This Libra Guy and I - I am not sure how to proceed

I am an Aquarius woman Aqua Sun, Moon, and Mercury (Venus in Sag). This guy is a Libra Sun (not sure of his moon) but a Scorpio in Venus. Now, this is my thing.... we started dating about 3 months ago. We dived in with the sex. I mean we are attracted to each other ridiculously. I have the hardest time reading this man although I can read most of him. My aqua gets int he way. Here is the tea -

So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined. We have since formed this weird open relationship/friendship at which we are technically allowed to see other people. He made a very self-centered statement on Memorial day that although he knows its a double standard, no woman he is dealing with can date other guys even if he does.

I laughed because he said he wants a woman who caters to him. He swears he wanted to get married again. However, every woman that has ALL the qualities he is looking for, he bypasses them to deal with me. And I did go on a date with another guy (he did something petty to get me back - by laying up with another woman he is most likely going to say he is no longer interested in by the end of the week.) He keeps bringing up the guy repeatedly. However, he still makes his way into my face - that goes against his statement.

Unlike a normal aqua move, I made him fully aware that I keep things open between us because of his player (not his flirtatious nature) ways. So until he calms down, I do not want a relationship.

He does spend all his time calling me and actually coming over, taking me out, introduced me to his daughter and his best friend (girl). He does tell me all his deep dark secrets and thoughts. Insecurities, etc. He has expressed he cannot talk to no one the way he talks to me but I am rough around the edges and he doesn't like that I am hard with him. We developed a pretty solid friendship of free expression.

My confusion is what does this guy want exactly? Because he says he wants me in his life forever and he acts on it. That is clear but apparently his need for multiple women in his space (or rather on the other end of his phone). He meets new women daily (even though they only last about 3 days).

In my mind, he is still hunting for who he wants and has me to help him pass time - although he showers me with attention and even cancels dates to be with me. His actions say, I love you and really want you in my life but his other side says, but I need someone else. He has come when I was sick and nursed me back to health. He does come by when I am feeling emotional about tragic things in my life. He has been very giving and supportive. When I have something to say, he listens.

We don't argue, we discuss things. He makes "future plans". If he says he coming to me, he's coming. He has even shown up to my house while I was sleep and let himself in twice. He shows up unannounced. He randomly takes me on dates. He says he is treating me really good. But keep in mind - He is a Casanova and has swayed so many women before me. Part of me feels like its a game because I am what he calls a "tough cookie".

Recently, I started stroking his ego. Becoming more catering to his needs. I also expressed that I felt he was indeed playing games. He said "there is no need for you to feel that way, you are my friend. I would never want you to feel like that." He even went far as laughing when I got jealous and said there is no need for that - I have nothing to worry about.

Am I reading this wrong? I don't care to change it. I rather he is with whom and where he wants to be. I just want to act accordingly. I can be more emotionally available for someone else and still support him as a friend - which I have expressed this. He claims don't want that but the constant adding of a new chick is telling me something different. Or is he just trying to make me see other women desperately want him and I am tripping by not giving him a chance (because he always gloats on how different women want him and desire to marry him)?

If this post is confusing you - it's because I am just that confused. LOL

He friendzoned you did he not. Girl, get yourself a real man with his priorities straight.

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

I think she knew he was gonna lie and cheat and she thought she could out-play the player. She was wrong.

click to expand

How did she know tho. I'm curious about that part of the story.

Perception very rarely stacks up to reality.

Posted by SassyKiwi

He friendzoned you did he not. Girl, get yourself a real man with his priorities straight.

He did. I am just double checking with the libra gang that he means what he says. He encouraged me to go on the date and then got upset when I went - like wtf? Then said "oh you need permission" LOL. I almost choked on my own laughs - and yes I laughed in his face and said - "I thought about you the entire time".

I also run his business now. And when I start doing me, which is 1-2-3 as I have expressed, I don't want any issues. My last relationship with a Libra (who is now deceased), never meant what he said. He just wanted to play hard but he was faithful (and acted like a spoiled brat to get his way - I cave sometimes - I don't mind). This is my second Libra, I don't mind being a friend. I just don't think he will take it well. I do have a love for him and want him to be happy. He is a really cool guy outside of what I am expressing here. Most Libras are just awesome all the way around. However, it doesn't have to be with me. I do have another guy I am feeling (not the one I went out with).

He seems pretty possessive and there are things he has said and does, that makes me truly believe if I remotely attempt to push him to side, I am going to see another side of him. He is very one-sided. I really don't get it. So I have attempted to end things - which I could with ease. He acts like a spoiled brat and says things, It doesn't end until I say so. I can walk around with my headphones on and he will begin to make statements loudly like - "Who you on the phone with? - tell that dude I don't play" Mind you, I am not on the phone with anyone.

He has two options - get his act together and he won't have to the insecurity of me walking away or He is going to have to maturely handle doing business with me and put his emotions to the side. I haven't been so direct about this part because I am allowing him to run himself crazy first and make a sound decision on what he wants to do. It's only been 3 months of us actually dating.

When I walk away I do not desire to have the constant phone calls, him popping up to my house, his attitude when doing business (which we have already had this episode), outburst hating in my game room when dating other guys. I just want the same support as a friend I would continue to give him if he found someone else. He is petty. He is jealous and vindictive. (I have seen how he taunts people more recently). I want to avoid this phase as easy as possible. I don't mind appeasing him with a relationship if he sits his "a" down somewhere and chill. However, I also don't mind dropping him like a bad habit - I want to avoid all the crap of the drop. I tried this with my deceased ex and he had no ends on how he was going to come for me.

Maybe this clears up why I am trying to figure out - how to proceed. If I was to just walk away, do you think I can talk him out of his behavior? I read Libras are pretty reasonable and just. I just don't see this "fair" "balanced" nature at all. I am being very fair.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

I think she knew he was gonna lie and cheat and she thought she could out-play the player. She was wrong.

click to expand

Never assumed I would outplay him. I actually like him he is cool. I do have feelings for him. He started to confuse me because I figured he would back down. He hasn't. He is escalating. That is where I am losing grip. Most dudes when I say this respects that and continue as fwb. They don't go to these extremes. He is sucking me into this cycle of drawing me closer... but for what? And heavens and hell move, if I refuse or decline him. Its something to see. I have never seen this before. My family is like - whoa this guy. What gets me is there are plenty of women who truly welcome him. Far more than I. They invite him over for events, dinners, buy him things, massage him. Give him everything he wants. I am not doing all of that. We have a great vibe without it.

However, if I try to remotely budge - everything is up in arms and war is on and I mean war. Where is the balanced, I see your perspective, fair nature? I was hoping to appeal to this and allow him to make a decision he can stand by.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

I think she knew he was gonna lie and cheat and she thought she could out-play the player. She was wrong.

How did she know tho. I'm curious about that part of the story.

Perception very rarely stacks up to reality.

click to expand

It's not a perception - He tells me these things. And we do know the same people. He doesn't hold back with his stories even though I know most of them through mutual friends. I mean he is very descriptive - but there is the other half where he says - "I am truly battling myself because I have to overcome this." I feel like he is sincere but he can't help himself. He has admitted this. He is dealing with a ton of insecurities including the hurt from his previous marriage. His image is not where he wants it to be. He is pursuing his master degree now and has pressure from his business and his job.

When he speaks of these women - all ego stroke. Which I have explained to him repeatedly is the reason why he is having a hard time having good women in his life. He has the "pressure" to settle down. As all his friends are married. I have expressed, I am in no rush to get married. Also, he needs to calm down and have a healthy reflection on where he screwed up in his previous marriage and really work on himself to have a new mindset going forward.

I can understand his need for someone in his corner while dealing with his pressure. However, the extent he wants is not healthy for me or any woman.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

I think she knew he was gonna lie and cheat and she thought she could out-play the player. She was wrong.

How did she know tho. I'm curious about that part of the story.

Perception very rarely stacks up to reality.

I assume they know the same people and she's aware of his comings and goings. She also gives several bits of info that show he is, indeed, a player. He's always meeting a new woman, and things last about three days. He says he wants a woman to be faithful to him, but he won't be. He told her she's his friend, but also told her he wants her in his life "forever." Sure, dude.

click to expand

But this behavior of his is happening AFTER she told him no relationship, lets be open/fuck buddies. He's just playing the role she gave him.

Posted by Juzzkea

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

I think she knew he was gonna lie and cheat and she thought she could out-play the player. She was wrong.

How did she know tho. I'm curious about that part of the story.

Perception very rarely stacks up to reality.

It's not a perception - He tells me these things. And we do know the same people. He doesn't hold back with his stories even though I know most of them through mutual friends. I mean he is very descriptive - but there is the other half where he says - "I am truly battling myself because I have to overcome this." I feel like he is sincere but he can't help himself. He has admitted this. He is dealing with a ton of insecurities including the hurt from his previous marriage. His image is not where he wants it to be. He is pursuing his master degree now and has pressure from his business and his job.

When he speaks of these women - all ego stroke. Which I have explained to him repeatedly is the reason why he is having a hard time having good women in his life. He has the "pressure" to settle down. As all his friends are married. I have expressed, I am in no rush to get married. Also, he needs to calm down and have a healthy reflection on where he screwed up in his previous marriage and really work on himself to have a new mindset going forward.

I can understand his need for someone in his corner while dealing with his pressure. However, the extent he wants is not healthy for me or any woman.

click to expand

Its not uncommon for men (and women!) to fuck around a bit after they leave a long term relationship.

Obviously you know him better than us.

And... if he is really not in a healthy mindset etc then why even entertain him at all?

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Juzzkea

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

I think she knew he was gonna lie and cheat and she thought she could out-play the player. She was wrong.

Never assumed I would outplay him. I actually like him he is cool. I do have feelings for him. He started to confuse me because I figured he would back down. He hasn't. He is escalating. That is where I am losing grip. Most dudes when I say this respects that and continue as fwb. They don't go to these extremes. He is sucking me into this cycle of drawing me closer... but for what? And heavens and hell move, if I refuse or decline him. Its something to see. I have never seen this before. My family is like - whoa this guy. What gets me is there are plenty of women who truly welcome him. Far more than I. They invite him over for events, dinners, buy him things, massage him. Give him everything he wants. I am not doing all of that. We have a great vibe without it.

However, if I try to remotely budge - everything is up in arms and war is on and I mean war. Where is the balanced, I see your perspective, fair nature? I was hoping to appeal to this and allow him to make a decision he can stand by.

I'm sorry if that sounded insulting. You sound like a straight dealer trying to negotiate with someone who is shady by nature. You can't "win" in that situation, because your goal it to come to agreement while his goal is to dominant you. His aggressiveness is scary, honestly. Do you know if he's been abusive to his exes?

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Never physically. I am starting to see more passive aggression. If another woman says to him - "I think its best we back off". He walks away no fuss no fight. Never hear from him again. He is actually proud of his ability to do it. I was counting on that for myself as well. He handles them so level headed. And you right - trying to reach a fair agreement is what I desire. I feel like he is playing a game to get what he wants instead of just being direct and facing it head-on. That level headed nature he puts on or give to others - not with me. Nope. Which again goes against everything he says. So I believe he is resorting to manipulation. Which at that point - I have no issue going to extremes. I just want to understand this behavior a bit better before I act.

Immature Libra?

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

are you sure you're not a psychologist?

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

I think she knew he was gonna lie and cheat and she thought she could out-play the player. She was wrong.

How did she know tho. I'm curious about that part of the story.

Perception very rarely stacks up to reality.

I assume they know the same people and she's aware of his comings and goings. She also gives several bits of info that show he is, indeed, a player. He's always meeting a new woman, and things last about three days. He says he wants a woman to be faithful to him, but he won't be. He told her she's his friend, but also told her he wants her in his life "forever." Sure, dude.

But this behavior of his is happening AFTER she told him no relationship, lets be open/fuck buddies. He's just playing the role she gave him.

She already knew him. She wasn't working from a fresh slate, so she couldn't just ignore everything she knew about him and his past. The smarter move would have been to steer clear of him but that ship has sailed.

click to expand

Yes, I did. I knew he deals with different women. No big deal. Want a relationship? No buddy. You must slow down. What got me is the fact that I have seen him walk away from women with ease. No fuss. No fight. He listens and says ok cool. Never an issue.

However, the game has changed with me. I don't like it. So he plays the middle of me saying - I don't want the relationship. I figured when I say, let's go back to being friends and see one another since I am NOT his typical type according to him - he would say ok.

As I speak to you all - that is a major difference is that the other women wanted the relationship - I didn't. He is a professional with a career a business good looking and well dressed. Nice life style . I tell him those are badges and not impressive because you are in a relationship with the person, not their accomplishments. We talk a lot about being there for people beyond their status. Aside from being a player - the superficial views of life have to calm down. He does have a really deep side to him. Which I speak a lot of when you are looking to marry someone it is beyond the "good we bring to the table". I also didn't want a relationship right away because I seriously buried my ex in Sept and had a pretty bad father's day behind it. I was there till his death and I could count on him with everything or nothing.

I have told him, I have a hard time loving again because I have buried a lover. Death is inevitable. So I try to genuinely enjoy the moments. I have a deep understanding of life and he always comes off very spiritual and understanding. I express to him, he needs to understand that it is deeper than his outer shell. I tap into the man he is underneath. Not for a relationship - I do this with anyone I encounter honestly. I am not asking what you give me at face value. That doesn't necessarily mean you will get far with me. Because on the flip side, you can't tap into me so easily. He has dealt with a lot of his insecurities by seeing my bravery in being transparent and carefree of what others think of me. I would love to see him progress in life. I am here for it. However, the next level is just not going to work. This man...

Has anyone seen this before? - I want to charge it off as an actor but he is DOING too much. If it was just his mouth. I wouldn't even be here. His best friend is even shocked by all of this. Trust me I went to his circle first. We all lost.

Unbalanced Libra? Did I knock his scale off? Is this a deeper level of manipulation? Is he trying to play a game? I heard Libras can go pretty far in their crap to get their way.

Posted by tiziani

Damn, it's an interesting story. I dunno what more I could say than that. You guys have a lot going for you and just see where you can both take it next really.

I don't see immaturity there. When I first met the woman I love, she had spent 2-3 years being beaten into submission by people around her saying she has to be "mature" and "proper" because she was pushing her thirties.

Fact of the matter is she was happier than ever when she was getting the attention of multiple dudes, the dudes didn't even matter. She just has a wild side and a very stable side that both feed each other in one great person.

So I just told her, do your thing really. You don't have to pretend. For the first year she tried to be really offended by that but adjusted. Then she tried to impose standards on me about who I should be with, but gave that up too. Now we're a lot better as a team.

Immaturity is when people cannot commit or can't live up to their commitments. But if you can commit and dedicate your time to more than just one person I admire that. And if you can't or decide it's not for you then there's no shame in that either. You don't want one person who secretly is hoping for a monogamous romance, and the other not, or vice versa. That just feeds into backbitey energy and trying to one-up each other. It's too much of a headache.

And yeah I never understood men or women who have that double standard of wanting to be with many people, yet only wanting their partner to be with them alone. But that does work for many couples, some double standards work some do not. It's on you both to decide and be damned what "mature" people think it looks like on the other side. Most monogamous people can't even manage commitment to even just one person without sabotaging it, you can't stop and listen to their expertise on commitment or maturity for long before you have to get back to your own life. Best of luck to both of you. Already being friends and running a business together is a lot of trust in the bank.

There is a ton of trust and a ton of we don't align with our personal views. I get his views. He is a single man exploring. Making sure he finds the right one. But don't limit me either and give me hell when I am exploring. We know our love languages. He needs a more traditional woman. Aquarius women are far from traditional. So I can have a great time with you. Its all in experience. It's not a game. We can very well meet other people and can still be friends. Bringing comfort to one another and support was what I signed up for. That was it. It is going wild.

I can be with ONE person once I commit. I am only sleeping with him btw. I don't need multiple sex partners. However, i am a single woman. I can explore too.

My aqua nature is what he doesn't get.

Posted by tiziani

Also if you have a gut feeling that he's going to show a different side of himself to you then yeah it's probably going to happen lol

There aren't many people who can hit our triggers but it's just part of getting to know one another. I think after the first year you generally know if you can put up with each other's flaws or not. For now he's probably still playing it cool.

He has said this as well. He said, I said I want a relationship but a woman has to have substance and wisdom. We talk about flaws and all. That is exactly what I am looking at. Because I also heard his "player" is his cover from getting hurt. I don't know what to believe anymore. I just don't want the melodrama of living my life too.

It takes about a year to really learn someone. We are seeing enough of each other to really see the BS up close. I have my aloof craziness too. He supports me too. I feel like riding the wave to be sure and date others in the meantime. I do find other personalities who accommodate me well. Like "calmness and peace". I like the guy who has an ego that doesn't need to be stroked. And God forbid I point out stuff he is missing - he goes to great lengths to show me that side. I said he doesn't have a humble giving nature.

"Oh, I give to the poor and homeless weekly. Let me show you." LOL this guy.

Don't get me wrong I do ENJOY him. Otherwise, I wouldn't be around. I just want my freedom too. I want to get him to understand that without the drama. Live and Let Live. Doesn't Libras Live by this too?

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Juzzkea

Posted by tiziani

Damn, it's an interesting story. I dunno what more I could say than that. You guys have a lot going for you and just see where you can both take it next really.

I don't see immaturity there. When I first met the woman I love, she had spent 2-3 years being beaten into submission by people around her saying she has to be "mature" and "proper" because she was pushing her thirties.

Fact of the matter is she was happier than ever when she was getting the attention of multiple dudes, the dudes didn't even matter. She just has a wild side and a very stable side that both feed each other in one great person.

So I just told her, do your thing really. You don't have to pretend. For the first year she tried to be really offended by that but adjusted. Then she tried to impose standards on me about who I should be with, but gave that up too. Now we're a lot better as a team.

Immaturity is when people cannot commit or can't live up to their commitments. But if you can commit and dedicate your time to more than just one person I admire that. And if you can't or decide it's not for you then there's no shame in that either. You don't want one person who secretly is hoping for a monogamous romance, and the other not, or vice versa. That just feeds into backbitey energy and trying to one-up each other. It's too much of a headache.

And yeah I never understood men or women who have that double standard of wanting to be with many people, yet only wanting their partner to be with them alone. But that does work for many couples, some double standards work some do not. It's on you both to decide and be damned what "mature" people think it looks like on the other side. Most monogamous people can't even manage commitment to even just one person without sabotaging it, you can't stop and listen to their expertise on commitment or maturity for long before you have to get back to your own life. Best of luck to both of you. Already being friends and running a business together is a lot of trust in the bank.

There is a ton of trust and a ton of we don't align with our personal views. I get his views. He is a single man exploring. Making sure he finds the right one. But don't limit me either and give me hell when I am exploring. We know our love languages. He needs a more traditional woman. Aquarius women are far from traditional. So I can have a great time with you. Its all in experience. It's not a game. We can very well meet other people and can still be friends. Bringing comfort to one another and support was what I signed up for. That was it. It is going wild.

I can be with ONE person once I commit. I am only sleeping with him btw. I don't need multiple sex partners. However, i am a single woman. I can explore too.

My aqua nature is what he doesn't get.

I think you're making it complicated when it's really pretty simple. He's not getting his way, which is to have you up his butt, so he's throwing a tantrum. *shrugs* To me, it's an immature man thing, not a sign thing.

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You right. He looks like a man and can act like one when he is ready - but underneath he is just a crying little boy who needs a ton of attention. LOL

Shrugs - I am activating his tantrums to get my freedom and peace back. I'll weather the storm.

Thanks

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by LadyNeptune

"So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined."

He was upfront at the beginning in wanting to lock you down into a relationship. You steered him in the direction of open relationship/lets see other people. The confusing one here is you. Cause you say his player ways are a turn off and then literally are encouraging him to be a player and discouraging him from viewing you as relationship potential.

Maybe its easier for you to protect your heart by labeling him as a player and keeping him at arms length so he can't get close enough to hurt you. Only its back firing cause you are catching feels.

are you sure you're not a psychologist?

click to expand

lol only on the third tuesday of the month

Posted by JuzzkeaHe is a single man exploring. Making sure he finds the right one. But don't limit me either and give me hell when I am exploring. We know our love languages. He needs a more traditional woman.

But isn't that double standard? He wants to explore but needs a traditional woman?

Posted by Juzzkea

I am an Aquarius woman Aqua Sun, Moon, and Mercury (Venus in Sag). This guy is a Libra Sun (not sure of his moon) but a Scorpio in Venus. Now, this is my thing.... we started dating about 3 months ago. We dived in with the sex. I mean we are attracted to each other ridiculously. I have the hardest time reading this man although I can read most of him. My aqua gets int he way. Here is the tea -

So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined. We have since formed this weird open relationship/friendship at which we are technically allowed to see other people. He made a very self-centered statement on Memorial day that although he knows its a double standard, no woman he is dealing with can date other guys even if he does.

I laughed because he said he wants a woman who caters to him. He swears he wanted to get married again. However, every woman that has ALL the qualities he is looking for, he bypasses them to deal with me. And I did go on a date with another guy (he did something petty to get me back - by laying up with another woman he is most likely going to say he is no longer interested in by the end of the week.) He keeps bringing up the guy repeatedly. However, he still makes his way into my face - that goes against his statement.

Unlike a normal aqua move, I made him fully aware that I keep things open between us because of his player (not his flirtatious nature) ways. So until he calms down, I do not want a relationship.

He does spend all his time calling me and actually coming over, taking me out, introduced me to his daughter and his best friend (girl). He does tell me all his deep dark secrets and thoughts. Insecurities, etc. He has expressed he cannot talk to no one the way he talks to me but I am rough around the edges and he doesn't like that I am hard with him. We developed a pretty solid friendship of free expression.

My confusion is what does this guy want exactly? Because he says he wants me in his life forever and he acts on it. That is clear but apparently his need for multiple women in his space (or rather on the other end of his phone). He meets new women daily (even though they only last about 3 days).

In my mind, he is still hunting for who he wants and has me to help him pass time - although he showers me with attention and even cancels dates to be with me. His actions say, I love you and really want you in my life but his other side says, but I need someone else. He has come when I was sick and nursed me back to health. He does come by when I am feeling emotional about tragic things in my life. He has been very giving and supportive. When I have something to say, he listens.

We don't argue, we discuss things. He makes "future plans". If he says he coming to me, he's coming. He has even shown up to my house while I was sleep and let himself in twice. He shows up unannounced. He randomly takes me on dates. He says he is treating me really good. But keep in mind - He is a Casanova and has swayed so many women before me. Part of me feels like its a game because I am what he calls a "tough cookie".

Recently, I started stroking his ego. Becoming more catering to his needs. I also expressed that I felt he was indeed playing games. He said "there is no need for you to feel that way, you are my friend. I would never want you to feel like that." He even went far as laughing when I got jealous and said there is no need for that - I have nothing to worry about.

Am I reading this wrong? I don't care to change it. I rather he is with whom and where he wants to be. I just want to act accordingly. I can be more emotionally available for someone else and still support him as a friend - which I have expressed this. He claims don't want that but the constant adding of a new chick is telling me something different. Or is he just trying to make me see other women desperately want him and I am tripping by not giving him a chance (because he always gloats on how different women want him and desire to marry him)?

If this post is confusing you - it's because I am just that confused. LOL

All of the instincts you express are correct. Your way of handling him is correct. Enjoy until you no longer enjoy because you both have some very fundamental differences.

I don't think you'll ever be completely at ease with him unless in true aquarian form, you like the difference and what seems to be his proposition of an alternative relationship. He may see alot of freedom for himself whereas you may loose yourself having your nature being taken advantage of.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Juzzkea

I am an Aquarius woman Aqua Sun, Moon, and Mercury (Venus in Sag). This guy is a Libra Sun (not sure of his moon) but a Scorpio in Venus. Now, this is my thing.... we started dating about 3 months ago. We dived in with the sex. I mean we are attracted to each other ridiculously. I have the hardest time reading this man although I can read most of him. My aqua gets int he way. Here is the tea -

So he wanted a relationship (so he says) in the beginning - practically gunning for it. I knew for sure he was a player and I declined. We have since formed this weird open relationship/friendship at which we are technically allowed to see other people. He made a very self-centered statement on Memorial day that although he knows its a double standard, no woman he is dealing with can date other guys even if he does.

I laughed because he said he wants a woman who caters to him. He swears he wanted to get married again. However, every woman that has ALL the qualities he is looking for, he bypasses them to deal with me. And I did go on a date with another guy (he did something petty to get me back - by laying up with another woman he is most likely going to say he is no longer interested in by the end of the week.) He keeps bringing up the guy repeatedly. However, he still makes his way into my face - that goes against his statement.

Unlike a normal aqua move, I made him fully aware that I keep things open between us because of his player (not his flirtatious nature) ways. So until he calms down, I do not want a relationship.

He does spend all his time calling me and actually coming over, taking me out, introduced me to his daughter and his best friend (girl). He does tell me all his deep dark secrets and thoughts. Insecurities, etc. He has expressed he cannot talk to no one the way he talks to me but I am rough around the edges and he doesn't like that I am hard with him. We developed a pretty solid friendship of free expression.

My confusion is what does this guy want exactly? Because he says he wants me in his life forever and he acts on it. That is clear but apparently his need for multiple women in his space (or rather on the other end of his phone). He meets new women daily (even though they only last about 3 days).

In my mind, he is still hunting for who he wants and has me to help him pass time - although he showers me with attention and even cancels dates to be with me. His actions say, I love you and really want you in my life but his other side says, but I need someone else. He has come when I was sick and nursed me back to health. He does come by when I am feeling emotional about tragic things in my life. He has been very giving and supportive. When I have something to say, he listens.

We don't argue, we discuss things. He makes "future plans". If he says he coming to me, he's coming. He has even shown up to my house while I was sleep and let himself in twice. He shows up unannounced. He randomly takes me on dates. He says he is treating me really good. But keep in mind - He is a Casanova and has swayed so many women before me. Part of me feels like its a game because I am what he calls a "tough cookie".

Recently, I started stroking his ego. Becoming more catering to his needs. I also expressed that I felt he was indeed playing games. He said "there is no need for you to feel that way, you are my friend. I would never want you to feel like that." He even went far as laughing when I got jealous and said there is no need for that - I have nothing to worry about.

Am I reading this wrong? I don't care to change it. I rather he is with whom and where he wants to be. I just want to act accordingly. I can be more emotionally available for someone else and still support him as a friend - which I have expressed this. He claims don't want that but the constant adding of a new chick is telling me something different. Or is he just trying to make me see other women desperately want him and I am tripping by not giving him a chance (because he always gloats on how different women want him and desire to marry him)?

If this post is confusing you - it's because I am just that confused. LOL

All of the instincts you express are correct. Your way of handling him is correct. Enjoy until you no longer enjoy because you both have some very fundamental differences.

I don't think you'll ever be completely at ease with him unless in true aquarian form, you like the difference and what seems to be his proposition of an alternative relationship. He may see alot of freedom for himself whereas you may loose yourself having your nature being taken advantage of.

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You are absolutely right. As an Aquarius we are seriously misread. I love freedom and not too quick to commit because once decided, I am all in. The hard part is analyzing you until I decide. He has found the free to be Him aspect intriguing. I am not fussy or pushy or giving him any expectations. What he didn’t understand is that the more I see who you are - the more I decide what I want to do. It come off as cold as well but truly there is no way to warm up a split. Because of my ability to detach, I really don’t hold back on enjoying myself - at which I tell him all the time. I am not pleasing you, I am having an experience for myself. That’s doesn’t necessarily mean, I will take you seriously. And we cross those serious lines on a personal note and where we clash. As far as other aspects of life and our playfulness - hella fun!

I am not looking to buckle down so quickly unless I meet a surefire person. I do believe people change in time, but I am not going to sit around and wait for it. Fate will let it fall in place. He is so rigid in this area it’s insane. You cannot force a relationship on people. Nor should you jump into them instantly.

I spoke to him - he bugged me all day. He was concerned that I haven’t figured him out that he speaks logically (loosely) but that is not who he really is. He is a jokester so you never know when he is joking or seriously joking. I told him I can’t seem to express myself to him without him taking personal offense which isn’t fair. Of course he got offended. Then he came back and said - ok I will just leave you alone. I’ll let y’all know how that pans out. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTown

Check his credit history.

😂😂😂😂 His credit is bad. I already went down that road with him. 😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧

I can fix it but I’m not. I do enough in his business.

I'm a woman with Libra sun, Scorpio venus and it is said that we are forever trying to find our one true love. This is true of me as I've been married 3 times and still not sure. If you want to keep your sanity just walk away from this Libra and leave him be. Of course he doesn't want you having sex with other men. Even playa's don't want STDs or sloppy seconds. That isn't a sign that they love you they just don't want to share sex.

Posted by DonnaLibra

I'm a woman with Libra sun, Scorpio venus and it is said that we are forever trying to find our one true love. This is true of me as I've been married 3 times and still not sure. If you want to keep your sanity just walk away from this Libra and leave him be. Of course he doesn't want you having sex with other men. Even playa's don't want STDs or sloppy seconds. That isn't a sign that they love you they just don't want to share sex.

Agreed. It may very well be a “double standard”, but the thought of sharing a woman with another man/men is utterly repulsive to me, and I think most men (regardless of their sign or player status) would agree with that.

Aside from our many similarities, Aquas are intriguing to Libras because they’re detached and elusive, and Libras (being the cardinal air sign) LOVE the chase. It’s that simple. However, that innate Libran nature will show itself in any type of relationship, regardless of whether it’s monogamous or open.

Case in point, this woman’s experience.