Dealing with conflict and jealousy

A co-worker did something that was clearly a violation of a mutual agreement. She threw me under the bus, and I ended up looking bad in the eyes of upper management. She said she was "caught off guard", however, it does not add up! I was recently offered a promotion and she was not. This is jealousy rearing it's ugly head.

The messed up part is I got this co-worker her job back, and negotiated 3 raises on her behalf in less than 1.5 years.

Oh, we're also "good" friends. She's even talked about me being her maid of honour, and I hosted her on a week long trip abroad earlier this year.

I have Libra Mars and Libra Venus. When something like this happens, I find it very difficult. I expressed displeasure to her about the situation, and then went about the work day. Inside though, I feel sad that she turned out to be a jealous user who isn't happy for her friends.

Curious to know how other Libras deal with friends who treat them badly - do you forgive? do you move on? do you get even? How do you process something like this? How do you act from now on towards this person?

We have an agreement that if someone phones in the morning for the person who might be running late, the other won't say that because it obviously makes the person look bad. This was her idea to "cover" for each other. It's been working out great for her and she takes full advantage of it.

She knew that I would be coming in later in the morning to pick up supplies. Someone from upper management phoned for me and she said I was late for work.

And I did. She left early that SAME day she said I was late and expected me to cover for her *eyeroll*. She's a full on user 😢

I didn't even take the promotion because I'm going on a working holiday soon. I've been in school full time for the past year, and my boss waited for me to finish and offered it to me. She's jealous because it wasn't offered to her. Technically I'm not above her in terms of position right now.

Would you still be friends with someone like this? We have mutual friends. How do you be the bigger person but protect yourself from being further used?

Yup, just that I was running late. Nice huh?

Posted by beautifuldiaster

Posted by SunMoonStars
And I did. She left early that SAME day she said I was late and expected me to cover for her *eyeroll*. She's a full on user 😢

I didn't even take the promotion because I'm going on a working holiday soon. I've been in school full time for the past year, and my boss waited for me to finish and offered it to me. She's jealous because it wasn't offered to her. Technically I'm not above her in terms of position right now.

Would you still be friends with someone like this? We have mutual friends. How do you be the bigger person but protect yourself from being further used?

Awe.

I hate these situations. Could be a blessing in the long run - at least now you know.


I'd keep distance emotionally. Work on not letting her affect your mood at work while she is there.


I wouldn't distance myself to prevent being hurt, (cause I see hurting as a form of healing and growth) id do it because you jabe an emotional reaxtion to it and you may not be ready to fake the smile and carry on.

but I'd be smart about clearing the air and voicing how it made you feel when the time is right.

click to expand

Good point. I'm not going to run away, distancing myself emotionally is good advice. It is what it is, I feel like she drew the line.

I let her know immediately when I got there that what she said made me look bad. She said "stuff happens...didn't mean to make you look bad". What else can she say? I said "yea...stuff happens". Then I got back to work. I still covered for her when she left early and offered to cover a shift for her because of her personal reasons.

Posted by Sugarfoot
Yea I had a friend who was treating me badly. I ended it. It took me a long time and few tries to make it stick but yes we're no longer friends. I noticed not long ago that she deleted me from fb too. lol. As if I was the one who wronged her! smh. Anyway, it was the same type of deal. Not happy for me, debbie downing any good thing that came my way, wishing ill on me. However, she showed the most excitement whenever something bad happened for me. She was the catalyst behind the most traumatic breakup I've ever had. It was getting worse and worse. Finally she hung up the phone on me because I told her something about herself that she didn't like, and I never spoke to her again.

I don't know how to keep dealing with people who treat me badly. I burn lots of bridges because I just don't know how to reconcile being friends with someone who is jealous of you and would rather see you doing bad than good. That is a negative situation to me and it's potentially dangerous (the way I see it).

I realized that I don't have many close friends left. 2 to be precise. I started wondering what would if be like if one of them wrongs me somehow that I find unforgivable. I would lose them too?

My bff is good a keeping people around that she has problems with. I asked her how does she just move forward still being cool with that person. She said she meets them where they're at. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Where they're at is a place I don't wanna be and I ain't goin. I'll probably end up friendless.

Yes, it's tough as people are flawed 😢 I wish I knew. My first instinct was to burn bridges too, but my friend said "keep your friends close, your enemies closer". I don't wish to meet her on her level either though, if I give her my integrity too, that would be the ultimate fail for me.

Posted by beautifuldiaster
Don't let her have any reason to throw you under the bus in the future. Still cover her if it doesn't jepordize your job and for now on be on time... Which libras are notorious for not being on time ha-ha.

Agreed. I won't give her any more reason to do that.

I feel that jealousy comes out in passive aggressive ways and someone where long the lines insecurity has stepped in but all you can do it to be honest and address it head on. If the friends can not be truthful and you keep seeing the patterns of this behavior then you have the right to step away until she is able to see her own faults and miss the friendship and by that point the re-connection will be on your terms. I think that a lot of people are having a hard time dealing with their inner emotions, failures and conflicts of being mistreated I mean there is really no platform for the lost, abused, and low in spirit these days but she shouldn't take it out on you and if she has a problem she can only address it.