Libra man & Scorpio woman ... decoding behavior

I live with a Libra guy. I'm not sure how I got to this place, but I will say that's it's been an eye-opening experience. I've noticed that recently, he's incorporating another facet to his personality. The quiet kind. He can spend 20 minutes chatting on the phone with his best buddy, but can't muster up more than a few words to me when we're home.

I told him that I loved him about a month ago. We had never said it before. He replied with, "it's all good" and then made sure I wasn't pissed off at him.

I'm not mad at him. I understand that he's trying to "decide" how he feels and that it could take a while. I also understand that he and I have different ways of expressing our feelings in that I want to be affectionate and he's more help oriented; doing things for me, taking care. My fear is that my need for affection will wear him out and ultimately drive him away.

Are there other things that Libra's want to hear or interpret as a sign of anothers love? I have a feeling, hearing ILY all the time isn't their idea of actual feelings.

Being a Scorp woman divorced from a libra man and 80% of my relationships and involvements have been with librans. Scorp/libra combo can be difficult. We think differently, communicate differently and scorps have to understand that librans are more logical, and we are more emotional.

Surprisingly he hasn't become more emotional with you. We scorps seem to pull out major emotions in libra males that they themselves can't believe it.

He isn't going to do the whole I love you emotional worldwind. He would rather show you and when he is comfortable he will say it and mean it. Although in my relationships with them all but one told me they loved me first. Hmmmm.

QS - I was glad that you responded. Im new to these boards and have read your advice in the others.

Libra man and I have had turbulent childhoods without much parental support. I'm not sure if that comes into play here, but I think it may effect the way we both approach relationships.

My main thing is that I want him to know that he is loved and cared for. Words seem to be the only way I can do that.

You may like to try engaging him with symbols instead of words. The analytical mind of a Libra will appreciate that. Emotions are not a huge territory Libra wants to explore this lifetime. They do feel as much if not more, but the way emotions are channeled may not be an overt one. It can be sort of like embers glowing within; and a Libra who loves you just beams inside and may silently adore you.
Being loved and cared for is like catching them when they fall and being there for them in a constant and unwavering fashion. Being anchored is a way to tame the flighty winds.

* I want to be affectionate and he's more help oriented; doing things for me, taking care. My fear is that my need for affection will wear him out and ultimately drive him away.

To be honest, you just don't sound compatible. If you want someone who is really openly affectionate and he is uncomfortable with that, as it seems from your post, it probably won't work out long term.

When I love someone, I am like a little puppy dog. I get so excited. I am all huggy and kissy. I cuddle constantly. I not only crave the physical comfort of the other person but I need it. Being with someone who is not openly affectionate like this slowly breaks my spirit.

As I always say, go where it is easy. This doesn't sound easy.

It also sounds like he feels the need to find space and privacy. You may want to figure out a clever way of giving him space/privacy/freedom without him knowing it. i.e. giving him a room for his "office" or something. Sounds like a definate space/privacy issue going on from his end too.

Thanks for all your responses. It's been 2 years that we've been together and he's gotten more openly affectionate over time. I don't think that he was touched (appropriately) enough as a child. Although he won't initiate it, he's always receptive when I steal a few from him. I need to keep his progress in the forfront of my mind ... or else .... or else I'll be complaining about his Libra-isms constantly. 🙂

LS - I feel that "going where it's easy" can backfire more often than not. Relationships aren't supposed to be easy, in my opinion. Ones that last, anyway ... If it's easy, we aren't challenged to learn about ourselves or about our partner, 'cause things just work. Personally, I'd like to learn a bit while I'm in it.

I think that is one of the fundamental differences between Scorp/water and Libra/air. You guys are convinced that everything has to be hard and serious. Libras ? generally at the real heart of things ?. just want to have fun and enjoy. For me, relationships are where you go to escape from the outside world, they are the soft place to land.

If you are going to be with someone for 50 years, wouldn't you much rather have a relationship filled with fun, laughter, and joy than constantly struggling to get your needs met? I sure would.

But perhaps that is the difference between you and me.

Hope it all works out!

Also, if I may add, becareful of wanting to change your partner. No one really wants to be a work in progress. They just want to be accepted as they are. MHO.

LS - No doubt that being a work in progress can strain things. I'm not attempting to change him, but more noticing his actions over time. I have never requested that he do anything that wasn't comfortable for him. I can agree with the differences of water/air. I just thought that being cognesant about our differences would help me to see that it wasn't that he didn't "care about me," but more than he has a different way of showing it. His way is = to my way; just a different language.

I have only been with a long line of Pices prior to this. Lovey-dovey and full of romantic prose. Under the surface of my Libra, I can sense that there are feelings. It's more real than the words and outward expressions of the fish before him.

KG - I feel that my life's goal is to overcome the childhood trauma and learn that not all people are unworthy of trust. Just sucks, being a Scorp and all, trusting doesn't come naturally.

Kenny

What wonderful posts!

It is so true that love is born out of trust. It only comes with time and consistency. I truly appreciate that you said that and have been thinking about it for several days. Although I know if I can love you from the moment I meet you, I can only trust you in time and consistency and that little spark of love becomes more.

I also truly appreciate that what you said to your partner about having the time of your life now. What a beautiful stunning compliment!

You are such a wonderful person. I am so happy that life has graced you with this time.

Much love to you my friend!

if he can't talk to you then its pretty much fcked.

Being the impatient lazy not wanting to read everyone's post scorp that I am. I just want to point out a few things:

Librans are wonderful. They are thoughtful, they are kind, they may be aloof at times not as affectionate as my fellow water signs would like, but this is where acceptance and understanding of the other comes in.

As LS stated, if what he lacks is most important then you probably should go whee it is easy. No relationship should be HARD! I am sorry you disagree, but why? Life is hard enough, a relationship is one place where you should be able to go for peace. It should be your little piece of heaven in this big complicated world. Seriously. Yes, it's never perfect, yes, it takes some work, but it should never be a burden or strain.

blue-eyed, what does your chart look like with your libran man? it can speak volumes. have one done.

Listen to Queenscorpio and Little Sparrow. Both have terrific insights.

The one thing that stands out to me is that he isn't talking to you. Honey, we can talk the paint off the walls. LOL What is going on? What are you not saying? Have you been critical? Have you shown him the Scorpio freeze out?

Him not talking is major.

I had that chart done. My Libra and I have a soul mate connection, supposedly.

Him/ Me
Rising: Leo/ Sag
Sun: Libra/ Scorpio
Moon: Cancer/ Scorpio
Mer: Virgo/ Scorpio
Venus: Scorpio/ Libra
Mars: Scorpio/ Sag
Jup: Leo/ Libra
Saturn: Virgo/ Libra
Ur: Scorp/ Scorp
Nep: Sag/ Sag
Pluto: Libra/ Libra

He ultimately decided last week, that we need to move on from each other. I moved out and have not heard from him since. I said some very mean things, which I regret now. I did explain to him that I was frustrated and said things out of anger and lack of sleep.

I hope he comes back ... and I hope I have enough patience to wait for him to return.

I didn't see this thread until now. The part where you said he could chat it up on the phone with friends then so vocally closed off with you is something I can really relate with.

From another Libra male this tends to happen when someone is seeking my attention. From the blunt "Talk to me" or "what are you thinking" to the more subtle acting like the the other person is waiting for me to strike up a conversation.

When we first get to know someone we talk about everything. Our pasts, our childhood, our dreams, molecular biology...crap we can talk about anything.

For us the getting to really know someone inside comes from all of the subtleties that one can't hide when engaged in all of these conversations. There comes a point where it feels like everything has already been talked about and our purpose of understanding the other person has been accomplished it becomes hard for us to talk.

We also don't like being put on the spot which is a really akward when mixed with the fact that we hate to hurt the other persons feelings or wanting to get into an argument so we remain mostly silent.

We do so much and take the other person into so much consideration with every little thing we do that when we get questions like "why don't you talk to me anymore?" The first thing that goes through our head is....Ok...today I didn't take one of my breaks at work and overanalized the order in which I ran errands after work AND left out doing something I wanted to do for myself today AND since I have been home I ignored three phone calls all because you mentioned we haven't seen each other enough lately and I wanted to give you time to ourselves and now I don't talk enough....say something interresting and I'll start talking.

We really do this.