When the spell is broken

Well the fairytale ending didn't last very long. After reuniting (again) with my Libra from a dramatic roller coaster of emotions and behavioral disappearances(very similar to Chatz's)he begged me for a second chance. Poured his heart and soul out in a very in depth email regarding his deep love and feelings for me. Explained to me that he was deeply sorry for disappearing for such great lengths of time but blamed it on his work schedule and the constant care for his elderly mother who is on her own now since his father passed away the year before. He told me he regretted being so distant and would work at being more attentive to me and agreed we should be having more communication regularly and would make more effort to do so. (key word "effort" stuck in my head uncomfortably but i didn't say anything at the time. It would have been nit-picky).

Anyway, that was right around the last week of November. He was great for about a week. I sent him 3 TM's over the course of the following week and got no response. I called 2 times but didn't leave a message when he didn't answer. 2 weeks went by and I heard nothing from him. Then during the 3rd week of his disappearance he saw me online in one of my live email programs. He started a chat. I responded with just hello in return. He asked how I was and said he had been out of town on work for 3 days (didn't bother to explain where he was for the previous 2 weeks). Declared he didn't have roaming feature on his phone (yet he claims his company sent him out of town- what company doesn't provide communication when on business out of town which he does occassionally?)He Also volunteered that he bought calling cards to keep in contact with his mother. (but didn't buy one to call me?) He concluded with asking me how I was. I responded and told him I was fine. Proceeded to tell him I was going out of town in a few days to travel north to visit my father and would leave in 3 days. I then asked him how is it he has such serious time constraints to see me when he is home because of his constant care for his mother but could leave town for 3 days?

Just then the connection dropped. He never answered the question. He never made any contact knowing I was leaving in 3 days. I didn't hear from him again until 2 weeks later when I was on the phone and saw his incoming call but let it go to voicemail.

A few days later, he called again and left a message. "Sorry, I've been so busy. The last we connected the connection drop. How are you?"

I didn't bother responding. As much as I have missed him and wanted every word of everything he says to be true I don't feel I can believe it anymore. Some parts of what he says I KNOW are true but come on......even the busiest person in the world has time to call and speak to the person they "allegedly" love!

I haven't made any attempt to contact him and choose to be distant w/him like he has done to me. I don't know.......thought I'd try giving him a taste of his own medicine since speaking to him right up front about how that kind of behavior didn't work for me and hasn't produced any positive results.

I really feel it is over for me in my heart now and intend to tell him but the last time I did that... he poured out his heart to me, professed deep love for me even more and said it would all be different if he had another chance. What I got in return was intensely MORE of what I told him would not work for me. Absence, distance, and no communication! WTF—

Why would someone go to such lengths to get someone to be in a relationship with them only to behave that way? not once but twice?? Am I missing something here? What kind of sick game is that? Can someone truly be THAT busy they don't have any time to connect in some way with someone they say profess to love, want, need, and desire??

Thanks L-0426. I'll try to keep that in mind when I eventually (that may be a long time coming now) have contact with him. He is so incredibly convincing when he speaks from his heart about what he feels, wants, needs, etc. If he doesn't mean any of those things then he is a darn good actor. Maybe he only means them in the moment. But then...why say them at all if he (libra) doesn't want to deliberately hurt me and yet knows that he does.

I could almost understand how it would be hard for him to confront me knowing he has screwed up again. I think human nature would make any of us want to not face the fire.
The thing is even when he let's me down there isn't any "drama" involved when we "confront" the issues. I don't like confrontations either but I do let him know what is and isn't acceptable for me and if the issue continues I let him know that it isn't going to work for me. That's when he always comes back making promises he can't keep. (arrrgghh)I give him the benefit of the doubt but so far he's not been able to follow thru with any of his promises. I simply tell him the things that won't work for me (or aren't working for me) and that certain things are just "deal breakers" for me and I make other choices that are better for ME. In an extreme case (such as this) the only other alternative choice I felt would work for me was to end the relationship and move on. He insists breaking up is not what he wants.

I've really tried hard to live with the disappearing and absences and told him so. I have tried to be very understanding to his circumstances, situations, time constraints, etc. but he doesn't seem to take any consideration to me and what is important to me. A sign for me that it's just going to continue. I've also expressed those thoughts with him. Does it really hurt all that much to talk about the important stuff? I thought libras were great at communication and yet mine isn't communicating at all. When he does, his behavior is the complete opposite of what he says. I'll try approaching him from a different angle given your point and see if it has any affect upon him. It will be hard to tell if treating him now, the way he treats me, is making any difference or if the advice you have given me will make any impact at all. Either way, I'm hurt far too deep now to keep it going other then wishing him well and moving forward to find someone who isn't so "unavailable"

Look. It doesn't make sense to torture yourself or be unhappy. If he is serious about changing his ways he will. It is about YOU, remember that. So far his patterns hasn't changed. You can't change them for him, he has to do it for himself. Why be miserable in a relationship with a man you aren't Really in a relationship with? I have had FWB's (librans) who wouldn't disappear that many times at that legnth. It just doesn't make sense.

When in a serious relationship/marriage with librans, they are in constant contact and are the sweetest when communicating. This is why I don't understand the lack of contact. LOVE SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD. If he is hurting you more than making you happy it isn't right for you at this time. Maybe he will be different later, he clearly isn't changing right now, so walk away. Save yourself the heartache. I only know too well how hard that can be. Hugs... TJ...

"But if your gonna do that, you can talk to him or see cause he will suck you back in. TRUST ME!!!!!" Absolutely!!! LOL

I totally agree with all your advise(s). I guess that's why I waited this long before posting. I had to sort out the pros and cons of how the relationship in general made me feel. I really needed some validation that I was doing the right thing and I really appreciate the immensely helpful advise posted thus far.

The thing is,when I'm with him it is wonderful.I crave him. But that one day, of seeing him/being with him, to the other 30 +/- is just not right without some kind of communication going on back and forth. I am OVER feeling badly more days then I can count compared to the 1 day I get with him between times. It's odd, but he even said to me "I know I am being unfair to ask you to wait for me until things change (I assume he meant until his mother passes away) and he even added he hoped I thought he was worth the wait because he didn't want to lose me. But yet he is doing every thing in the world that are the reasons I feel I should walk away. I know I can't change him or the circumstances. It must be something that he wants to do all by himself. The thing is.....it ain't happening!! Making the decision was the hardest part. Getting over the dream of what "could have been" is the second hardest part that is yet to come.

I am in a quandary of whether I should be the one to call him for Christmas or wait for him to contact me. If I make the contact then it sets things in motion from a different advantage. Me always being the one to contact him. At this point I guess it doesn't really matter. But I will definitely heed your great advise because it makes very good sense and I appreciate the support in knowing that I'm doing the right thing. I don't like the idea that this whole thing is unfolding over Christmas.

I know I'm being nervous too about talking to him now because I know how charming, persuasive, and convincing he can be to get me back and I want to let him know I am serious about how I feel and I'm willing to be strong enough to leave and walk away given the way he isn't putting any effort into the relationship.

QS the torturing myself part I think is "almost" over in this saga because for the most part I've already begun to move on. The worst part was lamenting over what do I want to do? What should I do? The hurt of knowing that a final decision is the torture of letting go of something you love and cherish. To actual put thought into motion.

So should I call or wait for him to call. It's been 2weeks since I hear

*** it's been weeks since I heard from him. His last attempt was a voicemail message saying "sorry the connection dropped on our last chat". That was it!

****as I have those days were I get hurt when he doesn't pick up the phone when I call or he bails on me, I still can't leave him. I love the damn guy and I'm still gonna stick around till I know 100% he is not the one for me. I just don't want him to my "what if". I feel like there is something else going on or maybe that is the way he is.**** Funny thing is I agree with you 1000% and we have a great connection otherwise but I am trying to be smart about the choices I make and it doesn't seem so smart to torture myself anymore as QS said.

Chatz, I totally know how hard it is to resist and if I could by some insurance that could protect me from that kind of problem I'd buy the biggest policy they make and insure my heart with a double indemnity policy. HA!!

The fact that I am not a cold hearted bitch would probably be the reason. Whether he calls me, or I call him, would predicate HOW that call would transpire out. But mostly, in case you are too busy being scrooge this year, you may not have noticed it is Christmas and there are still common courtesies civil people do with one another. I don't hate the man. Afterall, I have had very deep and loving feelings for him and have been involved with him for a few years romantically and then as friends and now...after a few years we got involved again but didn't have these issues (if you've read previous posts) and I probably will have lasting feelings for him for a long time, even though I am making other choices that won't be involving him.

Am I Disappointed in him? Absolutely!! DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED!! Do I think things could ever work out for him and I? I don't know...probably not! But one thing I am not is a cold hearted bitch.But You just gave me a good reason to make the call. Thank you! LOL

templeofjaguar,I know it's hard to break away from Libra men!It's like they cast a spell on you , it can feel too good to be true at the beginning , especially you're a Scorp! There is an amazing chemistry like electricity shock!(sorry dont know how to explain better!),emotional understanding and the guessing games that you two can play pretty well and most of the time you both are right but the rest of the time you totally get it wrong because you forget one thing-you 're two unique individuals that sometimes even are confused about yourselve so there is no way on earth you could understand completely and utterly one another!I won't go further into the intellectual connection because it is also incredible according to my experience!Conversations seem to never end!
Yes,Libra men have a feminine side and they can understand what we - females want! That's the reason why they can smooth things over in relationship.Now,some good and decent Libra men wouldn't lead other person if he sees no future with her but being diplomatic,he can find it quite difficult to say directly( it depends on the guy's maturity as well!) so he hints (which can pretty picked up quickly by a Scorp!)and it's your time to choose now - move on or hang on to him and cross your finger that he will change his mind which requires so much effort from you(may I say tears and blood ! lol! 😄).
I saw my ex again yesterday . We had dinner and had wonderful conversations . He flirted with me like there was nothing happened before. When we parted , he hugged me tightly like we aren't history and it might last forever if I didn't push him away ( yeap, I've broken the spell ! I can't go back that road and it's pretty disrepectful for the girl that he 's dating now - he didn't tell me he had but I know) then he looked at me suprised and confused (as always 😛). When he left , I just felt that I wanted to laugh out loud about all the nevourness I felt before meeting him .It was really nonsensical to worry that I might fall for his charms again but it didn't happen , perhaps it reaches the expire date for me 🙂
My point is that you can move on if you really want to , just take some alone time away from the man . I didn't go online for 3 months after my ex and I broke up . He sent me offline mesg and I replied politely but that was it . Time can heal everything. Time flies quicly too...Don't spend it all on one person...Who knows another Libra is waiting somewhere if you're still interested in them :

***"I know I am being unfair to ask you to wait for me until things change (I assume he meant until his mother passes away) and he even added he hoped I thought he was worth the wait because he didn't want to lose me.***

He isn't emotionally available to give you what you need. So leave it be for now instead of pressure him into doing so and torturing yourself as well, when he might feel his focus should be on his mom.

I agree with exam: When scorps move on - we move on. Librans hate to be avoided, but sometimes it is necessary.

"Librans hate to be avoided, but sometimes it is necessary" ABSOLUTELY...they need time (plenty of it) to sort themselves out, to think, analyze, and most of all, realize that you're actually missing out of their lives...slowly, slowly, slowly they figure it out but will it be too late?? well who knows....crazy stuff LOL

that's what i'm going thru right now... 😢

No I don't pressure him because I know it would not produce the results I want. I don't like being pressured either and for that reason I try not to do the same to others. In case you've all forgotten the history with Libra and I... HE came looking for me after 2.5 years since we broke up (we dated a year) and HE asked if we could pick up where we left off when we went from being romantically involved to just being friends. I told him I didn't want to compromise the friendship because I really valued it and didn't want to risk losing it. But he said he was willing to take the risk because he never stopped loving me. So in short, we got back together. The thing is I keep asking myself why would he go to all this effort to want to get back together with me and ask for another chance and then vanish again and again? QS you are soooo right....he is not emotionally or phsyically available and I am preparing to move on. This is the second incident with long term absences that prompted me to advise him it just isn't going to work for me like this. But then it occurred to me recently that maybe.....just maybe......he went to all that trouble because even though he isn't available completely in ways he should be at this time PERHAPS he was maybe trying to secure his position with me until he could work things out but he isn't succeeding at doing it. I know I'm supposed to read between the lines with Libras but the lines I'm trying to look at are blurred to me and I'm not getting it at all. I know we've all been through that dialog with me before here on the Libra board about him and his reasons for vanishing and the common conclusion is that My Libra is obviously not normal. I wish I had more patience, tolerance, and a lot of ESP but the truth is I'm just worn down from it all and I am going to try to move on in my life and just accept that even though we could be right for each other, we do really love each other, there are too many obstacles in the way and those obstacles are the red flags that shouldn't be ignored.

Exam, I hope I get to the condition of numbness or distraction with my emotions where the spell has completely worn off and I have that confidence and control over them like you described. I had it ALL under control when we were JUST FRIENDS. It's hard to shift gears again. But with a lot of self discipline I think I can eventually succeed in getting there again. I wonder how Libra will deal with it?

HP, what's going on with you and your man?

"I had it ALL under control when we were JUST FRIENDS" There wasn't any control needed on my part when I saw him , I just immediately knew that was it , we couldn't go back ...perhaps it was an illusion ... sometimes I wondered if I was confused between TRUST and LOVE! Yes ...Meeting him again was a right decision to answer my question : Have I moved on ?
During my healing process , I also realised what made me hold on to him before : I invested so much in the relationship and regretted of the effort and felt like a complete idiot ... My ego made me hold on ,told me not to give up but Love isn't supposed to be so hard and suffering. Yes , it was all about PRIDE. When I accepted my defeat ,relinquish my control, I'm free from myself. He wasn't the reason from the start.🙂

"My ego made me hold on ,told me not to give up but Love isn't supposed to be so hard and suffering. Yes , it was all about PRIDE. When I accepted my defeat ,relinquish my control, I'm free from myself. He wasn't the reason from the start" OMG that is exactly how I feel right now.....it really isn't meant to be so hard....go to where it is so much easier 🙂 🙂

I know you are right about that. Because I felt "turned off" when I was ready to move on before. But then when he wrote this incredible email pouring out his heart and soul to me and told me how much he really needed me to be there for him during a difficult time in his life and apologizing for being so distant and that he would be more attentive because he didn't want to lose me........well ....I caved. All those feelings I thought I had overcome...all the love that I once had for him...it came flooding back and I agreed to give him another chance. He was never a bad guy. He just has this vanishing thing and lack of communication thing that I can't tolerate. (it is pretty extreme)

That's where I am now. The end of his second chance with me! But I know you are right about feeling MUCH LESS emotionally attached and more liberated from the situation. I definitely do not have that compulsion to work at saving the relationship anymore from a romantic point. I've pretty much feel that emotional attachment diminished greatly. I do still care about him but in a MUCH different way. The love is there but it's in a different place in my heart. I don't think my pride was keeping me in the situation as much as my determination to prove to myself that I did all that I could to "make it work out on my part". I stuck it out so I wouldn't have regrets. I have been accused,in past relationships, of walking away, not giving the relationship a chance to work, not being forgiving of others mistakes. So, now I feel compelled to stay in the relationships far too long and in my mind at least long enough to say I "DID" try and I "DID" give the other person the opportunity as well to make mistakes and for us to both work at making it better. I don't think any relationship is ever easy. In the beginning it is because you're infatuated. When that slows down and you begin to evaluate the relationship and where it's going. Eventually you start to become more critical of the pro's and con's when you visualize a future with that person. It's hard to notice bad behavior in the beginning because both parties are on their best behavior. By the time you've invested so much time and emotion into a relationship it's just hard to toss it aside and move on. Emotions don't always allow us to let go even when our head is telling us to do so. Eventually, the logic begins to win the tug-of-war and we start listening to that more.
I don't feel it was about pride. I didn't fail..he did

But you are right about something inside emotionally does change. A fire has gone out between us.

Send a card? You mean like snail mail? I don't know anybody who does that. Seriously, Maybe I get an occasional ecard on a rare occasion but I would have rather had them call. No, I live in the 21st century sweety and so do all my friends. Geez,My parents don't even send cards, they always MAKE time thru the week before Christmas specifically to call and wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I appreciate that much more then a card. It means a lot more. You can say a lot more in a phone call then you could ever do in a card! And as far as being "scroogie". It isn't necessary. In fact, I already started making my Christmas phone calls today and have already made the call to him. He didn't answer because there is currently a several hour time difference from where I am and where he is right now so I just left the same message that I am leaving everyone I can't reach by phone the SAME message.There is no reason to be hateful any time of the year LKit. But Christmas is......well......it's Christmas! Close the Scrooge Shop Lkit and go home early today. 🙂

You have a good soul L-0426. I hear exactly where you are coming from. I empathize with you 100% . Just because my expectations with Libra weren't being met the amount of time I invested with him wasn't wasted and I certainly don't hate him because he isn't meeting my needs. I truly believe that even though it isn't going to work out for me with the terms the way they are I don't hate this guy. Unless you are in a relationship where the guy is abusive in some way......L-kit's advise is poorly received! There are enough hateful, vengeful, vindictive people in the world and I am NOT one of them. (thank God!). L-Kit gave me 1 good reason why I SHOULD call and be nice. (thanks L-kit)Now I'm glad I did. 🙂

***A lot of them are saying leave him and move on (which I agree) but you are not ready to do that yet...so don't...eventually you will figure it out but it's gonna hurt along the way. If only it was that easy to take peoples advice when it comes to relationships. ***

As you are in a similar situation you might want to consider the fact that it should be about you. What makes you happy. It baffles me that anyone would want to hang on to someone who cannot or is unable to give them what they need to be happy and feel fulfilled. In the end it isn't the other person's fault it is your own, because you have the power of self and only you can control what happens in your life outside of the inevitable.

I guess I am trying to say. It is hard to walk away and TJ, I myself have been accused of walking away too fast without giving a relationship a chance. This is why with my ex husband I couldn'e end it until I knew I had given everything and tried all things possible to make it work. Bottom line, you can't force anyone to be in a space you want them they are the only ones who can make that change. Not to say it won't EVER be what you want, but why stick around and suffer when you have no gaurantee what the end is going to be?

There is more than one man on the planet and there are tons of librans. Wonderful men. When they are ready and in love with you. It can be heaven on earth. If not hell!

Love should be harmoneous and easy, not hard and miserable.

I am in sync with you QS and Exam. This may come off as a bit strange but I think you QS can understand this more then anyone here and probably even Chatz: I am friends with most all of my ex boyfriends. (Some have married and yes..the wife knows her husband and I once dated and there isn't any "obvious" or "known" insecurity issues towards me...I don't give them any reason to have any). Just because it didn't or isn't going to work out why be toxic towards that other person? Like I inquired earlier, unless that person was abusive why become bitter and angry towards them just because my needs were not being met or fulfilled or the timing for our relationship was all wrong. QS is right on with the mark ****someone who cannot or is unable to give them what they need to be happy and feel fulfilled. In the end it isn't the other person's fault it is your own, because you have the power of self and only you can control what happens in your life outside of the inevitable.**** But along the way of getting that fulfillment and getting your needs met you have to invest a little of your time and your self to do all you can and allow yourself and the other person to make mistakes and correct them. If the problem persists (and my problem has persisted) then it's time to make other choices. NOW is that time. It is hard, as every man and woman knows when choosing to let go of the person they love and move on. I still would like to know what good comes from being hateful,vengeful,spiteful, or just mean towards the other person in order for you to walk away from the relationship. I just don't have it in me to be that way. If he chooses to not be friends......then that is his choice and I'd accept it. I'll be sad for the complete loss but like a lot of unpleasant things in life......I'll learn to live with it and learn to live withOUT it.

***QueenScorpio:
It's called taking a risk on love. And we don't know what the end is going to be like but what makes us so certain it's not gonna be good? like you said we don't know but why not take the risk and find out. I have let many men go because I never gave them a chance. Was too quick to give up. Like you mentioned before
"I couldn't end it until I knew I had given everything and tried all things possible to make it work"
which is what I am doing. I feel I haven't given everything and tried everything possible to make it work. ***

Libra0426. I went to that legnth with a man (Libra) who was crazy about me and asked me to be his wife and I married and was with for 8 years, not one that I wasn't sure wanted to be with me. He is clearly telling you in so many words he will if and when he is ready ask you out etc. Meaning he isn't ready right now.

You are right, you can just sit around and hope he will eventually feel that way for you and miss out on possibly "Mr. Right" while you are waiting for "Mr. Not Right Now" not a wise choice, but the choice is yours. You speak about love. Love for whom? Librans (as you should probably know) love on so many different levels. Just because they love you doesn't mean they are "in love" with you.

You are right if you don't think your time is valuable then wait. For how ever long it will take. I just hope whatever century a decision is made he choses to be with you. If not, you have wasted a ton of valuable time and life you can't get back. Some people are gluttens for punishment and misery. To each his/her own.

I am way too good of a catch and my life and time is way to valuable to sit and wait for "just in case". My personal opinion.

***My Libra has loss many loved ones in his life. He lost both his parents 7 years ago at age 21, lost his uncle last month and to top it all off lost his fiance who he has been with a few years ago....Even though some of the loved ones he's lost was years ago he's still dealing with it now and is very insecure to get into a relationship. And I have to understand that.***

It sounds like what he needs most right now is a friend, which can last longer than any relationship. Why don't you just be a friend to him for now. He isn't ready for more clearly.

TJ, exactly my point. I too, am friends with exes. I love remaining friends with exes who met a lot to me. There is always something unique and special about the person that bought us together in the first place. Like you said timing, wants and needs changes of each of us changed and we were no longer compatible for a relationship. I despise being enemies with someone I used to love and care about so deeply. For me, it just changes the dynamic of the way I love them. I go from being "in love" with them to just "loving" them. If you can relate to that.

Yes QS, you TOTALLY get it and you describe it perfectly!!

"being a libra...when i am done, i am truly done...i dont go popping back around for any reason..its over, done, and definitely yesterday's newspaper."

It's just a guess but you sound like you're hurt irishlibra_ ?

Which is it Irishlibra? ****being a libra...when i am done, i am truly done...i dont go popping back around for any reason..its over, done, and definitely yesterday's newspaper.*** OR ****but i cant say that i agree since mine ALWAYS seem to be popping back around..***

The most popular consensus is that they ALWAYS seem to come back and pop up again later!! You might be a rare exception if you claim you don't!!

***actually i have heard this statement often, but i cant say that i agree since mine ALWAYS seem to be popping back around..***

Irishlibra, it is because he isn't done yet, and it doesn't seem like you are either. However, I must admit in recent experience. Scorp men seem to take it more as a bruised ego or pride thing, contrary to scorp woman, they seem to believe "It isn't over until they want it to be over" in my recent experience with one.

Scorp woman, we can walk away and maybe be in tons of pain but you will never know it. Ask LS (libra female as well) who has a best friend Scorp female. She has mentioned this to be one thing she admires about scorp females and she admits this is very hard for her to do.

Irishlibra, don't you have quite a bit of scorp in your chart, who knows this could be why.

Temple,

I'm going thru a rough patch with my boyfriend. I came close to calling it off last week based on somethings that were miscommunicated. He and I didn't spend CHristmas together and at first, I was hurt I wasn't asked to come visit his parents with him, but now that I'm home and unwinding from the holiday weekend, I respect and understand him wanting to spend this time with his family. He came over tonight and we just hung out. He told me to keep Friday night open. We're going to San Antonio on Saturday and he has a surprise for me, he says...so we'll see what he has up his sleeve.

HP, glad to hear things are working out. San Antonio!!! Not fair!! I haven't been able to go see my sister since she had my baby nephew!!! I will be there soon!

QS, they're working out for the moment. I still have not confronted the roommate with what he did and I still don't know if I should confront him. Don't think it'll do any good. I do know that each time that I go to my boyfriend's house, there will be a constant reminder of what went down last week with the a-hole roommate. BUT I was a good person and still gave the roommate a Christmas present. I bought it last week and contemplated giving it to him, but decided I will still be me and if the roommate doesn't like me, then screw him - Im not dating the roommate; I'm dating my boyfriend.

That's my girl!!! If you changed your mind about the gift just because the roomate was an a-hole then you would have given him power. You took it from him when you continued to be yourself. I bet he is baffled. Good luck.

Couldn't agree more and QS is right,... If you allow anger to motivate you to do something in this situation then the other person wins. You only end up lowering yourself to their level. No, be yourself. Give the gift. It shows you have a lot class and SEPARATELY from the holiday deal with the issue appropriately when you have to.

I did my Christmas calls to everyone (including Libra) and I got a very nice response in the spirit of Christmas in return from him. He sent an email and said he tried calling a few times in the past but wasn't able to get thru. He kept his message primarily to that but in his closure he said he has been working overtime to make extra money and hopes to change his situation in the first of the year and wants to see me to tell me what his plans are.

I'm not expecting anything earthshaking in terms of changing the situation where it would benefit us (since I don't feel there is an US in the current arrangement) but I will be expecting whatever he has in the way of ""news" will be benefiting him specifically and doubtful it would include or affect me. I feel better that I didn't allow my resentment to get the better of me and ruin Christmas for the both of us. Now the issue can be addressed separately from the holidays as it should be.

How exciting for you that you still have a surprise in store for you AFTER Christmas!! Be sure to let us all know what it will be!! Sounds great whatever it is because he's created drama in telling you so far ahead of time!

Best of luck!!

Haha! Funny stuff about the whole calling to say "Merry Christmas". I sent my libra a text saying that and he never replied. Well it was a "mass text" but still, woulda been nice for him to say "Thanks!" or "You too!". I guess that takes too much effort for him. I'll be damned if my a $ $ is sending a peep to him on New Years. I'm in the whole "no communication" zone too with mine. One day he's as sweet as can be, then the next he won't even look in my direction. All he ever does is say things to me that implies some kind of "possible future" for us, then disapears. I'm hoping in my case "absence will make the heart grow fonder". We work together and he doesn't know this yet but I plan to leave this job for something better in the next two weeks. I don't intend on telling him either. I'm just going to leave. At the rate we have been going lately I wonder if he will even care that I'm gone 😢

CasperAries, I didn't really expect my Libra to respond to my Merry Christmas message. It would have been sooooo like him not to. But to my surprise.....he did. I just felt much better about myself to be less scrooge-like regardless of if he responded or not. Had he not responded it would have just made things clearer to me about the type of person he had become to me. It would have also made it much easier to move in a different direction that won't include him had he not.

I'd have to say if I were you and given your circumstances and I worked with the guy I too would be looking to leave my position for a BETTER one and in a BETTER environment out of the situation you're in. As a matter of fact, I did the exact same thing many years ago with an almost identical situation to what you're going thru. (the guy wasn't a libra tho). Anyway, I too left the company and got a really awesome job traveling and by the time the guy realized I was gone he must have been in shock. I got some feedback from others at my old job that he seemed "upset" I had gone. That in itself made me feel good. It showed some degree that he cared enough to be upset so I must have meant something afterall but....his "concern" was a little too little too late.

Having been in your same position in the past I support your choice 100% . I also think you'll feel better in the long run because from my own experience....it worked out great for me when I did what you are doing now.

Temple- yeah this job offering couldnt come at a better time. The way me and him are right now, it's just not healthy for ME anymore. He walks in the door and I get all dreamy eyed over him, eavesdrop on his conversations, get all pissed off if he doesn't acknowledge me for the day, etc..I'm trying to let him be cuz he just got out of a realtionship and has explained to me he doesn't want anything "serious" right now. And I know this for a fact he's not lying. It just happened for him in September and he's hurting. But despite the fact he is a "Libra" he is also a man with sexual desires regardless of his "feelings". So that was my mistake. Not being truthful with him from the start as to what I was looking for which is not just sex, but a relationship. I did tell him in October how I felt about him and he asked me to give him time and that he wasn't ready. It obviously didn't scare him off cuz he continued to see me up until now. Lately he's been distant with me at work, ignores me, and turns me down when I ask to see him. I don't know if it's cuz he's depressed cuz of the holidays, or cuz he wants me to leave him alone. Whatever it is, it hurts me. So at work I'm miserable and it just shouldn't have to be this way for me. So I need to leave in hopes one day he will decide, "now I'm ready to date this girl." At least I wont be miserable at work anymore lol
He will know the last day I'm there that it's my last day. No warning. It's just courtesy to send an email to everyone on the floor and say stuff like "Was great working with you all keep in touch!" It gets sent to everyone and he will be included obviously. I wonder if he will even say anything to me the day of? If he doesn't- then I won't be making any efforts to stay in touch with him. He has my number he can call when and if he's ready. It just sucks letting go of someone who you care so much about, but yet it hurts so much to hold on to someone who doesn't treat you the way you should be treated. I'm an Aries and with me- out of sight out of mind. On to the next "crush" cuz we tend to fall in and out of them often. Gotta hunt new prey lol It's just seeing him 5 days a week, doesn't help at all. Can't get him off my mind 😢

BTW- this will be the first guy who I was unable to win over. So I'm just hoping to God my out of sight out of mind tactics will work for me. I never lost a "battle" so to speak-not quite sure how to accept a loss :-/ I just hope within a month of not seeing him will help me to get over him and move on.

Casper, be careful with your "tactics"...He will see this as a game and you'll be further hurt by his decision to walk away completely.

If getting over him and moving on is what you want, then that's what you should do, but do it for YOU and mean it. If he comes back, so to speak, are you going to forget you decided to move on or will you be back at his beck and call? Are you willing to go down that road again? THings you should ask yourself.

I say you'll lose CasperAries as long as you think this is a battle ! Playing mind games is no use when someone doesn't give a damn about you ! I'm sorry for being so harsh but I think it saves you from losing it to yourself , not the guy!

I'll let you on a secret . Libras are master of strategy ! They can see right through you ! They can be manipulators if they choose to ! Very sweet and smooth ones ! When they walk all over you , you'll still be smitten and thankful !
I've a Libra friend who frankly told me that he loves manipulating people sometimes , just for fun and when he told me that , he smiled sweetly , oh , how innocent ! 😛

Houston- I do want to walk away-no games played. It's not healthy for me right now to feel like crap. There is no game here cuz I think we already played lol Now it's him blowing me off. No more game to play. The cat and mouse thing went on for a long time, and I think he's bored with me. I wish I knew what I would do if he came back. That all depends on whether or not I'm with someone else if he decides to come back. Otherwise if single- yeah, I'm pretty weak when it comes to him. 😢 Only thing that will get my mind off him-is someone who captures my interest. I just pray a new man comes a long.

Exam- what do you suggest I do then? I have been straight foward with him on how I feel, and he will reject me today and ask me to see him tomorrow. I just dont understand him! It's bso frustrating, so the only thing I can think of is to leave him alone. I dont want him to think I'm crazy by continuing to come on to him when he says "Not tonight."

Like really! Is there any way to get this man's attention once again?! I dunno what to do anymore he makes me feel inadequate. (Or however you spell it lol) If I call, or text I feel like an a $ $ . I'm just so intimidated by him cuz I never know what he's gonna say or do. Lately I just wait for him to say something which is usually some stupid little flirty joke that goes nowhere :-/

it's a new year soon, so start it off with a new man!

Like HP said but don't be so quick or it could be a rebound ! Take sometimes to heal your wound and treat yourself something special . You know you deserve it 🙂

Staying with this guy is very unhealthy for you because it'll diminish your self esteem . He's sucking your energy and attention because he knows you're so smitten with him ...He enjoys it ...it's flattering him but he can't give you what you want ... a proper relationship... There are two words you can tell him if he ever calls " THE END " 😛

LoL easier said then done! But I will try. You know what I just realized? I been in situations like this before with a Virgo, Taurus, Gemini, Pisces, and another Libra. Except all of them flat out either screwed me over or left me for another woman. Those cases are easy to walk away from cuz they don't leave any "hope" open, plus I'm angry, and I can walk away. Every one of those guys wants me back so bad! I have the Gemini up my a $ $ as I write this thread lol It's just funny that eventually- they will come back no matter what sign they are. Cuz they realize after they make their stupid mistakes on how they treated the girl who never did them wrong, they want a second try. But at that time- it's too late. It's funny how what comes around goes around isnt it? You treat a good person like crap- and it will come back to you. I've had my share of this too. Probably paying for it right now actually with the Libra! lol I put a Leo through this same crap a year ago. I now know how I made him feel. He too wants me back oddly :-/

Oh wow exam- Me telling him "the end" without any other guy in my picture? I think hell would freeze over lol!

HP is right: ****if getting over him and moving on is what you want, then that's what you should do, but do it for YOU and mean it. If he comes back, so to speak, are you going to forget you decided to move on or will you be back at his beck and call?***** You gotta do this for YOU!!!! I do believe he will say something to you when he gets the notice on your last day. Are you sure no one knows you are leaving at work who hasn't already told him? If he has no clue, I assure you he is going to be SHOCKED and that alone will prompt some kind of response from him. If he's known all this time and he doesn't say anything...... then he really does suck and you are smart to move on quickly. I happen to agree with you that a new love is a great remedy for getting over an old love. I wish you TONS of immediate success in your new job and in a wonderful and fulfilling new love life in 2008 !!!!!

Casp-A. I'm friends with most all my EX's and they too have all said after the break up I was the best thing that ever happened to them and have wanted a second chance. But they took too much time making that decision as far as I was concerned. They had their chance and it was over for me. My current Libra is the ONLY guy I have ever given a second chance with re-dating.

I too ended previous relationships because it wasn't working for me and it would be better if we just parted and remained friends. In the beginning it hurt me a lot before, during,and after making the decision to breakup and it sure seemed like they could care less when I told them it was over for me. But....it took about a month for some and a few months for others but each one of them eventually was trying to get me back again but I'd already moved on emotionally and didn't want to go back to the way it was or I was already into a new relationship and was very happy with it. I think you'll find that the more you distance yourself from the situation, the environment, and the person........you'll have the "out of sight...out of mind" experience working for you big time.

***I'm trying to let him be cuz he just got out of a realtionship and has explained to me he doesn't want anything "serious" right now. And I know this for a fact he's not lying. It just happened for him in September and he's hurting. But despite the fact he is a "Libra" he is also a man with sexual desires regardless of his "feelings". So that was my mistake. Not being truthful with him from the start as to what I was looking for which is not just sex, but a relationship. I did tell him in October how I felt about him and he asked me to give him time and that he wasn't ready. It obviously didn't scare him off cuz he continued to see me up until now.***

Cap - because the two of you were never in a relationship he really isn't obligating to do the things you asked. Librans will become distant and act in this manner if they feel the other party wants more than what they are willing to give. In their own right too, because like you said, he made it clear that he didn't want more. You didn't make it clear, so you seem, there is no relationship and he isn't obligated to do or act any way. It is more of a FWB situation. Sex is all there is.