relationship? I think yes, BUT if you are both single he may make comments, say or do things to test you. I think he's testing you.
So what do you do in this situation? Well, what do YOU want? If you like him, let him know or give him a wise azz answer back. Slap him down and let him know your boundaries.

I don't think we have a platonic relationship. Isn't that where you are just friends and nothing else?

My ex leo revealed to me that he used to not text back sometimes purposely because he didn't want to seem needy. Sounds like this leo likes you

Posted by pigeonpie

That and people get big headed or the wrong idea as text doesn't really put across feeling etc well and it's easy to get the wrong end of the stick.

Yeah you saying that just reminded me that he's also said this a couple of times.

This is a fwb?

Posted by Jonleo
This is a fwb?

Yup. That's why I'm so confused with the sudden change..it isn't really making sense to me at all. Four years and it's only just started happening...

That's a long time for a fwb, what's up with that? Yeah, he'll get possessive especially if he's not in love with anyone else. But I don't get how a girl can be screwing a guy for that long and has no feelings. Or hasn't met anyone else in the meantime. I don't think you will understand his need for love & passion if you can be so indifferent. If you have no real feelings for him, let him go. If you have feelings, let him know. Pretty basic, how is this even a question? Do people not have feelings anymore or are just so scared of them?

Posted by Jonleo
That's a long time for a fwb, what's up with that? Yeah, he'll get possessive especially if he's not in love with anyone else. But I don't get how a girl can be screwing a guy for that long and has no feelings. Or hasn't met anyone else in the meantime. I don't think you will understand his need for love & passion if you can be so indifferent. If you have no real feelings for him, let him go. If you have feelings, let him know. Pretty basic, how is this even a question? Do people not have feelings anymore or are just so scared of them?

Awww of course I've had feelings for him. I said in the original post that over the years I've had feelings for him but have never pushed committment onto him. At one point I asked him how he felt about me because I had told him how I felt and he said I was someone he would like as a girlfriend but that he didn't want me because he didn't feel he could handle my wheelchair. While many people think what he said was nasty I actually understood and knew he was just being honest and didn't intend it in a bad way.

A couple of years ago I stopped the relationship because I needed more and he couldn't give it, so I was in a proper relationship with someone else for a year.

If he turned around tomorrow and said he changed his mind I would be happy but I'm sick of telling him how I feel and not having it returned.

I'm not the only FWB he has, he's been very open about that, and yet I am not seeing anyone but him.

This is why his sudden change is confusing me and this is why I didn't want to fool myself into thinking it's changed because his feelings have changed.

So please don't think that I have no feelings involved in this...I have A LOT but theres only so much you can express when you keep being told that it isn't returned in the same way. Although it is nice to be told to have some feelings for once. It's usually the female being told not to fool herself into thinking they want her 😛

Sorry hun, I understand things better now. Except the wheelchair comment(?) How did you interpret that cause I don't get it.

If you want this guy you need to cease & desist sex and tell him you are done with casual affairs because now you are looking for something more meaningful. Yeah, he could be testing you so test him back. I have Scorp rising so it's hard for me to believe you are ok with being in limbo for so long with someone you care about. Change the rules on him, send him for a loop like he's done with you. If you keep the same routine, that's all it will ever be until someone has the gumption to throw a wrench in it.

Posted by Jonleo
Sorry hun, I understand things better now. Except the wheelchair comment(?) How did you interpret that cause I don't get it.

If you want this guy you need to cease & desist sex and tell him you are done with casual affairs because now you are looking for something more meaningful. Yeah, he could be testing you so test him back. I have Scorp rising so it's hard for me to believe you are ok with being in limbo for so long with someone you care about. Change the rules on him, send him for a loop like he's done with you. If you keep the same routine, that's all it will ever be until someone has the gumption to throw a wrench in it.

Oh the wheelchair thing... I had told him how much I feel for him...this was after about a year and he said that because he likes to hunt and go exploring and would like his girlfriend to do those things with him that he didn't think it would work with us...that he would feel bad leaving me to do those things just because I can't walk. He also said he didn't feel he could be faithful to me.

You're right; I'm not really ok with it. I like how you used 'limbo' to describe it...that's exactly what it's like.

I remember when I stopped seeing him because I had gotten a partner... I told him to stop talking to me but he didn't listen. At one point he told me he should have treated me differently and that he had taken me for granted. He also texted me out of the blue once saying "I miss you too sweety" when I hadn't contacted him first. I recently asked him about that and he said he felt like I was thinking of him and wanted to let me know he was missing me as well (no he's not crazy, just a little spiritual).

So I think you're advice is right. Either he will want me or he won't and I will be able to find someone worth it. 😄

Thank you.