@HeavyEntertainmentShow
9 Years5,000+ Posts
Slapper wanted.
Posted by LionTamer
so many options in 2018
I apologize, Mr LionTamer, but we are not accepting your application at this time. The reasons are explained below:
- too ugly. Giving you a 3 would be generous.
- your fixation on pomeranians & other canines in general instead of female humans is deemed too gross-af. Leads to questionable personal hygiene.
- your inability to get it up is well-documented (your words, not mine).
- wrong gender.
Posted by LionTamer
heavy orders a pizzahello this is heavy i would like to order a big sausage pizza for me and jed
please give is your location sir
i live in a dorm room 69
ok sir that will be 4.99 pizza is on us if we are late for 45 mins
radios jed
eagle one are you in place
i’m here eagle 2
great slash the tires on the delivery bikes and sprint back home
copy eagle 1
over 45 mins later
here is your free pizza sir
see jed i told you this was better than coupons
your straight relationship act with the hireling didn't last long, huh? Too busy pawing your dog to function like a real man. Now you're back indulging your REAL obsession: us.
Thanks for the publicity & the bumps, sport.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by LionTamer
so many options in 2018I apologize, Mr LionTamer, but we are not accepting your application at this time. The reasons are explained below:
- too unattractive. Giving you a 3 would be generous.
- your fixation on pomeranians & other canines in general instead of female humans is deemed too gross-af. Leads to questionable personal hygiene.
- your inability to get it up is well-documented (your words, not mine).
- wrong gender.
no thank you for playing the greatest game on dxp
the let’s pretend we have options game
click to expand
Wait wot?? What on earth gave you the impression this is for ME? If it was for me, I would've asked for DICK. I've never looked at pussycat that way and I never will.
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
The English definition of slapper?
See "loose morals" or "Gemitati".
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
The English definition of slapper?See "loose morals" or "Gemitati".
loose morals > loose assholes
click to expand
loose assholes > bestiality
womp womp
Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Do I qualify?You’ve seen what I look like, haven’t you?
I may have but I don't remember. It's not me you'd be hooking up with though; sorry to disappoint lol. But don't worry, he's hotter than me and you'd definitely get a "rise" out of him. With me you wouldn't. 100% into dick.
Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Do I qualify?You’ve seen what I look like, haven’t you?
I may have but I don't remember. It's not me you'd be hooking up with though; sorry to disappoint lol. But don't worry, he's hotter than me and you'd definitely get a "rise" out of him. With me you wouldn't. 100% into dick.
Is this a serious search/listing?
click to expand
In fact it is, but only if you live in Australia. I'm not paying for international Air Jed
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by Fantum
I thought you were genuinely searching for a hoe to slap you.Are you offering?
Is she for you?
click to expand
God no, I wouldn't know what to do with her. Well I would but I wouldn't wanna touch "it". So it would defeat the purpose of this listing.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by Fantum
I thought you were genuinely searching for a hoe to slap you.Are you offering?
I don't meet your criteria. 😢
But I've got a good slapping arm.
click to expand
Don't know, I wasn't there. But it probably went something like dis.
Why would you want to push the person you love into bed with a woman, where there is a chance he may really like it and want to do it more ?
Isn't he bisexual and not quite clear on what he wants ?
Russian roulette
Posted by MyStarsShine
Why would you want to push the person you love into bed with a woman, where there is a chance he may really like it and want to do it more ?Isn't he bisexual and not quite clear on what he wants ?
Russian roulette
It's always been a russian roulette. Can't get any worse than falling in love with a straight guy, but the past 12 months have been beyond my wildest dreams and I'm gonna treasure them forever no matter what. But stuffing my head in the sand and pretending it was never a possibility would be quite stupid of me. My Virgo moon is too much of a worrywart to let that go.
He entered his first serious relationship at 24, with a man no less, had minimal sexual contact with either gender before that. It wouldn't be fair to him to minimize his life experiences because I want him all to myself. I know what I want because I know I'm 100% gay. I've been in love 3 times, I've been several different men in my 33 years of life, I've explored it. But he hasn't. In his own words, his attraction to me goes beyond gender.
He has to experience both sides of the life coin before he can decide what he wants for sure. I don't believe we're gonna fall out over this, we've got too much history and too strong of a bond. But if being with a man isn't what he truly wants, who am I to say otherwise? I don't own him, I just love him.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Do I qualify?You’ve seen what I look like, haven’t you?
I may have but I don't remember. It's not me you'd be hooking up with though; sorry to disappoint lol. But don't worry, he's hotter than me and you'd definitely get a "rise" out of him. With me you wouldn't. 100% into dick.
click to expand
I was just wondering of you were looking for a woman in a threesome MMF and wonder how that would go with a gay male couple lol
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by MyStarsShine
Why would you want to push the person you love into bed with a woman, where there is a chance he may really like it and want to do it more ?Isn't he bisexual and not quite clear on what he wants ?
Russian roulette
It's always been a russian roulette. Can't get any worse than falling in love with a straight guy, but the past 12 months have been beyond my wildest dreams and I'm gonna treasure them forever no matter what. But stuffing my head in the sand and pretending it was never a possibility would be quite stupid of me. My Virgo moon is too much of a worrywart to let that go.
He entered his first serious relationship at 24, with a man no less, had minimal sexual contact with either gender before that. It wouldn't be fair to him to minimize his life experiences because I want him all to myself. I know what I want because I know I'm 100% gay. I've been in love 3 times, I've been several different men in my 33 years of life, I've explored it. But he hasn't. In his own words, his attraction to me goes beyond gender.
He has to experience both sides of the life coin before he can decide what he wants for sure. I don't believe we're gonna fall out over this, we've got too much history and too strong of a bond. But if being with a man isn't what he truly wants, who am I to say otherwise? I don't own him, I just love him.
click to expand
My man parts work just fine, unlike yours. In that way, I'm 100 times the man you wish you were. So you might as well quit pretending you're straight and act your age for once because make-believe goes out of fashion at around 5 years old, and you ain't convincing anyone.
Except maybe CC. Then again she'd stake her life on the existence of the Fir....erm, Easter Bunny so.......
Posted by SpaceBird
i think you know if you are gay straight or bi...
I definitely know I'm 100% gay, but I can give him an erection and he's (self-admittedly) gotten a boner by thinking about a particular woman.
So I guess that makes him bi. But "guess" isn't good enough. My Virgo moon wants absolutes.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Do I qualify?You’ve seen what I look like, haven’t you?
I may have but I don't remember. It's not me you'd be hooking up with though; sorry to disappoint lol. But don't worry, he's hotter than me and you'd definitely get a "rise" out of him. With me you wouldn't. 100% into dick.
I was just wondering of you were looking for a woman in a threesome MMF and wonder how that would go with a gay male couple lol
click to expand
Indeed, keep wondering. It'd be fairly one-sided and she'd be bored af.
BUT I did have a Cancer girl friend several years back who appeared to be a gay man in a woman's body. She was OBSESSED with images of gay man sex. She was a bit of a nightmare to deal with in that way because she kept asking me to tell her stories.
Sort of like this, but less gross.
Because she was in her 20s and not 60s
Posted by LionTamer
maybe he just got tired of stealing food
this could be you and firebunny but you keep playing games
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Do I qualify?You’ve seen what I look like, haven’t you?
I may have but I don't remember. It's not me you'd be hooking up with though; sorry to disappoint lol. But don't worry, he's hotter than me and you'd definitely get a "rise" out of him. With me you wouldn't. 100% into dick.
I was just wondering of you were looking for a woman in a threesome MMF and wonder how that would go with a gay male couple lol
Indeed, keep wondering. It'd be fairly one-sided and she'd be bored af.
BUT I did have a Cancer girl friend several years back who appeared to be a gay man in a woman's body. She was OBSESSED with images of gay man sex. She was a bit of a nightmare to deal with in that way because she kept asking me to tell her stories.
Sort of like this, but less gross.
Because she was in her 20s and not 60s
click to expand
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Throwing her WAY under the bus! LMAO
Posted by LionTamer
maybe he just got tired of stealing foodthis could be you and firebunny but you keep playing games
click to expand
Actually this CAN be you and Ands, if you have the balls to admit it to him and yourself. Get a good cam, get your own Skype account and you can wear this
he can wear that
and let the wild times roar. GRRRRRRR. You've been sucking his dick for so long, might as well make it official.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by SpaceBird
i think you know if you are gay straight or bi...I definitely know I'm 100% gay, but I can give him an erection and he's (self-admittedly) gotten a boner by thinking about a particular woman.
So I guess that makes him bi. But "guess" isn't good enough. My Virgo moon wants absolutes.
How old is he? Is it typical for someone his age to be so confused about his orientation still?
A lot of straight men who are very, very horny are sexual deviants. In my college town, a lot of the frat boys like to fuck trannies... I have seen their ads and messages to an ex friend of mine. Maybe Jed is straight and he was experimenting with his sexuality, but ultimately wants to be with a woman. He probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings too, I'd imagine? So maybe that's why he's acting confused.
click to expand
25. We met when he was 20. And lol you don't have to tell me he's got a weird bone, he's Leo-dominant and I experienced his wild side before we were even official.
But generally speaking, I wouldn't exactly call him conservative but he was raised in a very good home. His mother is awesome and all the kids were raised with proper values and morals. He doesn't take sex lightly. He only goes the distance with those he has serious feelings for, that's why he'd never been in a relationship before.
Time will tell.
Posted by DeleterNerd
Poor thing. So in love youre willing to accept abuse and abuse yourself.this shouldn’t happen when you have so many options bro in 2018
click to expand
Next level trolling skills 😂
Lmao'd the whole time I was reading your posts.
Posted by DeleterNerd
Poor thing. So in love youre willing to accept abuse and abuse yourself.this shouldn’t happen when you have so many options bro in 2018
Next level trolling skills 😂
Lmao'd the whole time I was reading your posts.
click to expand
Dude seriously? Only 5 year olds or those with Down Syndrome would consider this "next level trolling skills" considering how easily he's blown out of the water by cold hard facts. All he accomplishes is being one step closer to getting banned again
I don’t qualify lol
Posted by DeleterNerd
Poor thing. So in love youre willing to accept abuse and abuse yourself.
Well......like my favorite general said once
A good tactician does not make a move until he's seen all the angles.
I may be crazy but I'm not stupid.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by MyStarsShine
Why would you want to push the person you love into bed with a woman, where there is a chance he may really like it and want to do it more ?Isn't he bisexual and not quite clear on what he wants ?
Russian roulette
It's always been a russian roulette. Can't get any worse than falling in love with a straight guy, but the past 12 months have been beyond my wildest dreams and I'm gonna treasure them forever no matter what. But stuffing my head in the sand and pretending it was never a possibility would be quite stupid of me. My Virgo moon is too much of a worrywart to let that go.
He entered his first serious relationship at 24, with a man no less, had minimal sexual contact with either gender before that. It wouldn't be fair to him to minimize his life experiences because I want him all to myself. I know what I want because I know I'm 100% gay. I've been in love 3 times, I've been several different men in my 33 years of life, I've explored it. But he hasn't. In his own words, his attraction to me goes beyond gender.
He has to experience both sides of the life coin before he can decide what he wants for sure. I don't believe we're gonna fall out over this, we've got too much history and too strong of a bond. But if being with a man isn't what he truly wants, who am I to say otherwise? I don't own him, I just love him.
click to expand
"I don't own him, I just love him"
Wise words
❤️
Did this help you understand your situation?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
Female slapper needed for an one-night stand with one of the hottest guys in the world.
- You have to be generally classified within popular circles as at least an 8+. Nothing but the most expensive cut.
- You have to be between the ages of 21-30.
- You have to be all-naturale. No plastic boos, fake tan or fake keister.
- You have to be employed, to make sure you can afford basic hygiene products. Can't have you stinking up the place like a surströmming can.
- Gals with sun/prominent placements in or Scorpio/Libra/Cancer/Taurus/Pisces-heavy charts are automatically disqualified; can't have you falling in luuuuv or going Glenn Close.
- Gals with loose morals and/or Aqua/Sag-heavy charts are encouraged to apply.
- Thigh gap presence is of no consequence.
- If, unbeknownst to most people, you have a penis, you're automatically disqualified.
Applications are now OPEN. Leave your photo, your name & your number at the booth and I'll let you know if you made the shortlist. You have 7 days.