Me and my ex that I met at work have been broken up for almost 4 months. NC the whole time except him texting me a week after my bday(a month after our break up) to apologize for not wishing me a happy birthday which I accepted. Since then we've somewhat become friends again. We started off as friends, until I confessed to him I had a small crush on one of his close friends & in exchange he admitted his feelings for me. In the past I have felt that although I never acted on those feelings and they passed, it might've been a factor in our breakup. He gave me fluff reasons like "it's not the right time" and "I can't give you what you deserve" because I asked him to spend more time with me. We would hang out every 2-3 weeks and we're in the same place of work!!! Extremely frustrating. He also wasn't the best at communicating. Granted he had just got his 1st apartment, juggled work and class, and is only a sophomore in college but still, it sucked. He has started showing up to every event he knows I'll be at & hovering and staring all night, trying to use a mutual friend to drop hints (he's not over me, he made a mistake, he's not seeing anyone else, he's sad and confused), trying to get me to go to one of his house parties but never has the balls to invite me himself (so I always decline). Finally NYE he threw one and snap chatted me an invite. It caught me off guard completely. Our mutual friend was badgering me to go so I went, I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe more closure. But it was a tame night despite him being really drunk, pacing back and forth and acting weird to the point where our friend pointed it out, and he was constantly asking me if I was having a good time and making piercing eye contact, at which point I left without saying goodbye because I felt awkward. A couple days later I see him again after work at the bar me and my friends always go to. He usually doesn't come unless there's an actual event but this time he did. He stood so close to me when we got there and stared so hard even my friends were uncomfortable. He did make an effort to converse with me about random things but again we weren't alone. He always hugs me when he sees me or hugs me goodbye. My question is: how can I find out how he feels or what's going on without freaking him out? I can tell he wants to get something off his chest but we are never alone together and we don't communicate via text. He is very scared of communicating and just insecure in general. How can I find out his intentions so that we can have a shot at reconciliation or at least a real friendship again where there's not all this tension underlying everything? Please please help. Thank you so much
