He hurt me I asked for a break and now he’s playing victim

I’m an Aquarius female and my boyfriend/baby daddy is a Pisces male. We’ve been living together for 3 1/2 years now. We’ve been in a bad spot in our relationship for some time. I’ve tried over and over and over to let him know that I feel like some of my
Bambi34March 18, 2018 7:12pm
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  • I’m an Aquarius female and my boyfriend/baby daddy is a Pisces male. We’ve been living together for 3 1/2 years now. We’ve been in a bad spot in our relationship for some time. I’ve tried over and over and over to let him know that I feel like some of my needs aren’t being met. One being that we never spend quality time together. We’re just always at home with kids. But if his friends call he’s dressed up and out the door. Barley did anything for my birthday or Valentine’s Day, like it’s a chore for him. Never dresses up for me or wants to take me out. Just every week at home same routine. I’ll ask him if he even wants to date me or wants to be in a relationship and he’ll say yes and that he’s happy. It’s confusing because I feel like he thinks living together is enough quality time together. Honestly I feel like a nanny who sleeps with the kids father and that’s it. If I bring up him hanging out with his friends he says I’m a negative person who is jealous of him. That I bring him down and I’m never happy. Harsh. He’s not a ray of sunshine ever but he expects you to be.

    I’ve just been feeling like this relationship isn’t that important to him or at least he doesn’t show it. And if I ask him to try something different he fights it to the core. So stubborn. So one day we got in a huge fight and I told him we should take a break and re evaluate this whole situation. You tell me what you need and I’ll tell you what I need and see if we can compromise. Well he went off the deep end. Started partying non stop, going places with people, coming home till late in the morning, make up on his shirt from the club. Being a huge D I C K . I mean constant attitude like he wants nothing to do with me. If I do talk he looks at my with a high annoyance. I asked for a break 4 weeks ago and we haven’t slept together or had any real conversation. I’ve tried 3 different times to talk and each time he’s shut me down telling me “this is what you asked for”. Finally he told me he’ll let me know when he’s ready to talk. He won’t end the relationship even when I ask if that’s what he wants. I swear he’s acting like I did something horrible to him and if I did why not speak up!!! It went from me being the hurt one to him flipping the story and playing the victim card. Like sometimes I feel he wants me to start chasing and begging him, which I will not do.

    So am I being punished? Is it over? Did I hurt him??? I mean WTF!
  • You're on a break and still live together?
  • Why are you continuing to accept this sort of behavior? You need to focus on you and your child because emotionally he seems to have checked out of this situation. You can not make him cjange he has to want to change.
  • fire_underwater
    a fish, a lion, a bull
    33 years old female from US
    how old are you guys?
  • shakedown
    "SHAKEDUMB" (I give Xkraft a Boner) 🍆
    Say what now?
  • STILL
    female
    This is a hard one because of the kids What do you hope to accomplish with him? Are you able to handle all bills without him?
  • How old both of you?
    What’s his financial status in case of the end - will he pay!
    How long you’ve been together?

    It’s seems like a dead end! But I am feeling you’ll never end it! It’s just that family where he is an Alpha and you...whatever...
    He says see ya later and comes home in the morning?
    And you still there?
    I bet it’s all right to money! You can’t survive alone can you? That’s all it is!
    Bite the bullet and keep on living...
    You can’t/won’t do nothing about it.
    And I am not saying it as I am judging.
    I understand what dead end is! I haven’t been at your age but I’ve seen tons of it!

    It’s just unfortunate’ pray and God will help you...
  • Posted by EveryOunce
    You're on a break and still live together?


    Yes lease isn’t up till end of fall
  • Posted by Fantum
    How did you expect him to respond to the request for a break? Were you really expecting him to be mature about it? I really don't know why based on his behavior before that. Also, why would you bring that up during a fight?

    By doing that, it allowed him to put you in the bad guy seat and not address his own behavior.


    I didn’t think he’d react like this : ( boy was I wrong
  • Posted by Gemitati
    How old both of you?
    What’s his financial status in case of the end - will he pay!
    How long you’ve been together?

    It’s seems like a dead end! But I am feeling you’ll never end it! It’s just that family where he is an Alpha and you...whatever...
    He says see ya later and comes home in the morning?
    And you still there?
    I bet it’s all right to money! You can’t survive alone can you? That’s all it is!
    Bite the bullet and keep on living...
    You can’t/won’t do nothing about it.
    And I am not saying it as I am judging.
    I understand what dead end is! I haven’t been at your age but I’ve seen tons of it!

    It’s just unfortunate’ pray and God will help you...


    We’re 27. As of right now he pays 90% of bills while I work part time and stay at home with kids. Kinda can’t just get up and leave at the moment. It feels like a dead end and it hurts like hell. Thank you for your message.
  • Posted by EveryOunce
    Why are you continuing to accept this sort of behavior? You need to focus on you and your child because emotionally he seems to have checked out of this situation. You can not make him cjange he has to want to change.


    I have been focusing on me and a routine with kid. It’s helped it’s just awkward living with someone whose this mad at you. It just hurts but I agree with what you’re saying.
  • Posted by fire_underwater
    how old are you guys?


    27
  • Posted by vixen14
    You’re being played and you’re allowing it. It’s as simple as that.



    : (
  • Posted by STILL
    This is a hard one because of the kids What do you hope to accomplish with him? Are you able to handle all bills without him?


    Not at the moment but it’s not something I can’t make happen. Right now he pays 90 percent of bills so I can’t just get up and leave. I work part time and stay at home with kids. I wanted to work things out but it’s not going that way or looking like it will.
  • Posted by Bambi34
    I’m an Aquarius female and my boyfriend/baby daddy is a Pisces male. We’ve been living together for 3 1/2 years now. We’ve been in a bad spot in our relationship for some time. I’ve tried over and over and over to let him know that I feel like some of my needs aren’t being met.

    So am I being punished? Is it over? Did I hurt him??? I mean WTF!



    Bambi,

    I am going to tell you a few words and I hope you pay very close attention and value these words I am going to share with you

    listen carefully If you really want to turn your situation around.

    Even though you want to to talk about things with him so he can compromise and he just wont talk to you. you know why? it is because men react to silence rather than with words.

    Stop this instant pressuring him to talk and start doing what makes you happy. start making yourself happy with what is around you, wake up refreshed every morning, happy, smiling, even if the situation is hurting you right now. love and treat your kids with love and set aside your frustration.

    GO OUT do healthy things for yourself, have some "ME time" for yourself, take your kids out to eat with you, take them out and have fun with them, get ready and real pretty for yourself and go out and have a relaxing lunch, breakfast or dinner by yourself or with your girlfriends. Invite your girlfriends to hang out with you but behave like a respectful lady do not go out with men. He won't know that you do or do not and that will bring his HUGE jack ass ego down a bit and will not want to lose you if he loves you.

    This ^^ will cause him to turn his head around and pay attention to you, as he will start feeling he does not have you where he has had you all along. depressed, crying for him, DESPERATE for him and him as being a jack ass as many men is enjoying it. But do not get offended its quite normal after all the boredom and him feeling annoyed you are making him responsible for your own happiness.

    He actually wants you to step it up and do these things for yourself so he can notice you once again.
    I have seen this happen in my life and many other couples around me. When the woman decides to step up and feel complete with herself, the man makes it right. And as I said before if he loves you and I am sure he does, I assure you he will make it right. Men are fixers and he will want on his own fix the situation.

    Seeing you happy will start crushing his ego and will not want any men making you happy because that is his job as your partner.

    But please do take some responsibility in this situation, never put so much pressure on someone for your own happiness, when you are happy on your own, you attract people and your man to come enjoy the happiness you have created for your own self.

    I am also a woman and I am older than you, I know how you feel and I have been through the same situation so I have learned along the way.

    Good luck and there is light at the end of the tunnel, don't feel it is all lost. Just be complete and happy on your own, you will see the results. :-)

    And remember that smile you will have on your face every morning it will be because ---all this you are doing it not to win him back but to win yourself back because you have lost yourself along the way and it is you what is important and you need to love yourself and regain control of your self like when he first met and fell in love with you.


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