How to accelerate getting over a breakup?

Hello my lovely Leos. I am coming to you for advice. I, a fellow leo, just got my heart thrashed by a Capricorn. After months of making plans, introducing to family, etc, and a strained road trip. He just left without saying goodbye. And I knew, that was it. Not a word, but I just knew.

That being said, this isn't about my sob story (but hey no leo likes to be left without a word!) but I'm truly wanting to move on and be happy. I don't want to hate, I don't want to pick it apart, I don't want to want him back, and I don't want to be weak. I want to better myself and do EVERYTHING I can to move on and get him out of my head and my heart.

Do you have any tips for getting over a breakup in a healthy accelerated manner?

Thank you
xoxo

Fucking someone else as soon as possible really does help.

Once knew a cap that did this to me. He wanted to meet my family to. Aways asking about my mom stuff like that. Even made a trip to see me, something was off tho...after he figured out I was gonna fuck he disappeared. I found him to be a liar and a cheat. His own brother warned me about him. He still messages me on social media. I jus ignore him. He's with a Scorpio woman but still sends me dick pics even tho I ignore him. Weird with his little ding ah ling. uuuck.

They live double lifes. They are good at drawing you in. I think the one I encountered was jus trying to hard nothing was natural flowing about this cap. Saying he loved me before he even met me. Omg! I detached myself so quick I amazed myself. I knew his brother longer. I was kinda shocked when he warned me but I'm glad he confirm my suspensions.

Leos love shopping sprees. Make overs and lovely trips. Never know if you might meet someone else on an new adventure

Not a leo but I actually have some great advice on letting go of past relationships quick.

Reason it out. Self-talk your way out of the roundy disappointed thoughts. If only I did this or that. If only he did this or that.

To be clear, I have no idea what the specifics of this are so I am just going to give you a really generic example on how to make it about what you want and compatibility instead of so and so is a jerk. If you start seeing that what he wants and what you want are two different things, neither being right or wrong, it is easier to let go with no hard feeling. and just accept, he just isn’t the one. Not his fault. Not your fault. He just isn’t giving you what you need to be happy.

So for example: Let’s say I am dating a guy named Jeff. Jeff only calls once or twice a week and we only one date a week, if that.

I would look at the situation and say to myself. I really want to be with someone that wants to be with me. I want someone who calls all the time, wants to see me all the time and is very involved in my life. Jeff doesn’t want that. Jeff wants a really casual relationship and loose relationship with little expectations on either end.
Then I go back to me. That doesn’t match what I want at all. I want someone reliable. Dependable. Who is really invested in me and the relationship and wants to share in my life. Jeff doesn’t want that. There is nothing wrong with what he wants. It just isn’t for me. He isn’t the one for me which means someone else is because someone else out there wants exactly the type of relationship I want and is capable of giving it to me. Jeff isn’t. The sooner I let Jeff go, the sooner I meet the right person.

You can do this with any issue/disappointment.

Long story short. When I started realizing what I wanted was wrong. I was perfectly normal wanting and needing what I wanted in a relationship. And the other person is perfectly normal for wanting and needing what they wanted in a relationship. It just meant that our wants and needs weren’t compatible. No hard feelings. Just simple logic.

** sorry what I WANTED WASN'T wrong.

Spoken like a true leo. I likeŠ

Posted by Astrobyn
Fucking someone else as soon as possible really does help.

Man this is spot on actually haha

But seriously, it is...

I think acceptance IS the accelerated version. I feel like my statement was misinterpreted....
I have in the past cried, and replayed things in my head, blamed myself, tried to go back to someone that hurt me, tried to 'make it better' rinse repeat. Just got STUCK. I have after that decided I would move on and be strong and CHECK my boo hoo feelings with logic before I made any embarrassing actions, especially to someone who was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO rotten to me.

Taureye, friends and new hobbies will be integral. Yes.

And no, I will not f*** someone else. That's not good advice. I have decided to not date for a year- focus on music, and be celibate.

I just feel he has a power over me and it's messing with me. I don't want to care. He really just threw me away and I know it was WRONG, but because I hate being rejected, and he changed SO quick...my venus in cancer misses and wants to hold one, but I KNOW better. It's worse knowing he is performing right down the street tomorrow and into Valentine's day....

Gotta exert all my will power not to go down there :/
I can DO THIS!!!!!

Posted by underwaterthing
Hello my lovely Leos. I am coming to you for advice. I, a fellow leo, just got my heart thrashed by a Capricorn. After months of making plans, introducing to family, etc, and a strained road trip. He just left without saying goodbye. And I knew, that was it. Not a word, but I just knew.

That being said, this isn't about my sob story (but hey no leo likes to be left without a word!) but I'm truly wanting to move on and be happy. I don't want to hate, I don't want to pick it apart, I don't want to want him back, and I don't want to be weak. I want to better myself and do EVERYTHING I can to move on and get him out of my head and my heart.

Do you have any tips for getting over a breakup in a healthy accelerated manner?

Thank you
xoxo

First, sorry to hear that this happened to you. Nothing's worse than being in a Leo's headspace after a bad breakup. What you need to do is cut down the amount of time you can spend sulking. Since you have a well of emotion that has been leftover from the relationship, you can drown in it if you choose to do so. So here are some steps that may help.

1. Realize ultimately this person was not worth your time or energy. Leo's may be great at wasting time and energy, but that doesn't mean we don't place importance on it. Your time and energy is one of the greatest strengths you have as it is seemingly limitless. Realize your ex did not deserve this gift and therefore was not meant for you.

2. Don't wait for closure from the other party (as it may never come). Create your own. Think on where the relationship possibly went sour, but don't dwell on it. Try to find the red flags in the other person's demeanor (things that you probably shouldn't tolerate, but did because you are a kind soul). Even if you can't find anything truly upsetting in hindsight, know that by ending things so abruptly, your ex has not shown you the same courtesies you've shown him. This is closure enough and warrants that you move on to something/someone better. Otherwise you are doing yourself a disservice.

3. Put yourself in positive situations. Now is the time to lean on your friends a little. Understand that those closest to you care about you and that your time and energy should truly go to them. Don't overwhelm them, but understand they are there for you. Spend time with them, hang out, try not to spend time alone spiraling in thought.

4. While it may be hard to muster the will, now is the time to immerse yourself into intricate hobbies or projects. Find ways to better yourself and create new experiences. I personally found that anger is best taken out through hitting the gym, engaging in a new activity with other people, or even playing video games with friends. Whatever it is, try to do something where you can focus your energy entirely.

5. Challenge yourself. Make

5. Challenge yourself. Make a conscious effort to move on and not think about where your ex is and what you're doing. Block him on social media, dont tempt yourself by keeping track of him in any way. If you hear about him or see him, even if he's with someone else, don't assume he's doing great without you. Remove his presence from your sight and mind.

6. Lastly, remember you are a Leo and have no shortage or possible suitors. Finding someone new can be a challenge, and annoying if the prospects seem dull/slim, but life is a game of numbers. If you found someone to love once, you will certainly do it again.

Posted by Chuckcem
5. Challenge yourself. Make a conscious effort to move on and not think about where your ex is and what you're doing. Block him on social media, dont tempt yourself by keeping track of him in any way. If you hear about him or see him, even if he's with someone else, don't assume he's doing great without you. Remove his presence from your sight and mind.

6. Lastly, remember you are a Leo and have no shortage or possible suitors. Finding someone new can be a challenge, and annoying if the prospects seem dull/slim, but life is a game of numbers. If you found someone to love once, you will certainly do it again.

Wow Chuck. Your response really impressed me. Thank you for your empathy, detailedness, and understanding. Thank you also for your time. I actually copied the list and saved it to my desktop. I find it very practical 🙂

THE ONLY one I have a problem with is deleting on Facebook. I'm not sure why, bc it isn't good for me. I guess it's me not wanting to be 'mean' make things more awkward etc. Also probably a bit of hope and curiosity. But in my heart of hearts I know we could never make amends. I couldn't trust someone that does what he did again. I'm gonna give it a week or so then probably remove him there. I will see. IDK why I'm not just like IM DONE WHAT A JERK and deleting him, but I don't feel that way. I guess bc I know once I do that, it is final...

Posted by seraph

Posted by underwaterthing
Do you have any tips for getting over a breakup in a healthy accelerated manner?
xoxo

Not trying to get over it in a "healthy accelerated manner."

Just feel what you need to feel, don't force anything, and let time and space do the rest by force of nature.

Time and space will always exert their power in their own time, regardless of any little methods or tips and tricks you'll try to conjure up. And you'll only make things harder by running from or avoiding your feelings, which is the opposite of acceptance.

This is the nature of all thoughts and sensations: they come and go. Your previous problems seemed equally as pressing and important in their time as your current problem does now (replace "problems" with "feelings", if you like), but they are no more, absent from the present by force of nature. Your present difficulties share the same destiny.

click to expand

Hi Seraph, it's liza btw. You may remember me 🙂

Posted by tiziani
That's a lot to want in one step. I think you'd probably end up putting too much pressure on yourself and hold yourself back.

At first it's just about picking one thing you want to change for yourself, prioritise that especially if it's something where once you change it, the rest falls into place as a consequence.

There's no need to always be a better person, there's just the next moment and dealing with what's bothering you head on.

I wouldn't say one step, but I will do all the footwork I need to! But you definitely picked up on the pressure I put on myself 🙂 My Libra grandpa always says, "Don't try to swallow an elephant in one bite. You'll choke! Take it bite by bite."

🙂

I wonder if other leos do this....When you upset or leave me (the beginning of the end) I start slowly throwing out all our memories. Like one every day. Pictures, gifts, or I will slowly take down FB pictures etc. Always in a way where most likely someone wouldn't notice. It's like I already know it's over, and I'm letting go, but don't want to fully admit it. But I've never ever done that and the relationship lasted afterward. It's like a ritual. It helps, doesn't feel too impulsive, plus is nice to not see those things around anymore. And also, if they come back a day after and apologize, most likely I will have only thrown away one thing and won't get in trouble/regret it lol. Leave me alone a week or two and I will have erased you completely.

Posted by underwaterthing

Posted by Chuckcem
5. Challenge yourself. Make a conscious effort to move on and not think about where your ex is and what you're doing. Block him on social media, dont tempt yourself by keeping track of him in any way. If you hear about him or see him, even if he's with someone else, don't assume he's doing great without you. Remove his presence from your sight and mind.

6. Lastly, remember you are a Leo and have no shortage or possible suitors. Finding someone new can be a challenge, and annoying if the prospects seem dull/slim, but life is a game of numbers. If you found someone to love once, you will certainly do it again.

Wow Chuck. Your response really impressed me. Thank you for your empathy, detailedness, and understanding. Thank you also for your time. I actually copied the list and saved it to my desktop. I find it very practical 🙂

THE ONLY one I have a problem with is deleting on Facebook. I'm not sure why, bc it isn't good for me. I guess it's me not wanting to be 'mean' make things more awkward etc. Also probably a bit of hope and curiosity. But in my heart of hearts I know we could never make amends. I couldn't trust someone that does what he did again. I'm gonna give it a week or so then probably remove him there. I will see. IDK why I'm not just like IM DONE WHAT A JERK and deleting him, but I don't feel that way. I guess bc I know once I do that, it is final...

click to expand

For sure, when I mention blocking him on social media, it's analogous to not seeing him in real life. Most people don't see it this way, but nowadays it can be argued that social media creates real emotional attachments and responses, even in an unrealistic environment. Everyone heals differently though, so take this with a grain of salt. I personally have only ever blocked one person (a Cap woman), but I also don't take social media too seriously. I barely like looking at my own FB page, let alone someone else's. If you can prevent yourself from looking through his page (wall, photos, etc), that works too.

Posted by underwaterthing
I wonder if other leos do this....When you upset or leave me (the beginning of the end) I start slowly throwing out all our memories. Like one every day. Pictures, gifts, or I will slowly take down FB pictures etc. Always in a way where most likely someone wouldn't notice. It's like I already know it's over, and I'm letting go, but don't want to fully admit it. But I've never ever done that and the relationship lasted afterward. It's like a ritual. It helps, doesn't feel too impulsive, plus is nice to not see those things around anymore. And also, if they come back a day after and apologize, most likely I will have only thrown away one thing and won't get in trouble/regret it lol. Leave me alone a week or two and I will have erased you completely.

I kinda do that. If there is just random memorabilia (her clothes, toothbrush, stuff, etc) I'll either give it back or throw it out (clothes I'll give back, toothbrushes I'll just throw out). If I received a gift from the person, I'm KEEPING it, especially if it's something I use often. I found I can respect the relationship in my memory even if it was a bad breakup. I show that respect by removing the emotional attachment from those items or gifts. In my mind I think, "Well that sucks....but at least I got those cool pajama pants and sunglasses out of the situation". It's all about those silver linings.

Posted by Chuckcem
5. Challenge yourself. Make a conscious effort to move on and not think about where your ex is and what you're doing. Block him on social media, dont tempt yourself by keeping track of him in any way. If you hear about him or see him, even if he's with someone else, don't assume he's doing great without you. Remove his presence from your sight and mind.

6. Lastly, remember you are a Leo and have no shortage or possible suitors. Finding someone new can be a challenge, and annoying if the prospects seem dull/slim, but life is a game of numbers. If you found someone to love once, you will certainly do it again.

This is spot on. Being unfriended and avoiding my ex wife made things so much easier. Only thing I can add is to remember the five stages of grief and remember it's natural. You cant really accelerate it but you can avoid delaying it. For me I set a time table and said x amount of time I'm gonna stop sulking and take a trip or spend more time with my friends. After x amount of time I'll try dating and what not. This helped me avoid a rut and make sure I had the proper time to grieve. I did have to make a couple adjustments but it was to be expected.

today is the worst 😢

Here is what you got to do. This techniche is used to forget painful memories, because usually rethinking them brings back almost 100% of tha pain. So what you have to do is watch your memory from a third person point of view where you are watching yourself, go through such an experience.

Second thing you have to do, is continually zoom out from watching yourself in that situation. This cures all depression and this was from personal experience. Please share this knowledge.