Wild-of-you-to-say
@Wild-of-you-to-say
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Why do quiet people bother others?
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I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
Posted by victoria-sakura
I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
I am an over thinker but I think assuming things about people with out knowing them is not something adults should be doing. Makes sense tho.
I can control it. I am quiet around most and conversational around those that I care to talk to.
My friend had told me that it's unsettling how im quiet when everyone is talking.
And yeah I was also bullied or at least they tried cause I was mostly quiet in school. I even had one dude get so angry that he told his group of friends he wanted to kick my ass. I never talked or stared at this dude.
Might be unsettling nowadays as well but I use it to my advantage to keep most people away from me and keep only those that really wanna talk to me.
My friend had told me that it's unsettling how im quiet when everyone is talking.
And yeah I was also bullied or at least they tried cause I was mostly quiet in school. I even had one dude get so angry that he told his group of friends he wanted to kick my ass. I never talked or stared at this dude.
Might be unsettling nowadays as well but I use it to my advantage to keep most people away from me and keep only those that really wanna talk to me.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lighting
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
That's a good point actually. That might be most of the reason. I am judgy and have a superiority complex. I'm probably a smug arse.
And others who are quiet do seem the same. I sometimes have quiet contests to see who needs to talk first. I had the most trouble with a Cap moon/Scorp rising coworker who would still end up losing cause I can stay entertained with my own thoughts.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.
Posted by FuelAirPropellantPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
That's a good point actually. That might be most of the reason. I am judgy and have a superiority complex. I'm probably a smug arse.
And others who are quiet do seem the same. I sometimes have quiet contests to see who needs to talk first. I had the most trouble with a Cap moon/Scorp rising coworker who would still end up losing cause I can stay entertained with my own thoughts.click to expand
lol… that’s funny 😆👌
And yeah, nothing wrong with self awareness. Bravo on not taking this personal.
This also reminds me of the current culture where most people try to act like they don't see each other by not acknowledging anyone around them. I'd been doing that since I was a kid so don't even have to try and it seems to piss people off probably cause they have to try.
Posted by FuelAirPropellant
I can control it. I am quiet around most and conversational around those that I care to talk to.
My friend had told me that it's unsettling how im quiet when everyone is talking.
And yeah I was also bullied or at least they tried cause I was mostly quiet in school. I even had one dude get so angry that he told his group of friends he wanted to kick my ass. I never talked or stared at this dude.
Might be unsettling nowadays as well but I use it to my advantage to keep most people away from me and keep only those that really wanna talk to me.
Good way to protect yourself
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
If me being myself brings out unwanted negative behavior, its safe to assume I am not the problem. Making excuses for peoples negative responses is gross.
I would never be okay with someone making excuses for me if I wrote nasty hate messages to my co workers, broke moral rules and made fun of my coworkers. If that behavior is okay to you, you are just as childish as them.
Posted by FuelAirPropellant
This also reminds me of the current culture where most people try to act like they don't see each other by not acknowledging anyone around them. I'd been doing that since I was a kid so don't even have to try and it seems to piss people off probably cause they have to try.
Purposely ignoring someone if they are trying to work with you dont sit right with me. How ever if some one wont leave you alone, or bullies you in one way shape or form, I can understand
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakura
I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
I am an over thinker but I think assuming things about people with out knowing them is not something adults should be doing. Makes sense tho.click to expand
Most, if not everyone, assumes something about other people. It's usually tend to be the effect of missing pieces of information not given, so people come to some kind of conclusions to fill in the gaps.
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
You said something. I responded and because you dont like it your gonna cry about being scared?
(Collects liberal tears)
Posted by victoria-sakuraPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakura
I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
I am an over thinker but I think assuming things about people with out knowing them is not something adults should be doing. Makes sense tho. click to expand
Most, if not everyone, assumes something about other people. It's usually tend to be the effect of missing pieces of information not given, so people come to some kind of conclusions to fill in the gaps.click to expand
Some things can be assumed. But if you are not given anything to work with, its safe to not assume
Posted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Did he do something to say "we get it, you think your special"? Or is he intimidating to you?
What reasoning do you have behind what looks like jealousy?
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
You said something. I responded and because you dont like it your gonna cry about being scared?
(Collects liberal tears)click to expand
Ooh… sounds like you have bulling tendencies as well. So interesting 🤔🤔🤔
If you didn’t like the advice, don’t take it. Simple as that.
I see you. I don’t want to help you any more.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Did he do something to say "we get it, you think your special"? Or is he intimidating to you?
What reasoning do you have behind what looks like jealousy?click to expand
That’s just my sarcastic remark. He thinks because other people accomplished something, that he would be able to accomplish the same thing. He failed. Rather than accepting failure gracefully and find humility to learn, he still holds on to misappraisal of himself. It will lead to more headaches in his future.
Intimidation isn’t the right word. He makes me sick. I am like No Face in Spirited Away.
I think it's the air of mystery that you exude that makes them feel rather unsettled because they are very different from you. They get energy from interacting with other ppl and you don't. Because they don't know you so well and vice versa, you and her will be most likely be misunderstanding each other.
A possibility would be that since she doesn't know you that well, she won't bother to help you much. Ppl tend to rely on a sense of closeness to get something out of someone, right? I experienced that kind of thing too occassionally at workplace.
Also a possibility about people who like to shift conversation as you started speaking was mostly like them saying, "who are you? I don't know you.. why should I listen to you?" That kind of vibe. I got that type of behaviour with clients and coworkers and it hurt but I swallowed my ego and just moved past it trying to go along with the rest of the conversation even though icky feels clogged my interest to be involved in having conversations with them..
To me, being social is a hard task for introverts.. mundane talks bore the hell out of me but it's good to hear them just so I know but I don't need to chime in unless it really sparks my interest. I'm glad that ppl in my country are mostly decent so they don't appear beastly that much.
Also, positive thinking and put focus on the other person can help much.. like for example, if one suddenly stops you into speaking further, just let them and listen to what they have to say with a thought that I can know more about things or that's good so I don't have to do the talking, that kind of thing..
I think what you are speaking is mostly how you feel like your ego got a little bruised from interacting with them..
A possibility would be that since she doesn't know you that well, she won't bother to help you much. Ppl tend to rely on a sense of closeness to get something out of someone, right? I experienced that kind of thing too occassionally at workplace.
Also a possibility about people who like to shift conversation as you started speaking was mostly like them saying, "who are you? I don't know you.. why should I listen to you?" That kind of vibe. I got that type of behaviour with clients and coworkers and it hurt but I swallowed my ego and just moved past it trying to go along with the rest of the conversation even though icky feels clogged my interest to be involved in having conversations with them..
To me, being social is a hard task for introverts.. mundane talks bore the hell out of me but it's good to hear them just so I know but I don't need to chime in unless it really sparks my interest. I'm glad that ppl in my country are mostly decent so they don't appear beastly that much.
Also, positive thinking and put focus on the other person can help much.. like for example, if one suddenly stops you into speaking further, just let them and listen to what they have to say with a thought that I can know more about things or that's good so I don't have to do the talking, that kind of thing..
I think what you are speaking is mostly how you feel like your ego got a little bruised from interacting with them..
You’re annoying and its not because you’re an introvert, its mostly your lack of introspection. Good luck deflecting this truth
Posted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh
Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.
Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..
But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
I haven't finished reading this whole story yet but so far this is the story of my life. I was bullied growing up too for being quiet.
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lighting
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
Nah dear it's those loud talkative ones and their behaviors just like what the op was telling you. They are the ones need to look within themselves not us. Short and sweet. See how easy that is.
Posted by Lulufer
You’re annoying and its not because you’re an introvert, its mostly your lack of introspection. Good luck deflecting this truth
Who is the op? You talking like this person been here before. Of course we all know this place is overrun with returning users.
Posted by Lulufer
You’re annoying and its not because you’re an introvert, its mostly your lack of introspection. Good luck deflecting this truth
This, 💯 %
I even have to explain this to my own mom and sister 😂😂 and they know me best. Even to my bf who knows me even better. You are probably a highly sensitive person and an introvert. Unfortunately, although it's hard for us, we have to do a lot of explaining to other people. Why we don't talk so much etc
Adapting to your environment a little bit can be to your advantage though. Once people warm up to you, you can explain yourself to them. Tell them that you an introvert, that talking too much and social environments drain your energy, that you are a highly sensitive person , and other people sometimes think you are snobbish because of that. So they will understand that you don't have that much hyper energy for social situations , it's just your nature.
Adapting to your environment a little bit can be to your advantage though. Once people warm up to you, you can explain yourself to them. Tell them that you an introvert, that talking too much and social environments drain your energy, that you are a highly sensitive person , and other people sometimes think you are snobbish because of that. So they will understand that you don't have that much hyper energy for social situations , it's just your nature.
i know it's hard but you gotta
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's why
"Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me."
That line stood out to me, because it shows you can feel the difference between quiet that feels safe and quiet that doesn’t. I'm sorry you were bullied for being quiet, and it makes sense that it would sharpen how you see other people’s behavior now.
The thing is, being quiet isn’t the issue; quiet plus visible contempt is. Your face, tone, and body language are probably broadcasting that frustration even when you don’t say much, so what people are reacting to isn’t just your silence, but the sense that you think you’re above them – which can trigger defensiveness or cruelty.
Your boyfriend’s silence feels calm and accepting to you, not judging. So it’s less “introvert vs. extrovert” and more about what the quiet is carrying. People don’t react to silence alone; they react to the emotional charge underneath it. If you want different reactions, it might help to look at the energy behind your silence and what your body language is saying for you.
sry may b ppl.. as rest from discmfirt
Posted by RaminheartzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Did he do something to say "we get it, you think your special"? Or is he intimidating to you?
What reasoning do you have behind what looks like jealousy?click to expand
That’s just my sarcastic remark. He thinks because other people accomplished something, that he would be able to accomplish the same thing. He failed. Rather than accepting failure gracefully and find humility to learn, he still holds on to misappraisal of himself. It will lead to more headaches in his future.
Intimidation isn’t the right word. He makes me sick. I am like No Face in Spirited Away.click to expand
I would say thats a personal problem on his behalf. Maybe he holds himself to high standards but I would not make fun of his failure, at least he is trying. Maybe he looks up to others and is not doing well. In that case empathy is needed and not judgement
Posted by Polyannanana
I even have to explain this to my own mom and sister 😂😂 and they know me best. Even to my bf who knows me even better. You are probably a highly sensitive person and an introvert. Unfortunately, although it's hard for us, we have to do a lot of explaining to other people. Why we don't talk so much etc
Adapting to your environment a little bit can be to your advantage though. Once people warm up to you, you can explain yourself to them. Tell them that you an introvert, that talking too much and social environments drain your energy, that you are a highly sensitive person , and other people sometimes think you are snobbish because of that. So they will understand that you don't have that much hyper energy for social situations , it's just your nature.
So much yes. You hit the nail on the head. I am really good at explaining these things to people that are welcoming to me but if they are not patient and give me that time to open up and they get irritated with me and do something aggravated towards me I can no longer invest my energy in them. I know you understand what I mean
Posted by FuelAirPropellant
I sometimes have quiet contests to see who needs to talk first. I had the most trouble with a Cap moon/Scorp rising coworker who would still end up losing cause I can stay entertained with my own thoughts.
Quiet contests 😂 you really are in the Olympics of smug silence. At least you’re self-aware.
I sometimes have quiet contests to see who needs to talk first. I had the most trouble with a Cap moon/Scorp rising coworker who would still end up losing cause I can stay entertained with my own thoughts.
Quiet contests 😂 you really are in the Olympics of smug silence. At least you’re self-aware.
Posted by Lula_
"Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me."
That line stood out to me, because it shows you can feel the difference between quiet that feels safe and quiet that doesn’t. I'm sorry you were bullied for being quiet, and it makes sense that it would sharpen how you see other people’s behavior now.
The thing is, being quiet isn’t the issue; quiet plus visible contempt is. Your face, tone, and body language are probably broadcasting that frustration even when you don’t say much, so what people are reacting to isn’t just your silence, but the sense that you think you’re above them – which can trigger defensiveness or cruelty.
Your boyfriend’s silence feels calm and accepting to you, not judging. So it’s less “introvert vs. extrovert” and more about what the quiet is carrying. People don’t react to silence alone; they react to the emotional charge underneath it. If you want different reactions, it might help to look at the energy behind your silence and what your body language is saying for you.
I didn't really know how to change my body's energy until I gave birth to my son. My son would not go to sleep unless I changed my energy into like a monotone. So I would practice putting all of my anxiety and my racing thoughts to the very back of my head so that way it does not show up in my energy field that way my son could get to sleep. I got really good at making my energy monotone that way people can't judge me or they can't feel my racing thoughts or my anxiety. That was almost 8 years ago. I am diagnosed cptsd and anxiety so I try not to let my anxiety show because I feel like it could put other people on edge. And I don't want people to feel that way.
Posted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand
Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay home
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Lulufer
You’re annoying and its not because you’re an introvert, its mostly your lack of introspection. Good luck deflecting this truth
This, 💯 %click to expand
I shall call this my super power.
**doing nothing and annoying strangers on the internet**
I don't have to pay rent in your head, and thats cool.
Posted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
I haven't finished reading this whole story yet but so far this is the story of my life. I was bullied growing up too for being quiet.click to expand
I am sorry you went through that. I grew up saying "if they are mad, then Im doing something right"
There is evil in humans that cant stand a Godly peace.
Posted by WhynnPosted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh
Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.
Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..
But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.click to expand
I think you're right about the likability holding more weight than your actual work. I don't think you should be in competition with anyone girl. Playing games like this is extremely exhausting and not good for your spiritual health.
Posted by Lulufer
You’re annoying and its not because you’re an introvert, its mostly your lack of introspection. Good luck deflecting this truth
Why do I get the feeling your talking about yourself?
You know yourself well enough to say such things.
Posted by Whynn
I think it's the air of mystery that you exude that makes them feel rather unsettled because they are very different from you. They get energy from interacting with other ppl and you don't. Because they don't know you so well and vice versa, you and her will be most likely be misunderstanding each other.
A possibility would be that since she doesn't know you that well, she won't bother to help you much. Ppl tend to rely on a sense of closeness to get something out of someone, right? I experienced that kind of thing too occassionally at workplace.
Also a possibility about people who like to shift conversation as you started speaking was mostly like them saying, "who are you? I don't know you.. why should I listen to you?" That kind of vibe. I got that type of behaviour with clients and coworkers and it hurt but I swallowed my ego and just moved past it trying to go along with the rest of the conversation even though icky feels clogged my interest to be involved in having conversations with them..
To me, being social is a hard task for introverts.. mundane talks bore the hell out of me but it's good to hear them just so I know but I don't need to chime in unless it really sparks my interest. I'm glad that ppl in my country are mostly decent so they don't appear beastly that much.
Also, positive thinking and put focus on the other person can help much.. like for example, if one suddenly stops you into speaking further, just let them and listen to what they have to say with a thought that I can know more about things or that's good so I don't have to do the talking, that kind of thing..
I think what you are speaking is mostly how you feel like your ego got a little bruised from interacting with them..
Observing does not require ego.
The guy that does the "anyways" conversation move gets in trouble alot by the big boss.
Me and big boss are close, 10 years close.
He sees what I see and he approves of how I lay down boundaries and speak up for myself.
I have been called names by angry customers. Had money thrown at me, been fb stalked, there is so much customer hate and ignorance that every single one of us has been through and I've been doing this for 10 years. I promise you on the second year your ego checks out if you even had one. When I would train new employees I would just tell them to imagine that the customer had a really bad day they just got dumped the day before their wedding and to not take it personal when they lash out at you.
Im 10000% monotone energy. I don't have reactions if you yell at me I'm not going to yell back. If you hate me I'm not going to hate you back. I've just been doing this job for so long that I just don't care about anything. I will however get my job done. Just observing and collecting paychecks
I learned to exude peace and calm when I adopted my cat, too. One of the blessings of becoming a "parent".
Im glad you'll get to work on your own. I think you'd have a better time if you had the chance to work with country boys and gamers in their 20s. No women. Thats been my best work team experience, theres not all this hate and anger within them and they're not focused on you, rather on talking about vidya.
Since you mentioned liberal tears, if you deal with lots of libs, I have a theory that people who feel guilty about recognizing non-PC patterns are pent up with frustration and lash out disproportionately on others, such as right wingers etc. Ill read it on reddit all the time : "my bf is an amazing person, hes just racist." "It doesnt matter how perfect of a partner he is, hes trash!!" The bigoted person doesn't try to deny his experiences and force himself to take on unnatural guilt and beliefs. The lib is always pissed off but cant say why, so they abuse everyone else
Im glad you'll get to work on your own. I think you'd have a better time if you had the chance to work with country boys and gamers in their 20s. No women. Thats been my best work team experience, theres not all this hate and anger within them and they're not focused on you, rather on talking about vidya.
Since you mentioned liberal tears, if you deal with lots of libs, I have a theory that people who feel guilty about recognizing non-PC patterns are pent up with frustration and lash out disproportionately on others, such as right wingers etc. Ill read it on reddit all the time : "my bf is an amazing person, hes just racist." "It doesnt matter how perfect of a partner he is, hes trash!!" The bigoted person doesn't try to deny his experiences and force himself to take on unnatural guilt and beliefs. The lib is always pissed off but cant say why, so they abuse everyone else
Posted by FuelAirPropellant
I sometimes have quiet contests to see who needs to talk first. I had the most trouble with a Cap moon/Scorp rising coworker who would still end up losing cause I can stay entertained with my own thoughts.
Thats fucking hilarious
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Whynn
I think it's the air of mystery that you exude that makes them feel rather unsettled because they are very different from you. They get energy from interacting with other ppl and you don't. Because they don't know you so well and vice versa, you and her will be most likely be misunderstanding each other.
A possibility would be that since she doesn't know you that well, she won't bother to help you much. Ppl tend to rely on a sense of closeness to get something out of someone, right? I experienced that kind of thing too occassionally at workplace.
Also a possibility about people who like to shift conversation as you started speaking was mostly like them saying, "who are you? I don't know you.. why should I listen to you?" That kind of vibe. I got that type of behaviour with clients and coworkers and it hurt but I swallowed my ego and just moved past it trying to go along with the rest of the conversation even though icky feels clogged my interest to be involved in having conversations with them..
To me, being social is a hard task for introverts.. mundane talks bore the hell out of me but it's good to hear them just so I know but I don't need to chime in unless it really sparks my interest. I'm glad that ppl in my country are mostly decent so they don't appear beastly that much.
Also, positive thinking and put focus on the other person can help much.. like for example, if one suddenly stops you into speaking further, just let them and listen to what they have to say with a thought that I can know more about things or that's good so I don't have to do the talking, that kind of thing..
I think what you are speaking is mostly how you feel like your ego got a little bruised from interacting with them..
Observing does not require ego.
The guy that does the "anyways" conversation move gets in trouble alot by the big boss.
Me and big boss are close, 10 years close.
He sees what I see and he approves of how I lay down boundaries and speak up for myself.
I have been called names by angry customers. Had money thrown at me, been fb stalked, there is so much customer hate and ignorance that every single one of us has been through and I've been doing this for 10 years. I promise you on the second year your ego checks out if you even had one. When I would train new employees I would just tell them to imagine that the customer had a really bad day they just got dumped the day before their wedding and to not take it personal when they lash out at you.
Im 10000% monotone energy. I don't have reactions if you yell at me I'm not going to yell back. If you hate me I'm not going to hate you back. I've just been doing this job for so long that I just don't care about anything. I will however get my job done. Just observing and collecting paychecksclick to expand
not sure if related. people don’t understand that some ppl like to be left alone- I learned to adapt by trying to blend in with the workplace. Not saying it’s the same situation but I realized most ppl at work were fake towards each other- it was a very toxic work environment because they would gossip and bully even their own “ work friends” . some ppl take you being quiet as being weak or snobbish so it rubs them the wrong way
Posted by lokiloverPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Whynn
I think it's the air of mystery that you exude that makes them feel rather unsettled because they are very different from you. They get energy from interacting with other ppl and you don't. Because they don't know you so well and vice versa, you and her will be most likely be misunderstanding each other.
A possibility would be that since she doesn't know you that well, she won't bother to help you much. Ppl tend to rely on a sense of closeness to get something out of someone, right? I experienced that kind of thing too occassionally at workplace.
Also a possibility about people who like to shift conversation as you started speaking was mostly like them saying, "who are you? I don't know you.. why should I listen to you?" That kind of vibe. I got that type of behaviour with clients and coworkers and it hurt but I swallowed my ego and just moved past it trying to go along with the rest of the conversation even though icky feels clogged my interest to be involved in having conversations with them..
To me, being social is a hard task for introverts.. mundane talks bore the hell out of me but it's good to hear them just so I know but I don't need to chime in unless it really sparks my interest. I'm glad that ppl in my country are mostly decent so they don't appear beastly that much.
Also, positive thinking and put focus on the other person can help much.. like for example, if one suddenly stops you into speaking further, just let them and listen to what they have to say with a thought that I can know more about things or that's good so I don't have to do the talking, that kind of thing..
I think what you are speaking is mostly how you feel like your ego got a little bruised from interacting with them..
Observing does not require ego.
The guy that does the "anyways" conversation move gets in trouble alot by the big boss.
Me and big boss are close, 10 years close.
He sees what I see and he approves of how I lay down boundaries and speak up for myself.
I have been called names by angry customers. Had money thrown at me, been fb stalked, there is so much customer hate and ignorance that every single one of us has been through and I've been doing this for 10 years. I promise you on the second year your ego checks out if you even had one. When I would train new employees I would just tell them to imagine that the customer had a really bad day they just got dumped the day before their wedding and to not take it personal when they lash out at you.
Im 10000% monotone energy. I don't have reactions if you yell at me I'm not going to yell back. If you hate me I'm not going to hate you back. I've just been doing this job for so long that I just don't care about anything. I will however get my job done. Just observing and collecting paychecksclick to expand
not sure if related. people don’t understand that some ppl like to be left alone- I learned to adapt by trying to blend in with the workplace. Not saying it’s the same situation but I realized most ppl at work were fake towards each other- it was a very toxic work environment because they would gossip and bully even their own “ work friends” . some ppl take you being quiet as being weak or snobbish so it rubs them the wrong wayclick to expand
I notice that too. I worked with a quiet girl once, she got fired for sleeping in and calling out sick too much. She and I understood each other very well, with out speaking. She has a pisces moon and fire mars like me..
On one hand I'm trying to understand why quiet bothers other people but when I look inward I cannot think of one single time that a quiet person has bothered me. They are like moments of stillness to be enjoyed
I'll win any silence match
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by lokiloverPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Whynn
I think it's the air of mystery that you exude that makes them feel rather unsettled because they are very different from you. They get energy from interacting with other ppl and you don't. Because they don't know you so well and vice versa, you and her will be most likely be misunderstanding each other.
A possibility would be that since she doesn't know you that well, she won't bother to help you much. Ppl tend to rely on a sense of closeness to get something out of someone, right? I experienced that kind of thing too occassionally at workplace.
Also a possibility about people who like to shift conversation as you started speaking was mostly like them saying, "who are you? I don't know you.. why should I listen to you?" That kind of vibe. I got that type of behaviour with clients and coworkers and it hurt but I swallowed my ego and just moved past it trying to go along with the rest of the conversation even though icky feels clogged my interest to be involved in having conversations with them..
To me, being social is a hard task for introverts.. mundane talks bore the hell out of me but it's good to hear them just so I know but I don't need to chime in unless it really sparks my interest. I'm glad that ppl in my country are mostly decent so they don't appear beastly that much.
Also, positive thinking and put focus on the other person can help much.. like for example, if one suddenly stops you into speaking further, just let them and listen to what they have to say with a thought that I can know more about things or that's good so I don't have to do the talking, that kind of thing..
I think what you are speaking is mostly how you feel like your ego got a little bruised from interacting with them..
Observing does not require ego.
The guy that does the "anyways" conversation move gets in trouble alot by the big boss.
Me and big boss are close, 10 years close.
He sees what I see and he approves of how I lay down boundaries and speak up for myself.
I have been called names by angry customers. Had money thrown at me, been fb stalked, there is so much customer hate and ignorance that every single one of us has been through and I've been doing this for 10 years. I promise you on the second year your ego checks out if you even had one. When I would train new employees I would just tell them to imagine that the customer had a really bad day they just got dumped the day before their wedding and to not take it personal when they lash out at you.
Im 10000% monotone energy. I don't have reactions if you yell at me I'm not going to yell back. If you hate me I'm not going to hate you back. I've just been doing this job for so long that I just don't care about anything. I will however get my job done. Just observing and collecting paychecksclick to expand
not sure if related. people don’t understand that some ppl like to be left alone- I learned to adapt by trying to blend in with the workplace. Not saying it’s the same situation but I realized most ppl at work were fake towards each other- it was a very toxic work environment because they would gossip and bully even their own “ work friends” . some ppl take you being quiet as being weak or snobbish so it rubs them the wrong wayclick to expand
I notice that too. I worked with a quiet girl once, she got fired for sleeping in and calling out sick too much. She and I understood each other very well, with out speaking. She has a pisces moon and fire mars like me..
On one hand I'm trying to understand why quiet bothers other people but when I look inward I cannot think of one single time that a quiet person has bothered me. They are like moments of stillness to be enjoyedclick to expand
aw fellow pisces moon , i knew this one pisces guy who booked every single day off at work bc there was a manager who said that she liked him would book everyday for them to work together 😂
if the only offence is being a quiet person then its nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. basically no point in changing yourself to fit into their social standards either, people accept you as u are or u dont
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
I’m in agreement with this assessment. You’re a Scorpio, too, and a very good judge of human nature and behavior.
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I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.