Is cheating in a relationship... (Page 3)

The 2% would be due to a faulty condom, because they were used correctly...




Anyway. See ya later.

Well you can meet and fall in love with someone who already has an STD, which they may have contracted from a single partner (it only takes one time,) and despite the fact that the two of you are in a committed relationship or not... you will still contract the STD from them.

STDs don't just happen in open relationships. I'm just saying.

Maybe I really didn't understand the OP, because basically I just got the idea that he thinks you're only going to be offended by being cheated on if you're insecure.

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by brianafay
Well you can meet and fall in love with someone who already has an STD, which they may have contracted from a single partner (it only takes one time,) and despite the fact that the two of you are in a committed relationship or not... you will still contract the STD from them.

STDs don't just happen in open relationships. I'm just saying.

That's true, but at least you would be given a choice (assuming the other person is honest with you) and you'll get to weigh whether your SO is worth the decision or not.

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Yes, if they are aware they are infected.
There are several STDs in which there are little to no symptoms, as well as a couple in which men only act as carriers and usually do not know they are carrying and transmitting to the women they sleep with.

:/

You'll never be 100% safe. That's the treacherous reality I'm afraid.

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by brianafay
Maybe I really didn't understand the OP, because basically I just got the idea that he thinks you're only going to be offended by being cheated on if you're insecure.

As OP it's his duty to clearly deliver his message. Otherwise we should study Egyptology.

Right now he lost ground and he's being his wishy-washy minnow nuggets self...And flippy flopping to cut his loses.

And I LOLed 😉

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I kind of felt that's why he was posing his statements as hypothetical questions. Because he didn't want to just come out and say what he meant. He wanted to feel people out first.


That's fine. I'm just saying though.

I look at it like this: if you want to be free, uncommitted, not tied down, or restricted to just one person...why bother getting into a "relationship" and treating it as a relationship in the traditional sense?
I don't get anyone's point in an "open relationship." I'd really appreciate someone explaining this to me. SERIOUSLY

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by brianafay

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by brianafay
Well you can meet and fall in love with someone who already has an STD, which they may have contracted from a single partner (it only takes one time,) and despite the fact that the two of you are in a committed relationship or not... you will still contract the STD from them.

STDs don't just happen in open relationships. I'm just saying.

That's true, but at least you would be given a choice (assuming the other person is honest with you) and you'll get to weigh whether your SO is worth the decision or not.

Yes, if they are aware they are infected.
There are several STDs in which there are little to no symptoms, as well as a couple in which men only act as carriers and usually do not know they are carrying and transmitting to the women they sleep with.

:/

You'll never be 100% safe. That's the treacherous reality I'm afraid.

I know that you're talking about HPV for the most part. I also know you can't be 100% safe but I'd rather die for someone I love than for someone who barely knows my name or whose definition of 'love' is to go around and sleep with other people...We have to weigh our choices and go from there. As far as numbers go, we can die just by going outside, we might end up tripping and cracking our skull open. Certain things are worth taking the risk, others are not. And that's my thesis...

I take a bullet for those I love.

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That was so romantical. 😛

Posted by CappyLuv30
Open relationships = Single

I never understood the logic behind them. Geez, I'm sucha Cap 😛

It makes me want to pull my hair out! I just don't get it.
Maybe it is my Venus in Cap after all.

I always thought it was the way I was raised, but I don't think that's the case...because there are many things I was raised to believe that I now completely disregard.

^ Makes perfect sense. Be as raucous and freaky as you like with a partner. No one else. There's the real freedom.

Well STDs don't even play a role in my reasoning against open relationships honestly.

In fact, I really don't even mind the concept behind them...exploring your options, expanding your horizons *coughspeadingyourlegsforlotsapeoplecough* WHATEVER 😛 I just don't understand how it's any different than being just uncommitted - single. Plain and simple. Why try and convince your S.O.(s) that they're any more important to you than anyone else. Because they're not?

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by brianafay
I look at it like this: if you want to be free, uncommitted, not tied down, or restricted to just one person...why bother getting into a "relationship" and treating it as a relationship in the traditional sense?
I don't get anyone's point in an "open relationship." I'd really appreciate someone explaining this to me. SERIOUSLY

Because it sounds nicer than saying you're 'whoring around'. That's why.

It's all euphemism...

i.e: menage a trois, cuckold husband, open relation, open marriage, swinging, polyamory, caudalism...

You get the idea...Feeble minds manifesting their objectification and corruption of the flesh happily holding hands with materialism of a decadent society...After all, it's all about instant gratification. No responsibilities, zero commitments.

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I think you're onto to something with the no responsibilities and instant gratification. 😛

So if open relationship=single, simply because you are allowed to have sex outside relationship (doesn't mean it happens, nor does it mean it happens often), than you're suggesting sex is the only thing that makes a relationship a relationship?


What about all other aspects of a relationship? Does that no longer count once one has permission to sleep outside of that relationship?

Its permission. It doesn't mean people in open relationships have all this sex with tons of people outside their relationship. I would imagine having the permission might make one less likely to do it, but that's another story.


The relationship is what makes it a relationship lol

They still behave as a couple. They do the same things other couples do. They are emotionally bonded, they might share finances, expenses, responsibilities, love each other, etc. just as other couples. But unlike other couples, when one feels like having sex outside of the relationship, instead of lying and cheating, they are open about it and allow it..I'm sure there are conditions, but that's the only difference.

Well there might be conditions on who they're not allowed to sleep with, for example, mutual friends, whatever. I don't know, could be anything. I would just imagine there would be some conditions.


Sounds like a good idea, but I think the issues arise if and when one of the partners gets emotionally attached outside of the relationship.

People should do what ever makes them happy though, as long as it's not hurting anyone else. Let it be.

If two people agree they like each other's company, they like getting naked together, doing their thing...but neither of them want to be constrained to just each other...they want to be free to do the same with other people. That's great for them. I'm happy to see it.

But what I really don't like is people like that thinking they are more evolved somehow, or more open-minded...
No. You just don't want to commit, as KP said you don't want the responsibility....you're just calling it something else. 😉

Eh. Conventional relationships have conditions, as well. Don't know what the big deal is.

"Gee an open relationship with "conditions"....where do I sign?"

"But what I really don't like is people like that thinking they are more evolved somehow, or more open-minded...
No. You just don't want to commit, as KP said you don't want the responsibility....you're just calling it something else."


I don't think they walk around acting like they're more evolved, but I do think dumbing their reasoning down to simply not wanting responsibility, and rolling your eyes and judging what you don't understand, is more indicative of the state of your own evolution, tbh.

Posted by CappyLuv30

Posted by MsPisces.
Eh. Conventional relationships have conditions, as well. Don't know what the big deal is.

Absolutely....so what would be the benefit in being in an open relationship if it is not........open? Conventional = serious. Right or wrong?

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You're shocked there are conditions, and are acting like conditions make it a joke. I'm saying conventional (no not serious, just more typical) also have conditions. Whether they are open or not, relationships have conditions.

Hell yeh! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO aPP!

"An OPEN relationship means no strings attached, it means free sex, it means fun, it means I'm single and don't feel like dealing with an individual's shit right now 24/7 because of XYZ reason so again....."


No, that's not what it means.


Perhaps you should seek to understand before you seek to condemn.

"But see in my head which apparently must be vintage.....me CappyLuv would see no point in being in an OPEN relationship that had conditions. An OPEN relationship means no strings attached, it means free sex, it means fun, it means I'm single and don't feel like dealing with an individual's shit right now 24/7 because of XYZ reason so again.....why would I, CappyLuv, consider an open, conventional relationship? I'm not sold. Sorry. I'm either all in or all out."

Yes, insert VB here too.

This is how prejudice, genocide, segregation, etc occur. People are so closed minded and think what they've been conditioned to believe true should be true for all. They fear which they don't understand and therefore persecute what they don't understand.


You guys have the exact same mindset of gay bashers, and don't even realize it.

Yes, that's what it means, Cappyluv. But that doesn't mean they're sleeping with tom dick and harry, and as soon as one of them pisses eachother off, they run off and sleep with someone else.

Nice. Now were referencing urban dictionary.

I digress.

Gay bashers my round, lily white ass. I have many homosexual friends, I could give two squirts of tinkle what they do in their bedroom as far as that goes.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by MsPisces.
This is how prejudice, genocide, segregation, etc occur. People are so closed minded and think what they've been conditioned to believe true should be true for all. They fear which they don't understand and therefore persecute what they don't understand.


You guys have the exact same mindset of gay bashers, and don't even realize it.

this is a really bad analogy.

we have two sides to the issue. just because someone would not choose this for themselves they are being related to gay bashers?

i don't believe anyone said they would go so far as to stand outside the congress steps to push for anti-open relationship laws.

everyone has their own unique opinion. right. wrong. indifferent. nobody has the right to judge any of them.

by you relating it to gay bashing, YOU are telling US that WE are wrong for feeling the way WE feel and not going into your corner.

just because we are not agreeing with you doesn't make you nor I fundamentally wrong.

take a stand and stand for it, but don't bash people for not agreeing with you.

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Its a perfect analogy.


I am not saying you should be in an open relationship yourself. I don't think I could be in one. That's not the issue.

It becomes an issue when you don't understand the nature of open relationships, and so jump to rash and harsh conclusions about the nature.

Saying they simply don't want responsibility, are disrespecting each other, are sleeping with lots of people, etc. is basically saying you think you're idea of a relationship is better than theirs. Those negative thoughts are the seed that fuels the hate that causes genocide, prejudice, etc. Same with gays. The thought of two men sleeping with eachother repulsed others, just as the thought of open relationships clearly repulse many here.

While you might not protest against them, another more aggressive person might..

Same thing with gay marriage. Many say gays have a right to be gay, they just don't agree they should marry. They are imposing their own beliefs on what a marriage should be onto others. Same with this. Many say they don't care if someone is an open relationship, but will be quick to judge them by saying they aren't really in a relationship, atleast not one worthy of the title 'relationship'

Posted by MsPisces.
"An OPEN relationship means no strings attached, it means free sex, it means fun, it means I'm single and don't feel like dealing with an individual's shit right now 24/7 because of XYZ reason so again....."


No, that's not what it means.


Perhaps you should seek to understand before you seek to condemn.

I know you weren't talking to me...but earlier I was trying to understand...never trying to condemn.
You never cared to explain. Only to tell me I was unevolved

Posted by ellessque

Posted by MsPisces.
This is how prejudice, genocide, segregation, etc occur. People are so closed minded and think what they've been conditioned to believe true should be true for all. They fear which they don't understand and therefore persecute what they don't understand.


You guys have the exact same mindset of gay bashers, and don't even realize it.

this is a really bad analogy.

we have two sides to the issue. just because someone would not choose this for themselves they are being related to gay bashers?

i don't believe anyone said they would go so far as to stand outside the congress steps to push for anti-open relationship laws.

everyone has their own unique opinion. right. wrong. indifferent. nobody has the right to judge any of them.

by you relating it to gay bashing, YOU are telling US that WE are wrong for feeling the way WE feel and not going into your corner.

just because we are not agreeing with you doesn't make you nor I fundamentally wrong.

take a stand and stand for it, but don't bash people for not agreeing with you.

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unfuckingbelievable. :/

lol @ me bashing and judging.


Umm last time I checked, everyone in here bashed and judged those in OPs. By me calling them out on it, that now makes me a basher and a judger?


So be it.

"And...gays have a fundamental, human right to love. No one has a fundamental, human right to open relationships."



lol They don't have a right to be in an open relationship??


Exactly my point ladies and gents.

Who did I attack?

Last I checked we were all growed up and haired over. Tea and cookies anyone? 😄

Bwahahahahaa Aries Mooooooon!

And Rey? Your woman cakes would NOT like dat. 😛

No need for peace agreements. I don't bring guns.

I'm an opinionated woman, and I don't care if the whole world disagrees with me, I will continue to stand. Doesn't make me hate anyone for disagreeing, and I would like to imagine the same goes for most here?


I just don't think there's a need for the chumbaya gathering, is all. A debate is a debate. I don't go around fire expecting not to sweat.

So anyway, what say you guys about swingers?




hahaha 😛 J/K

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by venusianbull
Bwahahahahaa Aries Mooooooon!

And Rey? Your woman cakes would NOT like dat. 😛

Due to our restricted open-relationship agreement I can have lap dances as long as she gets 'Nick the Dick' 😄

Bachlor Party - Nick the Dick - Watch the top videos of the week here

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Gawd Rey, what is it with you and that vid? 😛 No lap dance for you! Bull rules.

I don't share either. Bullish tendencies, what's mine is mine, or I'm picking up my marbles and going home. 😛

YEH! *doing Snoopy Dance*. MINE MINE MINE MINE! And let's review article C, subsection J, paragraph two! MINE! 😄

Love dem Earthy dudes too. —

Bwahahahaaa TG. 😄

I gets to hog all the caramels, the ones with nuts and the truffles. Everyone else can have the nasty fruit/citrus creams. Bleeeeeeeeeeeech.

Awwww, don't be askeered. 🙂

Psssst I brought truffles.

😄

Oh no Pesca. I did it to you again. Bad Bull, BAD! *holding out wrists for a tap*

LOL Very sweet dreams to you Pesca. Chocolate rules! 🙂 I can't help myself around it either.

Posted by Mistery
The op makes a lot of prejudiced assumptions. Sex between people who love each other is a physical manifestation of the love they share so when one partner wants to get their rocks off with another it is a betrayal of their intimacy. Yeah, intimacy, not a big word in the 21st century. We're all about immediate gratification and satisfying our selfish needs. Superficiality reigns supreme! If it feels good, how can it be bad?

Where are you getting that people want an exclusive relationship out of insecurity? The opposite is true, only insecure people would feel unworthy of love.

wow, nobody gets it.

I guess because the brain isn't able.

Read it again, and then again, and then again .. keep reading it until you have no other choice except to open yourself up to another perspective.

Posted by venusianbull
This is not about both sides of the Scales, this is about basic understanding on a very REAL level. I did not stand here before everyone and damn them to the Seventh Bolgia of Dante's Inferno, I stated MY truth. This is what I believe. What I know. And if that renders me the more closed minded of the argument. So be it.
This is about honesty, and honoring someone else. Respecting them, their feelings. THAT ( Open..wtfevah ) is not a relationship, it's a complete farce of everything it stands for.
Oh boo-hoo. Should I feel BADLY that my man knows exactly where he stands with me? Oh DEAR. I'm faithful. I'm such an asshole. The SHAME of wanting to have integrity, security and solidarity. I mean honestly, I should be taken out back by the hollyhocks and flogged.

VB, you pretend really good around here .... in reality, you're an asshole.

Posted by ellessque
instead of making all of us guess what your objective is Mr. OP, why don't you clearly state it?

otherwise this thread is pointless.

wow ... people have to have spelled out for them

Posted by Mistery

Because if you're saying that you can love someone and still have sex with another then what makes another sexually attractive to you? The face & body? It gets technical here since feelings aren't in play.

Feelings not in play?

Are you really this stupid?