stillstillwater
@stillstillwater
8 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 3657 · Posts: 5507 · Topics: 76
How to Make Friends & Influence People
Posted by stillstillwaterUgh, that book sounds awful 😝
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
Friendships happen. Probably least often when you go out searching them intentionally following a guide from a book written by some deadbeat who had too much time thinking about "friendships" in his ivory tower.
You influence people through either good actions that inspire them or getting leverage over them.
You influence people through either good actions that inspire them or getting leverage over them.
You don't want to be fake. Actually charismatic people have manipulative powers. But no one likes a manipulator, which is why good charismatic people tend to be genuine. They say things, then follow up with actions that prove they aren't all talk. There is a dark side too though. These type of people are like cult leaders. They tend to tap into people's emotions, and gain control of loyal followers due to it.
No matter which your personality fits, the best thing is to never be fake. Follow up your words with actions, and be the thing people need in their lives. Just don't say it, do it. Making lots of friends that don't gang up against you in the end because they realize you are fake requires lots of mental tapping into the minds of those you speak to. You actually have to listen to them. Then relate to them. If you can't, then find the type of people you can. That's really what it's all about. You don't have to be friends with 100% of everyone, just the type of people who are like you. You will have a cult.....I mean a close circle of friends in no time
🙂
No matter which your personality fits, the best thing is to never be fake. Follow up your words with actions, and be the thing people need in their lives. Just don't say it, do it. Making lots of friends that don't gang up against you in the end because they realize you are fake requires lots of mental tapping into the minds of those you speak to. You actually have to listen to them. Then relate to them. If you can't, then find the type of people you can. That's really what it's all about. You don't have to be friends with 100% of everyone, just the type of people who are like you. You will have a cult.....I mean a close circle of friends in no time
🙂
Posted by Yodicomo? lied about what? what's going on ? am I in a different dimension?Posted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
You need a book for this? Aren't you a natural liar anyways?
Are you sure that book wasn't written by a capricorn woman?click to expand
Posted by Moonbutteryeah it is. It's just supposed to be about better problem solving and conflict resolution. I agree with some of it's points like not to criticize people too much and find common ground. But some things are too exhausting like constantly trying to think about the other person and their ego.Posted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
Ugh, that book sounds awful 😝click to expand
Posted by Mr_PinchyWell it's not about making friends in the common sense of "true friendship" but more like being friends with business partners and people you HAVE to deal with like clients, bosses, colleagues etc. And how to not be abrasive.
Friendships happen. Probably least often when you go out searching them intentionally following a guide from a book written by some deadbeat who had too much time thinking about "friendships" in his ivory tower.
You influence people through either good actions that inspire them or getting leverage over them.
Posted by Mr_PinchyWell it's not about making friends in the common sense of "true friendship" but more like being friends with business partners and people you HAVE to deal with like clients, bosses, colleagues etc. And how to not be abrasive.
Friendships happen. Probably least often when you go out searching them intentionally following a guide from a book written by some deadbeat who had too much time thinking about "friendships" in his ivory tower.
You influence people through either good actions that inspire them or getting leverage over them.
Posted by SoulYes the book did say to find something genuine and not be fake about it. It has some really good points on becoming a more positive person. I just found it about exhausting to always keep that in mind but once again I took the book more for business relations than those i'd want to be friends with leisurely.
You don't want to be fake. Actually charismatic people have manipulative powers. But no one likes a manipulator, which is why good charismatic people tend to be genuine. They say things, then follow up with actions that prove they aren't all talk. There is a dark side too though. These type of people are like cult leaders. They tend to tap into people's emotions, and gain control of loyal followers due to it.
No matter which your personality fits, the best thing is to never be fake. Follow up your words with actions, and be the thing people need in their lives. Just don't say it, do it. Making lots of friends that don't gang up against you in the end because they realize you are fake requires lots of mental tapping into the minds of those you speak to. You actually have to listen to them. Then relate to them. If you can't, then find the type of people you can. That's really what it's all about. You don't have to be friends with 100% of everyone, just the type of people who are like you. You will have a cult.....I mean a close circle of friends in no time
Posted by BondGirl007True.
I read the book. I think it just depends on how you take it. Its more aboot using proper wording to influence someone’s reaction or perception of what you say. Like instead of using “I” which appears to be very domineering and areogant, you can use the word “we” which means being more open to other people’s input and involvement. I dont think its about being fake. In a business sense, you can never be too honest anyway. But you dont have to be fake. Its important to know which line you are threading to make sure you get the best value of anything: wether it be the appreciation of your boss or colleagues, the trust and committment of your clients, etc.
is called diplomacy, is always fascinating to see that people need to read that book to do something that is so natural to me.
my mom did read it and boy she takes it to heart, is so annoying when she's more "polite" with me, she was bossy all my youth, also, I'm not good to be influenced 😅 is going to back fire.
my mom did read it and boy she takes it to heart, is so annoying when she's more "polite" with me, she was bossy all my youth, also, I'm not good to be influenced 😅 is going to back fire.
Posted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
Yeah but doesn't giving your opinion out just feeding your own ego.
Posted by AstrobynABsolutely but what the book teaches is that one's own ego is more important than anything else. So that's true for everyone including you and I. To rise above it is to consider other people's.Posted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
Yeah but doesn't giving your opinion out just feeding your own ego.click to expand
Posted by stillstillwaterPosted by AstrobynPosted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
Yeah but doesn't giving your opinion out just feeding your own ego.
ABsolutely but what the book teaches is that one's own ego is more important than anything else. So that's true for everyone including you and I. To rise above it is to consider other people's.click to expand
Thats cool, I haven't read the book, No new friends!
Posted by Astrobynlol! Yep, i feel you. I was reading up on it to help with on dealing with people in general rather than making friends. Such as dealing with colleagues and acquaintances.Posted by stillstillwaterPosted by AstrobynPosted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
Yeah but doesn't giving your opinion out just feeding your own ego.
ABsolutely but what the book teaches is that one's own ego is more important than anything else. So that's true for everyone including you and I. To rise above it is to consider other people's.
Thats cool, I haven't read the book, No new friends!click to expand
It's helpful in understanding human nature in general though.
Posted by Endlesslol i'm a self-improvement junkie so I'll always be reading these type of books.
is called diplomacy, is always fascinating to see that people need to read that book to do something that is so natural to me.
my mom did read it and boy she takes it to heart, is so annoying when she's more "polite" with me, she was bossy all my youth, also, I'm not good to be influenced 😅 is going to back fire.
hehe give your mamadukes a break... it's better to be polite to.
Posted by Sagittaire_
It helped me tremendously in my career. And it also has helped me in business and my now side income..
It also has helped in you know.. cutting the line.. getting help.. sniffing around... getting lower price, etc..
But i dont use it for friendship lol..
What lessons from the book did you utilize in your career/business?
I'm in Chapter 4: Leadership.
Posted by YodiPosted by stillstillwaterPosted by YodiPosted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
You need a book for this? Aren't you a natural liar anyways?
Are you sure that book wasn't written by a capricorn woman?
como? lied about what? what's going on ? am I in a different dimension?
I heard you been spreading rumors about me in DMclick to expand
Are you dumb? I'm only going to respond to this because you need to check people's intentions on here because it's flat out not true.
You're the 2nd person in the past 4 years to come at me like this and both times I'm blindsided because I don't know where it's coming from or why. I'm a little flattered that somebody is that interested in my minuscule dxp participation to want to spread rumors about me. Interesting. But why would you jeopardize us being cool without trying to figure out what's the truth?
If you do want to get to the bottom of it let me know. I want to be cordial and be like let's work together to figure it out but blatantly ....
At this point I'm just turned off and you can please back the fuck up and fuck off.
Posted by User_Name
That book was published in 1936. People were like that back then. It's not necessarily that they were fake. Imo, I think they were just friendlier in general. People weren't divided then like they are now. They added a little more flattery than people tend to these days, but I don't think that most people ever intended to be fake.
They were just better people.
Do you really think generations since then have gotten worse? Perhaps. I mean hardly anyone says please and thank you.
Those words do matter.
Posted by stillstillwaterPosted by YodiPosted by stillstillwaterPosted by YodiPosted by stillstillwater
is making me just be a liar and constantly feed people's egos.
I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?
You need a book for this? Aren't you a natural liar anyways?
Are you sure that book wasn't written by a capricorn woman?
como? lied about what? what's going on ? am I in a different dimension?
I heard you been spreading rumors about me in DM
Are you dumb? I'm only going to respond to this because you need to check people's intentions on here because it's flat out not true.
You're the 2nd person in the past 4 years to come at me like this and both times I'm blindsided because I don't know where it's coming from or why. I'm a little flattered that somebody is that interested in my minuscule dxp participation to want to spread rumors about me. Interesting. But why would you jeopardize us being cool without trying to figure out what's the truth?
If you do want to get to the bottom of it let me know. I want to be cordial and be like let's work together to figure it out but blatantly ....
At this point I'm just turned off and you can please back the treetrunk up and treetrunk off.click to expand
That's right gurl! Let my b!!tch azz have it 😅😤
I'm sorry love 😢 I haven't been myself for the past few days. Give me hug \(^-^)/ disregard all that negative sh!!t I said in this topic
❤❤
Most of the stuff in the book is common sense, but it's a good reminder anyway.
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I guess i can modify my responses to more generic ones like instead of saying "that's ugly..." I can say something like, "I can see why you made that choice." Anyone read that book and any thoughts? Did it help you in your life?