Call me crazy....

It is me again. I am ready to share my fear.....

My Libra friend called last night and kind of broke down on the phone. You guessed it he and the Sag are broken up again. This time he acted like he really needed me to tell him things would be OK. I did. I also told him that if it is meant to be it will, maybe not now, but it will. He stated, this is it. He is sick of the back and forth. I told him I was sorry it didn't work out. He said " I cried that it was ended and I am smiling that it is all over." ANY IDEA WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS—"

He has made himself extremely busy lately. Teaches college classes 2 evenings per week after work. So his time is limited during the week. He also wanted to see me. I couldn't...

Here is me being retarded: OK guys, you know how I have been talking about possibly getting involved with someone - dating seriously and how lonely I have been? OK, I am really brave now lately, with all of this stuff going on with me and not being around my friend as much. I have realized that I am starting to like him example: think of him more than before, actually miss him outside of just sexually, etc. So, I am going to take a leap of faith and see what can become of this... Aqua friendship/lover thing got me to thinking...

I know this could probably wind up not in my favor, because emotionally he is still a little beat up and the back and forth with the ex could not be completely over. I have been knowing him for about 7 months now and if I get involved with someone why not someone I already know and enjoy being around. Still scary to me, but I am thinking of just letting him know what's been on my mind and taking whatever his response is with stride. Taking my own advice...

Hey you

It means that he hated going through the break up (because he's hurting someone in the process) but that it had to be done (he broke up with her, it's obvious!), and that he can now breathe again.

Libra, do you think I am nuts. I am starting to fall for this guy and to think I shot him down when he first said he was getting emotional about us, makes me regret that. However, at the time I was just being honest. Sagging and FWB's was fine with me until recently. That is starting to bore me... I need more. If not him somebody. He is the onely one I would feel comfortable with trying that with right now. I have been on a couple dates. Two of guys are Libras... The other is a Taurus.

QS

You're crazy!

😛

just kidding

* I cried that it was ended and I am smiling that it is all over ...

translation ... I am sad and heartbroke but relieved and know it is for the best and it is done.

Becareful honey. I have met so many guys on the rebound. Hurts everytime because they just aren't available. They are broken. They suck all the love out of you and give nothing back.

Honey, you're not nuts, just in love. And very human. It happens to all of us.

He now needs a bit of space to nurse the wound he caused e.g. he feels like a jackass for hurting someone. Give it to him.

Then he may or may not be back. Maybe you were needed to get him through the break up. However, we are also capable of having two things running in parallel. What I will say is that it won't take him too long to bounce back from all this.

Be there for him, but in an objective way. Don't bring his other life up if he does not etc. Then later on when he is a bit happier guide him down the path to you...

LS, I know this to be true and that is what I am afraid of. I am also afraid that I might still have some broken parts and can't give all the love I would normally... So this might be disasterous for us both... I do know that every word you just wrote is 100% true.

I am just feeling right now that I need to know, or get it done no matter how the outcome turns out. Kind of like getting over a hurdle. Just don't look forward to it.

If you do that you will lose him.

For him, the conquering of you will now begin (if he chooses to really go for it) and the rules are exactly the same as they are for Atom and AquaBrat and Chatz, and all the others.

You have this insight info, you COULD play along...

Libra,

Just what I needed to hear. I also thought about that. I feel, I am being a little hastey about expressing this to him, because of my own loneliness - a little selfish, I know, I am just so tired of giving and not getting it back, it has been that way for me forever.... I also know I should be sensitive to him right now and just be his friend... I must admit, I know these Libra guys and I don't want another woman to slip in and get in my nook while I am giving him space. I need to know how to give him space, while keeping him close.

Libra, I guess I just have to wait to see if he chooses to conquer me huh? I know I should chill. I am just a scorpio emotional mess right now. That is why I need you guys to keep my head level. In the mean time. I need to know what to do and say to keep me right there in the front, he will probably see other women I am sure. I being a scorp, sort of lose interest in others when I finally decide I like one individual. Libras are so not that way.

Oh yes we are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All through these posts, I would give pretty good advice to others in love with a Libra man, because I was in a different place. He was more my buddy w/bene's and experiences with my ex made it easy and clear to see things. Now my heart is seeping into it so, I am a little cloudy because of the emotions.

See, he never had to seriously consider you because he was not in that position (he was not a free man). Now that has changed. Play it cool. We like cool...

Libra, really... You girls seem to be that way, but the guys, always seem to have several interests. My ex used to tell me that wasn't true. Nic and thelibran do mention that on a couple threads that people always think that about them and it isn't true. You are probably right. I am not an insecure person by nature, but very protective of my heart and feelings. I is makes it harder because I have a child. I don't expose her to any male friends of mine and won't until I know it is really serious.

Libra, he broke up witht his ex and got back with her about 4 times since I have known him, but I guess he couldn't have considered me, because I clearly didn't want to be considered at that time. How will he know I am now? I guess I have to use my scorpio "show and not tell" technique.

He will consider you whether you are considering him or not. It's got nothing to do with you (you know, all in his head).

He's gone back four times out of pity. Not because it was great. Do you copy??

pitty* or pity*?

(I give up)

Nic told me the exact same things. He said if he went back because he couldn't live w/o her than he wouldn't keep coming back to me. She also has a medical condition so I sensed he felt a little obligated and pittied her. After reading all my threads do you think he considers me a possibility? I know he cares for me, but Libras care about all their friends.

*** I am just so tired of giving and not getting it back, it has been that way for me forever....

I TOTALLY understand what you are going through QS. I am starting to go through it too. The latest Leo really broke my heart.

(Unfortunetly, he knows that I am the once in a lifetime and doesn't feel prepared for that. He has been working on it but he knows he isn't there. This is part of the problem I am having overall.)

It has been such a LONG time since I was in a really loving, stable, giving relationship. I understand how you are feeling. I am feeling that way too.

Just ask ... can a broken man give me what I need or will it just make my loneliness worse?

"One is the lonelinest number
That you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
Its the lonelinest number
Since the number two."

There is a lot of truth to this.

Oh, LOL. Libra, I look back on some of my threads and wonder how I got a degree at all... My spelling sucked. I think it is pitty though. Who cares.

Yes I do, but he also feels very guilty. That's all it is.

Just ride it out, if you can. Be a nice girl, don't nag, be happy to see him so that he's done it for a good reason. Never compare, never complain. He might just come your way...

LS, I know again you are right about rushing things. I will wait until he bounces back, it will be hard as heck not to show my emotion, however we scorp girls seem to get that done unconciously.

You are my sista in relationship crisis... Heehee, glad to know I am not alone...

We are the good ones... This always happen to us... Someone will realize who we are one day.

***Just ride it out, if you can. Be a nice girl, don't nag, be happy to see him so that he's done it for a good reason. Never compare, never complain. He might just come your way...***


Libra, as hard as it will be I am will do just that... I am used to putting people I care about needs in front of my own. I just hope I get some of this giving and sacrificing back, just once.

** I being a scorp, sort of lose interest in others when I finally decide I like one individual. Libras are so not that way

Are you kidding?

We can be the most devoted of signs. I may have continued to see others after meeting the latest Leo, had he stepped up, there is no way there would have been anyone after him because I could have been happy there long term.

Things aren't always as they seem.

LS, I don't know why it seems that way with the guys... Maybe it isn't. Like, through his back and forth with his ex, I was sure I wasn't the only other woman he was seeing, but it didn't bother me, because I wasn't emotionally connected, I never even asked. A friend of mine doubted it though, because of how much we were together.

Go for the Taurus. 🙂

Biased of course 🙂P

😛

HP, that would probably be the most sensible thing to do right? However, being the stubborn scorpio I am and not being able to resist my desire. The libra, although maybe not the right choice is my choice of drug right now. Who knows, that might change by next week. Emotional state at this time and this day. That can change.

** You girls seem to be that way, but the guys, always seem to have several interests.

Ummm have you been reading my posts? I usually have several men interested in me at any given time.

He couldn't consider you because he is in love with the Sag girl. It really isn't about you. It is about him.

Look at your Libra ex-husband. He loves you and even if he dicks around, there are no others. You are what he wants.

The other Libra guy is that way with the Sag. That is why he keeps going back. He keeps going back because he is in love with her. If he wasn't, and thought you were a better match, he would be completely over her.

This guy is using you as an ointment on a deep wound.

You see QS, once we devote, we devote. Until that point, we play it safe and keep our options open.

We also don't take flings that seriously. We give our hearts and devote to people we see as potential lifelong partners.

I have went back and forth between an ex and a new guy because I was madly in love with my ex. I don't feel too terrible about it because the new guy knew what he was getting into, as cruel as that sounds to those outside the situation.

Space, Queen, space.

LS, as you know, I am all too familiar with the devotion of a Libra guy... My ex, case in point. That is why I know me feeling this way is bad and because I am a little damaged right now, if he did decide to get emotional about me again, it might not be good for either of us.

The confusing thing is this... He did get emotional about us once and I shot that down, remember, that post. I think you were the one who said I wounded his ego, but that is the space I was in.

I know he thinks of me as his friends and I can feel sometimes he gets a little caught up and does things like (after sex) stare at me while I am not looking, kiss me on the forehead or do the sigh thing... Just don't think he is emotional enough to make me a possibility.

I guess it is hard going from FWB's to dating. Don't know if it is at all possible. Never been in a situation like this before.

I hear you though.

Atom, I so get that. Complete space, like not contacting him for awhile or just be his friend and check on him time to time?

I don't think he has any idea I feel this way, even last night. Our conversations around us is purely, how we are doing and sex... I keep it that way... I don't know if I could change that even though I want to.

Because you can love someone and not give them your heart. Know what I mean?

Of course he is affectionate and loving with you. He cares about you but the reality is ... his heart is already taken.

He wouldn't be going back to her if you had his heart.

I know how hard it is because it has nothing to do with you. You just have to release and let it all go.

I think if you pursue this, you will just get in further and further and well ... it will hurt you way more in the end. It will sap your spirit and your self-esteem.

I know how frustrated you are. I am in a very similar situation.

You just have to trust that the universe knows what it is doing. If it is meant to be, it will be. (Having a best friend marry her ex who she hadn't heard from in two years confirms that things happen in their own time.)

This or something better.

LS, I should either keep him as a friend, or let him go. Is that your advice?

I dunno honey. It is up to you. I just don't think a heart in the hands of the broken is a secure thing to do.

... LS, and because I know that this is hard...

I don't think it can be done.....FWB to dating.

Kris, thanks, I don't think after I shut him down he was ever interested again after that, not in this way. We are very close and have tons of heart to hearts and I love our friendship. I think I should just leave it all alone until I get my emotions together and can get that friendshp only attitude toward him back on track, he is a good friend. I honestly don't know if all these feelings are for him per se either. I am just lonely and want to be with someone and he is just the closest male friend I have, that I have had sex with and is attracted to physically. Also I got engaged on Valentines day, it is around the corner and it affects me more than my anniversary....

Going out with the Taurus tomorrow night, he too, has baggage, he is going through a divorced. Been separated for 3 years.. This sucks... I am not doing anything so, why not.

HP, that is kind of what happened with me and my ex hubby. We were friends with bene's for a couple months and then started dating, then finally engaged after I turned him down after the first proposal, then married. However. He didn't have an ex at the time. He did have a stalker though, which almost ended things between us before it got started. We went through a lot of things that you girls are going through on this post... At one point I just totally ignored him for about a month and he came a runnin.. However, I was seeing another Libra at the time - so I was well entertained, but I always really wanted the ex hubby. Got him... I was sure 100% sure about it though, not 60% sure like now. A story for another day...

KennyG, I have been there through this back and forth thing with his ex 4 times and will be there as long as he wants me to be. I am just lonely as hell an want someone and I am tired of being his FWB, however our sexual connection is an amazing experience, and as a scorp, it is hard to resist. Did it for awhile and thought I was OK, then had a relapse recently. Just want more, he is there, I thought why not him, but it isn't looking like it is a good time, or even possible. I don't have a problem with attracting men. I been seeing 3 off and on... Just comfortable and familiar with him. You know that starting over shit from the beginning scares me.

Oh, and last night during our conversation, out of the blue he said, " you are a nempho and I like that because I am a freak, and we probably both have always been that way, however we seem to bring it out of eachother more than others. I can't remember being as freaky with anyone else. " Purely sexual right? I replied. "Yeah you yank it out of me everytime, that is true."

Sex, maybe all we get out of eachother.

Love you libra girls balance... Thanks, you keep me level headed, now where the hell is the advice from the Libra brothas!!! Nic, thelibran... who else?

Oh, you too HP...

Actually, Kenny G, the FWB with him was perfect for me for the frame of mind I was in at the time, wasn't emotionally involved and didn't want to be with anyone at the time, just lately my feelings in general have changed. Just in general is all and since it was OK before, and it isn't now... I want to tell him that. As I said I turned him down last night and I think I might have bruised his ego just a little, because of the oh, OK remark afterward, he could have easily called someone else after we hung up.

So to answer your question sex w/o a relationship gets the rocks off, but doesn't fulfill anything... More like, if I decided to do it, it would be just something to do until Mr. right comes along and I don't think I am game for that either. Again, the more I chat and think about it the more I don't know if it is the idea of being with someone more so then being with him in particular or not...

Hell, I dunno. I could have different feelings next week we will see.

"that is kind of what happened with me and my ex hubby. We were friends with bene's for a couple months and then started dating, then finally engaged after I turned him down after the first proposal, then married"

QS that's a positive outcome above and I'd love to know how you turned a FWB situation to a romantic one....mostly these don't end up being a r/ship as such and somebody gets hurt and having said that, please be careful this guy doesn't use you up yet again, especially on the rebound thing....I know the lonely part aint so grand but don't let yourself become his doormat and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Either that or use him up!! LOL. Careful with your emotions - as you said above "Sex, maybe all we get out of eachother"

Kris, I am not offended. I know better to think with my mind over my heart. I don't even know if it is my heart. I do know it is my emotional state for sure...
Thanks for that. I will probably keep him as a friend and wait for Mr. right, which would be better than a Mr. right now....

Chatz, I went through the ame exact shit you girls are going through now, except. I had another Libra to occupy my time and I was going on dates. This outcome didn't happen without hurt and thinking it would never happen... The thing that really got him is as a scorp. My patients ran short really fast and I decided to cut him off for a month. It was hell and the longest month in my life. I didn't return any of his calls when he finally called and one day he called private. I heard his voice and melted. I simply told him, I no longer wanted to be FWB, I changed my mind and I want more. If it isn't with him then I will find someone who is ready. Shockingly he said, OK lets do it.

See he hadn't been in a serious relationship for a few years, a player to his heart... So I was very careful. He flaunted me around his friends and was proud I was his. So I know when a libra is in love he can be the best....

He had a "baby mama" who he never loved. So he didn't really have any of the baggag like my current Libra friend. But, it was no walk in the park to get where we got. I was just lucky he was still interested in me. I missed him but wasn't going to play the game anymore. I know if you space on them it makes them want to see you and notice they miss you after awhile. If you make a great impression.

We also weren't close friends either like my libr friend and I are now. So there was nothing to lose. This situation is little differen and more sensitive. More at stake.

WEll you know what you're doing then 🙂....and a LIbra being their best?? I can imagine 😛

Chatz, I had nothing to lose with the ex. With my friend, I might lose friendship because I want something he might not. So that sucks.