Is crying viewed as being manipulative?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by Pwanderer on Tuesday, August 11, 2015 and has 13 replies.

Profile picture of Pwanderer
@Pwanderer
11 Years

Hi guys! I'm a Pisces and I have a Libra roommate. A little while ago we weren't on the best of terms. Meaning She would complain A LOT and I feel like she was being a big hypocrite, and two faced. I had really bad anxiety and I couldn't shake the feeling that I just had to talk to her about how I felt. The first time I attempted to, I just started crying, it was in public and I was really embarrassed. Now that I look back on it I feel like she thought I was trying to manipulate her. It was never my intention, I don't cry to guilt people like people try to say about Pisces. It was truly how I felt at the time, and I couldn't help it. Anyway I just wanted to know how other Libras might have felt about the situation.

Profile picture of ladylibra21
@ladylibra21
11 Years1,000+ Posts

I have had that feeling before like I thought someone was trying to manipulate me with crying, but she will probably take what you say and evaluate it from all sides then make a decision on how sorry she should feel that you were being sincere.

Profile picture of woodenmeow
@woodenmeow
13 Years

I am a pisces too and I had a boyfriend that was a Libra and when he would upset me. I would cry and he would say Stop manipulating me. And I really wasn't. I was just upset by the situation and things he had done.

Profile picture of gemguyaz34
@gemguyaz34
11 Years500+ PostsGemini

I really think it depends on how well you know your Libra. How developed the friendship/relationship is. Mine has only brought me to tears a few times and it was because I misread their lack of attention toward me (it was over the course of many days) and they did not like when I called them out on it. However they came around and wanted to talk about it, because as a Gemini, they know, I WILL ignore them if they don't solve the problem and the very thought of that drives them crazy. In other words, they know they must have done something wrong for me to be upset and they want to resolve whatever the issue is as quickly as possible. Think it just depends moreso on their level of maturity and how well they are grounded. This usually comes with age. If things are in the beginning stages of the friendship or relationship it is very easy to be misread. But you also need to be fair and realize when you are wrong too. Don't allow every little thing to upset you. Libra's like positivity and that is why they may feel manipulated so if you are really upset you at least need to be sure reasons for being that way are well founded so that they will understand. Just my two cents from what I've experienced. Thankfully in my case these issues for me are very very few and far between.

Profile picture of gemguyaz34
@gemguyaz34
11 Years500+ PostsGemini

Posted by ladylibra21
I have had that feeling before like I thought someone was trying to manipulate me with crying, but she will probably take what you say and evaluate it from all sides then make a decision on how sorry she should feel that you were being sincere.

It's true. All about the facts and how you present them.

Profile picture of jeane
@jeane
12 Years5,000+ Posts

honestly? if we weren't on the best of terms and there was tension, then yes, i'd think you were trying to pull a fast one - especially pulling that kind of stuff in public.

Profile picture of Pwanderer
@Pwanderer
11 Years

Posted by jeane
honestly? if we weren't on the best of terms and there was tension, then yes, i'd think you were trying to pull a fast one - especially pulling that kind of stuff in public.

It was more so me being upset with her. It wasn't 50/50, I told her let's talk about it later, but she kind of insisted to talk about it now. Honestly didn't think I was going to cry it just kind of happened. When I cry its about me not about the other person necessarily.

Profile picture of Pwanderer
@Pwanderer
11 Years

@Supreme you're right I do hold things in a lot. I probably shouldn't but In the moment that I am angry I don't know how to "kindly" say how I feel without regretting what I said later.

Profile picture of Pwanderer
@Pwanderer
11 Years

Posted by gemguyaz34
I re. But you also need to be fair and realize when you are wrong too. Don't allow every little thing to upset you.

I'm starting to realize that I shouldn't care so much. I kind of just take things she says with a grain of salt. Thanks!

Profile picture of jeane
@jeane
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Pwanderer

Posted by jeane
honestly? if we weren't on the best of terms and there was tension, then yes, i'd think you were trying to pull a fast one - especially pulling that kind of stuff in public.

It was more so me being upset with her. It wasn't 50/50, I told her let's talk about it later, but she kind of insisted to talk about it now. Honestly didn't think I was going to cry it just kind of happened. When I cry its about me not about the other person necessarily.

click to expand

i believe you but then again we have no history. i'm just saying if i am already a little defensive with someone i don't assume the best. i'm suspicious because their actions up to that point would have told me that i'm not to believe them at face value.

Profile picture of Pwanderer
@Pwanderer
11 Years

Posted by woodenmeow
I am a pisces too and I had a boyfriend that was a Libra and when he would upset me. I would cry and he would say Stop manipulating me. And I really wasn't. I was just upset by the situation and things he had done.

Basically how I feel! Like its about me and my feelings not about you!

Profile picture of Pwanderer
@Pwanderer
11 Years

Posted by jeane

Posted by Pwanderer

Posted by jeane
honestly? if we weren't on the best of terms and there was tension, then yes, i'd think you were trying to pull a fast one - especially pulling that kind of stuff in public.

It was more so me being upset with her. It wasn't 50/50, I told her let's talk about it later, but she kind of insisted to talk about it now. Honestly didn't think I was going to cry it just kind of happened. When I cry its about me not about the other person necessarily.

i believe you but then again we have no history. i'm just saying if i am already a little defensive with someone i don't assume the best. i'm suspicious because their actions up to that point would have told me that i'm not to believe them at face value.

click to expand

I see what you are saying, probably because I felt the same way about her.

Profile picture of rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
14 Years10,000+ Posts

You cried because she was a hypocrite and it bothered you? :/

I'm not understanding why you cried to begin with... Maybe she isn't either, which is where the "manipulation" assumption comes from.

But regardless, if someone immediately says you're manipulating because you're crying, they're a fucking asshole.

Profile picture of Fleshpot
@Fleshpot
11 Years1,000+ Posts

"A crying woman is a scheming woman
False in hair, false in eyes
False in breast, teeth, and thighs."

I think crying is so unproductive.