YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

Ok, Libras and others...give me insight.

As most of you know, I've been trying to let go of Mr. Libra. I have been doing a very good job of it. He texts me this morning to say good morning. I didn't reply until about an hour ago. He replies back with how my doing is going. I reply that I'm having issues with my computer but a friend is going to come over and help me out.

He then calls me and pick up the phone (I don't have caller ID on my office phone)...I wasn't expecting it to be him. He jokes around with me for a few minutes. Then he says "All fun aside, will you be repaying that guy for helping you with your computer problem?" I told him that the person that's helping me has a girlfriend and I would never "thank" him in that way. He then asked "What would I get if I fixed your computer problem?" I dodged the question and said "Well with you it's different because I can't prove that you don't have a girlfriend." He said, "No no, you are avoiding my question. What would I get if I fixed your computer problem?" I said, "I can't say over the phone, but you can."

"I know, but it's more fun to hear you say it"...he says.

"So you're saying you'd rather come over and help fix my computer than the other person?"..I ask.

"Yes"

That's the jist of the conversation. After he said yes, I had to take another call, so I haven't decided if I should let him fix my computer or not.

Why is he doing this to me?

doing is going? WTF...I'm so scatter-brained

*day is going

Because he can... Like you told me on another thread, they will keep on with keeping the options open with you if you let them. They keep the control, because we can't resist their charm and the good sex. Also, he clearly thinks, like most of them, that he can call whenever he wants. It is always on his term until he gets serious about you.

He thinks he can call and you will do what he wants and I must admit we often do. If you told him that was OK you will let the other guy do it. Watch him chase you more...

I still think he is a bit jealous...my opinion.

I know they can, that's true. Plus, it's SOOO much easier to give good advice when it isn't YOU going through the mess!

"If you told him that was OK you will let the other guy do it. Watch him chase you more..."

I did comment to him that I'd already committed to my other friend helping me and I'd feel bad to tell him never mind.

He got a little snappy and said "Ok, that's fine. your decision. I live 10 minutes away and this guy lives 45 minutes away"....

He picks up the phone = major, MAJOR effort.

HP, why is it not possible that he wants you?

Libra, it's because he's told me a few times that he's not in a position right now to commit to anyone. I got tired of hearing it so I gave up.

Most of my advice is through experience... Trust I never said it wouold be easy and I have been through the similar so many times... Yes, they get very jealous even when they don't seem they are into you like you think they should be.

But finding yourself jealous is a good thing for a Libra.

We are not in touch with our emotions, remember? It's a positive sign!

He's not into me, I know this or he would have made far better effort than he did. I gave up on him, starting going out, etc.

I don't mind him coming over to help me, but I just wish he wasn't so wishy washy.

Libra, what do you mean by picking up the phone - Major effort? They pick it up, just not often enough for some of us...

he chose to pick up th ephone when it mattered to him,...just as QS said, on his terms.

it's so weird because we're both too nice of people to just tell the other to get lost....so i imagine i'm partly at fault too.

but then maybe part of me still wishes something would've happened between us?

Libra, I hear you, but remember when you told me something similar about my friend? Who has played the jealous role with me so many times, and actually stated once. When I went to Vegas for my gf's wedding. He called while I was there and stated " I might be getting jealous with you out there and me here". I laffed it off. Didn't think that could be possible for anyone who weren't serious about you. Since then a couple similar issues, but I don't think he is in a position to be with me and even though I think I might want to consider dating again. This wouldn't be a good time for him bc, of the ex... back and forth crap...

"He then calls me"...

Just because they don't call often enough does not mean that they're doing anything wrong. Just different peopple different things.

I remember once in my life with a guy, it came together etc and tehn we talked about how it got together. I felt I had been so obvious, he felt not. It's not easy to show someone.

I am seeing that the difference between the Libra woman/man - Man, when not in love with a girl, they like things done when they are ready on their terms. Woman, they are a little nicer and might give a guy a chance or two to do things on their terms even when not in a serious relationship - you Libra girls can be a little more on the fair side when it comes to this... What say you Libra?

***Just because they don't call often enough does not mean that they're doing anything wrong. Just different peopple different things.***

Libra, agree with you there... However, some of us girls appreciate someone meeting us a quarter of the way (not even half) sometimes, but I have dealt with enough Libras and have heard enough on this post to know that that is just their way, take it or leave it.

We're so devoted you know...

It makes me sad that we cause so much frustration.

When you say not in a serious relationship. I don't know if I'd be able to do something (love stuff) half serious. It's all or nothing with me, that's why I hardly make any moves.

I wonder if he's testing me?

I am also coming to the conclusion that even though we ourselves cannot be direct, it does not mean that we cannot be treated in a direct fashion. Just these few ground rules about timing.

If you want to know more then you must go and find out. In general and because we are not afraid to pursue, if you pull back you will know whether he wants you. Because he will come after you.

(mind you I don't judge one off shags. it's just that I cannot do them. libras come in both types. we're all human. some are serious about love. some are less serious about commitment. it's all fine.)

Alright, I'll just tell him that I'll stick with the other guy. Seems like you guys have floated off topic.

Don't stick with the other guy!

HP, I am going to tell you like this... If you miss Mr. Libra get him while you can, however, just not every time he wants to get together, make sure you flip the script and make it about you sometime. I have done it when I really want to sometimes I don't feel like it and just do nothing though.

It seems like you want to see him, so do. I just don't want you to make him too comfortable about calling or getting with you only when he decides is all. They can easily slip into that mode. I have found myself in that situation a time or two. Then reality sets in and when I pull back, they always, come running.

HP, keep us posted and you might want to slip a few Subliminal suggestions in his ear tonight. Make him think about a few things when he isn't with you... Remember subtly put something on his mind.

Ex: I have looked at a Libra in the eye during sex, while he seems so into it and tell him something like "It would be a shame we couldn't be in this position anymore, it would be great if we could whenever WE BOTH needed it" That is it, nothing else and then just grab him and be as sensual as you can, but afterward act like nothing was said, don't get emotional about it. If you do don't show it. Later he reminded me of that when I thought he didn't notice it. We got married... Heheee. I went through some of the exact things you are going through with my ex. As you can see now after I got him though, I can't get rid of him now that it is over wierd...

Another thing, after sex compliment his body and its parts... I have taken a Libras @# $ * in my hand and given it a gentle handshake and said "Thank you for your wonderful service"!!!

OMG>>>>>>I spit out my goldfish crackers!

" I have taken a Libras @# $ * in my hand and given it a gentle handshake and said "Thank you for your wonderful service"!!!"


He's not coming over tonight. I'm still tempted just to keep the plan with my other friend to come over and fix my computer. He needs to miss me...that way, when I decide I need to see him for dinner or what not, he will make time for it.

PLUS PLUS, big PLUS, I'm not sure what I want. FWB, maybe...but I just don't know if I'm the type of person who can do that.

It is because you have send mixed messages. You have made it safe for him to approach you for sex without commitment.

I am much more without words then you guys are. If a guy spoke as above (female focused chat, of course) I would be completely turned off - with embarassment. I like it more subtle. Small chit chat during it all is wonderful, but nothing too strong. The mystique has to remain.

""Well with you it's different because I can't prove that you don't have a girlfriend." "

He totally dodged that comment...that is truly what turned me off. He tells me I'm dodging his questions, but he dodged my comment.

So anyway, yeah, I just left him a message telling him "thanks for the offer, but I'm sticking with "X" to help me wit the computer"

He just texted me with "I guess you are attracted to him afterall".


Grrr....why does he even care?

ask him...

LOL!!! Sorry like Nic said everyone doesn't get the comic beteween a scorp girl/libra guy. We give them a little subtleness but enough straight forwardness that they are clear about what we mean...

Sorry HP, I know I am over the top... But it is true, my Libra friend ate that gentle handshake up... He talked about that for almost an hour and initially blushed then laffed his ass off.

If you stick with the other guy. Libra will chase. If that is what you want then do so.

Oh, they never play fair... Always a double standard. That is how they try to keep control of the situation... I do challenge them. Make it where he doesn't have a choice but answer the question...

HP, would you want something to happen with the Oct 10 libra guy?

The UNsubtle Libra. What's THAT about?

'Sounds like you're frustrating him (which is GOOD)----the whole "You always want what you can't have."

Your friend's going to do a GREAT job repairing your computer!

(And I can't wait to hear Libra's advice if you want to get something going w/ the libra guy).

HP, I got a major doubt. How many Libran guys are you seeing all together—

Major doubt about what?

I'm not "seeing" any. The only Libra that seems to linger is Oct. 10 Mr. Libra. All the others I found things I couldn't stand about them.

HP, just curious, what are some of the things you couldn't stand about the other Libra guys?

Well one was so negative and moody. The other was kinda shallow and judgemental all the time. I bailed on the guy I met at the basketball game.

This just leaves Mr. Libra and his indecisiveness irks me. But he is so friendly.

Always friendly and charming, can become addictive...

You could just tell him look, I am going to have my friend fix my computer but if you want to go out sometime lets talk about it in that context rather than a round about way like "fixing my computer".

He is trying to sort through mixed messages. That is why he is reacting the way he is. He knows your not the one night stand type but you still randomly hooked up with him so he is still trying to figure out what you are all about. The idea might not have crossed his mind yet that what happened between the two of you was out of character.

The toughness of the situation doesn't really have to do with him wanting to see you right now, the reasons for that are clear, it comes from you not knowing what you want from him, if anything.

HP, that indecisiveness will NOT go away. You'll have to figure out if you can handle it.

nic's right--you'll also have to figure out what you want from him. It sounded uncharacteristic for a Libra, but a very typical guy thing. (A little jealousy? I liked seeing that when it's happened with Libra Girl).

Atom, what sounded uncharacteristic for a Libra?

"I am going to have my friend fix my computer but if you want to go out sometime lets talk about it in that context rather than a round about way like "fixing my computer"."

He doesn't want to go out with me. I know what he wants and that's what I'm trying to determine if I can do it or not.

He just didn't seem subtle enough to me, for a Libra, HP.