@MsVirgoSunshine
18 Years
How to handle a Pisces man...
When I start telling him about some of the good things that are happening for me, he will say thats good and ask me if he can call me back. Should I continue to let him initiate the phone calls and messages in hopes that he will see that I don't need to beg him for anything or should I pick up the phone and tell him that things need to change. I want to tell him how I feel as soon as possible. I do not feel like I have being valued the way I should be. I don't feel like I am being shown the respect and support that I am giving him. I feel he wants me to just praise him and not talk about the good things that are happening in my life. I am getting really tired. What should I do?
I did tell him my feelings and he would throw things in my face. When I say something he doesn't know how to respond to, he will get quite and then attack. Not by name calling but, by telling me I don't know what I am talking about or implying that things are my fault.
quiet*
I brought something to his attention a couple of days ago and he told me "We never talk about anything good anymore." I then asked him how he has been and if anything new happened, he said everything was fine. He didn't seem to be bothered. I thought about what he said and I messaged him and asked him when was the last time we talked about something that wasn't good. I don't recall anything negative in a while. When we had talked lately, it was always about his new job position and family. I brought up some good things about me and what I was discovering about the qualities within myself. He cuts me short when I want to talk about the good things in my life.
I forgot to say that we are long distance so, I would get to see him face to face until the end of this month.
I am going to tell him how I feel. It seems that acting like I am not bothered by his lack of attention has only made things worse. The happier I appear, the progressively worse it gets.
"Should I continue to let him initiate the phone calls and messages in hopes that he will see that I don't need to beg him for anything or should I pick up the phone and tell him that things need to change. I want to tell him how I feel as soon as possible. I do not feel like I have being valued the way I should be. I don't feel like I am being shown the respect and support that I am giving him. I feel he wants me to just praise him and not talk about the good things that are happening in my life. I am getting really tired. What should I do?"
"I did tell him my feelings and he would throw things in my face. When I say something he doesn't know how to respond to, he will get quite and then attack. Not by name calling but, by telling me I don't know what I am talking about or implying that things are my fault."
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I think you should just keep hanging on to feel like you aren't being valued, respected, while praising him .... and you should continue to tell him things which makes him attack you .. afterall this is what you deserve for speaking your mind to him, anyway.
don't you know all that ^^^^^^
You should know it .. you've been doing it willling all this time, so why ask us?
"I did tell him my feelings and he would throw things in my face. When I say something he doesn't know how to respond to, he will get quite and then attack. Not by name calling but, by telling me I don't know what I am talking about or implying that things are my fault."
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I think you should just keep hanging on to feel like you aren't being valued, respected, while praising him .... and you should continue to tell him things which makes him attack you .. afterall this is what you deserve for speaking your mind to him, anyway.
don't you know all that ^^^^^^
You should know it .. you've been doing it willling all this time, so why ask us?
Seriously .... if you can write all this in here, knowing it's wrong, and then still ask what to do .... then this means you are like everybody else in here.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Look a car is coming ... let's cross the road now.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Look a car is coming ... let's cross the road now.
Same principal ^^^^^^
Look how he's treating me, he makes me feel aweful ....... how do I keep him?
Look how he's treating me, he makes me feel aweful ....... how do I keep him?
I dont believe this is going to work either. Usually when I see some one negatively, its extremely hard for anyone to get back into my good graces. Im not sure if he really cares about you either, that or he has a very big problem that he is not talking about. I never really saw pisces and virgo to be a great match. They just have a hard time understanding each other because they think on two different levels. In order to love some one, you need to understand and trust them. If you cant understand them, you cant love them. You are a beautiful woman and this seems to be a lot of senseless drama. You have ample opportunities to get a man that lives near you and not waste your time with this loser.
There seems to be a heavy communication problem here and both of you are already hyper sensitive around each other. This relationship is not worth the drama in your life and its not moving forward. A very negative pisces is a very bad pisces to be around. They can be very moody, dark, vicious, and secretive. Not worth the effort. move on.
There seems to be a heavy communication problem here and both of you are already hyper sensitive around each other. This relationship is not worth the drama in your life and its not moving forward. A very negative pisces is a very bad pisces to be around. They can be very moody, dark, vicious, and secretive. Not worth the effort. move on.
You are probably right that it might have been a bit harsh. Stuff like that just really gets my goat, I really despise drama in general. So appologies for my statement, I just want the best for whatever happens.
I am going to say that I do care about him and I guess I am hoping that things will turn around. Outside of the modeling, things were good. However, it seems like things are falling off. When I hear from him, its as though everything is great. However, if everything was great, I would be hearing from him more and I wouldn't have to feel like I am being ignored. When I do hear from him, its like he is super happy and he is doing great. He is lovable then. However, he goes back into that stage and that is why I have been waiting for him to call and contact me. He isn't a bad man, he just acts differently from time to time. He can be caring and loving however, there are these times in which you cannot ask him anything or expect much from him. I am the first one he calls when something is happening though. I would like to save everything and for things to improve. I just don't want to listen to him and hear him out on everything yet, I can't have any comfort too. I want that to change. I want him to be there for me, like I am there for him.
I also don't want the relationship decisions to come only from him and what he wants to do. I want it to be equal and for him to consider my views without taking it upon himself to tell me where we are going to stand if I don't move where he is or decide I want to pursue something. When I stop calling, he decides that everything is ok and he is more open to what I would like to do or putting more into the relationship. I don't want to have to not call and let him do all the calling to feel he is willing to show me consideration.
I also don't want to feel like my face is being washed with things I have done for him because he doesn't want to do something for me. If you are telling someone that you need your woman where you are and you don't want a long distance relationship for long, you should tell that person that moving to your state was their idea. Every time it comes down to me asking for something, he doesn't want to because its my idea. Those of my grievances.
shouldnt*
Your last three posts have been about what about you want, idealistically ..... and how you want him to change to become this person, which isn't realistic.
A person is, and that's all.
If a person isn't who you need then you are supposed to keep moving until you find this person ... instead, you would stay, while desiring he be someone else.
He isn't going to change .... I'm unclear why people can't get this?
Would you change? Would you stop all of this complaining you're doing and give in to everythin he wants you to be? Quite desiring to be a model and move to his town.
If you expect him to change for you .... then you have to be willing to change for him.
You already said you don't want to and you are going to stay on your path ... so, now it makes you a hypocrite ... because you are expecting him to do something you aren't willing to do yourself.
Leave the poor man alone, and go bug somebody else about changing.
A person is, and that's all.
If a person isn't who you need then you are supposed to keep moving until you find this person ... instead, you would stay, while desiring he be someone else.
He isn't going to change .... I'm unclear why people can't get this?
Would you change? Would you stop all of this complaining you're doing and give in to everythin he wants you to be? Quite desiring to be a model and move to his town.
If you expect him to change for you .... then you have to be willing to change for him.
You already said you don't want to and you are going to stay on your path ... so, now it makes you a hypocrite ... because you are expecting him to do something you aren't willing to do yourself.
Leave the poor man alone, and go bug somebody else about changing.
I have accepted what he as chosen as a life style . I have never dictated the relationship's development based on not liking a specific job or hobby he has. I just would like the same respect. I don't want to be the only one that is forced to make sacrifices. I have made quite a few however, when I realized that it was being used against me, I stopped. All I want is to get the same respect and consideration I give him which is not that much to ask for. I have never told him he needed to quite a job or stop pursuing something that is important to him. Also, if he had a problem, I have always listened to him. I don't want a 75/25 or even a 80/20 relationship. I don't want to not be able to come and talk to him however, he can talk to me whenever he wants and about anything he wants. I would like things to change and that is why I am blogging for insight. I want to know how to get through to him.
He isnt giving you this respect though. If you have talked to him about this, then your peace has been said. You are running in circles here. "I dont want to leave him because hes generally a nice guy, but Im not satisfied." That's a circle and you got to do something to break it. Your way clearly hasn't worked so far because you are still confused and need help. You don't want to give him up, so I would suggest you be satisfied instead if that is the case.
You are not going to get through to some one that doesn't WANT TO CHANGE. This is a very hard concept to understand, but nobody has control over another human being and how they act or feel. However you do have control how to handle these situations. Either he will make the change or he doesn't and that is his choice. As is his choice to lose you if you are unsatisfied with his behavior. There is nothing you can say that will make him see it your way because you already told him. Havent you? Then what else can you do besides sit and wait or leave and find better?
If he doesn't change his behavior, you need to change the way you deal with the situation. It takes TWO to fix a problem. You are only asking us, "How can I mold him into being the man I want?" The answer is, "he would have already been automatically, just the way he is." If he is not...then he is not the man you want.
You got enough evidence to say...its over:
1. He doesnt support you when you need him
2. You feel you are making more sacrifices than he is
3. He didnt respect your pursuit of modeling (from what I understood)
4. You are long distance and communication isn't satisfying.
5. When you tell him about the good things happening to you, he leaves.
6. When you discuss something that seems a bit negative, he gets fussy.
What else could we tell you to do? What do you think you will do if this doesn't change? Is this really worth it in the end? Keep talking to him if you want...but all Im seeing is probably more problems from him.
You are not going to get through to some one that doesn't WANT TO CHANGE. This is a very hard concept to understand, but nobody has control over another human being and how they act or feel. However you do have control how to handle these situations. Either he will make the change or he doesn't and that is his choice. As is his choice to lose you if you are unsatisfied with his behavior. There is nothing you can say that will make him see it your way because you already told him. Havent you? Then what else can you do besides sit and wait or leave and find better?
If he doesn't change his behavior, you need to change the way you deal with the situation. It takes TWO to fix a problem. You are only asking us, "How can I mold him into being the man I want?" The answer is, "he would have already been automatically, just the way he is." If he is not...then he is not the man you want.
You got enough evidence to say...its over:
1. He doesnt support you when you need him
2. You feel you are making more sacrifices than he is
3. He didnt respect your pursuit of modeling (from what I understood)
4. You are long distance and communication isn't satisfying.
5. When you tell him about the good things happening to you, he leaves.
6. When you discuss something that seems a bit negative, he gets fussy.
What else could we tell you to do? What do you think you will do if this doesn't change? Is this really worth it in the end? Keep talking to him if you want...but all Im seeing is probably more problems from him.
"How can I mold him into being the man I want?"
:::: shakes head ::::
You don't hear a word people say to you, do you?
Again .. you can NOT change a person .. you can NOT mold another person into being someone you want.
:::: shakes head ::::
You don't hear a word people say to you, do you?
Again .. you can NOT change a person .. you can NOT mold another person into being someone you want.
True that
You cannot change a person or mold them to who you want them to be, you wouldn't do it for someone else so why are they expected to do it for you?
The questions should be:
Can I live and love this person the way we are?
How can I make it work with him?
Will I be happy with this?
Am I willing to except everything on offer and the way it is?
So stop asking how can I change and start with is this what I want?
You cannot change a person or mold them to who you want them to be, you wouldn't do it for someone else so why are they expected to do it for you?
The questions should be:
Can I live and love this person the way we are?
How can I make it work with him?
Will I be happy with this?
Am I willing to except everything on offer and the way it is?
So stop asking how can I change and start with is this what I want?
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He wanted me to move where he was and live with him, without any job or means of stability. He said he could take care of me and help me pursue my dream. Considering the fact that he didn't support me before, I can't really buy that. I just told him that I didn't think that is a good idea. I asked him about moving out here because there are more jobs opening up. He told me that if I expected him to just pick up and move, I was crazy. I wanted to know why I had to be the one to move to be closer to him and he didn't even care if I had a job or not. The calls stopped for a few day... After, he told me that he was going to consider moving out here as well.
He will stop calling for days now, I will see him online all the time for hours or he will be playing xbox and he won't talk to me. Out of the blue, I will get a call from him and I will ask him if he is mad at me. I have been waiting for him to call me because I got tired of him trying to imply that I was pushing things or everything is my idea when it is not. I brought up how he suggested I move where he was however, he would just through in my face how he was too scared to go out on a limb and I seduced him. I got tired of it. There was a time when I saw him online and he typing to his friends and I give a call, he wouldn't answer. When he called, he made up some excuse. He will make up an excuse(Im sick or soul searching) and tell me about how happy he is and all of the good things that are happening for him. I will tell him I am proud of him. Then he will discuss how he can't wait to see me and how he misses me.