DXP Survivor 2014 Part III

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StoicGoat
@StoicGoat
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Dryer Sheets, please extend a warm welcome to your newest team member, Stillwater. 🙂

The current teams are below:

The Air Heads
Aquariouslove14
Aquasnoz
Duchessedenemours
SteveW

The Downy Dryer Sheets
Aquapiscescusp
Damnata
Getmisted
Scruffy
Theladyscorpio
Stillwater

As with the last debate, the teams will be debating opposite sides of the same topic. You will be permitted to choose whether you are arguing in favor of or against, but you must choose before the topic is revealed. The first team member posting his/her preference will claim it for his/her team. The opposing team's position will be assigned by default.
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StoicGoat
@StoicGoat
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It is difficult today to follow any newsfeed for any meaningful period of time without hearing some story about bullying. It has become common practice in Western society to take decisive measures against this behavior, particularly when it affects minors. Society, however, remains clearly divided on the value of such intervention. Dryer Sheets, you have chosen to argue against intervention, that taking measures to minimize bullying does more harm than good. Airheads, you have been assigned the position of arguing in favor of intervention, that taking measures to minimize bullying does more good than harm.

The winner of the debate will be the team that best stakes its position, defends it against attack, weakens the opposing team??s position, and supports its position with empirical and/or logical evidence. For the purpose of this debate, law is a moot topic; any mention of law will be ignored when judging the debate. Bullying shall be defined as, —overbearing and/or intimidating behavior on the part of a person or group directed against another, generally weaker, person or group.??

I??ll take questions for the next hour (or so) and then we??ll let the party get started. Questions?
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
11 Years500+ Posts

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Bullying is absolutely unacceptable!!! Intervening not only helps the bullied but it also helps the bully (himself/herself) and also witnesses (bystanders) of bullying. Interventions like counseling and anger management for example are necessary because they help identify the source (the root) of what is causing the bullying to happen which starts with the bullier. Interventions occur to cut of any escalation of an already bad situation.Taking measures to minimize bullying does more good because it affects all individuals not just one. Not intervening opens up more opportunity for bullying to continue and reproduce itself in others.
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
11 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by GetMisted
Posted by aquariuslove14
Bullying is absolutely unacceptable!!! Intervening not only helps the bullied but it also helps the bully (himself/herself) and also witnesses (bystanders) of bullying. Interventions like counseling and anger management for example are necessary because they help identify the source (the root) of what is causing the bullying to happen which starts with the bullier. Interventions occur to cut of any escalation of an already bad situation.Taking measures to minimize bullying does more good because it affects all individuals not just one. Not intervening opens up more opportunity for bullying to continue and reproduce itself in others.



Can I have some pudding with this opinion, please?
click to expand






NO!! You can have nothing at all. (Are you trying to be smart with me?)

Can you please defend yourself??_.lol
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Bullying should be resolved between the bullies and the one being bullied. The one being bullied needs to stand up for themselves and stop hiding behind harsh words that hurt their feelings. That is the only way it will be stopped. The bully can usually sense the weakness and be will do their best to keep at it until the one being bullied stops being the victim and stands up for themselves. Ultimately that is what the bully would want. It's not unusual for the one being bullied and the bully to become "friends" at some point after the bullied one has shown strength.

Bullying is unavoidable. Who hasn't been bullied as children? When parents intervene quickly and start to use the label "bully", that's when the danger happens. Calling the police or getting the law involved. It gets worse when the bully feels the child is having their parent(s) fight their petty battles. This is where the kids who are being bullied "die a little inside" of embarrassment, rendering their child fragile and vulnerable.

Teaching your kids to stand up for themselves is the key to this problem.




Interventions are again needed to stop the escalation of a situation. The victim should not be forced to act violently and out of their character because someone wants to get a reaction out of them. One of the main reasons why Bullies do what they do is because they are lacking in their life. For example, they walk and hang out in groups (usually as a ring leader) They bully to impress, to get attention, and to make themselves feel superior. In most cases when victims of bullying try to stand up for themselves the situation more than likely turns violent than safe and a simple exchange of words.

Bullying is avoidable. The danger occurs when nothing is being done. Bullies tend to see how far they can go. They have no limits. When nothing is done this gives bullies (juice) that they can keep getting away with bullying. Parents who ignore the warning signs of bullying allow their children to be suicidal. Arguing over a lollypop is indeed petty but threating violence, constant picking, and harassment is not petty at all. Children should never be forced to act violently if they are not built to be that way. Bullying also starts in the home (intervention). It is sad to say that a lot of adults these days go out in society and exhibit bullying traits themselves an
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 13769 · Topics: 154
Posted by SteveW
Teaching your children to stand up for themselves is an intervention by parents to stop bullying. Teaching your children "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is another intervention. Parents interventions to protect their child's emotional well being, growth, and emotional security from bullies is proactive parenting and these types of interventions do not prevent their children from fighting their own battles. One of my relatives has a 17 year old daughter who has not ever been on Facebook.

Bullying isn't something that can always be resolved between the bully and the target of bullying. The target may find the acts of bullying unforgivable and may choose to not ever befriend their bully. On the other hand, the bully may never want any sort of friendship out of it but to continually pick on a target for perceived weaknesses. A show of strength is not something a bully always respects or acknowledges. Bullying may not be just one bully but may include a group or team of bullies on one target as well. Jonathan Martin is an example of a group or team of bullies that targeted him.

Why is bullying needed to teach a child to stand up for themselves? Isn't team sports a more healthy avenue for children to learn to stand up for themselves? Why must anyone even give attention to a bully?

Bullying is not needed to teach children to stand up for themselves. Bullying is inevitable. You can't prevent another to find weakness in someone and try to bring him down. We use these tactics in everything today, tearing someone up to make themselves feel better. From elementary schools to the workplace, to electoral campaigns to dxp. It's everywhere. The ones who survive are the ones who stand up to it.
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
11 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 501 · Topics: 10
Posted by SteveW
Teaching your children to stand up for themselves is an intervention by parents to stop bullying. Teaching your children "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is another intervention. Parents interventions to protect their child's emotional well being, growth, and emotional security from bullies is proactive parenting and these types of interventions do not prevent their children from fighting their own battles. One of my relatives has a 17 year old daughter who has not ever been on Facebook.

Bullying isn't something that can always be resolved between the bully and the target of bullying. The target may find the acts of bullying unforgivable and may choose to not ever befriend their bully. On the other hand, the bully may never want any sort of friendship out of it but to continually pick on a target for perceived weaknesses. A show of strength is not something a bully always respects or acknowledges. Bullying may not be just one bully but may include a group or team of bullies on one target as well. Jonathan Martin is an example of a group or team of bullies that targeted him.

Why is bullying needed to teach a child to stand up for themselves? Isn't team sports a more healthy avenue for children to learn to stand up for themselves? Why must anyone even give attention to a bully?

Here is a kid who beat his bully up (parent's advice):






Interventions are meant to help the problem. A bully will, be a bully. Bullies know what they are doing so no one needs to —LABEL?? it for them.

Onsite intervention: In the case above, where the victim beats up his bully,(that is good, he should feel very empowered right now and proud) however, it does not make what he did right.

The good: He beat up the bully
The bad: The bully got his A*** whopped and ended up INJURED.

Had an adult been on the scene this would have never happened. That is that is the point of immediate intervention.

What if he did not win this fight? What if he was Jumped? Then what? Should we now say this kid needs fighting lessons to defend himself?

In this situation HARM was done.

(Dryer Sheets, you have chosen to argue against intervention, that taking measures to minimize bullying does more harm than good. Airheads, you have been assigned the position of arguing in favor of inte
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
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(Dryer Sheets, you have chosen to argue against intervention, that taking measures to minimize bullying does more harm than good. Airheads, you have been assigned the position of arguing in favor of intervention, that taking measures to minimize bullying does more good than harm)

Anti-bullying programs encourage and empower others to not get involved in the act. It encourages them to be a part of the solution and not the problem which is bullying.

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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by SteveW
If intervention is not a solution to bullying, what is? I am interested in your thoughts on that.

When schools intervene such as college boards stepping in and putting a stop to hazing: it promotes the idea that we are not lost as a society and we have not subjucated ourselves to a pack of dogs, wolves, or some other herd of animals.

Should labels be feared? Your argument suggest that we should give into what we are labelled as and not use our free will. A bully is a bully. Allowing bullying (a form of abuse) to permeate our social culture as a norm and ignoring the social problem also gives a condoning to other forms of abuse such as domestic violence.

Psychology Today on where we have gone wrong on Bullying Intervention Programs:

Mistake #5: Not actively involving students and other school community members in intervention programs. Many schools train only their teachers in any kind of response protocol or policy renewal, however students are central in making any transformation in school culture, as are key educational support personnel including: cafeteria workers, bus drivers, front office staff, and teachers?? aides. Although community consultation is time-consuming, it is an essential first step to creating long term and sustainable change.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/gender-and-schooling/201204/bullying-intervention-programs-where-have-we-gone-wrong




The problem is not bullies. The problem is how were the bullies raised? Why are they bullies? What is it in their life that makes it ok to pick on another to hurt them as much as they hurt?

A bully wants a reaction. The more you give the bully this, the more you are fuelling it. Bullies are not smart in general. You can outsmarten a bully, laugh at their comments and show no sign of being hurt, disarming the bully essentially. All these things that can be taught to a child.
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
11 Years500+ Posts

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For Steve and the Audience(In case I confused anyone, which I am know to do). Sorry I was at work and rushing on my post today.

My comment about labeling was meant for Stillwater's comment on page 2

Still Water: "When school programs or parents intervene, this intervention actually takes away from individual empowerment and now causes stigmatization not only for the bullied but the bully as well. It labels the bullied, as "WEAK" and labels the bully as "VILLAIN". Countless, psychological studies have shown that people crumble to "LABELS" and that they become what they are LABELLED despite their potential and intentions. This is especially dangerous for children as they are in midst of creating their fragile identities that are shaped based on social interactions with their peers. "

My Response: Interventions are meant to help the problem. A bully will, be a bully. Bullies know what they are doing so no one needs to —LABEL?? it for them. (What I ment was that when people bully they create a Label for themselves because they know what they are doing. Interventions werent ment to make people crumble or label people but to help them realize the lable THEY have created and are creating for themselves and help them rise above by stopping what they are doing. Interventions are ment to promote potential not bring one down.)

Still water said this after you posted Jonathan Martin link

Posted by StillWater
In your post above, that is prevention.

Intervention is to intervene when the situation is already occurring which is what are debating about.



That is why I posted this:

"Onsite intervention: In the case above, where the victim beats up his bully,(that is good, he should feel very empowered right now and proud) however, it does not make what he did right.

The good: He beat up the bully
The bad: The bully got his A*** whopped and ended up INJURED.

Had an adult been on the scene this would have never happened. That is that is the point of immediate intervention.

What if he did not win this fight? What if he was Jumped? Then what? Should we now say this kid needs fighting lessons to defend himself?

In this situation HARM was done. "

(to support my argument that everyone looses when intervention does not occur) Eventually someone is harmed.

I hope I clarified this.
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
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Also, I would like to add in short that interventions are not only beneficial to the bullied and the bully but also beneficial for bystanders.

I notice that in the video about Jonathan Martin, The Hialeah girl that got slapped, and the old lady that got picked at on the school bus, others stood by and watched this happen. I am sure that one person knew that what was being done was wrong but was scared to say stop or report it. Intervention programs also encourage bystanders to stop standing by and take action against bullying.

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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 252 · Posts: 36418 · Topics: 473
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
Posted by GetMisted
Sorry to SW and APC for not being here. I did what I could but I needed rest. At least I participated unlike some people.



Oh look, a coward.



Oh look, a backstabber.
click to expand




Care to explain?

Because my comment about cowardice was obvious since you call me out on something after I told you I couldn't be up for this debate.

So..the second comment with backstabbing must pertain to you also. If so, don't bother explaining.
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 252 · Posts: 36418 · Topics: 473
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
"Virgo Sun, Aries Moon"

^^^Right below my avatar. You'd think you'd know how to read by now.

What's the issue, did you just move from picking on NYAA and I'm next in line?

Your life must be really boring.



Why do you have to add in personal attacks?



Seriously? Who brought me into this?



I never said your name. You assumed I was talking about you.
click to expand




Right, it was about the OTHER Romanian chick.

How fortunate of you to have 2 on the same team.
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 252 · Posts: 36418 · Topics: 473
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
Posted by GetMisted
Sorry to SW and APC for not being here. I did what I could but I needed rest. At least I participated unlike some people.



Oh look, a coward.



Oh look, a backstabber.



Care to explain?

Because my comment about cowardice was obvious since you call me out on something after I told you I couldn't be up for this debate.

So..the second comment with backstabbing must pertain to you also. If so, don't bother explaining.



Again, I never said it was you who didn't participate
click to expand




Can you get more passive aggressive?
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 252 · Posts: 36418 · Topics: 473
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Damnata
Posted by GetMisted
Sorry to SW and APC for not being here. I did what I could but I needed rest. At least I participated unlike some people.



Oh look, a coward.



Oh look, a backstabber.



Care to explain?

Because my comment about cowardice was obvious since you call me out on something after I told you I couldn't be up for this debate.

So..the second comment with backstabbing must pertain to you also. If so, don't bother explaining.



Again, I never said it was you who didn't participate



Can you get more passive aggressive?



Are there any other names you'd like to call me?
click to expand




Yeah, I can think of some more.

I'd challenge you to a battle of wits but you'd come unarmed so..I will stop here.
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
11 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 501 · Topics: 10
Posted by StoicGoat
Congratulations to the Downy Dryer Sheets for their first team win. Airheads, it's challenge time for you. Can you be here at 9PM EST tonight? If not, what works?




Judge,I am about to go into straight (Getmisted, crybaby mode)...WTF?

I am going to suck this loss up..but....

Judge how on earth did you make this decision?

this does not add up..

Who put you up to this foolishness? I am positive someone put you up to this decison.....
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 13769 · Topics: 154
Posted by aquariuslove14
Posted by StoicGoat
Congratulations to the Downy Dryer Sheets for their first team win. Airheads, it's challenge time for you. Can you be here at 9PM EST tonight? If not, what works?




Judge,I am about to go into straight (Getmisted, crybaby mode)...WTF?

I am going to suck this loss up..but....

Judge how on earth did you make this decision?

this does not add up..

Who put you up to this foolishness? I am positive someone put you up to this decison.....
click to expand





Why doesn't it add up?
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
11 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 501 · Topics: 10
Posted by StillWater
Posted by aquariuslove14
Posted by StoicGoat
Congratulations to the Downy Dryer Sheets for their first team win. Airheads, it's challenge time for you. Can you be here at 9PM EST tonight? If not, what works?




Judge,I am about to go into straight (Getmisted, crybaby mode)...WTF?

I am going to suck this loss up..but....

Judge how on earth did you make this decision?

this does not add up..

Who put you up to this foolishness? I am positive someone put you up to this decison.....



It makes me sad that you don't think we deserve this win because I think me and APC tried very hard.
😢
click to expand




LOL.


Okay I am sorry??_.you guys did a good job??_..I am very happy for you ??_ ??_.I will try not to be miserable today although I am very hurt.??_.but anyone that comes on here talking sh*** is going to have it. ??_
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aquariuslove14
@aquariuslove14
11 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 501 · Topics: 10
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by aquariuslove14
Posted by StoicGoat
Congratulations to the Downy Dryer Sheets for their first team win. Airheads, it's challenge time for you. Can you be here at 9PM EST tonight? If not, what works?




Judge,I am about to go into straight (Getmisted, crybaby mode)...WTF?

I am going to suck this loss up..but....

Judge how on earth did you make this decision?

this does not add up..

Who put you up to this foolishness? I am positive someone put you up to this decison.....




Why doesn't it add up?
click to expand




To me it just doesn't make sense...Maybe I am totally an Airhead .but for example??_(I have nothing against your argument or your views) but


Your argument was that :.the bullied should stand up for themselves??_which suggest violence

The Judge said this (Dryer Sheets, you have chosen to argue against intervention, that taking measures to minimize bullying does more harm than good. Airheads, you have been assigned the position of arguing in favor of intervention, that taking measures to minimize bullying does more good than harm.)

Violence does not minimize bullying. The Violence is what causes harm.

How you win an debate saying that violence will minimize bullying makes is nonsense.
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