Sex (Page 3)

The reason why I cannot tolerate or understand or accept YOUR idea of lowered sense of dignity- of ALL women-- from THIS conversation because, at the very least- never in the short time you will exist on this earth will you live long enough to talk to/know/ or experience enough women to pre-judge us ALL.

Common sense tells me THAT.

Whether I have sex with 1 man or 1000 men- I will never care what you think of ME- but to say that ALL women have less dignity because of a conversation you have with me is ridiculous! It is the very beginning of a mind who cannot understand people.

Hello Mr. Brahn...

This overall strays from to the topic... but to respond...

High sense of morality is not frowned upon as long as you make it your OWN morality and do not try to enforce your sense of right-ness upon others. My cousin is a pastor, however both his daughter and his son had children out of wedlock. He may have not been happy about the act- nor would he do it himself- nor would he recommend it to others-- HOWEVER, he accepted them, and didn't judge them for it. He is doing his best to help them move forward their own decisions... this is called being open minded.

The idea that you can accept opinions that are vastly different from your own, yet still live your life according to your own sense of moral standards.

Mr. Brahn- you and Haffo can think whatever you want about sexuality, female sexuality, and what constitutes promiscuous behavior--- but what separates you from Haffo- is that Haffo thinks that all women have lowered sense of dignity based upon the small community of women he has spoken too. That's where I have my bone of contention. It would be like me saying.. "Oh yah, all men are close minded and are trying to force women into archaic stereotypes..."- from the few conversations that you and I have had. Of course, I don't believe this to be true, because I know that you and haffo are individuals and do not speak for all men.

To be "open minded" does not mean you have to change your moral standards- but rather accept the fact that people will act/live/ and think differently from you-- and that may or may not make them wrong.

To be "close minded" means that you think YOUR way of life is the only perspective worth having. How does one grow from there?

One nite stands as I said before I don't really care for them but I am not against anyone who has them, I'm not saying I haven't ever done it I have and I really felt bad and wished I hadn't afterwards because I really liked the person and I felt it ruined our chances of a relationship and it did. But hey if that's what someone likes you can't knock them for it to each his own. I just like have a very deep connection with the person I'm having sex with I want the person to know what I want without always having to them, & you can't really get that with one night stands. Remember girls there is always wonderful toys for some stress relief to purchase and they don't get tired!! LOL

Haffo & Brahn...

STD is doing such a good job, I really don't have much to say except...

"So if anything people are trying to be shock doctors, to try to gain a few comments, as opposed to expressing their REAL views about issues."

Well STD & VirgoSqaured can confirm this...as shocking as some of the things that I say are...they are all about 99.9999% true. You just think people are out to get attention because YOUR LIFE IS SO BORING!

This one's for you Brahn0913!


Suck on one of those puppies, I bet you'll wake up with a different perspective!

Ha HA HAAAAAAAAAA!

To Further my point- although my cousin and I are on separate ends of the spectrum in terms of religion- we are still good friends. We can still even have a conversation about religion. He does not believe that the path of righteousness is about converting- forcing those into conforming to what he believes- but rather showing them how he lives- and let them to come to him for guideance, if they so choose.

Not to say that if someone were to NOT believe the same as his- they are any less righteous.

Another shining example of open minded-ness.

He believes that his way is as valid as anyone else's.... that I am valid, even though we disagree. In his eyes, even though I'm not Christian-- that doesn't make me an infidel or heathen... my actions are not deplorable or sins against humanity.

In all actuality...I think people are less honest with themselves than anything.

I love this debate though!

CL

Oh wait I forgot...I LOVE being the CENTER of attention.

It's not my fault though...I was the youngest!

Haffo...when are you planning on having sex? After marriage? Just Curious...

what does IMHO mean?

" Haffo...when are you planning on having sex? After marriage? Just Curious..."

When it will be meaningfull to do so.

What will make it meaningful for you...If I may ask?

A meeting of the minds?

A meeting of hearts?

Intense Spiritual Connection?

Also how can you in one sentence ask someone else "what is the big deal...it's just sex" and in another say "I want to wait until it is meaningful" Seems contradictory to me...Explain si vous plait!

Hey Brahn...GOT MILK! Ha Ha Ha Ha!

CL

Yes STD. My sense of diginity towards women has lowered. In the start I was thinking that women enter to the sexual intercourse before marriage because they see the men whom they sleep as a potentional partner. Altought, Sex for Fun is contradiction for that part. I cant live with the fact that I cant know if a women whom I marry to is a one who had or hadn't sexual intercourses for fun or potential partner unless she admit it. It's very difficult for me to accept that, that particular women will keep that in secret and will use it when the time is right. This right time maybe too late to go back. I may already have children. I cant blame her on that because she's already mother of the kids. I dont have power over that. Also I cant leave this family. Therefore, my sense of diginity severely lowers down.

On the other hand, I feel as a person of last resistance. Since years I have been avoiding women because they were approaching meaninglessly. I feel sorry for that passed time. Why? Because now I see that only few women really cares about that diginity part which hold me years away from them. This is my lose. Not theirs. Also, my additude toward women WILL change. I will not take them that serious as I did before.

Furthermore, STD, when your male partner will make you pregnant and then ask you about abortion, just for a second remember what you have talked here. Then you will understand why men will call for abortion and point the problem out as ACCIDENT. No man is stupid to place his dick in wrong place. They probably just don't care about what gonna be with you. And that is because they are aware of what you are. You dont hold your own dignity, why should they do. Why should they deside for you, while you dont give a damn about that. They will then focus on their own needs. And I afraid, I will be same.

Again Mr. Brahn--

1.
If you are accepting of what other people do- then you don't feel a need to verbalize your disdain- as matter of fact, you won't have any-- That's what acceptance means! Additionally- no one should have sit through your lectures other than your children because once you relate to others as adults you can no longer tell a person what to do- but rather speak to them in terms of agree/disagree. Verbalising disdain is an action done by a parent.


2. Morality, and Religious belief are not one in the same... although one generally comes from another! I used my cousin as an example not because I think he has a sense of high morals- rather because although he has a strong belief system- he is not above accepting the thoughts and actions of others. Rather than offering disdain- he tries to provide guideance... that's the difference between being open vs. close minded.

3. The fact that you think that spirituality is irrelevent- but now frown upon a people who have it-- is a shining example of what I consider open-minded-ness

4. I don't know what you mean by "sexual liberation", but here's what it means to me: The idea that I define the rules for how I live and behave-- not society, and NOT man. This does not mean that I run and have sex with several partners- but rather the sense of morality-- on what I think is right.. will be defined by me! I can express that any time I want.. Mr. Brahn!

5. Haffo is NOT correct about how ALL men feel towards women and sex. Neither are you.. neither is any single man on this board-- because they cannot speak for my father, my uncle, my cousins- or ANY guy I have every dated. What haffo thinks is what HAFFO THINKS. Just because you agree with him, doesn't make this an indeniable truth among all men.

6. Yes you have values, I have values. My issue with this conversation is NOT anyone's values.. but rather the idea that because my values were different- somehow that transferred to the values of ALL women. If you agree with 100% of that- then that's where I disagree with you as well. But it doesn't sound like that's what you're saying. It sounds more like you agree with me- that people CAN have different value systems-- and still understand each other.... and even though mine are different from yours.. that doesn't make the VALUE or the DIGNITY of ALL women lower based upon things I have said.

Ok haffo-

Very nice of you to assume that I will abort a baby when surprised by pregnancy. Once again showing your lack of understanding of who I am- and your ability to judge me without knowing any facts before hand. IF I were to get pregnant out of wedlock- my thoughts are that perhaps this is a gift despite the surrounding circumstances. THIS DOES NOT MEAN- that all woman feel the same as myself! And I will not show disdain for women who decide to have or not have an abortion.

How you feel about the woman you will marry is your business.

Unless you plan to be single throughout the rest of your life or entertain the idea of dating men-- then you cannot avoid women- whether they're having sex for fun, having sex for babies, having sex to find a potential mate, or not having sex because they are waiting for marriage (there are plenty of women like that as well- you won't find them as long as you continue to prejudge people).

And-- I will say, at least with Mr. Brahn- his ideas of moral behavior extends to both men and women-- yet you're still stuck on the dignity of women.

Women who have sex before marriage-- aren't doing it alone!

" Very nice of you to assume that I will abort a baby when surprised by pregnancy."

I don't assume that you will abort! I'm speaking about the way that man will take the sitiuation with you.

Also.. Haffo-- should you chose to have sex with a woman- and "accidently" impregnate her- then ask her for an abortion- that sounds like YOUR issue-- please don't assume that the men I date think that I have no dignity-- that I don't hold self esteem.. that is only YOUR mistake.

Haffo, this was a topic about ideas and beliefs- however to make a personal jab at what you perceive will happen between me and a male suitor is beyond the scope of the conversation- your understanding about life- and irrelevent in the grand scheme of things.....

.. but to point.. the men I date do not think I have a low sense of dignity... or perhaps they don't have the stones to tell me to my face. Many men who I am friends with and/or have dated- actually perceive me to be a strong individual.... you will be the first to think otherwise.. but don't worry, I won't judge all Turkish men because of it.

STD, that topic is going out of it purporse. I know your way of looking at this matter and I bored to read same thing 100 times. Have fun.

Haffo- I write the same things 100 times, to stay on point -- and to not reduce the conversation to level of personal attacks.

The "fun" part would mean that we actually come to an understanding what has been said-rather more assumptions, more judgments and more close-minded behavior. You have fun.

Ok Brahn

...what I am saying is that there are things in life I don't particualy like.

That's nice Brahn... but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

Expressing my opinion on it is not synonomous with being closed minded. While I may disagree with it, I do not make any actions regarding it.

If you look back, I wasn't stating that you were closed minded- this is something you've labeled yourself. Also, regarding someone with disdain is a step further than simply disagreeing with them. And you said, you'd show "disdain". That is something I said you should save for your children.

Such as interfering with other people's live and affair. I believe it is up to them to resolve those issues, since they are of no consequence to me. However I do believe that there are consequence to these actions, that is why I choose to disagree. I treat people as adults. My view of treating people as adults is understanding that they made this particular choice.

Stay with me Brahn- because that's not far from what I've already stated.

Mostly everything else you said doesn't yeild a point... and I don't think you were addressing what my issues where with some of Haffo's statements.

"Also how can you in one sentence ask someone else "what is the big deal...it's just sex" and in another say "I want to wait until it is meaningful" Seems contradictory to me...Explain si vous plait!"

Because some people choice meaningless sex for meaningfull one. Since that is reality and moral standart for these people, their actions toward that is simply as that "Cmon girl its just a sex. What meaning it could have". This is not really the way I would act, because this is not my reality or my standarts. I judge only particular people who is actually up for that action.

I give them advise based on their head and mentality, not on my own.

Haffo, you need to get laid NOW!!! The pressure on your nut sack is causing swelling in your brain. For a Pisces you sure are narrow minded and judgemental?. Oh and did I mention SEXIST!! I think maybe because you haven't had sex you hold it up in this shining light but there is making love and ther is sex. Don't get the two confused.

Brahn, have a cup of tea and chill out. Did you grow up in a convent or something?

Having had more than one sexual partner in your life does not make you a slut or a manwhore. No one here is suggesting that it's so great to be sexually liberated ( what a stupid term) that you go and shag everything with a heartbeat. Life takes you in and out of a lot of peoples worlds and some of those people you may fall into bed with. WTF has that got to do with dignity? As long as you've not trodden on anyone's toes and it all above board WTF has that got to do with anyone else?

STD you did a brilliant job of trying to explain but I have a feeling their not listening to what we're really saying.

Have a good weekend people, I'm going home? YAY!!

BJ:

I am always thinking about this situation and most of the time I doubt that I'm wrong. There's a reason I haven't got laid. That reason is - I am smart! I have better things to do with my time and I shouldn't let people cave in my prior feelings when I haven't found the right person. Those people that have sex just to have sex will be sorry someday. They are the same people that are spreading AIDS and other STDs throughout the world. They are also populating the world with motherless/fatherless children. Sex is a very important act which should only be shared between two people in a totally committed relationship. To any person where sex is just an attempt to elevate themselves on a social ladder is not responsible or mature enough for sex. As much as people want to deny it, sex is much more an emotional interaction than a physical one. Sex is only good when both people's hearts are into it, sure it can leave me physically fulfilled but will leave me emotionally empty and will just be an overall disappointment. I'll leave the place going "that's it?" I am not saying I have to wait until marriage, but at least waiting until I have SOME sort of emotional connection with my partner is DEFINITELY worth the wait.

The best solution for me is to just not go get laid! why do something just because everybody else has or are doing it? Not many people now a days put much emphasis on the whole "sex" thing, it's become more of a pastime. Why not wait until I find a girl who is really worth my trouble, instead of some goof who I probably won't talk to much after I do the deed?

WHY do I want to have sex? Am I so in love with someone that I'm going to marry her tomorrow? Or am I just wanting to have sex because everyone else is doing it?

I don't want to stand up on my wedding day and think of all the girls I slept with before marrying them. I don't want all these girls haunting my thoughts, and getting in the way of giving my future wife anything. How would you feel if you married someone and found out that she had slept with another man shortly before meeting you? Sex is so powerful; I'd just hate to see me give it away to someone who means nothing... and just because everybody else is doing it.

I think the reason why most people are looking for a sex isn't quite logical. I mean, why do we have to do what everyone else does? What they do, didn't mean that it's always the best thing, and what they don't, isn't always the worst. The fact that I didn't have it didn't mean I am wrong and they are right. I know it's quite hard for me to live in the world that people already have sex but I didn't. I feel like the minority.

I stick to my own values and morals and make decisions that are best for me. It somewhat goes back to the example that "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?". All I'm saying is, just because it seems that everyone in this forum has had sex, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to do so right away.

So I'm not alone that's for sure. Sometimes I have to look at the big picture to decide whether this is the right decision for me at this time. I don't have sex just for the hell of having it and telling everyone I did it. Sex should be a personal thing, not something casual I just do so I can say I did it.

Majority of people here (in Turkey) are virgins (both male and female). And I'm not ashamed of it. I am 24, and I am still a virgin and it really doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have better things to do right now than have sex with some girl I don't even like. And seriously, not everyone in my age has had sex. That's just blatantly untrue. There's nothing wrong with my "level" of experience. The best quality I can ever have is to be unapologetically comfortable with my morals and who I am. I'm proud of the fact that I am exercising self control.

I have seen too many times with some of this forum women the emotional hurt and pain t

wehey BJ, well put........... have a nice w.e.

haffo, what's your cultural background? where are you from? just curious....

Vanessa126, you "Gorgeous AQUARIAN" you!

thanx for your opinion!

"Majority of people here (in Turkey) are virgins (both male and female)" - gosh I have to disagree wholeheartedly with you there Haffo.......I was on holiday in Turkey and every guy there (I can't speak for the females!!!) (well 99% from the youngest to the oldest males) were so hot-blooded and were so frisky!!!! that it really was hard to handle them.......I found their attitude to women lewd and crude and very basic - kind of animalistic!!! - they literally would ride anything in a skirt..........

That was my experince of Turkish men..........guess I won't be welcomed back to turkey now for saying all those things............:-)

A x

LOL Alana.

People are particularly pay big money to come there for that job. Personally I hate these people. You are right. They are crude, basic and kind of animalistic. They are specially there to hook up with foreign women. But few are like that. And they mostly in these holiday places.

These people you have met are always from lower class. Middle and higher class arent like them at all.

"Majority of people here (in Turkey) are virgins (both male and female)"

Wow- married people too... how does that work out?

STD please dont ask stupid questions. Of course married people aren't virgins anymore...

yes Vanessa, I was being sarcastic.

Oh well screw my post then and forget about it.

I mean the last one, not the big one post.

not a problem...

Isn't it ironic...Don't you think?

It's like RAAAIIIIAAAAAAIIIINNNNN on your wedding day!
It's a free RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDEE when you've already paid!
It's some good ADDDVVVVIIIIIIIIICCE that you just can't take!
And who would've thought, it FIGUUUUURRRRREEEEEDDDDDD!

Yeah life has a funny way of sneakin up on yooouuuu....

Sorry, had an Alanis Morrisette moment!

LMAO- you are a total nut job!

Man you're gonna be a fun mom..

*They took away my smiley's but if they hadn't I would have the SUPER Smiling Smiley.*

Thanks for thinking so STD...that truly warms my heart!

Now since I am a nut, can I get one? PLEASE!

CL

you only want one?

You know- the baby may shoot past Pisces and land in Aries territory!!!! *MWAHAHAHAHA*

Yeah if the baby is 10 months when it is born! LOL Actually I won't know for sure until the ultrasound. Well now that I think about it again, I won't know until the baby is born!

I wouldn't mind having an Aries daughter but a son? Hell to the no!

Hardheaded F*% kers!

CL

I only met 2 other Aries men. They both worshipped their mommies.

REALLY?

Oh well then I change my mind...Wait you mean mamma's boy worship or really appreciate her worship. There is nothing I detest more than a mamma's boy!

They are still hard-headed though lol

They are hard headed- but really appreciated her. My ex always sided with his mom against his dad in family disputes. He also liked to spoil her on her birthday and Mother's day.

Oh yeah...I REALLY change my mind now!

Go ARIES BABIES!

As long as I don't have an Aquarius baby. They are sweet but WAY too independant. I need to be able to mother the child for at least a few years before they start pulling away. Aqua babies start pulling away at 6 months!

Well STD. Either you wrong or my brain is in leackage because my Aries brother always sides up with father and stomps on mother words. However I side with mother thought.

well, as I said haffo- the 2 Aries men I knew were like that. I don't know anything about your brother.

Aquiella...

Of course they need love! I just think the type of love I give would be rather smothering to an Aqua child as they are freedom loving & independent even that young!

My god-daughter is an Aqua and she is the cutest little thing, but she is SO independent! She was literally pulling away from her mother at like 6-7 months! Not that I want a super-needy child or anything...A happy medium will be fine for me!

Cancerlady

You might not like a scorpio child either then.9 months old I was walking and potty trained.There was one incedent where I had a chair on top of the high childs eating chair thing and I was on top of the refrigerater eating cookies when my mom walked in.Then a friends scorpio child decided to prop himself against the screen of a window,rip and fell out when she was only two feet away from grabbing him.Destructive little kids.Brother is an aqua and after my dad spent two hours putting his bike together,the brother grabbed his toy tools and took it apart to see how it worked then put it back together.