to call ....or not to call (Page 2)

temple,
maybe I missed it somewhere, but please share with me what your sign is...

Pisces with Leo rising.

ok

Geesh. Okay, okay. Enough already! Gotta get this over with. I'll call your Libra.

LOL@Atom!

LOL

LMAO Yes Atom, yes...that would be great!! YOU call him and if you find out anything interesting...you can post it here.

Temple,
Sept 30 is early Libra, but is one of the more powerful of birthdays. Dashing, charming, dominant is something that describes this birthday. I see what you mean, but I doubt he's going to back down on the game playing though.
"Not if you pack up your racket, leave the court, and refuse to play with someone who doesn't play fair."

But the game's already started and your opponent may just call you back for another shot (and can you resist when it happens?). lol.. enough though. I have problems with my libra too, and I had to just let it play out all the while anticipating what would happen next. I figured if things were cozy, calm and peaceful, we'd drift way apart without the friction of attraction.

You see if you *really* wanted to end things you would call, because things don't matter anymore, but the closure. If you wait for his call you could wait ages, because he could put it in the backburner with the thought that someone (you) is still there while he goes about his life. And, he wouldn't mind that thought - a memory is as good as the real thing, and it can be fanned anytime to relive it.

Wysdom, I doubt your libra didn't contact you fro 3 weeks at a time, without you requiring an explanation being a scorp. I am sure of that.

OK, BIG announcement. It was 50/50 on this issue of "to call or not to call" and I finally got over my anger and hurt and decided to call. I called 3X in fact only to have the phone go immediately to voice mail. I had tooo much to say to leave it in a voice mail so I didn't leave a message. So, I wrote him an email explaining that I would have preferred to speak to him in person but since he seems to have vanished without a trace for 4 weeks I have chosen not to be in the relationship with him since I seem to be the only one in it!! It wasn't a mean spirited letter at all. Just an honest choice to not want to be a part of the receiving end of a lot of hurt and neglect. I did question the integrity of why he came looking for me and asking for the relationship in the first place and how I feel he used the friendship to bear weight upon his intentions to convince me it would all be worth the risk of going from friends to something more. What happened I asked him?

That letter I sent 3 days ago. Then, I got a call from my brother telling my father was really sick in the hospital and that triggered recent feelings of the loss for my friend who died and then how QS's friend had a trauma with his child and......well, you get the picture. I started feeling guilty. I remembered somebody said that "maybe he's just giving you space to grieve". OK, maybe so but for 4 weeks?? It occurred to me that maybe he was experiencing something traumatic too and that's why he didn't call. Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch (the sound of brakes in my head). No, stop it! There is still no excuse for not picking up the freakin phone or sending an email!!! I'm not going to fall back into that saga again. Enough already. The mere fact that he has not even answered my email puts another spin on speculations about that for me. Why doesn't he respond to it? Should he? Will he? arrrrrrrrghhhhh I hate this!!!! No, it was a huge mistake to write for the so called "closure". But there is one tiny thing that makes me feel a little bit better. He has officially been dumped. That can't feel good for him but how would I know? DOH! another annoying question I'll probably never have the answer to.

loving a libra: forever holding on to that tiny speck of hope that they will be back and that this time they will be ready to love you how you deserve and how they are meant to love: with their whole heart. And without the wishy-washy, half-ass, say one thing-do another, utterly charming and intriguing way.

I give up........I will never NOT have hope.

xoxo that was very beautiful....hope is a magical thing - sometimes miracles do happen 🙂

Poor you . templeofjaguar! You sounded like there was a burning fire in your soul ! I think this man probably has no respect for you , when a Libra didnt call often , he normally gives an explaination beforehand , my ex even called back to explain why he hanged up the 1st time I called (touched the wrong button - new phone!)and whenever he went away , he sent me an email to explain the reason why he cant contact me during that time ...I think you'd better leave this man alone for good and concentrate on your business, pamper your beautiful self for awhile , time heals everything . Dont get suck back into a relationship that you dont find any respect and begin to feel hatred for someone you used to like and respect when they re your friends ...Just accept that you two are incompatible in some levels and it is unacceptable for you.

I agree with exam on some levels.
However, I believe this birthdate individual is very selfish, and I believe it is in his nature. He thinks with respect to himself - he didn't think of how you'd be feeling. However, I think it was not intentional on his part, but part of his nature.
You're involved with him, you should already know that. It was part of his charm in the first place.

You called him and he didn't pick up your call - that's a sign; he's not ready to talk to you, else he would have been the one who called. Sending him the email would enough. Give him time to digest all you said and get back to you. I have a feeling this would take ages to be fully resolved.

Yes, an explanation is required and expected after this long. But since he has been formally dumped (via the email) his pride may keep him from responding to my email. Now, for every day that passes, it becomes harder and harder for me to accept any reasonable explanation. (ie: coma, kidnapped, memory loss, top secret mission/special forces, etc...these would be reasonable explanations.) Maybe that's why Libras MUST have all that charm given to them in the first place. It's their most successful weapon in times like this when they know they need to perform a miracle or something. charm would be needed at full tilt.

Without letting my imagination "run away with me" too much. I thought about a movie I just saw recently about a guy who was going to break up with his girlfriend. As he prepared to tell her that evening, she was having the same idea to break up with him. Instead of him breaking up with her, she called him and told him not to come over that night because she thought it would be too hard to tell him that she didn't want to see him anymore and she broke up with him over the phone. So what do you think happened next? Well, because even though he was going to dump her she had beat him to the job and now...him being the one being dumped he suddenly wanted her back. But she had already moved on emotionally and that just drove him nuts. The rest of the movie was just him doing all these crazy things people do when they can't let go. But the twist was...he didn't even want to be in the relationship. I don't know if that really happens to guys or if that kind of weirdness could happen in a situation like this. (seriously doubt it)

But I would have to agree more along the lines of spica's comment: ...this Libra is very selfish and it is obvious he is thinking of no one but himself right now. And after I challenged his integrity in the letter I wrote, among other deceitful behaviorism, it is doubtful he'll want to make contact or respond to any of the questions I asked him. I sincerely doubt that he even feels bad. Someone who genuinely feels bad would apologize for hurting another, especially someone that they love. wouldn't they?

there's always a VERY GOOD excuse...so believable and oh so convincing LOL. I'd probably have to agree not to let the imagination run away but even so, a month is a LONG, LONG, LONG time!!! The longest mine ever stayed away was 5 odd days...THAT was long enough!!

I still think the best option is to keep away and move on with life 🙂 LIke most Librans he will no doubt be back some time down the track as if nothing happened and expect everything to be wonderful....ahhh yes, I remember it all so well.

Such charmers hehehe

"Sept 30 is early Libra, but is one of the more powerful of birthdays. Dashing, charming, dominant is something that describes this birthday."

So, Spica, if I may what does Oct 5th imply as far as specific birthdays go?

how about oct 10? 🙂

***QS, he has disappeared for even a month before.***

Wow!!! This has never happened with me and any libra, even in a casual relationship for more than a couple days. I swear if it had been a few weeks for more. I would have assumed they were no longer interested, but that is just me the crazy scorp... Sigh....

Nah QS not even I would have put up with THAT lol. 4 weeks?? pfftt, no way!!!

'My' libra has disappeared on me for 6 months on end.. but that was at the far beginning, and I had something to do with it, perhaps mostly thinking he blocked me out when I was blocking him out too.

Nicodemus, I haven't personally come across a male Oct 5, but a celebrity twin would be Nicky Hilton. I would think that the mercurial energy makes this birthday very sensitive and easy going. A negative trait would be anxiety and tension.

Oct 10s are quite contradicting because of the desire to harmonise mixing with the desire to lead.

I'm not particularly an expert on birthdays - just that September 30 did strike me somehow. (Not that there's anything good or bad of course). So don't take my word for it if it's wrong.

My libra guy was something like what temple wrote about - he was a numerological 3 as well (though not 30). It was pretty much hell as temple has written; that was a couple of years ago.. We all gotta learn. But I understood why it all happened and he did what he did - though not fully, but enough. Afterall, he's now making up for it, and it's going to take a couple years more at least.

Because after you've gone through so much butter with him, you have an option to let go and move on - the ball is on your court because he's the one who hurt you and not the other way around.. there'd be a point where he would mean nothing more in your eyes and that's when he might come 'crawling' back. Afterall we hurt the people we love most..

..and he can only come to the realisation by himself. There might be a day where you want him out of your life but he's stuck with you because you (or him) just can't use logic to switch off your feelings.

"Someone who genuinely feels bad would apologize for hurting another, especially someone that they love. wouldn't they?"

Give it time; sometimes self absorption blinds them to others' feelings.

That's very wise....the self absorption and the crawling back are normally correct LOL.

Too long, TJ! NOT healthy for you. Move on. Move on.

I agree with Atom.

NEWS: The missing Libra found himself (hehehe) and he called but I was on a date and missed the call. (oops, but oh well!!). The message he left was as follows: "Sorry, I've been really hysterical over my mother (didn't mention what for or why) I need to talk to you and I've been trying to find the time (where? in a black hole?) I'll get back with you I promise! I love you".

I know his mother is not well and she has been having a lot of health issues. His father passed away the year before and he's been taking care of his mother alone. She doesn't have enough health insurance coverage to receive proper care so I know he does all he can fr her fulltime.

The thing is........he should've called. He shouldn't have to make an appointment on his calendar to do it!! arrrrrrggghhhh!!!

Unless he had his phone shut off (which he didn't) there just isn't much of an excuse or a worthy alibi to mend this wound.

I loved him much more when we were "just friends". The thing is, I would need to be involved with someone new before I could feel UN-vulnerable to being around him again and the attraction we have for each other is too strong. That way I know I won't be tempted to fall for his charm and get intimately involved again with him or fall for any BS. Being IN a NEW relationship is my best bet. I don't cheat on my man when I am.

Soooooo, I'm already out there looking for the new guy. Hey Chatz, let's not fall for the same guy this time! (LOL) or anyone "like" the last ones we've had!!!

Atom, is that fast enough for you for "movin on"??

TJ, as bad as you might want to call him- DON'T... Get the emotional stuff out first... What sign is the new prospect. Do tell...

* I know his mother is not well and she has been having a lot of health issues. His father passed away the year before and he's been taking care of his mother alone. She doesn't have enough health insurance coverage to receive proper care so I know he does all he can fr her fulltime.

* The thing is........he should've called. He shouldn't have to make an appointment on his calendar to do it!! arrrrrrggghhhh!!!

Wow! You are a selfish human being.

* I loved him much more when we were "just friends".

You don't love this man. You do not want him to be happy or care about his best interest or the best interest of those around him.

You care about you. End of story.

It won't work out with this man. This is probably for the best.

Yes, your timing is good.

LS, I don't think she is being completely selfish, a month and they are supposed to be in a relationsh, he initiated? He can't call once to let her know if he is dead or alive or how he is doing. Sorry, that would be a problem for me too, I would definitely sympathize with him, because of his moms illness, but in my experience if a Libra is into you, he wants to share everything with you, all parts of his life experiences... He just doesn't seem like he did.

I agree....a month is a long, long time and if he cared about the r/ship, if he loved her he would have turned to her at the least. We must also remember that she has gone through an emotional rollercoaster ride with what happened with her best friend....and Im sure that TJ would have only loved to have been able to help/offer comfort during this hard time that her Libra has been going through. Their r/ship should have become stronger through such a period in their lives

LS, I hardly find myself being selfish at all with him or anyone. I am a very generous and caring person.I have tolerated, compensated, accommodated MUCH with him always to his benefit. I have put up with his disappearances for far too long and I told him it wouldn't work for me if he continued before he wanted this 2nd chance. I would love nothing more then to offer to help him out in his time of need but how can I possibly be of any assistance or comfort to him when he makes himself completely unavailable? Let me remind you the last time I heard from him was the day after my friend died. That was 4 WEEKS ago.Yes, indeed I am being selfish to expect him to care enough about me to have made at least ONE phone call during that time.

I can certainly appreciate that he is overwhelmed right now with everything and as I stated I would love to help him any way I could but I had no knowledge he was experiencing any problems. How could I? He never bothered to call until I wrote him that his disappearances are too much again and it was something he said would not happen this time around. I just do not see how the simple common courtesy of calling the woman he "allegedly" loves to make sure she is also ok and recovering from a recent trauma is being selfish on my part.

I don't think a single phone call, in 4 weeks, is too much to ask. It isn't like I am asking him to build a phone and make it work. A TM, an email, a pigeon, any contact at all would have been welcome. It would have shown enough that he cared. The fact that he didn't....now THAT is selfish.

I dont think she's tossing him aside...deep down we know she's madly in love with him hehehe.....as long as it doesnt become the "thrill of the chase" and the situation turns around and its all lovey dovey and then realises he's not "the one" afterall.

If it is meant to be it will happen and nothing will stop that...love is not always blind and sometimes love works in mysterious ways....life has a strange way of working itself out but too many times we end up with the WRONG person. Sometimes we need to go through some adversity to really appreciate the other person? WE all know that adversity makes us stronger 😛

QS, the date BTW was OK. No sparks for me. But it was OK. He lives LD and I wouldn't want to do that again. Just going out to to meet new people and to keep my mind and options open. Thanks for asking and thanks for the support.

Chatz, you are correct in your assessment. You of all people understand all too well how hard it is.

I recently handed out this advise to someone and I intend to follow it myself.

": Sometimes we have to let go of something or someone in order to proceed or progress. If you know that some form of sacrifice or self-sacrifice has to be made, then do it. You won't be able to move forward until you've done so."

I'm just trying to move forward and not allow the mistakes of the past to get the better of me this time around.

Yeah I know all too well.....keep busy, busy, busy....one door closes, another 3 open 🙂

*I would love nothing more then to offer to help him out in his time of need but how can I possibly be of any assistance or comfort to him when he makes himself completely unavailable? Let me remind you the last time I heard from him was the day after my friend died. That was 4 WEEKS ago.Yes, indeed I am being selfish to expect him to care enough about me to have made at least ONE phone call during that time.

Right you are! My appologises. I got you confused with someone else. I thought it had only been a week.

This guy just isn't available. It probably isn't personal just too much on his plate right now.

*** also don't believe she truly loved him either, to toss him aside like that is pretty heartless.***

She didn't toss him aside. I STRONGLY believe that if a person doesn't feel like they are getting what they need and feel they deserve in a relationship they shouldn't waist time on it and find a more compatible partner. I do agree that it doesn't seem they are right for eachother at this time, too much going on and the bond isn't tight enough to withstand the course of events. 😢

***I'm just trying to move forward and not allow the mistakes of the past to get the better of me this time around.***

Excellent idae TJ, I live by this...