Hello hard times.

Ok, so, this week blows. I am officially in a rut, a whole bunch of stuff caught up to me at once, probably in the exact narrow time frame this year that I can't outright deal with it the way I need to.

Last night I almost got arrested. I got pulled over for having a head light out by a cop that was bored out of his mind in North Scottsdale, on the way home from grocery shopping.

He ran my license, and it was taking a while for the info to come back so he he and I were hanging out smoking cigarettes, shooting the breeze. He recognized me from a couple of arrests I made doing fugitive recovery, I guess he responded to a police back up request some time ago on a recovery I was running...I didn't remember him, he remembered me. So were smoking and joking and over his radio comes "Last name, First name middle initial, license cancelled, suspended in Ca. for...."

"Your license is suspended?"

"It is?"
"Mind if I grab something to eat before you arrest me?"

Him laughing "I'm not taking you to jail man, I'll convince my sargent to let me just write you a ticket."

So I was on the phone all day with Ca. DMV and court system, which takes all day just to get any info on anything and it turns out they never cashed a check of mine to clear a ticket from over a year ago, suspended my license which suspended my Az. License which in turn makes it illegal for me to drive. Crap. The worst part about this is Ca. was sending all of the letters to my deceased fathers address....hello?

Usually I have money in the bank to just throw at any problems like this that come up, right now, not the case. It is going to be a long couple of months. Craptacular.

Did you seriously ask for something to eat? LMAO

Yeah, serously I am a ball of nerves when everything is going smooth but under stress, like when a cop is trying to figure out how to get around arresting me because he thinks I am an alright guy, I calm down. In the moment people right?

Thats nothing compared to how I got out of a ticket going 98 in a 35 with a half naked girl in the passenger seat. I used to be a bundle of excitement. But a story for another time.

Do share. I lurve Libra men.

So charming, even with the police.

If the check never cleared, then you should still have that money.

Or if you odn't have the money, then it must have been a substancial check amount, which would prompt me to monitor my account until it does clear the bank.

something doesn't add up.

"something doesn't add up."

Nothing adds up with the department of motor vehicles. Ever. I will be looking into it but this was over a year ago and I will have to go through pages and pages of transactions, recall weather it was paid on the business or personal account, or another personal account I had at the time, if it was cashed, present this to Ca. from here and start a whole new chain of red tape bs. The quick and dirty would be to just get the info and pay it as soon as I can so I can drive legally again.

Wow, I'm glad things turned out as well as they did. After all, what would all the non-Libra ladies on the board do if you were in jail without access to the internet—?

Just kidding - really I'm glad you didn't get arrested.

Yeah I guess I got lucky. He felt bad, he was bored out of his mind and pulled me over because I had a headlight out, which just went out the day before. At the end he appologized for pulling me over, he could tell it was a pretty lame situation.

Getting arrested wouldn't be THAT bad, I would get my own cell because it would be really neglegent to put me in general population seeing as how I would likely run into someone I arrested myself, so....I would have gotten a little special treatment.

hmmm

Nico, you are hilarious!!! Full of excitement!!! Charming the Law!!! You Go Boy!! Something to Eat before you arrest me! LOL!!! I can't take it!!

Ammorocks.."Wow, I'm glad things turned out as well as they did. After all, what would all the non-Libra ladies on the board do if you were in jail without access to the internet—?"

Ditto!!!!

No, Nic = boring board.. (well.. ok.. a bit less exciting board)

Nic.. of course your are hilarious.. we are all at your feet, just eating all this up! Do tell more stories please.. you have enchanted us with YOUR spell..

you have enchanted us with YOUR spell..


well most of you. 😉

"well most of you. "

Be patient I'm still working on you 😉

You have to work hard...remember I'm a bit jaded because of one of your species.

Don't worry. You'll give in sooner or later. 😉

Ok, so....stories.

What kind do you want to hear. It looks like I would be wise to not go driving around at the moment so I guess I have a lot of time on my hands. This would be a good time to have a girlfriend. With a car.

Ok...what kind of stories do you want to hear. A lot of them would be excerpts of funny conversations, which I would have to think on to recall as there have been many, and a lot of them are a bit distant now.

We could make a game out of this. Ask me a wierd, personal question and I will answer honestly and give you any story that pertains to it.

Ready, set, go!

ok NIc....tell us about losing your virginity!!! Any funny stories in that one??

funny stories as in pointing and laughing? 🙂

"ok NIc....tell us about losing your virginity!!! Any funny stories in that one??"

Yes, yes there is in fact. I guess were going to jump right to it aren't we now. Leave it up to the Leo to go strait for the kill.

Ok....I was 17 it was the summer between my junior and senior year. Everyone I knew for some reason already thought I was long into having lots of sex. Just like people alwayse think I have been with a lot more people than I have. Anyway. Into junior year a lot of my friends had already done the 'ol in out and I had many an opportunity by now, but I was kindof having fun seeing how long I could hold out. That all ended when I met little miss Scorpio my Junior year. She was actually a grade or two "Uh, oh" younger than me a virgin as well and it seemed, couldn't lose her virinity soon enough. A couple of months before the school year ended we started seeing each other. She was very sexually direct and aggressive, the girl knew what she wanted. I was actually trying to slow her down a bit, I didn't want her to do anything she would later have second thoughts about...or regrets. I don't like when people have regrets involving me.

So the school year ended and summer came. She lived about 35 miles out of town up by one of the two nearby lakes right in the middle of nowhere. But, I had a car and a chip on my shoulder that pretty much allowed me to do anything I wanted. Being intelligent, I knew that the key to some summer passion was loosening up her mother. I actually called her mother to ask if I could meet her and pick her daughter up at the lake where they both worked. I practically charmed the pants off of her mother. Mission accomplished, she was now mine for the summer.

One day we are out hanging around town. She was really getting impatient about sex by now, so we drove out to my dads house in the country in the opposite direction. She knew exactly why. Well, she opened the door to my room and went right to my bed....I swear she couldn't lose it quick enough.

Up to this point I had seen her naked, but her not really me. Most of the situations we were in up to that point required us to be really discreat as they were only semi private, and nothing blows your cover like a boner hanging out in the breeze. So we are on my bed, things progressing as they do. I must have went down on her for a half hour and she grabbed me by the hair and started kissing me and undoing my pants. Well, she had them off before she stopped kissing me...

"Yes, yes there is in fact. I guess were going to jump right to it aren't we now. Leave it up to the Leo to go strait for the kill" *laffs hysterically*

....like the curious young scorpio she was, she stopped and looked down to see what she was going to be working with. Her eyes went wide and her expression went from one of passion to one of concern.

"Uhhh...thats going to go where?" her voice got a bit higher as the sentence progressed.

I pointed to her crotch.

"How did I not notice that before."

At the time, I was about five foot seven and a hundred and fifteen pounds. When you are well endowed, being a small guy everywhere else only exagerates the magnitued of your endowment. Add the fact she was a physically small girl, and a virgin. So I am on top of her, back to kissing and foreplay and she grabs me down there and starts to guide me in. This girl was AMBITIOUS. Well, I get maybe and inch or two in and it becomes rather apparent that it is going to be a bit of tight fit. Really tight, there wasn't any more give. She wraps her arms around me, grabs my ass and pulls, this girl was determined to have her some good sex. Well, it is actually hurting me, I look down and my d*** is actually bending in the middle. Like a fat man walking on a tightrope, I am starting to fear for my own sexual safety. I mean.....the last thing I wanted was to hear a snap. So, were both pretty frustrated at this point, she looks at me with those intense scorpio eyes and demands me to go get some baby oil. I do....with a generious amount of lube we get things going. I start off nice and easy, figuring things out for the first time and she grabs me by the ass again and pulls me all the way in to her. Well....before our hips touch her arms go from around my back to behind her and she clenches the sheats for traction in a panic and with a look of pain starts to "crawl away" feverishly. Lesson one, not going to be able to go all the way in. Well, we get the first time out of the way and I drive her home. She is riding shotgun whe whole way with her pants off, her legs spread and a dish of ice cubes for her vagina.

We get to her place and she pulls up her pants, walks with a limp and her legs purposely apart, climbs the gate to her property wincing the whole time. If her mom only knew.

Ok, theres the loss of virginity story. Who's next?

omg that's hilarious!!!! OK this inquisitive Leo will leave it to the others LOL...Im still laffing 🙂

Well, now we all know I have no shame seeing as how I just posted the story of losing my virginity on the internet. So, no point in stopping now. A lot of my "funny sex" stories will involve her actually, we were together almost five years and the chemistry was pretty unique.

Next?

ok Im thinking.....ummmm.....your best chat up line??

what do you mean? Pick up line?

yes that'd be the same

Ok.

Chatz, do you still have your virginity?

No that kinda went a while ago LOL.....I tried looking for it but couldn't find it 😛

Hey you asked for us to do this and I seem to be the only one playing!!! give me a break LOL

Well, can I have the box that it came in?

LOL...ummmmmmm 😉

Looks like were the only ones on tonight.

it does...well its afternoon here in Oz but yeah I think we are 😢

Oh yeah it's Saturday night, people prolly have things to do. Wow that sucks, I didn't realize it was saturday night now I am bummed. Chatz, come pick me up and we'll show this town how it's done.

we'll paint it red or something like that.....what time's good for you—

Just get a few drinks in me and time will have no relevance.

the typical Libran!!! LOL

This is a universal thing with you guys Im sure of it - sheesh!!! a drink or 20 and anything is possible!!

Hmmmmm ok well I'll be there in a few days - takes a few to get there ya know?? but I'll be sure to have my dancing shoes on and ready to party 🙂

Thats what I like to hear. 😉

Oh, in Australia guns are a no no aren't they. I should take you shooting, that would be fun.

we have guns, we have shooting ranges....my dad used to...hmmm never mind LOL.

OK Im definitely coming over!!!! give me a bit to get changed first, gotta look my best and all 🙂

Hey, as long as Im not the intended target - that could hurt a tad~!

I am really finding it hard to get motivated into doing what I supposed to be doing. Seems like we are the only ones on... Mind if I join in?

go for it...so far Chatz is the only one playing the game.

but seeing shooting is involved, I might not last much longer!!

Ooooo, you like things that go bang do you?

😛 perhaps

Gotta love the South...

I'll play back, cause I am sooooo bored and so pissed. So....



What is your favorite sense?

Nic that was hisarical!!!! Yeah that fast ass little scorpio got more than she bargained for didn't she? I must say most of the libras I hae been with are well endowed...

We are built for pleasure. 🙂 dang venus blessing us.

Supposedly Libras are usually well indowed but rarely to the point of being huge.

My favorite sense? Definately touch, there is so much information to be extracted from touching someone.