The camera adds ten pounds (Page 7)

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Qbone
@Qbone
21 Years10,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 13612 · Topics: 756
A prisoner escapes from prison where he has served 15 years. He stops at a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and he gets on top of her. He kisses her on the neck, then gets up,and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. I saw the way that he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy's dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.

He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too..."
Profile picture of Qbone
Qbone
@Qbone
21 Years10,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 13612 · Topics: 756
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with them are their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the side walk and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end your stick, that ticking sound is driving me nuts !

The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the fcuk up!"