Has anybody dealt with an addict or a narcissist?

My roommate of 5 years has stolen tons of food whenever he got high. And lied about it. And he has constantly criticized us, but never taken the blame but manipulated me into believing I was at fault. False accusations, pretended to be smart,

bragged, kept others down.He has been ousted 2 weeks ago. So he is guilty of many bad things he has done to us (and me). Another roommate who was super warm and friendly really suffered emotionally because of the dishonesty. I feel wronged and I want to tear him apart,

in a fearless fire sign fassion.

But another part of me wonders if addicts can be held accountable, if the addiction destroys their selfcontrol and selfefficacy.

The amount of shame, the feeling of being publicly humiliated for something he

probably couldn't help himself doing must be excruciating. I cannot spare him though, because my anger is turning into intrusive recurring thoughts.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

My mom was an addict. It really turns them into someone that they are not. It’s difficult to know what is the disease and what is the person.

Can I send you a Virtual hug? That must've been tough.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by ImperfectStorm

My mom was an addict. It really turns them into someone that they are not. It’s difficult to know what is the disease and what is the person.

Can I send you a Virtual hug? That must've been tough.

Aww thank you ❤️ It wasn’t too bad. She was never violent it was just difficult to see her not care for herself. There were times she passed out in the bathtub, passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand.. another time she passed out at the wheel and ran into a telephone pole and was in a coma for a couple weeks and broke both femurs and one hip.

She passed away in 2009.. she did steal from me once but that was the least of my worries... I had my wisdom teeth cut out so I was put on Vicodin and she put it in her purse. She never stole money though, but I had her living with me for a while. She lost everything before she passed (her house, etc). Addiction is a very ugly disease. Empathy and forgiveness goes a long way though.. I have forgiven her she did the best she could. ❤️ She lost her mom when she was only 17.

click to expand

Oh man that is heartbreaking.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by ImperfectStorm

My mom was an addict. It really turns them into someone that they are not. It’s difficult to know what is the disease and what is the person.

Can I send you a Virtual hug? That must've been tough.

Aww thank you ❤️ It wasn’t too bad. She was never violent it was just difficult to see her not care for herself. There were times she passed out in the bathtub, passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand.. another time she passed out at the wheel and ran into a telephone pole and was in a coma for a couple weeks and broke both femurs and one hip.

She passed away in 2009.. she did steal from me once but that was the least of my worries... I had my wisdom teeth cut out so I was put on Vicodin and she put it in her purse. She never stole money though, but I had her living with me for a while. She lost everything before she passed (her house, etc). Addiction is a very ugly disease. Empathy and forgiveness goes a long way though.. I have forgiven her she did the best she could. ❤️ She lost her mom when she was only 17.

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Oh man that is heartbreaking.

I was seeing a guy who was addicted to weed

He never seemed emotionally present....

I know for a fact narcissists are impossible to live with.

If he's an addict, his problems are far higher than being "publicly humiliated". He might not even register the "humiliation".

What if he's starving, and needs to sort himself out before he could afford to buy food?

Posted by Cocosugar

I know for a fact narcissists are impossible to live with.

Absolutely, getting him to admit wrongdoing was like pulling teeth. And now I can't fault him because he was enslaved by disease. Prick wins.

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by Cocosugar

I know for a fact narcissists are impossible to live with.

Absolutely, getting him to admit wrongdoing was like pulling teeth. And now I can't fault him because he was enslaved by disease. Prick wins.

click to expand

I don’t know if my father is also a psychopath on top of being a narcissist but I’d rather die than get back in contact with him tbh. They’re insanely toxic.

Posted by Undine

If he's an addict, his problems are far higher than being "publicly humiliated". He might not even register the "humiliation".

What if he's starving, and needs to sort himself out before he could afford to buy food?

Holy fuck. He has a job, but I have Seen a letter by a debt collection Agency.

Posted by Wizardz_

Whatever you do won't make any difference for him but if you want to serve as a deterrent for doing it again then go for it and unleash your anger and then next time he will prob find some way else to get what he wants/needs. Just don't assume that your actions will change his addiction in some way because they usually won't but you can affect his behaviour towards you

He moves out in april. He is definetly visibly distraught. Whatever that means.

Posted by Cocosugar

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by Cocosugar

I know for a fact narcissists are impossible to live with.

Absolutely, getting him to admit wrongdoing was like pulling teeth. And now I can't fault him because he was enslaved by disease. Prick wins.

I don’t know if my father is also a psychopath on top of being a narcissist but I’d rather die than get back in contact with him tbh. They’re insanely toxic.

click to expand

And so merciless and capable of cruelty.

My ex Leo was an addict and controlling.

He has a family now and I hope he finds peace for the sake of his kids.

His spirals are legendary.

You ever seen a loved one hogtied by cops.

It’s like a movie.

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by Cocosugar

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by Cocosugar

I know for a fact narcissists are impossible to live with.

Absolutely, getting him to admit wrongdoing was like pulling teeth. And now I can't fault him because he was enslaved by disease. Prick wins.

I don’t know if my father is also a psychopath on top of being a narcissist but I’d rather die than get back in contact with him tbh. They’re insanely toxic.

And so merciless and capable of cruelty.

click to expand

It’s like they have no shame, destroying everything and everyone and deceiving people that somehow they’re the victim in the situation.

Posted by Bumboklaat

What's the drug he's using?

To this day, I think cocaine.

Posted by Parkourler

My roommate of 5 years has stolen tons of food whenever he got high. And lied about it. And he has constantly criticized us, but never taken the blame but manipulated me into believing I was at fault. False accusations, pretended to be smart,

bragged, kept others down.He has been ousted 2 weeks ago. So he is guilty of many bad things he has done to us (and me). Another roommate who was super warm and friendly really suffered emotionally because of the dishonesty. I feel wronged and I want to tear him apart,

in a fearless fire sign fassion.

But another part of me wonders if addicts can be held accountable, if the addiction destroys their selfcontrol and selfefficacy.

The amount of shame, the feeling of being publicly humiliated for something he

probably couldn't help himself doing must be excruciating. I cannot spare him though, because my anger is turning into intrusive recurring thoughts.

They will never learn if there aren’t repercussions of some kind. Even a firm loving tongue lashing can help. But do not let them not take responsibility for their choices. That is what is going to help them in the long run. The longer you enable, the worse off they will be. Time for some tough love and firm boundaries. 🤷‍♀️ Grow up. Everyone has to at some point and take responsibility for themselves. Or they don’t and they can go on with it because I don’t need that shit in my life. You can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves.

I acted like a completely different person but it was still my decision when it came down to it to use or not. Yes it’s hard to quit, but it’s not impossible. It all comes down to choices and motivations. And doing the internal work to fix what caused you to seek it out in the first place. I’ve never known an addict who just wanted to be an addict! They just didn’t know how to cope and that’s how they learned. But as an adult it comes time that we take responsibility and stop blaming our parents and other people for our decisions.

-addict, not using for many years

Posted by DMV

My ex Leo was an addict and controlling.

He has a family now and I hope he finds peace for the sake of his kids.

His spirals are legendary.

You ever seen a loved one hogtied by cops.

It’s like a movie.

Leo addicts man lol you ain’t kidding! I seen an older lion gets stuck by his waist over his backyard fence trying to evade the fire fighters who came…. Priceless watching him.

Posted by Bumboklaat

Posted by DMV

Posted by Bumboklaat

What's the drug he's using?

To this day, I think cocaine.

Narcissists love cocaine or at least they display narcisstic traits on coke

Uppers usually make people assholes in general cause their patience disappears and emotions are numbed to a certain extent. Meth will make people kleptomaniacs and aggressive. Coke can have similar effects if taken on binges

And the withdrawals are the worst. Probably best to have that happen in a hospital

click to expand

Meth is the devil. You have to have serious resolve to quit it too.

Hi,



He smokes cannabis

So here is what happened today.

I told him that chris (the guy who moved out) would've been less miserable had he not lied and stolen food so often. He replied

"I wouldnt know" , me "I think you do and I am beginning to put two and two together". He took a walk outside and ordered food so he doesn't have to go to the kitchen I suppose. I felt sorry for him, because addictions crush your willpower. I just told the other roommate. She said he could've replaced the food and buy food in advance. Instead he lied and stole. He will move out in april so he is gone in a month.

THANK GOD.

Do I tell him what bothers me or do I feel sorry for him. He does suffer. He is nervous around me, he never comes out. If addicts are not remorseful I don't know what that behavior means. I am icy and I do give him the silent treatment. I bottle things up but then I have angry daydreams. I would say something to him on a daily basis this month if i want to let everything out.

Also I am so grateful for anybody who shares and hears me out. I am realy distraught, gence the wall ofbtext. . I will count the days until he leaves. I will probably go to the library just to be less at home.

Watch Netflix’s “worst roommate ever” and count your blessings that theft of food is all you are dealing with. And in less than 30 days he will no longer be your issue!

Posted by Parkourler

Hi,



He smokes cannabis

So here is what happened today.

I told him that chris (the guy who moved out) would've been less miserable had he not lied and stolen food so often. He replied

"I wouldnt know" , me "I think you do and I am beginning to put two and two together". He took a walk outside and ordered food so he doesn't have to go to the kitchen I suppose. I felt sorry for him, because addictions crush your willpower. I just told the other roommate. She said he could've replaced the food and buy food in advance. Instead he lied and stole. He will move out in april so he is gone in a month.

THANK GOD.

Do I tell him what bothers me or do I feel sorry for him. He does suffer. He is nervous around me, he never comes out. If addicts are not remorseful I don't know what that behavior means. I am icy and I do give him the silent treatment. I bottle things up but then I have angry daydreams. I would say something to him on a daily basis this month if i want to let everything out.

Also I am so grateful for anybody who shares and hears me out. I am realy distraught, gence the wall ofbtext. . I will count the days until he leaves. I will probably go to the library just to be less at home.

I don’t think there isn’t any reason why you wouldn’t feel both ways. It’s only natural in such a dynamic, feeling all sorts of ways about it. It’s about having tact when you do express yourself. Coming from a good place of love and understanding but not compromising on your own core beliefs.

I can say that when I was in my addiction I didn’t come out of the room bc of 1. Shame, I knew what I was doing wasn’t acceptable. It made things easier on me not to have to face people. You can’t control how others see you though, try as you may. I’m a lot better now that I don’t feel I have to hide myself away. I do smoke cannabis myself but I wouldn’t consider myself addicted, even though I’ve known a few cases of that. I definitely don’t let my pasttime affect my roommates. I have the utmost respect for the people helping me pay my bills, particularly if we get along!!! If someone is that careless while smoking cannabis, they have some sort of problem that’s for sure.

And I wouldn’t do anything further since he’s moving out. No longer your problem. It’s an unfortunate truth.

I could tell you many horror stories about renting with/from psychos and even just bat shit crazy neighbors.

Ime it would be best to grin and bare it. Releasing your anger on him may backfire.

Is a brief moment of emotional relief worth the risk of him turning violent or destructive? Especially when he is on his way out already? Probably not.

Comfort yourself with the obvious truth that when he leaves your time of dealing with this fuckery ends. While he carries his destructive behavior with him wherever he goes.

Posted by bmoon8

Room mates SUCK. They.all.do!!!!!!

Here is the solution:

Live alone.

My roommate Lisa is amazing. Having said that, I’ve been through some doozies before her lol

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by Parkourler

My roommate of 5 years has stolen tons of food whenever he got high. And lied about it. And he has constantly criticized us, but never taken the blame but manipulated me into believing I was at fault. False accusations, pretended to be smart,

bragged, kept others down.He has been ousted 2 weeks ago. So he is guilty of many bad things he has done to us (and me). Another roommate who was super warm and friendly really suffered emotionally because of the dishonesty. I feel wronged and I want to tear him apart,

in a fearless fire sign fassion.

But another part of me wonders if addicts can be held accountable, if the addiction destroys their selfcontrol and selfefficacy.

The amount of shame, the feeling of being publicly humiliated for something he

probably couldn't help himself doing must be excruciating. I cannot spare him though, because my anger is turning into intrusive recurring thoughts.

They will never learn if there aren’t repercussions of some kind. Even a firm loving tongue lashing can help. But do not let them not take responsibility for their choices. That is what is going to help them in the long run. The longer you enable, the worse off they will be. Time for some tough love and firm boundaries. 🤷‍♀️ Grow up. Everyone has to at some point and take responsibility for themselves. Or they don’t and they can go on with it because I don’t need that shit in my life. You can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves.

I acted like a completely different person but it was still my decision when it came down to it to use or not. Yes it’s hard to quit, but it’s not impossible. It all comes down to choices and motivations. And doing the internal work to fix what caused you to seek it out in the first place. I’ve never known an addict who just wanted to be an addict! They just didn’t know how to cope and that’s how they learned. But as an adult it comes time that we take responsibility and stop blaming our parents and other people for our decisions.

-addict, not using for many years

click to expand

So he moves out in a month it feel like settling the score because of that. But I Gotta I am raging inside

My sister was an addict and suffered from PTSD. It was eventually what killed her. In the end she was not the same person she had been in the past and a lot of her "friends" abandoned her towards the end probably because they could not handle her behavior or were embarrassed by her.

She wasn't a narcissist tho but you really couldn't talk to her about her behavior with out her getting defensive about everything.