This Leo confuses me, a lot.

Hiya there,

I'll give you the context so you guys can understand this first:

I developed feelings for this leo, and wrote a letter telling her how I felt and she took a week to reject me but insisted on staying friends. I agreed to compromise but she started acting cold and distant, as well as ghosting me on social media. This alarmed me as we used to talk everyday and this had been the 1 month mark. I talked to her about putting more effort in and she said she wanted to be friends. After this, her behaviour got worse, ignoring me in person and ditching me for others at every chance. So I said F it, I'm outta here and left and haven't talked to her since.

Fast forward to the present, I no longer like her (how could I after that treatment) and was moving on with my life when her friend asked what was happening, so I explained and she tried to get us talking again, but only to have her and her friend ignore me. I had a go at her friend for this and then again got on with my life. I was in a class with her and she was going on like "Oh, I'm such a bitch", etc to her friends and I turned to them and said "Yeah, don't I know it?", and went back to my work. Since then, at the suggestion of a friend of mine, I offered her a chance to meet face to face to discuss this to hopefully at lest be civil to each other, but she had her friend(same one as earlier) tell me that she didn't want to talk and she feels wronged.

I just don't understand her, I want my friend back first and foremost but I simply won't stand for someone treating me like that. Any Leo's got some advice on this predicament of mine?

-Ownard

You DO stand for someone treating you like that because you keep going back. You didn't learn your lesson the first time. So she keeps playing you like a fiddle because she can, boosts her ego to have some guy chase after her.

Think of Prissy Hen, the dog & the melon. Or to make things even simpler:

You =

Her = wipes her feet on said doormat.

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
You DO stand for someone treating you like that because you keep going back. You didn't learn your lesson the first time. So she keeps playing you like a fiddle because she can, boosts her ego to have some guy chase after her.

Think of Prissy Hen, the dog & the melon. Or to make things even simpler:

You =

Her = wipes her feet on said doormat.

I know, this last time was a chance to at least be civil to each other as we are in classes together everyday so it's made things very awkward. That was the last time and I'm sticking to it. I still have some integrity to salvage.

Posted by Leo188881
I understand this behaviour. Not sure if it's my Leo or a combination of placements but if someone likes me and i don't like them back, I tell them i just want to be friends.

I don't like unrequited love and can only stay friends with someone who i feel has no emotional attachment anymore. If i sense they still like me or have it in their head that they have a chance i pull back. I can be their friend when they've moved on and the boundaries are reestablished.

If they don't get it, I become short and try to make them stop liking me so they can move on. I don't want them to get the wrong idea or feel like they have a chance or are being led on. In my mind that is cruel.

I want my intentions to be clear. That means being not nice and ignoring someone if they're the type that don't give up when they've been told. i want then to stop liking me because it makes me feel uncomfortable.

We either like you, or we don't. We don't want to hurt your feelings by giving you false hope or letting you believe that you have a chance when you don't. It sucks, but we do it for your own good. So you can move on.

Trust me, it doesn't feel that way. I talked about her this behaviour away back when it started, I told her that her behaviour doesn't match her actions and that if she wants to be friends then she better start acting like it. She apologized and said she'd try. That's what anger me about this. Not keeping her word.

I understand that she feels it's for the best and you do aswell, but it's not. She put her ex-boyfriend into a depression doing this and I would've went aswell had I not been stronger. I know she doesn't like me in that way and was already moving on when she started this crap. I just don't think it was appropriate because now we've both lost out on a really great friendship and the only person to rely on when we go to university (we're the only people we know who are going to this city).

Posted by Leo188881

Posted by Ownard

Posted by Leo188881
I understand this behaviour. Not sure if it's my Leo or a combination of placements but if someone likes me and i don't like them back, I tell them i just want to be friends.

I don't like unrequited love and can only stay friends with someone who i feel has no emotional attachment anymore. If i sense they still like me or have it in their head that they have a chance i pull back. I can be their friend when they've moved on and the boundaries are reestablished.

If they don't get it, I become short and try to make them stop liking me so they can move on. I don't want them to get the wrong idea or feel like they have a chance or are being led on. In my mind that is cruel.

I want my intentions to be clear. That means being not nice and ignoring someone if they're the type that don't give up when they've been told. i want then to stop liking me because it makes me feel uncomfortable.

We either like you, or we don't. We don't want to hurt your feelings by giving you false hope or letting you believe that you have a chance when you don't. It sucks, but we do it for your own good. So you can move on.

Trust me, it doesn't feel that way. I talked about her this behaviour away back when it started, I told her that her behaviour doesn't match her actions and that if she wants to be friends then she better start acting like it. She apologized and said she'd try. That's what anger me about this. Not keeping her word.

I understand that she feels it's for the best and you do aswell, but it's not. She put her ex-boyfriend into a depression doing this and I would've went aswell had I not been stronger. I know she doesn't like me in that way and was already moving on when she started this crap. I just don't think it was appropriate because now we've both lost out on a really great friendship and the only person to rely on when we go to university (we're the only people we know who are going to this city).

It sounds like you're trying to force a friendship out of something that has died. I don't think friendship works like that for us. We're either friends for life or just acquaintances. Maybe she doesn't feel like she can give you that type of loyalty. Whatever the reason, i think you need to find a new friend. It doesn't sound like she is interested

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I read that message loud and clear from the way she glared at me and says things that she knows will hurt me. I intend on getting a long way away from that shit.

The problem is you've flip flopped. You went from not wanting just a friendship with her to getting upset that she wasn't being your friend. You went from doing your own thing to interacting with her on social media. She ghosted you because she doesn't respect you. A man with true inner strength does/mean what he says. Instead you haven't been able to detach from her fully.

Talking to her about how she's not holding up her end of the "friendship" was icing on the cake. You've let her bad attitude affect you, which has prompted her to grow cold. It shouldn't matter what she does now, it shouldn't affect you. You've already stated what you want.

Stop talking to her friends about situation too. Your attitude should be that there is NO situation. A man should be busy focusing on his purpose, not the gossip of some random woman's friends. Also know that every time one of her friends talks to you, they are immediately relaying that information back to her (probably with their own "spin" on it). This is yet another reason for her bad attitude toward you.

Also realize that she probably wasn't happy when you didn't agree to a friendship. That was a blow to her ego. No one likes hearing, "No". Again, this isn't your problem.