@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius
Sex Shaming
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DMV....I just read that exact article an hour ago and feel the same way you do. I also agree with one of the psychologist on there who said the reason for frowning upon/shaming "casual sex or premarital sex" is because of the overall societal consensus that it is considered 'rule-breaking behavior' and since we're overall a monogamous society, it is unacceptable behavior.
But why do we care? DeFife says "that casual sex can actually spark a deep-seated fear in people that the rules of society will break down. Sexual shaming is usually about some sort of fear and concern about powerlessness. Because sexuality is fluid and impressionable, there is a worry that it will catch on and get —out of control.?? The panic that it can ignite in people is ultimately an attempt to regain control over the status quo." My sentiments exactly, hence why I feel some attach too much value to "sex". However, I have a habit of bucking the system and not allowing society to dictate to me or define me as a "woman" with my own self values and/or morals, and not ones placed on me by some overall group....just my rebel nature.
"... aid the reason for frowning upon/shaming "casual sex or premarital sex" is because of the overall societal consensus that it is considered 'rule-breaking behavior' and since we're overall a monogamous society, it is unacceptable behavior.
But why do we care?
DeFife says "that casual sex can actually spark a deep-seated fear in people that the rules of society will break down. Sexual shaming is usually about some sort of fear and concern about powerlessness. Because sexuality is fluid and impressionable, there is a worry that it will catch on and get —out of control.?? The panic that it can ignite in people is ultimately an attempt to regain control over the status quo."
Much ado about nothing... no offense intended.
But who shames pre-marital sex, anymore?
This feels like an article to ensure the status quo, lest anyone
get their wits about them.
I'm tired of it, too. I also get pretty annoyed when I see "if you wear this, I'm calling you a slut" or "if you sleep with x amount of men, you're dirty" memes. Social media sites are rampant with sex/slut shamers.
It's very sad when a woman has to put down another woman to make herself feel worthy of a man's love.
That's all it is. When a woman feels threatened by another woman's sexual history, she goes out of her way to demean that woman, as if to say "Hey, look at this girl! She's slept with more than two guys in her lifetime so she's dirty! I'm so much better than her. Come look at me, I'm holy, not holey!"
im tired of people feeling the need to get into other people's business and judging instead of minding their own affairs. it makes no sense. they are miserable because they dont feel liberated or dont know how to run their own lives, so they want to bring others down to their level. jealousy. plain jealousy.
Double standards at their finest.
Posted by AriesIntrovert16
I'm tired of it, too. I also get pretty annoyed when I see "if you wear this, I'm calling you a slut" or "if you sleep with x amount of men, you're dirty" memes. Social media sites are rampant with sex/slut shamers.It's very sad when a woman has to put down another woman to make herself feel worthy of a man's love.
That's all it is. When a woman feels threatened by another woman's sexual history, she goes out of her way to demean that woman, as if to say "Hey, look at this girl! She's slept with more than two guys in her lifetime so she's dirty! I'm so much better than her. Come look at me, I'm holy, not holey!"
exactly. Very rarely do I see a man break a woman down like a woman breaks another woman down. Just downright nasty. Said girl has no interest in dating a woman so why is another woman all up in her grill about who shes sleeping with? Women create words to demean each other. Why!
Could it be that the shamer secretly wants the other life but is scared of breaking the rules?
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Double standards at their finest.
Agreed... and I'll stop there.
click to expand
no one shamed the men who the lady slept with. No called them names and publicly ridiculed them.
Posted by starlover
I am tired of men doing it when they have been doing casual sex since time began ~ huge archaic double standard.My mother used to say *only bad girls have sex before marriage* haha, can you believe that? Of course my sister and i were at it as soon we could manage, i was only 15 or just 16 maybe?
Two of my close friends have slept with 200 and 250 men respectively. Although it isn't something i could do, i love to hear their stories. One of them said one night when were having dinner together that i was *very pure and not jaded* followed by *i have slept with more men in a week than you have in your life* 😛
Ram, why do you think it is like that in Singapore? I am from the UK....totally in tune with my body and what it is doing
:-))
alot of women dont know their own bodies. Theyve been shamed into not learning about themselves, not exploring.
Some people are selective about who they sleep with and some aren't. Why cant we leave it at that. Why go a step further and tell a woman shes dirty, has no self worth?
There's no such thing as casual sex.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
There's no such thing as casual sex.
That's it right there.
Posted by DMV
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Double standards at their finest.
Agreed... and I'll stop there.
no one shamed the men who the lady slept with. No called them names and publicly ridiculed them.
click to expand
Men get shamed for more often, just for different things.
Most would probably trade spots with women in a NY second.
Posted by starlover
I am tired of men doing it when they have been doing casual sex since time began ~ huge archaic double standard.My mother used to say *only bad girls have sex before marriage* haha, can you believe that? Of course my sister and i were at it as soon we could manage, i was only 15 or just 16 maybe?
Two of my close friends have slept with 200 and 250 men respectively. Although it isn't something i could do, i love to hear their stories. One of them said one night when were having dinner together that i was *very pure and not jaded* followed by *i have slept with more men in a week than you have in your life* 😛
Ram, why do you think it is like that in Singapore? I am from the UK....totally in tune with my body and what it is doing
:-))
If two women were ever going to be called sluts, you're buddies fit the bill -- and rightfully so.
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by beautifulsoul74
There's no such thing as casual sex.
That's it right there.
click to expand
Bingo 🙂
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by starlover
I am tired of men doing it when they have been doing casual sex since time began ~ huge archaic double standard.My mother used to say *only bad girls have sex before marriage* haha, can you believe that? Of course my sister and i were at it as soon we could manage, i was only 15 or just 16 maybe?
Two of my close friends have slept with 200 and 250 men respectively. Although it isn't something i could do, i love to hear their stories. One of them said one night when were having dinner together that i was *very pure and not jaded* followed by *i have slept with more men in a week than you have in your life* 😛
Ram, why do you think it is like that in Singapore? I am from the UK....totally in tune with my body and what it is doing
:-))
If two women were ever going to be called sluts, you're buddies fit the bill -- and rightfully so.
click to expand
see that right there. Why do you feel the need to put someone down?
If im serious about someone, I have tunnel vision. If im not, I dont.
I agree, homegirl shoulda owned it. Someone probably told her repent b4 theres more trouble.
Causal sex just seems so taboo lately. But transgender, sure order up!
Posted by DMV
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by starlover
I am tired of men doing it when they have been doing casual sex since time began ~ huge archaic double standard.My mother used to say *only bad girls have sex before marriage* haha, can you believe that? Of course my sister and i were at it as soon we could manage, i was only 15 or just 16 maybe?
Two of my close friends have slept with 200 and 250 men respectively. Although it isn't something i could do, i love to hear their stories. One of them said one night when were having dinner together that i was *very pure and not jaded* followed by *i have slept with more men in a week than you have in your life* 😛
Ram, why do you think it is like that in Singapore? I am from the UK....totally in tune with my body and what it is doing
:-))
If two women were ever going to be called sluts, you're buddies fit the bill -- and rightfully so.
see that right there. Why do you feel the need to put someone down?
click to expand
250 different cocks.........
That requires some shaming IMO.
My point....
Be a proud slut and STFU
.....and Hi CT! 😉
Lmao at how this has turned out!
I have had some serious relationships but when I've dealt with the emotional damage I have been known to go out on a rampage! Not looking for love just physical release.
Yes I've been a slutty slut! I'm quite open and honest about it, does anyones opinions irl or on the net cause me less sleep at night NO!
It's my life and my choices and they can't be undone so anyones opinion isn't going to change what has already happened or make me think differently about it.
I have no regrets!
Posted by MadMarchRam
Lmao at how this has turned out!I have had some serious relationships but when I've dealt with the emotional damage I have been known to go out on a rampage! Not looking for love just physical release.
Yes I've been a slutty slut! I'm quite open and honest about it, does anyones opinions irl or on the net cause me less sleep at night NO!
It's my life and my choices and they can't be undone so anyones opinion isn't going to change what has already happened or make me think differently about it.
I have no regrets!
I can respect that.
Honesty, and self awareness --- novel concept.
Posted by Rabbit
I grew up during the height of the AIDS crisis in the US.I've also seen how unplanned pregnancies can derail the best laid life plans and how the children resulting from those pregnancies can have their lives wrecked by the less responsible DNA donors.
So while I support a person's right to do whatever they want with whomever they want, I don't believe casual sex is a great idea. Regardless of how careful two people are, there are very real and very serious consequences to sex.
So while I won't think a person is less of a person or not a "good" person because of their sexual history, that doesn't mean I wouldn't consider that history when determining if they were a good fit for me.
Your experience may vary.
Was going to include those ^^^^ facts too, but in a reckless society and people content & walking around happily with STD's like luggage, I figured it was a mute point....and yes, children by some of these irresponsible folks are considered nothing but luggage and an inconvenience and suffer greatly as a result.
But hey Rabbit... thanks for bringing some additional logic and key thoughts in that will likely also be defended with great effort by those who are PROUD to screw at "hello." Maybe someone will catch on...or maybe not.
Posted by starloverSadly, you will always have some male who has done the same thing themselves name calling you for it
Crazy i know!
smh
Key word^^^^^^^MALE
Women who CHOOSE to try and be a MALE eventually realize they can't resulting in responses like this. Don't like it?
get an ~addadicktome~ and lose your tits.
lol...😄
Posted by GobshiteIn a nutshell, stop throwing stones in glass houses.
That's right...save the stone tossing for the women who choose the slut route and think they have a right to complain about their choices while attempting to blame the men. 😉
width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ixCrLAgk4YI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>
Posted by starlover
Two of my close friends have slept with 200 and 250 men respectively. Although it isn't something i could do, i love to hear their stories.
lol, I've noticed that about you Scorpio women here on DXP, especially when DMV starts in on some adventure of hers.
Posted by Wynter
width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ixCrLAgk4YI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>
Holy Shit. Is this real music?
Posted by Rabbit
I grew up during the height of the AIDS crisis in the US.I've also seen how unplanned pregnancies can derail the best laid life plans and how the children resulting from those pregnancies can have their lives wrecked by the less responsible DNA donors.
So while I support a person's right to do whatever they want with whomever they want, I don't believe casual sex is a great idea. Regardless of how careful two people are, there are very real and very serious consequences to sex.
So while I won't think a person is less of a person or not a "good" person because of their sexual history, that doesn't mean I wouldn't consider that history when determining if they were a good fit for me.
Your experience may vary.
cant unplanned pregnancies still happen in a committed relationship?
My point is not the casual sex but more so why we shame people and degrade them for having it.
Posted by starlover
Posted by MadMarchRam
Lmao at how this has turned out!I have had some serious relationships but when I've dealt with the emotional damage I have been known to go out on a rampage! Not looking for love just physical release.
Yes I've been a slutty slut! I'm quite open and honest about it, does anyones opinions irl or on the net cause me less sleep at night NO!
It's my life and my choices and they can't be undone so anyones opinion isn't going to change what has already happened or make me think differently about it.
I have no regrets!
No regrets is good
Sadly, you will always have some male who has done the same thing themselves name calling you for it
Crazy i know!
smh
click to expand
I
un huh
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by DMV
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Double standards at their finest.
Agreed... and I'll stop there.
no one shamed the men who the lady slept with. No called them names and publicly ridiculed them.
No, this is all about the hypocrisy and cattiness between women.
One gender shaming another gender, for whatever reason, has nothing to do with my last post.
You can get defensive, if you really must, but jumping to conclusions isn't very productive.
Going back to your point, charity begins at home. If most women stopped being catty and two-faced with one another, maybe there'd be an improvement both in gender attitudes and inequalities. Even if this wasn't the case, at least women's unity would be far more positive and influential in modern society.
In a nutshell, stop throwing stones in glass houses.
click to expand
face palm, I was agreeing with you. Blame my mercury in scorp, i communicate better with telepathy.
Posted by LetltB
Posted by GobshiteIn a nutshell, stop throwing stones in glass houses.
That's right...save the stone tossing for the women who choose the slut route and think they have a right to complain about their choices while attempting to blame the men. 😉
click to expand
why do you refernce it as the slut route? Why are you calling her a slut? A weaker woman hearing that is damaging to her self esteem. I see these mems where woman are supposed to be enpowering each other. Are you enpowering her by tearing her down?
or is it just for fun?
it is sad to see a woman come in here and poster after poster riducle her. It hurts me to the core because ive been targeted on DXP repeatedly and been called names repeatedly. Im a much stronger womam so I can deal, but its shocking.
Guys, the question is why do we jump down womans throat. GOSH answered, whereas the rest of you are talking about unplanned pregnancies, casual sex, etc. Those can be your reasons for not having casual sex, but is that a good enough reason to call a woman a slut or whore?
Posted by capricornmoon
But as women, we need to be discreet with it., why do that on national t.v? Get his number and bang him later when the cameras ain't rolling. We can't cry slut shaming yet do everything in public that's perceived as slutty behavior. Keep your intimate and dating life private until you get married so the holier than thou freaks won't have anything to condemn you with.
I can get with that its taboo.
Posted by Rabbit
Posted by DMV
Posted by Rabbit
I grew up during the height of the AIDS crisis in the US.I've also seen how unplanned pregnancies can derail the best laid life plans and how the children resulting from those pregnancies can have their lives wrecked by the less responsible DNA donors.
So while I support a person's right to do whatever they want with whomever they want, I don't believe casual sex is a great idea. Regardless of how careful two people are, there are very real and very serious consequences to sex.
So while I won't think a person is less of a person or not a "good" person because of their sexual history, that doesn't mean I wouldn't consider that history when determining if they were a good fit for me.
Your experience may vary.
cant unplanned pregnancies still happen in a committed relationship?
My point is not the casual sex but more so why we shame people and degrade them for having it.
Indeed they can. And if one partner is getting around on the side, so can STDs.
In general though (certainly not always) committed couples are better equipped to handle a child, whether emotionally or financially.
It's men/women who don't have a support system of some sort that often end up struggling with a child.
click to expand
im fine with your reasons for not having casual sex, but is that a good enough reason to call woman degrading names and publicy embaress them.
im not saying you do this.
Posted by starlover
....rabbit doesnt but there are a few guys here that call women names for doing what men have been doing for years and not being criticised for itMaybe they lack intelligence.....red neck or culchie type males, but even so ............
What is hard to understand that men do not want women that act like men?
It's a turn off for the 5,369th time.
Posted by DMV
face palm, I was agreeing with you. Blame my mercury in scorp, i communicate better with telepathy.
LulzMAO 😄 aww!
Posted by Rabbit
I hope that makes sense.It would be my preference to not date her.
But it would not influence my idea of her value as a person.
It makes perfect sense.
Your standards are higher than to try to turn a hoe into a housewife.
I agree.
Posted by Rabbit
Posted by DMV
Guys, the question is why do we jump down womans throat. GOSH answered, whereas the rest of you are talking about unplanned pregnancies, casual sex, etc. Those can be your reasons for not having casual sex, but is that a good enough reason to call a woman a slut or whore?
No. I wouldn't call her a slut or whore.
Nor would I consider her one.
She would NOT be "my cup of tea" however.
click to expand
Posted by Rabbit
It could also be that people who slut shame are insecure.I can see other women lashing out because they wonder what she has that they don't and the men feeling insecure about how they "measure up" to all the other men she's been with.
this is interesting from a male perspective
Posted by DMV why do you refernce it as the slut route? Why are you calling her a slut? A weaker woman hearing that is damaging to her self esteem. I see these mems where woman are supposed to be enpowering each other. Are you enpowering her by tearing her down?or is it just for fun?
it is sad to see a woman come in here and poster after poster riducle her. It hurts me to the core because ive been targeted on DXP repeatedly and been called names repeatedly. Im a much stronger womam so I can deal, but its shocking.
Where did "sex shaming" come from? Is that the new socially acceptable term for slut? FYI definition of "Slut" from 3 different online dictionaries..
slut
/sl??t/ noun
a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
TOP DEFINITION slut
a woman with the morals of a man
slut A person considered to be sexually promiscuous
So to answer your second question "Why are you calling her a slut" ....it's what a slut is or the the "slut route" as you put it.
Regarding a woman's self esteem, if she's proud to be a slut, please tell me how it's damaging? ...and HOW is that tearing her down? I'm not ridiculing anyone...I stated and have stated TO EACH HER OWN. Am I suppose to wave a flag or march in a parade or something?
Posted by beautifuldiaster
Posted by Rabbit
It could also be that people who slut shame are insecure.I can see other women lashing out because they wonder what she has that they don't and the men feeling insecure about how they "measure up" to all the other men she's been with.
At the end of the day, what another person does is not your business unless you are their friend/SO/family etc... and even then - it is still their life.
No need to shame.
Says more about the person shaming then it does the person of topic.
Actions will speak for themselves.
click to expand
Where's the shame here? If she's proud to be a slut, doesn't think twice about laying down with anyone, any time any place and enjoys it why would she feel shamed? Explain that.
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by Rabbit
I hope that makes sense.It would be my preference to not date her.
But it would not influence my idea of her value as a person.
It makes perfect sense.
Your standards are higher than to try to turn a hoe into a housewife.
I agree.
click to expand
It's all in the preference I suppose of the "throwback" and the "keeper."
Posted by LetltB
Posted by DMV why do you refernce it as the slut route? Why are you calling her a slut? A weaker woman hearing that is damaging to her self esteem. I see these mems where woman are supposed to be enpowering each other. Are you enpowering her by tearing her down?or is it just for fun?
it is sad to see a woman come in here and poster after poster riducle her. It hurts me to the core because ive been targeted on DXP repeatedly and been called names repeatedly. Im a much stronger womam so I can deal, but its shocking.
Where did "sex shaming" come from? Is that the new socially acceptable term for slut? FYI definition of "Slut" from 3 different online dictionaries..
slut
/sl??t/ noun
a woman who has many casual sexual partners.TOP DEFINITION slut
a woman with the morals of a manslut A person considered to be sexually promiscuous
So to answer your second question "Why are you calling her a slut" ....it's what a slut is or the the "slut route" as you put it.
Regarding a woman's self esteem, if she's proud to be a slut, please tell me how it's damaging? ...and HOW is that tearing her down? I'm not ridiculing anyone...I stated and have stated TO EACH HER OWN. Am I suppose to wave a flag or march in a parade or something?
click to expand
Do you feel like the word slut is derogatory or demeaning?
Posted by LetltB
Posted by DMV why do you refernce it as the slut route? Why are you calling her a slut? A weaker woman hearing that is damaging to her self esteem. I see these mems where woman are supposed to be enpowering each other. Are you enpowering her by tearing her down?or is it just for fun?
it is sad to see a woman come in here and poster after poster riducle her. It hurts me to the core because ive been targeted on DXP repeatedly and been called names repeatedly. Im a much stronger womam so I can deal, but its shocking.
Where did "sex shaming" come from? Is that the new socially acceptable term for slut? FYI definition of "Slut" from 3 different online dictionaries..
slut
/sl??t/ noun
a woman who has many casual sexual partners.TOP DEFINITION slut
a woman with the morals of a manslut A person considered to be sexually promiscuous
So to answer your second question "Why are you calling her a slut" ....it's what a slut is or the the "slut route" as you put it.
Regarding a woman's self esteem, if she's proud to be a slut, please tell me how it's damaging? ...and HOW is that tearing her down? I'm not ridiculing anyone...I stated and have stated TO EACH HER OWN. Am I suppose to wave a flag or march in a parade or something?
click to expand
there are alot of words in the dictionary that have implied meanings and are considered by some to be derogatory. Do you think the word slut is one of them?
Further the word is only in the dictionary because it has become apart of our communication. But does that make the word good? Was the origination of the word slut used for positivity?
there are alot of words in the dictionary, doesnt mean you have to use it.
for the posters who come here not waving a flag, why are they met with such harsh criticism from women.
Lets just all put everyone on an even keel since we're throwing around these generic offensive names so loosely and trying to once again define what makes a woman a "woman" and not a "slut" in soooooo many different people eyes and then critized for it regardless to the nature of whatever situation she got herself into....geebies dxp sometimes is a mess and should really be just for entertainment purposes ONLY...lol! Let me just throw my 2 cents in the ring in an attempt to put alot of women in the same boat just to see how easy this is done.....so the way I figure it, if u've had more than 1 sex partner...ur a "slut"....now does everyone feel better....lol.... now just maybe us women can find some way to show love to one another w/out the name calling to other women or criticizing each other (wishful thinking).....Lol! Who the hell dictates how many men a woman have to sleep with before she meets that standard anyway & be critized for doing so....Dr Phil—??.....Ssupes— (lol....just joshing)....Bugs Bunny—...Lol!!!!..."Society" at its finest and us women sometimes....lol....Nope...this statement was not based on any logic or rationale...lol!
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https://www.yahoo.com/health/the-bachelorette-vilified-for-casual-sex-why-are-122257377842.html
Im so over women judging other women. Im tired of the name calling. Im tired of other women claiming they want respect, but they dont give it. This so called pecking order is just downright cruel. Women are attacked and gang'd up on just for having sex. The response is so strong and seemingly very deep rooted.
Why is tolerance so hard for some of you? Is the article right? Do you feel like you have a deep seated fear that you will become somehow powerlessness?