Siren, you still around?
What is your opinion? (The Trilogy) (Page 38)
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Posted by tizianiPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
This is the only thing I disagree with you on.
Love for God, love for my family and then all else. I also do believe in having a shot at true love, just that it's not guaranteed. Only thing that is guaranteed is the level of work and opportunity you need with another person to be able to find that state.click to expand
Haha, tiz I wish I could disagree or agree but frankly I am still on my journey, therefore hard for me to define it as such.
Attempted to do so in the past but then it got me nowhere. Although by Ultimate Love, one does no mean True Love, what I meant is a Love that is the Ideal Pedestal, the one and only. That I could not for the life of me subscribe to, that there will only be one, for each love we encounter will be true to a certain extent, because each love we nurture, we were a different individual, at various points within our lives. They were each true to us then, and the love in which I speak of was in regards to romantic love, not 'love' as a general concept.
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.click to expand
I was reading somewhere that falling in love with potential is a mistake. Now, does that mean if I love a man who is working in a shoe store, but he wants be a world renowned chef. And I believe he can do it and be it and I am supportive of that. Is that me falling for his potential?
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by SirenSting
Oh LS, how I love your words, they are wonderful.
Yea, LS. PLEASE don't take this as OMG IM FIGHTING YOU. The moment you feel that, tell me and I will stop immediately.
Quite the contrary, I'm stuck on your words, thus my responses.click to expand
What gibberish are you spewing out here dear VH, I am lost in translation 😄
SirenSting - Thank you dear for your kind words. (hug)
Posted by CuriousLuv1Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.
I was reading somewhere that falling in love with potential is a mistake.click to expand
THIS IS EXACTLY what I mean by one of the mistakes we make when it comes to the heart. History repeats itself CONSTANTLY with this.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by VirgoHeroPosted by SirenSting
Oh LS, how I love your words, they are wonderful.
Yea, LS. PLEASE don't take this as OMG IM FIGHTING YOU. The moment you feel that, tell me and I will stop immediately.
Quite the contrary, I'm stuck on your words, thus my responses.
What gibberish are you spewing out here dear VH, I am lost in translation 😄
SirenSting - Thank you dear for your kind words. (hug)click to expand
WHATEVER! 😛 I try to be considerate and I get clawed by you!
Posted by tiziani
Ah, I see what you're saying and I agree with that. It almost seemed like you were saying the reverse at times.
And honestly you're probably right that it appeared that way and I appreciate you pointing it out. Text is so fucking primitive.
(I never can understand how people can have serious conversations via texting, emailing, etc. So much of the human nuance is lost)
Ok, VH -
Remember the last heated debate we had with Mr.D, tiz and I in regards to the self, relationship, marriage and so forth. Apply my logical expression there and meld it with the highly romanticized side of what I have shared today. That middle ground is my firm believe, I tend to sway between the two extremes on any given day and when I am in a relationship, there is a constant comparing, referral, dissecting, and analyzing between the two sides, through such conflicts emerges some form of conclusion. There is a highly idealistic side to me and an utterly cruel realistically side as well.
My expressions fall not within an expectation of what love should be nor what I would like the person to be, but the journey, I do expect a journey and not a stagnant destination once the two individuals have but nurtured love. That I will not and can not stand, to bask in it is fare and well but life moves forward, perpetually and we as individuals should never resurrect ourselves into a pitiful acceptance, allowing whatever waves to pulls us towards whichever direct in which we should float. There must be desire and passion within ones convictions to continue ones growth, we are not handed love, it must be created through growth and expansion.
Remember the last heated debate we had with Mr.D, tiz and I in regards to the self, relationship, marriage and so forth. Apply my logical expression there and meld it with the highly romanticized side of what I have shared today. That middle ground is my firm believe, I tend to sway between the two extremes on any given day and when I am in a relationship, there is a constant comparing, referral, dissecting, and analyzing between the two sides, through such conflicts emerges some form of conclusion. There is a highly idealistic side to me and an utterly cruel realistically side as well.
My expressions fall not within an expectation of what love should be nor what I would like the person to be, but the journey, I do expect a journey and not a stagnant destination once the two individuals have but nurtured love. That I will not and can not stand, to bask in it is fare and well but life moves forward, perpetually and we as individuals should never resurrect ourselves into a pitiful acceptance, allowing whatever waves to pulls us towards whichever direct in which we should float. There must be desire and passion within ones convictions to continue ones growth, we are not handed love, it must be created through growth and expansion.
Posted by Libra911
I am kinda lost with all your idealistic ideas 🙂. I prefer to go with my gut instinct without philosophizing too much. I don't want to be a buzz killer, but being in love is not enough. Being compatible with the person is equally important.
*nod*. This is part of what I meant last night about just knowing the type of person that's going to fit you and what fit you need to make someone else happy.
Posted by Libra911
I am kinda lost with all your idealistic ideas 🙂. I prefer to go with my gut instinct without philosophizing too much. I don't want to be a buzz killer, but being in love is not enough. Being compatible with the person is equally important.
Also...
I HATE PHILOSOPHY MAJORS lol.
Posted by tizianiPosted by Libra911
I am kinda lost with all your idealistic ideas 🙂. I prefer to go with my gut instinct without philosophizing too much. I don't want to be a buzz killer, but being in love is not enough. Being compatible with the person is equally important.
It's Friday and we just like to talk a lot of crap. Indulge.click to expand
Yeh, not on my logical side today, indulged my highly realistically and logic debate a few days back with Mr.D and tiz.
Now indulging my other side today. Feel free to read or otherwise, it is highly romanticized today, with all the Crabby energy in the skies.
+ a billion
In complete agreement, my views entirely as expressed before but do allow one to focus lopsidedly on the aspect of emotions for a few mere moments 🙂
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.click to expand
When I am Single, I enjoy indulging being in Love with the idea of Love but...
Once there is a man within the picture, and otherwise coupled up, my logically realistic side kicks in at high velocities to keep a waging balancing act and war with my romanticisms, so I may not fall into foolish deeds.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.
When I am Single, I enjoy indulging being in Love with the idea of Love but...
Once there is a man within the picture, and otherwise coupled up, my logically realistic side kicks in at high velocities to keep a waging balancing act and war with my romanticisms, so I may not fall into foolish deeds.click to expand
This begs then next question...
Is our little scorpette in love or single at this moment? 😄
Posted by Libra911Posted by tizianiPosted by Libra911
I am kinda lost with all your idealistic ideas 🙂. I prefer to go with my gut instinct without philosophizing too much. I don't want to be a buzz killer, but being in love is not enough. Being compatible with the person is equally important.
It's Friday and we just like to talk a lot of crap. Indulge.
ahh its too early for me, I am just on my second coffee 🙂... it would be cool if these topics happen later at night my timeclick to expand
AH no worries, leebs.
The discussion will now turn towards....
TITS AND BEER!!!!
WOOHOOOOOO
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by tiziani
Does anyone really know that though? To me "knowing" something inevitably means being closed off. Since we close ourselves off to the unknown, which pretty much impedes love imo.
My godmother once told me "we always end up choosing to fall in love with the stupidest relationships" and that strikes me as one of the few truths that had stood the test of time. Not to say stupid is bad or good. Just that we are human.
I think that's just it and I hope the point I made substantiates that. Falling in love with the expectation causes that in my opinion.
I want to love a person, not an idea.
We are human, thus we love as humans. Not as a super-universal, ethereal being of pure light.
click to expand
It draws down to this:
Loving an idea - Simple
Loving an individual - Difficult
There is attraction, lust, desire and being in love. Hardly an occurrence that is rare, it happens all the time, every day as we go about love, spontaneous moments, split seconds.
To be compatible enough to love an individual as a whole, it takes a lifetime of work, patient, understanding, communication, trust, and a nearly stubborn will to match. It is not easy, for it is not fleeting, it is real, even though constantly changing, it is a breathing human being, that one has to account for, which does not disappear, nor meld into what we would like/want at any given moment. We are faced with the realities of it all, on a daily grind, this takes true courage and guts, to face this, tackling it as it comes.
Posted by tiziani
I'm actually about to fall asleep if I don't have a kebab. It's been a long two days. Be good to yourselves in the meantime.
And Lady Scorp you should definitely write books, if you don't already. Not necessarily because of your Merc in Libra words, but because you portray conflict within them very vividly. It's very sincere. Which is what I meant by the funny thing of preserving privacy when your character shines through larger than most regardless.
Also VH and Lady Scorp have a good chemistry. I don't mean in any particular way. Take it how you want. Just good to see.
Ci sentiamo dopo.
Tiz, be well my friend! I enjoyed this conversation today.
Posted by CuriousLuv1Posted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
I think there is an ultimate love, but I think that we have to get past the "romanticism" of what we think is love. What you described before sounds more like the ultimate love where you are so connected or so many levels that not even words have to be spoken. Like you said it takes a lot of time with someone to get there. The problem is that so many of us want these things instantly, but do not want to really put in the work to attain it. Love is never ending. So you always have to work at it because the human in us will come out to disrupt it. Whether intentional or not.click to expand
Nothing worthwhile or true will come with work put forth and effort. We reap what we sow, any expectations on our part, to be given, handed to us, such gift is utter absurdity and ignorance. If it were instant, we would not appreciate it, only once have we put in our sweat and blood, do we take a step back to admire what we have but attained and created. That satisfaction is the true cravings in which we desire, not instantaneous gratification.
Posted by Libra911Posted by tiziani
Also 911, when you say "love is not enough" is there any specific experience that makes you say that? I am not going to be playing devil's advocate or arguing the reverse. Just intrigued to hear, since I once used to say that and know the feeling. And I've seen pretty much everyone I know find themselves in a space where they say those exact words. I am wondering what is the experience and feeling behind that. For me it was because of experiencing a breakup with my ex girlfriend where she used to say that all the time until I just started believing it.
I had only one experience like this, but somehow it worked for a few years, just because of that "in love" factor. There was incompatibility because of the difference in character and while love is there, you tolerate it. Once is gone (and incompatibility can kill this feeling), you start to see all the negatives that causes you even more stress than before. I believe that once that honeymoon phase is over, the reality kicks in, and the more incompatible you are, the worst chance you will have to keep the relationship going.
I have a lot of friends who married out of love (as it should be) with partners they don't have much in common. I had an opportunity to witness the intense love in the beginning, and the hatred at the end. It is unbelievable how much incompatibilities can be disguised by love, but it can't last for long. Eventually the differences will come outclick to expand
So true, so true.
Question for you then leebs: If you had it your way, would you prefer a lover that was passionate or a lover that made you laugh every day?
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by CuriousLuv1Posted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
I think there is an ultimate love, but I think that we have to get past the "romanticism" of what we think is love. What you described before sounds more like the ultimate love where you are so connected or so many levels that not even words have to be spoken. Like you said it takes a lot of time with someone to get there. The problem is that so many of us want these things instantly, but do not want to really put in the work to attain it. Love is never ending. So you always have to work at it because the human in us will come out to disrupt it. Whether intentional or not.
Nothing worthwhile or true will come with work put forth and effort. We reap what we sow, any expectations on our part, to be given, handed to us, such gift is utter absurdity and ignorance. If it were instant, we would not appreciate it, only once have we put in our sweat and blood, do we take a step back to admire what we have but attained and created. That satisfaction is the true cravings in which we desire, not instantaneous gratification.click to expand
I call this...
The ember vs. the flame
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by tiziani
Haha, tiz I wish I could disagree or agree but frankly I am still on my journey, therefore hard for me to define it as such.
Attempted to do so in the past but then it got me nowhere. Although by Ultimate Love, one does no mean True Love, what I meant is a Love that is the Ideal Pedestal, the one and only. That I could not for the life of me subscribe to, that there will only be one, for each love we encounter will be true to a certain extent, because each love we nurture, we were a different individual, at various points within our lives. They were each true to us then, and the love in which I speak of was in regards to romantic love, not 'love' as a general concept.
That's cool. To be quite frank I still think we are just plain in disagreement on how we see that. I say that just to say that I respect your journey and I don't have any of the answers myself. Just because I believe in true love, what's true is I believed I haven't attained it. So, it is what it is. It could take a lifetime.
But when it comes to giving value to all experiences and that, honestly I don't feel the need to remain open or accountable or even acknowledge all my experiences. A lot of them have faded with memory and I've paid all my dues. The only value I attribute is to being accountable to God and my family. Just because that's what gives me direction. If I were to tell myself all my experiences hold value in being equal, I personally wouldclick to expand
You are lucky that experience fades, my super computer of a mind carries within it, an elephant memory which rarely forgets though filed away. Although it does allow for one to have a stunning catalogue to refer back upon should one wish to put for an article for one to mull over, drawing new conclusions.
Ay, I suppose we each have the best of our own individual worlds and style s, in ways I envy yours, but grass is always greener on the other side 🙂
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by VirgoHeroPosted by SirenSting
Oh LS, how I love your words, they are wonderful.
Yea, LS. PLEASE don't take this as OMG IM FIGHTING YOU. The moment you feel that, tell me and I will stop immediately.
Quite the contrary, I'm stuck on your words, thus my responses.
What gibberish are you spewing out here dear VH, I am lost in translation 😄
SirenSting - Thank you dear for your kind words. (hug)
WHATEVER! 😛 I try to be considerate and I get clawed by you!click to expand
Clawed?!
*checks pincers, opens, closes*
They are hardly sharp...come now, I shall give you a cheeky look, give me a 😄
Posted by tiziani
Make room for romance!
*Cupid, checking the string on his bow*
—
*Off the arrow goes, soaring*
Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.
When I am Single, I enjoy indulging being in Love with the idea of Love but...
Once there is a man within the picture, and otherwise coupled up, my logically realistic side kicks in at high velocities to keep a waging balancing act and war with my romanticisms, so I may not fall into foolish deeds.
This begs then next question...
Is our little scorpette in love or single at this moment? 😄click to expand
That is a mystery, yet to be unveiled 😄
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.
When I am Single, I enjoy indulging being in Love with the idea of Love but...
Once there is a man within the picture, and otherwise coupled up, my logically realistic side kicks in at high velocities to keep a waging balancing act and war with my romanticisms, so I may not fall into foolish deeds.
This begs then next question...
Is our little scorpette in love or single at this moment? 😄
That is a mystery, yet to be unveiled 😄click to expand
Hahah
Posted by tiziani
I'm actually about to fall asleep if I don't have a kebab. It's been a long two days. Be good to yourselves in the meantime.
And Lady Scorp you should definitely write books, if you don't already. Not necessarily because of your Merc in Libra words, but because you portray conflict within them very vividly. It's very sincere. Which is what I meant by the funny thing of preserving privacy when your character shines through larger than most regardless.
Also VH and Lady Scorp have a good chemistry. I don't mean in any particular way. Take it how you want. Just good to see.
Ci sentiamo dopo.
Hah, you are a darling for adamantly straight up assuming I must possess a Libran Mercury. Is it not a strange combination? To be publicly private, distant intimacy, sincere veils.
Well, hey hey VH. What say you in regards to good chemistry, a combustible reaction here or shall we simply light the bunsen burner?
Ciao tiz, Un abbraccio,
A presto!
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by CuriousLuv1Posted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
I think there is an ultimate love, but I think that we have to get past the "romanticism" of what we think is love. What you described before sounds more like the ultimate love where you are so connected or so many levels that not even words have to be spoken. Like you said it takes a lot of time with someone to get there. The problem is that so many of us want these things instantly, but do not want to really put in the work to attain it. Love is never ending. So you always have to work at it because the human in us will come out to disrupt it. Whether intentional or not.
Nothing worthwhile or true will come with work put forth and effort. We reap what we sow, any expectations on our part, to be given, handed to us, such gift is utter absurdity and ignorance. If it were instant, we would not appreciate it, only once have we put in our sweat and blood, do we take a step back to admire what we have but attained and created. That satisfaction is the true cravings in which we desire, not instantaneous gratification.click to expand
I agree!! Yet there are so many of us that don't get that. With certain things that have happened in an individuals life or lack of knowledge of love we allow past hurts to run our minds. "I will never do that again" "I will never allow myself to get close to another like that again" Which causes blocks in love.
Posted by CuriousLuv1Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.
I was reading somewhere that falling in love with potential is a mistake. Now, does that mean if I love a man who is working in a shoe store, but he wants be a world renowned chef. And I believe he can do it and be it and I am supportive of that. Is that me falling for his potential?click to expand
No one answered my question here. LOL
Posted by CuriousLuv1Posted by CuriousLuv1Posted by VirgoHeroPosted by TheLadyScorpio
VH - On another note, I do not believe nor subscribe to the thinking of an Ultimate Love for there exist no such thing. In one lifetime, we will experience many loves, each different, each a contributing part, each satisfying and highly enlightening. No one should be more than the other and they were, each and every one of them love, neither greater or lesser, simply are.
Oh I'm cool with this but I question whether you're in love with the idea more than the idea of being in love with someone.
I was reading somewhere that falling in love with potential is a mistake. Now, does that mean if I love a man who is working in a shoe store, but he wants be a world renowned chef. And I believe he can do it and be it and I am supportive of that. Is that me falling for his potential?
No one answered my question here. LOLclick to expand
Yes, you are falling not in love with the pure essence of the man, but with the hinderance of what he is, external to it. That may or may not be a mistake, it may very well be 50/50 possibility but one should never fall for a future that has yet to come. One is suppose to love a man as he is now, the future is simply a journey to be walked together, ambitions, passions exists as a part of a being, who we are but not the entire soul.
OK I just wanted to understand to see if I was the loving for potential type. We all have plans and goals some may or may not come to light, but I don't think I go in banking on "oh he wants to do this and that and I LOVE that so I am going to stick around". I am the I met you and I see the good in you and I see where you can get on my DAMN nerves, but I have gotten to know you and I am still interested in what else is apart of you. I know you have goals and dreams and I will be behind you, but if God forbid those things didn't work out I am still behind you.
Posted by feby16aqua
I'm SO PISSED!!! uggh I just went to get waxed and she fucked it all up.
Normal waxing or a rough pampering for the kitty down there?
Posted by feby16aqua
I'm SO PISSED!!! uggh I just went to get waxed and she fucked it all up.
This is not your regular person?
Posted by tiziani
Don't women love potential in general? I've never outright seen a woman fall for someone based on who they are. Normally when they've accepted them and see no more room for potential, that's when the love dies. Happens to all middle aged couples I know. It's always the woman that talks about "the passion is gone, thank god we are still friends" whereas the man has nothing to say really.
What do men fall in love with?
Posted by feby16aquaPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by feby16aqua
I'm SO PISSED!!! uggh I just went to get waxed and she fucked it all up.
Normal waxing or a rough pampering for the kitty down there?
Well yes love. — a brazilian. No other way to go when it's beach time 😛
I should have known when she pulled out the same wax they use for eyebrows. And yes the words "a brazilian means no hair" did come out of my mouth at least once during the ordeal.
I just attained warrior status after that LOL.
Waxing the same spot over and over again lol wtFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Plus I had to come back and finish it myself GEEZUS.click to expand
You must be my sister from another elemental mother, close enough...water and air 🙂
In agreement, — a brazilian. Nothing else feels fresher, breezier, cleaner and oh so sensitive.
Oww, the wrong type of wax would not grip the hairs as strongly as it should, leaving a messy ordeal. Then to do so over and over again, did she bruise you for heaven's sake?! You must be warrior, to be able to cope, my kitty would be riding mad.
Posted by Libra911Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by feby16aqua
I'm SO PISSED!!! uggh I just went to get waxed and she fucked it all up.
Normal waxing or a rough pampering for the kitty down there?
wooooow 🙂click to expand
That was the nicest way in which one could put it without being blatant 🙂
Posted by feby16aquaPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by feby16aqua
I'm SO PISSED!!! uggh I just went to get waxed and she fucked it all up.
Normal waxing or a rough pampering for the kitty down there?
Well yes love. — a brazilian. No other way to go when it's beach time 😛
I should have known when she pulled out the same wax they use for eyebrows. And yes the words "a brazilian means no hair" did come out of my mouth at least once during the ordeal.
I just attained warrior status after that LOL.
Waxing the same spot over and over again lol wtFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Plus I had to come back and finish it myself GEEZUS.click to expand
This just sounds like abuse to the CoocH!!! SO NOT RIGHT!
Posted by tiziani
Don't women love potential in general? I've never outright seen a woman fall for someone based on who they are. Normally when they've accepted them and see no more room for potential, that's when the love dies. Happens to all middle aged couples I know. It's always the woman that talks about "the passion is gone, thank god we are still friends" whereas the man has nothing to say really.
It would be but one part of the whole package but it should not be the, be all and end all. Although what you speak of seems to be a death in growth rather than potential, or the two individuals had begun to change, though now venturing in oppositely veering directions.
Hmmmmm I would love for some more men to chime in on this one.
Some Men can't be alone I think that is why someone go to other women than stay alone like you Tiz.
May be she was in love with the potential Tiz and when you weren't that in her opinion she started to nag and whatever to make you that person you weren't which to you was nerve racking.
So now after seeing that 911, do men actually fall in love or is it the respect for them that they need to have for that woman?
Posted by Libra911
"But honestly anytime i've called it quits on a relationship it had more to do with the fact the woman I was with stopped being someone I enjoy spending my time with. She became annoying or just a downright pain to be in the same room with."
Do you think this was due to lack of chemistry? Maybe it has to do something with what I mentioned before. Incompatibility :/
Incompatibility.
People change fortunately and unfortunately, a couple that may be together now, somewhere down the line, circumstances, life, experiences may change them into someone else entirely. What may have began as highly compatible may now be incompatible. Now, whether those two individuals should stay together or not, that depends upon their commitment, if there is any children and so forth. Although on the relationship front, one would assume the case as to what tiz has but described. Changes, will invariantly leave to a decrease in chemistry as well, a disconnect on a whole.
Posted by CuriousLuv1
So now after seeing that 911, do men actually fall in love or is it the respect for them that they need to have for that woman?
This goes back to the entire debate previous...
Posted by tizianiPosted by Libra911
"But honestly anytime i've called it quits on a relationship it had more to do with the fact the woman I was with stopped being someone I enjoy spending my time with. She became annoying or just a downright pain to be in the same room with."
Do you think this was due to lack of chemistry? Maybe it has to do something with what I mentioned before. Incompatibility :/
Yeah perhaps you are right. Like I was saying to TLS earlier, I've forgotten most of that. Mainly because I allowed myself to. So it must have been infatuation. Because the love I feel for things now, like even just my career or some of my friends... but including the person I love now.... it doesn't compare. Can't even remember what I was doing before.click to expand
What you may be feeling now, could very possibly be forgotten in let's say ten years time as well. When does one proverbially stop, and say enough, this is it, I shall accept and settle?
Posted by tizianiPosted by CuriousLuv1
May be she was in love with the potential Tiz and when you weren't that in her opinion she started to nag and whatever to make you that person you weren't which to you was nerve racking.
You are more than likely right. And like 911 says, we were never going to be the people to make one another happy. Sometimes you meet someone that "moves" you and even if the emotion is shitty, you still attribute "meaning" to that relationship. Forgetting that the point of a relationship is to actually work towards enjoying yourself and being happy, supportive. I wasn't a supportive person, I can say that much.click to expand
You weren't supportive at all, not even in the beginning?
Settling. Do we not ultimately settle? Is it what we settle for that usually is an issue for individuals?
Posted by tizianiPosted by CuriousLuv1Posted by tizianiPosted by CuriousLuv1
May be she was in love with the potential Tiz and when you weren't that in her opinion she started to nag and whatever to make you that person you weren't which to you was nerve racking.
You are more than likely right. And like 911 says, we were never going to be the people to make one another happy. Sometimes you meet someone that "moves" you and even if the emotion is shitty, you still attribute "meaning" to that relationship. Forgetting that the point of a relationship is to actually work towards enjoying yourself and being happy, supportive. I wasn't a supportive person, I can say that much.
You weren't supportive at all, not even in the beginning?
Let's say I was supportive in the way I believed support was meant to be given, but that wasn't the type of support she needed. And even when she asked me, I didn't care to change enough. I had my own priorities and she was not high enough on that list to want to do that. In fairness to her, she recognized that long before I did.
Also in fairness to the both of us, we went through a lot of outside influences that break anyone. Deaths in the family, losing a child, all these things happening at exactly the wrong time. A lot of changes are out of anyone's control.click to expand
Mmmm But those challenges continue to happen throughout life. So would you say the foundation may not have been strong enough? Also she wasn't high priority on your list which is pretty major.
Posted by feby16aquaPosted by CuriousLuv1
Settling. Do we not ultimately settle? Is it what we settle for that usually is an issue for individuals?
Settle implies for me, a "stop"...I don't ever want to stop. There's wayyy too much to do 😄click to expand
My bad I thought we were talking about relationships.
Posted by tizianiPosted by feby16aqua
Tiz maybe it's not that you didn't care to change enough? Do you think you were capable of changing at that time? Sometimes these things are more out of our control than anything...
That's true. I don't know though... on some very basic things it was clear I did not care enough to change. If someone's asking you to spend more time at the apartment, taking them out more to dinner etc. and you just choose to go to work, and on days off chill with your friends and play Playstation instead it's pretty clear you have different priorities between you both lolclick to expand
Oh yeah! This sounds like you didn't care to be around much at all! Sorry to say. No one wants to keep begging for that time.
Posted by feby16aquaPosted by CuriousLuv1Posted by feby16aquaPosted by CuriousLuv1
Settling. Do we not ultimately settle? Is it what we settle for that usually is an issue for individuals?
Settle implies for me, a "stop"...I don't ever want to stop. There's wayyy too much to do 😄
My bad I thought we were talking about relationships.
lol we were. haha. 😄
Ok, I'm just saying that nothing should really settle in relationships...there should be continual growth and change together.click to expand
Oh totally agree that growth has to be continual in a relationship absolutely. However, we have to keep in mind that sometimes the changes come differently or at a different time for each of us. So in a relationship we need to have that patience that someone might have to catch up.
Posted by tiziani
Yeah there was definitely no strong foundation there Curious. But these kind of things have brought marriages down. I don't think it would have been something to be controlled or be prepared for. It sounds funny but one of the days I was able to let go and move past all that was when I was driving in the rain and heard Frank Lampard had divorced with his wife over the radio, due to the death of his mother some years back bringing differences between them.
I sat there thinking if this guy with millions, a home and a wife can't survive that kind of thing then let's not be arrogant and blame ourselves for things that are simply beyond our control.
Yes I agree that some things are just so detrimental it tears families apart. Very unfortunate, but I still wonder if the parties have contributed. I used to say everything happens for a reason. I didn't quite get it, but I think more and more now it is coming to me how things happen and turns things around in the long run. If you sit down with things you might see all the connections.
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