My gran died today....

My dad's mum. At first it didn't register, not really, I've never been close to my dad's side of the family - he and my mum divorced when I was 7. But my dad came to see me earlier and it just hit me. I wish I had known her better, although I have great memories of her from when I was younger, she really was a sweet woman, but sharp as a knife and always with a quick quip or two, she was a Scorp......she had the most amazingly deep eyes ever.

Someone posted about how often do you think about death on the Scorp board. For me it was never, was too busy living. But this will be my 3rd funeral in the space of 10 months, first my eccentric aunt who died at the age of only 53 in October last year, then my stepdad's dad in December, and now my gran. Her husband, my dad's dad, is also dying of Cancer and will be lucky to see August now with my gran having passed.

Death doesn't scare me but losing people I care about does, especially losing them regretting having not spent more time with them. And as I watch my own dad in grief my thoughts turn to how I will be when I lose my own parents and I can't bear it.

It's made me resolve to spend more time with my family who I don't see very often. At least she died peacefully though, in her own home with her family around her and without being in pain. And she lived a good life, she was 85, old enough to know not only grandchildren but great grandchildren.

I just feel bad, and sad. I hope she knows that while I never saw her much in her older years that I loved her.

Sorry to hear that. 😢

Your Grandmother was the same age as my Dad's mother (my final surviving Grandparent).
She's fading pretty quickly, and i don't see her that often...

very sorry to hear, Thetis (..rest assured she does know how you feel)

hey thetis , awww I'm sooo sorry to hear that... my condonlences to you and your family

my grandmother also passed away on the July 10 .......so your thoughts are exactly like my thoughts......my grandma was around the same age as yours...from my mother side of the family....she was 87 years old....she was a cute little woman with soo much spunk and freedom loving....she was a Aqua....I miss her and as you said I really regret not seeing her and spending time with her.

but we did plant a tree for her in the back yard.....a blue berry tree....it already started to grow blueberries....which are sweet....like her.....soo just wanted to say ....i know how you feel

my condolences, sweetums

Honey, I'm so sorry to hear this, please take care...

So sorry about you losing your Gran, Sweet-T 😢

It sounds like she had a good life 🙂, with a loving family 🙂

I'm so sorry, Sweet T. 😢 *HUG*

Hey Thetis~

How wonderful Gran was able to experience life on planet Earth for the time she was here, what a Gift!....I celebrate her life and wishing her the best on her new journey!

I am aware that sometimes it is not easy when someone transistions for those who are still here, like you said - it is for many reasons. Wishing you peace, comfort and love through this time of change.

(((((((thetis)))))))

Thanks guys. I am feeling a bit better today, well from the point of view that at least she had a good life and lived to a good age, and she had her 4 children with her at the end. She died peacefully in her own home with her family around her so I suppose that's something.

Starblue that's a really nice thought, maybe I could do something similar for my gran.

The funeral is on Tuesday but they're having some open casket thing on Monday (because she's being cremated) for family only. My dad says it's entirely my choice if I want to go, but I've never been to anything like that and not sure if I could handle it.

Has anyone been to something like that?

"I celebrate her life and wishing her the best on her new journey!"

Freebird you're right and that's how I'm trying to look at it. She lived long enough to see 12 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.

"Has anyone been to something like that?"

Yes. At my Grandfather's funeral, last year. Definitely felt uncomfortable, but i felt i had to go, so took a deep breath and went. As it turned out, i wasn't the only one who felt uncomfortable.

Odds are you wouldn't be the only there who felt uncomfortable either. If you get upset, or can't stay, i think people would understand.

"Has anyone been to something like that?"

Yep. I worked for Hospice and the family members would invite me to the funerals - I have been to many of them. For some, it provides the closure that they need. For others they wish to remember their loved ones as they knew them while being alive.

What I have personally learned by going to these ceremonies is that, MY going away/transistioning party will be fun and a joyous occasion. I prefer to celebrate that my life was a gift. Not everyone makes it here to planet Earth ya know 😉

Banner reads ::Shine on Freebird!::

sorry to here about your grandma, I lost my Pops about a month ago too...

I'm so sorry to hear that thetis.
*hugs*

i'm so sorry to hear about your gran. i am sending you a hug. keep and cherish your wonderful memories of her.

peace, prayers and blessings to you and your family.

Thanks again everyone, and sorry to those of you who have also lost someone recently.

I really appreciate all your posts. Still trying to decide whether or not to go Monday though.

Thanks Evan, that's what I'm thinking, that I'd regret not going. I just don't know if I'll be able to hold it together seeing her like that. Plus I'm worried about breaking down in front of the rest of the family, especially my dad because I know how hard it will be for him.

I just remember losing it at my aunt's funeral last October, she was only 53 and so full of life, she was like a 2nd mum in a lot of ways. I was almost hysterical when I saw the coffin. And the sight of me breaking down set my cousin off - her son, I felt so bad.

I think the problem I have with it is that I don't want my dad having to focus on comforting me he should really be focusing on saying goodbye to his mum, if that makes sense.

I'm not even really that emotional a person, but I literally fall to pieces at funerals. At my auntie's my cousin gave a reading it was really personal celebrating her life and what a wonderful person she was etc. it was so touching but it just brought it all back. And they played her favourite song as they coffin was being taken out of the church. It was a lovely service but it was heartbreaking beyond belief.

😢

I'm the same whenever I hear her song too. Freebird is right though, should be about celebrating their lives and remembering them at their best.

It certainly puts things into perspective, I've found I've been way more emotional with my family and friends, letting them know how much I care about them and appreciate them.

Yeah I'm thinking I will, just have to try and be strong for everyone else.

"even when I pass by cemeteries I remember not to forget that.."

Well I have a 400 year old cemetery right outside my flat. My living and bedroom windows overlook it. Apparently some of my ancestors are buried there.

Nope it's actually very peaceful. It freaks a few of my friends out, my Cancer friend in particular who insists on closing the curtains whenever she comes round, even during the day!

Hmm I've never heard that one! Not very superstitious myself I have to say, actually I think I make a point of walking under ladders!

I will say one thing though, I've been to see psychics but I have never and will never have one in my own home.....I wouldn't want them to be talking to spirits in my house thank you very much.

Ouija board is seriously scary I remember doing it when I was at school with a couple of mates scared the hell out of me. Never again.

Notepad and scissors haha that's an interesting take on it certainly never heard of that one!

Oh wow see that would really freak me out.

I had a bad experience with a psychic once, he told me I had an evil spirit with me, a man. He told me some real freaky stuff, I barely slept for a month I was so scared.

Haha yes I do - good point! 😛

Wow that's mad. Must have been interesting though to watch! Is it true that only certain people can actually be hypnotised, like you have to be receptive to it or something? I've always fancied it myself, except for the fear of what a hypnotist might make me do lol.

"sorry for totally ruining the mood of your thread btw"

Not at all it's taken my mind off things for a bit, which I really appreciate so thanks.

And it's nice to hear from people who have been/are going through similar.

And on that note I'm going to go see if I can actually get some sleep tonight, thanks again.

"I actually only got to cry when I saw my mom and aunt, and pretty much everyone around me just breaking down when he was going to be buried, it was pretty heavy!!"

OMG, shaka the same thing happened to me...

I was fine at the wake, fine at the funeral, but once they started letting the casket down, I could not control myself...he was a WWII veteran so they had the army guys who folds up the flag on top of the casket and one who played the trumpet(which made it even worst)...

Well we all (the family) knew to expect this but not quite so soon.

My grandpa just passed away this morning, heart failure, so it was quick my dad says. So my grans funeral etc. has been cancelled so they can arrange a joint one.

In a way it seems right, and I know that sounds weird. But at least gran isn't on her own now and grandpa wouldn't be spending the last few weeks of his life with a broken heart in mourning of his beloved wife. They're together now, so there's something comforting about that at least.

Having said that I'm still in shock I think.

What a beautiful Miracle Thetis!

They both knew that they needed to be together and they are - see how powerful us "beings" are on this planet? We do have control over our destiny.

My Bestest Wishes to them both on their new journey together - what a blessing!

Smiles and hugs to you my lovely (((((((((🙂Thetis🙂)))))))))

Freebird you are right, I feel more comforted knowing that neither is alone now, or rather without the other.