I'm about to reveal my lies to this girl I...love

If I truely loved her how could I have lied to her in the first place right? My answer to that would be..because I loved her..but no one truely understands..It's a long story that started a couple months ago. I met this scorpio girl who was getting out of a horrible marriage that she hated. She had been unhappily married for 5 years, she told me she felt like she HAD to get married, so she felt like a prisoner all these years. We found eachother and omg, it was surreal, the chemistry was there and it was magic, we fell in love fast..too fast. But we weren't in control of any of it. I was fascinated with her, and she was in me. She told me it was as if she was meant to find me, sooner or later in life.

The problem? well I started to lie. Very early on anyways before the relationship got serious, i never saw us getting this close at that point. I lied about my age and occupation. The eerie part about it is I've found i'm a very good liar. And i'm not happy with myself. But alot of times I find myself "playing roles" if that particular role makes the other person happy. So i'll become it because them being happy makes me happy. Its sickening, but i couldn't stop myself from doing it, don't get me wrong i wanted too, but then she would call. She literally saw me as some prince charming who was coming to save her and show her a side of life she never got to see. Overwhelming to say the least, but i wanted to be it. Because she had been through so much DRAMA.

So she was only here for a short bit then flew back to her town. She wants me to go and visit her and start a life with her there. I have no problem doing that. But here's where the guilt came in. Over our phone convo's she told me alot of personal stuff. Like how she was molested as a child by her step father from age 6-16. Betrayed by countless "friends". Cheated on by her husband countless times. Unhappily married of course but also forced to do certain sexual things she didn't like doing for her husbands pleasure (not pretty stuff i wont go into detail). Lied to endlessly and Many nights spent crying by herself. She started to tell me because of all this she has trust issues, and rightly so. Who could blame her?

But i thought to myself WTF am i doing lying to her. How I could i live with myself being another one of her sad stories. OMG the guilt is eating me up inside its insane. I feel sooooo sorry for this girl, and i do love her, i want to be her angel she thinks i am, but lets face it im n

..........but lets face it im not?
I got her to believe all my lies. And trust me, she is very keen on things. She has eyes that'll see through anyone and anything..but she failed to see through me before it got this far..now the guilt has built up so much that I feel I need to come out and tell the truth to her. Reveal my lies and she can decide whether she still wants me in the end or not. I just would rather do this before I do move down there for good and really do up hurting her. I DO NOT want to be another sad page in her book. The only reason I kept ?pretending? to be someone I wasn't was because I've never felt this way about a girl before. I didn't want to break her heart, I wanted to fill her heart with the dreams and hopes she's never had before..the problem is that it's all false hope.

All she's told me really made me think. Our talk about her trust issues really made me think. She was speaking in general terms, about how she has to tread cautiously in relationships now because of her past. OMG I wanted to stab myself..WTF was I doing?

So tomorrow I'm just gonna reveal my lies. Which are really only those 2 mentioned above. She can verbally abuse me all she wants and rightly so. There might be a lot of crying and just overall not something I look forward too. Am I saying things can't work out ever..no..if she can accept me after the lies, and understand why I lied, then maybe I can be what I want to be for her. She needs to make that decision though. I just have to do this to get it off my chest?I feel like a prisoner.

TP .. to lie about ones occupation .. well, I would suspect most people have done this to some extent. A house painter might say he's a Paint Contractor. Is this a lie in reality? No, except to say contracter, instead of painter, suggests to someone that you own your own business, rather than work for another. A plain old secretary will rarely say that .. people don't mean to lie to be evil .. it just makes people feel bad if all they are is a janitor .. that part isn't so bad. You could just play it off as though you were embarrassed because is all you do for a living.

The age, though, this could seriously be an unresolvable issue .. how much difference did you say? Are you a minor (sleeping with her), telling her you're an adult?

Also, certainly, you've heard of the term, "The Rebound" .. she is currently having this condition because of her bad marriage .. you look like a Knight in Shinning Armor to her .. it's possible that these feelings she has for you will fade or pass. I don't mean to make you loose hope, but, reality IS reality. If her relationship was that bad, then her rebound condition could be seriously clouding her.

How old are you, and, how old did you tell her you were?

"How old are you, and, how old did you tell her you were?"

I told her I was 24. I'm 21. She's 28. Yeah..see why 24 seemed more appealing? BUT this lie was said VERY early on before there was a sure sign our feelings were going to develop. I was like "eh 24 sounds cooler so there" and age was never discussed again.

I told her i was an engineer. Also this was said VERY early on during that same convo. We're talking week 1 here. In reality i work retail. This only became a guilt factor when she started to tell me "oh great, my stepfather can hook you up with work in town, he owns a construction company" The occupation lie is bound to come and bite me in the ass sooner or later.

I'll be straight up honest. At the beginning the attraction was purely sexual. There was always something about her beyond sexual. A connection that just couldn't be put into words. But all I wanted was the sex at that point. And boy was it everything you could imagine...but then feelings grew..and grew..and grew..I know for a damn FACT I was emotionally there for her like no man has ever been before..and im not trying to sound cocky..I KNOW i was (i'm great emotional support in general)..and she needs that considering all she's been through in life. So i was appealing in many aspects to her. That's where the whole "knight in shining armor" thing comes from like you say.

But im not a knight in shining armor. "nothing is ever as good as it seems" is a great quote for this story. I just wish she figured that out sooner before getting so attached to me, would have made life easier for me. But then i became attached to her, and wanted to heal her wounds, I couldn't help myself and could never bring myself to come forth and be honest in fear of breaking her heart, and being another sad page out of a her very thick book of em.

The whole thing is going on 3 months now..the end of next month im supposed to move to her..and she couldn't be more thrilled..oh and she's the cutest thing ever OMG if you saw her and heard her you'd feel like **** to.

I hate myself..

o boy...

not chickeny, c0kie, but eh same thing i guess right

you seriously altered her life.
This is gonna hurt.
It wouldnt have lasted anyway (28-"24")

"you seriously altered her life."

technically. I haven't truely become a part of her life until i offically move to her. Which would be the next step. I'm giving her the oppritunity to put a end to it tomorrow. She can make that decision based off what i tell her.

I'm coming forth early, not early enough i know, but its the best i can do. I don't like to think im breaking her heart like the really sad stuff she's been through. Hopefully my lying doesn't compare. I really did wanna help her...but i've realized she needs a man and not a boy. I best just turn around.

You DID alter it...whether your there or not.

She has built up this unknown fantasy...ALL your fault.
Thats messed up...

Hopefully she cant put away all the bullshit folk in her life...soon

"She has built up this unknown fantasy...ALL your fault."

she's just as responsible for the fantasy as I am. If she wasn't so susceptible she wouldn't have built up so much hope, so fast. And its not like i was taking advantage of her in weakness, I really did wanna make her feel like there's a bright side to life (considering the stuff she's been through). I didn't lie out of spite like you may think. I only kept not telling her the truth in fear the truth would break her again.

whatever i'm not gonna argue that it wasn't wrong what i did. I took it too far I know. Our convo about her trust issues made me think and really made me feel like ****. Like wtf am i doing.

what's funny is everyone says pisces have the best intuition. Well i think her's has been pinching at her ever since the beginning. So maybe there's some pisces in her idk. It wasn't enough though as she's failed to listen to it and now im just gonna step in and do it for her.

fitting name.

ya think?

🙂

Ur 21 so I know I would do similar things to you if in this position - ie feel insecure lie about status of job and age...totally understand why - you can like the person and lie about stuff like that, especially when you feel younger and less experienced in life. Be cool tell her the truth and explain that you saw yourself as a boy not a man..she will realise how young you are and prob realise lots of your behaviour was 'sweet' young mans stuff that she did'nt get off her ex spose.
Dont worry bout the other comments from those pisces girls..stay cool. you'll be the least of this girls worries due to her troubled background, sounds like trouble will follow her for some time, and its no place for a young-un to be. chill and chip off !

Agreed ..

TP, a lot of women will base how they feel around you according to whether a man can take care of her, or not. That came out wrong .. a woman will love you for who you are, but, also it's inherent within the female to strive to find a man to whom she can multiply, in so doing, a man who has a job that can provide financial security WILL actually make her fall for a guy deeper, than just a guy working in a clothing store.

I wouldn't be so hasty in just jumpig out there with the truth without really wieghing this out .. this could really tear her to pieces, not to mention, it will tear you up watching her crumble .. this has to be done the right way.

My dear Twistedpisces.......you feel bad, you have told a couple of untruths, you now intend to rectify the situation and you appear very contrite and full of good intentions now. And that should be good enough for anyone...as I always say to make mistakes is our birthright. You didn't set out to harm anyone with your age and job CV slightly altered beyond reality:-) - you were trying to impress like everyone does and it got out of hand.

My long ago husband told me when we met that he was the Manager of a Chemical Plant...I remember going home and telling my parents - they were very SO impressed. However, he turned out to be a factory hand in it!!! Another lover told me he was older than he was so just to be with me.....in neither circumstance did I feel like collapsing into puddles!!:-), heart-broken! or throwing a tantrum. When they admitted their indiscretions, I just said fair enough - there's nothing more attractive than a heartfelt sorry after honestly sharing your "foibles" for want of a better word.

So don't go thinking yourself into a crisis....say what you have to say, say it with feeling and honesty.....don't meander too much into the whys and wherefores - probably less is best in this situatuion..........and drop the "Twisted" - I like the guy I see you becoming, I like your honesty - so get up "Fallen Angel" and start to fly:-)

Best wishes........

alana x

The age difference only mattered if you were a minor, posing as an adult.

DC, the problem with doing it that way is that later, if the relationship becomes long-term, she'll alway be bringing up about him going back to his career.

TP, maybe try thinking about telling her that you have to break up with her because you don't want to hurt her, you don't want to and you love her so very much, but, you did something really stupid at the beginning of the relationship and you didnt' realize you were going to love her so damn much .. because of how special she is to you, you can't bear to hurt her .. so, you won't.

It's doubtful that she'll just let you walk away like that .. if she truly loves you, she'll make you tell her whatever it is that was the fuck up .. if she truly loves you, she will be able to get past this.

Just some thoughts on how to tell her and still keep her ...

What does she do for a living?

Alana's right .. my husband lied to me to impress me at the beginning of the relationship. Everybody does ..

.. she could have been lying to you too, about something and is sitting back right now trying to figure out how to tell you .. you never know.

"What does she do for a living?"

She's a nurse at an elderly home. About whether she's also holding in lies and doesn't know how to say em..sorry but that is SO not her style . In fact, if there's 1 turn off I have with her it's the fact that she's BRUTALLY honest. Moreso with herself than towards others, but brutally honest all the same. There is no veil of mystery with her, what you see is what you get. She also doesn't bother to play the whole flatter game, which on the contray is something I do, so that's an area where we differ. She doesn't nessisarly have a charisma that draws you in, she's funny and goofy at times, but often shells up if too much pressure is put on her.

What she is on the other hand is HIGHLY sexual and flaunts it like nobodys buisness. That's where the attraction comes in. That's her game. And that's honestly what drawed me in like a magnet in the very beginning.

Alana, Thanks for the support. Your right about me not setting out to harm anyone when I lied in the beginning. Harming anyone period is just not my style . I was trying to impress, but also maybe trying to make up for things that I felt I wasn't. What's funny is knowing her now, she could really care less about any of that stuff. I do treat her like a princess. She would constantly tell me things like "where did you come from", "your too good to be true", and "who does and says these kinda things". I know for a fact she is madly in love with me, because I feel her, and it's very intense and sometimes it leaves me at a loss for words. The only thing that has kept me here is seeing her with so many emotional wounds, I just feel like i need to be here for her. Even if i get dumped down the road i'll feel satisfied knowing that i served some kind of purpose in her life.

P-Angel, your right about maybe thinking this through before just going straight to her and revealing it all in such a hasty manner. She WILL cry and it will hurt me just as much watching her. She won't let me just walk away, I already know it. She'll be too confused to make any thoughtful descision. There was 1 very sad thing she said in a conversation 1 time. She told me that if i'm having doubts about moving to her, and she feels im starting to peddle back in this relationship, she wants to be the 1 to do the dumping. She's been ****** on so many times in life she said, she couldn't bare going through that again. All that hope built up for nothing just to get dropped? She'd kill herself.

and I honestly would have no problem playing that role. I'd let myself be the one to get ****** on just to give her that satisfaction she's never had in life.

"There is no veil of mystery with her, what you see is what you get."

Having secrets defines Scorpio, TP.

Seriously, you need to really go to the Scorpio board and talk to them for awhile to gain some insight into the Scorpion nature .. what you see is NEVER completely what there is to get.

Food for thought: They are just as good at keeping secrets as the Pisces is at lying.

If this is true love between you .. she'll be able to get past all this. However, you must keep in mind, once a Scorpio's trust has been betrayed, the road to redemption won't be easy .. it's not going to be easy, TP.

Good Luck and I hope everything turns out for the both of you to find happiness.

P-Angel, while there may be many more secrets for me to uncover later in life, if you look at my original post you will see that she's found it very easy to open up to me and has told me alot about her past. They can be good at keeping secrets all they want, if there is one that can see right through them it's us pisces. Maybe not so much see right through em, but get those secrets out of them with little effort.

I don't need to go the scorpio board to gain insight on them, my mother is a scorpio and I know ALL there is to know about them. I see right through them like a pristine piece of glass.

I think scorpio's find it very easy to open up to us pisces and reveal alot about themselves with sometimes us not really even trying to get things out of them.

Maybe I should have rephrased that. To me, what I see is what I get.

TP, I wasn't trying to offend you .. my point was, maybe she is holding something back, too, that she didn't want to tell you at first .. but, now since you two have fallen for each other faster, harder than you thought .. she might be thinking the same thing you are now .. that there's something she needs to tell you, that she withheld. If this is the case, she'll not be so upset that you've got something to tell her, too.

i think you may be able to sqeak around the age issue, TwistedPisces...

as for the rest...

"The only reason I kept ?pretending? to be someone I wasn't was because I've never felt this way about a girl before. I didn't want to break her heart, I wanted to fill her heart with the dreams and hopes she's never had before..the problem is that it's all false hope."

"But alot of times I find myself "playing roles" if that particular role makes the other person happy. So i'll become it because them being happy makes me happy."

**expand and explain on these things to her with ALL your sincerity, every last bit of it, speak from your heart like you never have...'wipe the slate clean once and for all, and if she does forgive you, (it will take alot of time and trust to build this back up for her, it won't be easy) look upon it as a blessing..*and start your life anew with each other..everything open and on the table henceforth, with reality towing the line..*there's not much else you can do...'hopefully she will feel your remorse and sincerity...'but most importantly, you have to believe in yourself..'that who you are now, at this moment, is what is mean't to be...*and hopefully she will love you for that..

...As for false hope..'that is only temporary..'You are young and can do and be anything you want to be.. *wishing you much luck...

PA, that's very true, and I would actually hope she was harboring some secret she's had trouble getting out herself and takes the oppritunity to let it out, would make the whole thing easier. But for some reason i seriously doubt there is.

With her, and I think scorps in general, if they feel a certain way about a certain situation they let it be known, not so much to hurt others their just really honest with themselves. This is defenitly the case with her anyways. This is what i meant about the no mystery thing. She doesn't pretend for the sake of pretending.

About them keeping past pain all bundled up inside and never letting it out, this is where them having secrets comes from. So yes your right about this. Oh and i know about scorps being vicious beings if betrayed. You don't need to tell me about it lol. Having a scorp mother I got to see just how resentful they get.

Mystic-fish, Thanks for the awesome post. That's really the only option I have at the end of the day. Put it all on the table for her and let her decide where she wants to go from here, she can forgive or she can punish, it's all in her hands after that. You really gave me hope with that post.

If she truely forgives me and more importantly understands me and wishes to start from a clean slate, i'm more than willing to continue life with her. I adore the hell out of her.

"I found that Scorp women are good at manipulating men by making a guy feel sorry for him. Then they turn around and lose all respect for him, because they prefer men who see right through them, and ca&'t be manipulated into doing what they want. Just what Ive noticed about Scorp women. It sounds like you are falling into that game, I doubt her life hasn't been nearly as bad as she says it is. And have you ever thought that maybe she brings it on herself? I also think you may be overestimating the value you are to her."


Branh, I actually think her life has been worse than she even realizes or is willing to come to grips with. I don't get where your going with the whole manipulation thing, your way off base there, especially when it pertains to me. Sorry, I don't let myself get manipulated, especially by a scorp female. Oh, and she knows i see right through her. she's even told me before that it's eerie.

If you think she started to tell me her sad stories for me to feel bad and for to get her way your wrong. She hesitated and when I finally did get them out of her they came out in a "matter of fact" way. Not in a "feel sorry for my wounded self" way. So again, your off base but i see what you were getting at.

They say that the Scorpio/Pisces combo goes deeper than any other .. I would tend to believe this, though, I've not experienced it on an intimate level. However, my son is a Scorpio and him and I have been able to delve into each other's psyche beyond any other person him, or I, have encountered. We can actually talk to each other through our minds .. so, I fully believe that you have this connection with her.

Try not to beat yourself up with the initial lies .. if this union is meant to be, it will be so. Furthermore, once all the cards are on the table (both sides), they will be the foundation for you when problems arise in the future .. meaning, the two of you will think, "If we can get past that and still love each other THIS much, then we can face anything".

It's always nice to hear about a real love story .. most people are in here because the love isn't there and they want to find a way to make it so.

Don't forget to come back and give us an update .. success stories are always beautiful.

"because they prefer men who see right through them, and ca&'t be manipulated into doing what they want"
as a scorpio female i Would agree with that statement

"I also think you may be overestimating the value you are to her."

if i am hurt and betrayed very badly you would be suprised how even the love of my life wouldnot exist for me!
but i dont think your lies something major, not to be able to forgive and forget!but i would advise not to lie again because she will be very cautious to trust you.

Hey, no problem, and GOOD LUCK, again TwistedPisces, You have the full sincerity of your love and passion for her on 'your side...one can sense this very easily as you speak..*You know what's truly in Your heart, the rest will find its way, if it was truly mean't to be, it will be..*take care..

I dated a scorpio for three years and like you, the chemistry was electric and everything went fast. Scorpios are good at keeping secrets and yes, we pisces eventually see through them but they are great at it.

Not to scare you, but they are not that forgiving. If i were you, i'd hurry and tell her and let her make her decision. if you've made an impression on her, when you're gone, she'll think about it and won't be able to stop thinking about you until you come back to her.

honestly, what you did is not that bad. it's totally forgiveable. you're not a bad person for doing it and you don't deserve to be hung on a meat hook for it either. you've tried very hard to offer her the best part of you and the lying just makes you human. if she expects you to be perfect then she isnt looking at you for what you've been to her. no one is perfect, not even her, no matter how much you love her. and if she can't accept you for who you are at your worst, then she could never accept you for who you are at your best. love, in my opinion, is about growing together. all she has done is make you realize that you need to take a more mature approach. if there is one thing that women love, it's being able to help a man realize something... anything about himself. it would tell her all of that when telling her the truth. it gives her a lot to think about.

I have to say good luck to you. not to discourage you, but in my experience, scorpios always have a lot of "issues" that they need sympathy and extra love for, but most of the time with them being so angry on the inside, they inflict poison on poor pisceans and leave us scarred for life. I truly hope in your case that it doesnt work out that way. I honestly wish you good luck. But if you start to feel like you have to walk on egg shells around her else she'll crucify you, GET OUT OF THERE!

Scorpio's make great friends to hang out with...but I wouldn't date one. Their mind works too close to home to the Pisces and theres a fine line between having a deep connection and things just getting creepy. Don't worry about the role playing thing thats what we Pisces do because our life is a movie and we are the stars! Put the Scorpio movie on the shelf and begin the casting call for the next adventurerous saga.

Twisted Pisces,
You just lied about your age and occupation? (That's it?) Man, tell her. I really don't see what's the big problem. I thought the lie was something huge. Haven't you seen Desperate Housewives? No one gives a shit about age. Besides, you're legal. If she's really digging the connection, she'll forgive you, but she'll probably make you promise never to lie again. -Dreamy-Eyez, out-

PS: Be advised that my Aries Ascendent is in effect today.

Silly fool why could you lie to someone you love dearly

"Silly fool why could you lie to someone you love dearly" - eh, me thinketh alot of learnin' about life, love etc. is going to be coming your way Crazy L:-) in the not too distant future:-)


Dreamy:-) PS: Be advised that my Aries Ascendent is in effect today - we're lovin' it and its effect on you Dreamy:-)

A x

fk it take my advice and ignore all the others.....tell her the truth HOPE that shes not happy and doesnt want to see you again, this is best result for you....

then wake up couple of years later , couple of years wiser YOU WILL BE SO FKN HAPPY YOU NEVER WENT DOWN THIS ROUTE..........trust the taurus...ha ha.
chill do as i say and you will become a baby ninja, the training has begun young padwan.