The Latest and Greatest - Update

I haven't been posting as much lately because I've been busy with the guy I've mentioned on here a few times.

To those interested, here's an update.

We have not slowed down yet! He still wants to see me virtually everyday. I was going to go home this holiday weekend, but my plans changed so he and I spent Thursday night together, we were both off for Good Friday, and we stayed "in bed" until 4 or so in the afternoon, then we went out Friday night (he insisted on doing the proper date thing and picked me up) and had a blast. When I hinted to him that I was going to go home after that night, he all but begged that I stay with him again, so I did. We lazed around all day Saturday, except for the awesome 4 or 5 times he wanted to "play". He finally took me home around 1 pm Sunday afternoon. He had an afternoon committment to a buddy of his, so he hung out with him until 9 pm, when I promptly got a phone call from him. I was busy cleaning house and watching TV, but I invited him over to watch a movie I'd rented (The Holiday).

All in all, things are going great. Funny thing is - I'm secure with him that I'm not at all feeling pressure to pressure him into the "where are we" talk. He's mentioned to me last week that the only thing holding him back from committing is he needs to know deep in his heart that he can trust again since he gave his heart to someone, was married for 7 years, and was hurt. I told him I wasn't asking for a committment, etc. He said that every fiber in his being is telling him that we were made for each other...that melted my heart on the spot!

Friday night, we went to a concert. It's a local artist whom I follow to a great extent. He enjoyed the concert a lot. We got a picture together with this singer, took lots of pictures, and got some autographed items. There's one song on the CD he bought that he'd never heard before that he kept singing all weekend. Some of the lyrics are:
"Love is so sweet
It makes you bounce when you walk down the street
You could learn a lot from me
Hey I - I've gotta say
I have looked at life a whole n'other way
Love is so sweet
It makes you bounce when you walk down the street
One thing in common is we all are different
And we're supposed to be that way
Live and let live is such a good reminder
You'd do well to be that way
Hey I - I've gotta say
I have looked at life a whole n'other way
Love is so sweet
It makes you bounce when you walk down the street"

At first

At first, I thought it was cute because the song is catchy...but then he kept singing it. After I'd been apart from him Sunday afternoon, he sent me a text msg that said "Love is so sweet - makes you bounce"...then last night right before we went to sleep, I heard him singing the chorus again.

I'm trying not to think too hard about this, but of all the songs, why that one?

it looks like to me.. hes all yours!

He's just in love, in my opinion. But, what do I know, I'm in love. So, everyone else appears to be in love. I would do the text the song lyrics thing though. OMG I'm sleepy.

***I was busy cleaning house and watching TV, but I invited him over to watch a movie I'd rented (The Holiday).***

Wow I watched the movie this weekend and so did a party of interest... The Holiday was the movie of love this past weekend. Wow!!!

**He said that every fiber in his being is telling him that we were made for each other...**

Okay, HP ya freakin me out. Our lives have been in sync lately, same exact words have been said to me over and over and over over the past couple weeks and there have been signs to prove it. Libra love is grand... ***Sigh***

He loves you girl!!! No doubt!!! Yay!!! It is awesome. I know.

*sigh*

Don't sigh too loud, Atom. I'm having a huge issue with his idea that I should go dutch everytime we go out. He makes twice as much as me salary-wise and asks me to go places, yet I find myself spending money more than him once we're there.

It's really irritating, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. Money always causes arguments.

Woah, HP, that is a little concerning. Doesn't sound like a libra to me at all though... K.. Ya need to bring it up. Wierd and that would be a concern of mine as well.

On a brighter not, my Libra is sending for me to FL this weekend... Hehehe. I am sooo gitty... Yeah, girl, that doesn't sound too good.

NO sighs Atom, you will find a Leo who will be a breathe of fresh air to you. Have you on fire!!!

HP,I mean don't get me wrong it is okay to go dutch sometimes, but he makes double your salary and it is often and sometimes you spend more. Oh no, that would be an issue for me.

Yeah, HP, I would talk to him about it. If you want a healthy relationship with him, then you need to be able to voice your concerns. If you do not, then they can never be resolved and they will continue to bother you until it degrades your entire relationship.

I am glad that everything else is going so great! I am so happy for you! But, you need to voice this concern, or it will drag down all of your interactions with your Libra.

Tom, I am sorry, but I think that you are correct. Your Libra girl is either broken, or something. I don't think that she is in the place to have a true romantic relationship with you. I concur with QS. You need to go find you a hot, firey Leo girl (maybe one in Oz?!?)...


I just had the most amazing weekend of my life! Weee! 🙂

***I just had the most amazing weekend of my life! Weee! ***

Alcheme, I am sure I will be repeating this same phrase after this weekend. Can't wait!!!

"Alcheme, I am sure I will be repeating this same phrase after this weekend. Can't wait!!!"

Oh, I have no doubts that you will be! I can't wait either!!! 🙂

HP, a guy's perspective on going dutch: he's a GUY! He knows---or should know---or respect you so much or desire to show you how important you are to him--that he will SELDOM ask you to go dutch. I don't get it! My rule of thumb is: if I like a girl and I ask her out, I pay for the meal. Period. If SHE asks me, I'm prepared to go dutch or pay for it entirely, but since SHE asked, I assume she's going to pay---if she doesn't, that's okay. The other circumstance is that if a woman tells me outright BEFORE the meal that we're going dutch, that's my expectation. Frankly, in my mind, it doesn't matter who makes more money or not---there have been times I've gone out with a woman who made more money than me and I just paid for it. To me, this is a respect / honouring you thing---the PRIVILEDGE of treating you!

Also, the way I would handle it if I were you is to EMBARASS him about this. INSIST on paying for the next three meals entirely. Make a big deal about paying for them, in a friendly way, of course. ANY man (real man) I know would be SHAMED that he put this going dutch pressure on you----and start paying all the time. You certainly find out if he's a MAN! (Unless it's just some weird culture thing). A suggestion, BUT I imagine QS and al' think it's a good one.

HP, you've got email, ding, ding, ding.

You too Alcheme, ding, ding, ding

"Also, the way I would handle it if I were you is to EMBARASS him about this. INSIST on paying for the next three meals entirely. Make a big deal about paying for them, in a friendly way, of course. ANY man (real man) I know would be SHAMED that he put this going dutch pressure on you----and start paying all the time. You certainly find out if he's a MAN! (Unless it's just some weird culture thing). A suggestion, BUT I imagine QS and al' think it's a good one."

I am sorry, but I disagree.

One, perhaps it is just me, but that to me is playing games... If you have a problem with someone or something that someone does, you talk to it about them. You both get a chance to maturely discuss your reasons and feelings and gain a greater understanding of each other.

Two, if you care about someone, why in hell would you want to embarass them? Yeah, they may be doing something you do not like, but you don't know why. And, beyond that, why doesn't really matter. I would NEVER in my life want to purposefully embarass someone I care about.

"HP, you've got email, ding, ding, ding.

You too Alcheme, ding, ding, ding"

LOL!! Thanks, lemme go check...

woot, i like email.

"I would NEVER in my life want to purposefully embarass someone I care about."

Okay, so that is not entirely true. In the case of joking around with them, hell yeah, I would embarass the pants off them (preferrably underwear too), but that is just having fun with each other...

er, al', I'm not referring to PUBLICALY embarassing them. Yeah, it's purposeful in that there's a reason for doing it---is it game playing or just being subtle? Do you think it's better to get in an argument about it?

'Sorry, al', if I assumed you would agree with this approach---I've known other Scorps that would love the subtlety of it. And, frankly. I'd rather spoil a woman by buying her dinner---er, is THAT game playing? Can ANYTHING be considered game playing? Shoot, maybe HE'S game playing to see what HP's threshold is.

"'Sorry, al', if I assumed you would agree with this approach"

Oh, I didn't take any offense. Just offering up my half a cent...

Ummm, I dunno. I just think that being upfront is better than not. I don't mean getting in an agrument, but just a discussion. I would like to think that two mature adults in a relationship that is currently on the track to be a long-term relationship should be able to discussion the issues between them and reach a resolution (through compromise, adjustment, or if just in understanding).

Maybe when you used the words "embarass him" you meant it in a completely different manner than I took it in... I can appreciate subtlety, especially in the hopes of sparing someone's hurt feelings, but embarassing them (publically or personally) wouldn't fall into that category for me. I merely would be devestated to hurt someone I care about, in anyway. Not that you meant for her to truly hurt him, I am sure, just a little wake up call... But, to embarass them in any form or fashion would be to hurt them in some way.

Subtle? Ummmm, I dunno, maybe...? Maybe the next time he asks to go out, mention that you cannot afford to be going out as much as you have and ask if he would mind to stay in. I dunno, though. It might or might not achieve getting your point across, which is that you have a problem with him always expecting you to pay for your "half" even when he is the one doing the asking / instigating. Tom's way, or the way I suggested, isn't going to ensure that he understands that, or that you understand where he was coming from (he may have a logical explanation in his mind, from his perspective, that could help to alleviate some of the frustration still lingering in your mind from his actions).

I am not entirely certain how you would go about discussing it, but if you are hoping for this relationship to last, then I tend to believe, personally, to not try to discuss it with him shortchanges both of you and by extension your relationship and its future. Perhaps, if it is easier, try an e-mail. Cheesy cop-out, I suppose, but it would allow you to get your thoughts together on the issue in the way you would want, without interuption, ensure that you can get the point across objectively, instead of emotionally, and give him a chance to mull over it, instead feeling like he is being forced to respond immediately. Granted, only you know you, him, and your relationship well enough to know where to go from here...

I used to pay for everything all the time when I took girls out.......well.....with most girls it doesn't work out and all you have to show for it is an empty bank account. It seems like it should be really simple but for some reason it is really hard for me to find a middle ground concerning mony and going out with girls. I am either to stingy or too spendy....I usually go along with too spendy because I don't like to be thought of as stingy.

I guess what I am saying is.....I guarentee he actually wants to pay for everything, has an inner desire that is actually fulfilled when he does most of the spending but what is keeping him from doing it is the exact same thing that is keeping him from commiting. If i "expend" too much and it doesn't work out....i'll feel like a fool.

So, I would just tell him "I'm not mad or anything, but we need to find a way to do things a little less expensive because I was checking my bank account and realized I can't really afford what we have been doing." He will immediately get the message.

Oh, nic', you are always SO GOOD on your advice. You really should write an advice column. And, al', I think you are looking at the big picture ESPECIALLY since most relationships disintegrate due to misunderstandings about money. I know one friend of mine whose girl friend went BALLISTIC on him when he suggested she help with the tip one time---he'd been paying for EVERY meal up to then. It goes both ways.

*sigh*

"The paying for things".. thing.. is weird. Aqua's don't like to take anyting from anyone bc then we feel like we owe you.. and we hate being in debted to anyone. My libra ALWAYS insists on paying for everything.. to the point we argue in the store, theatre, restaurant, arcade.. and finally he will say.. "ok, i will let you pay next time", but then the next time he says.. next time... I was thinking it was an ego thing.. he likes being the "man".. but I am not sure. I hate to think of how much he spends on me when I visit. It is always well over $ 300.. I know I owe him big time and would love to repay him in other ways 😉.. but oh well.. he won't take that from me either.. So, what is a girl to do, but sit back and enjoy the ride until I have my next "break down".. bc he hasn't called or something stupid 🙂

Update everyone. He and I are now exclusive!!!

I need someone to get giddy with....

"Update everyone. He and I are now exclusive!!!"

LOL! WTF?!? Hahaha! Considering you never had time to date anyone else because you were always with him, I would have thought that was already a given...? Okay, apparently I am just socially up to par on this dating thing, because I have never actually EVER had an exclusivity (is that a word?) talk.

But, off the humor... Congrats!!! Sounds like a good step in the right direction! So, have we brooched the money issue or are you hoping it is going to change with the exclusive thing?

Go have some drinks tonight to celebrate (and loads of hot OMG sex!!!)...

lol, touche'. he brought up the subject of exclusivity (yes, it's a word). I tell you this guy is 180 degrees than any man I've ever known....ok except for the whole money thing.

things will change with the money thing. we talked a little about it. was it you that suggested a 'date wallet'? I mentioned that to him and he liked that idea.

(It's getting hot in here)

His big ride is this weekend (he's a cyclist and is cycling 200 miles in one day)...we talked about slowing things down this week so he has energy to finish the race. I pouted. LOL

HP pouting—

well...we're doing the key exchange tonight...scary good. actually, that's a good thing, right?

Wow! Of course, it is a good thing, right? It should be a good thing... But, if you are not quite comfortable with it, then it might not be. Are you comfortable with it and want to progress to that step? If not, then there is nothing wrong with wanting to take it a little bit slower...

As in to eachother's houses?

yes

i mean that's a HUGE step...that is a HUGE step in trust. Scary.

but he's coming over tonight and I plan to talk to him about this and make sure that we are both OK with this. I haven't completely thought it all out and I don't think he realizes what kind of step this is for both of us.

Okay crazy girl... What else do you need from this guy to show how serious he is... No more doubtful questions!!! This is ver serious for a Libra, very. Yay!!! I know you are fine with it right?

He called me "baby" last night.

FINALLY...got a cooing name.

Yes!!! I know these dudes huh? I told you... Hehehe 🙂

He was calling me "girl" and "Short Stack" before that...The "girl" was irritating me.

But I don't know if it's serious to him or if he's doing it out of convenience. Reason being is because last night I worked late and it was my turn to cook dinner, but I didn't leave until an hour after I'd planned to. And he didn't get my VM until he was sitting in front of my house, so he mentioned jokinly at first "too bad I didn't have a key or I would have put dinner on so you didn't have to worry about it"....

and I get on him because he leaves his front door unlocked. so he mentioned that keys would be a good idea since i'm so worried about leaving doors unlocked.

***But I don't know if it's serious to him or if he's doing it out of convenience. Reason being is because last night I worked late and it was my turn to cook dinner, but I didn't leave until an hour after I'd planned to. And he didn't get my VM until he was sitting in front of my house, so he mentioned jokinly at first "too bad I didn't have a key or I would have put dinner on so you didn't have to worry about it"....***


Uhhh, he wouldn't have initiated the key thing if he didn't mean it..

You better stop with the questions, or I am going to strangle you. Let the man love you... Geeeezzzzzeeee.

Short Stack - term of endearment. Girl- as in "my girl" ?

I think you worry too much and need to relax. Your an awesome woman who found an awesome man that needs to stop thinking about when the other shoe is going to drop and let yourself go.

The "are you sure?", "I am sure if your sure?", "I am sure but I want you to be sure", "were both sure?" "sure!" ;
It is like your both afraid of what you want. I'm not harping on you, I think it is really funny and you guys are awesome and you seem to find something to worry about and need to chill.

no, just girl.

"Ok, girl...see you later"
"See you tonight, girl"

NOT as in "How's my girl doing today?"

LOL.

High five QS.

Tag teamed.

***High five QS.***

Back at cha Nic. I be tryna tell deez girlz how to pleaz u boyz... LOL!!! 🙂

😄

I guess by me talkign about this on here is a way for me to express how awesome it really is to have found someone like this guy...BUT yes I am insecure because of the past experiences I've had with some men.

Sorry if I bug you guys, but I'm just happy and you guys are afterall my sounding board.

When she starts posting about stupid arguments for the sake of arguing and getting on each others nerves and telling each other to shut up starting a towel snapping war then we'll know they made the smooth transition into "committed".