Fate? (Page 2)

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Sag89
I'm not sure of an emotional future with him, just cause there were some red flags there. That's why I slept with him that night. If I thought there could of been one, NEVER would of done that. But physically he has a rock climber bod we had stuff in common there was a connection and I hadn't had sex in a LONG time so I was like I'm gonna splurge here a bit. Very much worth it.

I'd do it again too but if not it was a beautiful night. 3 times 😛

lol @ it was a beautiful night x3. What are you looking for in a man? One that's worth having something serious with?

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Hmmm, I think I'm still discovering that for myself.

A physical part of a relationship is such a small part of the relationship in my eyes. I think AG is scoping him more out emotionally, as you should do if your considering dating the person.

I think your doing fine girl.

Thank you sag!

As for your guy...yeah it was a hook up, but it COULD be more. Try hanging out with him physical aside and not talking so much about sex, and see what happens 🙂

If that's what you want I mean, if it's just sex then have at it lol

What were the red flags?

Posted by Agentgem24
What were the red flags?

Never had a serious girlfriend LOL

He asked if he could take me out this week, mehhhhhh

Posted by starlover

Posted by Sag89
He texted me today telling me he was couldn't stop thinking about it haha oh man, this is a slippery slope for me...

about *it* or you?

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the sex

Posted by starlover
oh right thanks

yepp

Posted by starlover

Posted by Sag89
He texted me today telling me he was couldn't stop thinking about it haha oh man, this is a slippery slope for me...

about *it* or you?

First of all, what difference does it make? She was satisfied with the sex... all three times... as was he! They both got what they wanted. Why is she the victim here??

In her own words:

Posted by Sag89
I met a leo the other day. It was the best sex I have had in forever. I felt like crying it was so good.

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Seems like she can't stop thinking about *it* either.

Posted by starlover
Sag, if that guy continued on with you and admitted he just wanted you for sex, would that be okay with you?

Thats the only reason I'm taking to him. He asked to take me out this week and said maybe we could see what more we have in common. I'm not interested in that at all. Like I said there is a bunch of red flags with him emotionally. I don't want any of that.

I will drop him if we are not on the same page.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by starlover

Posted by Sag89
He texted me today telling me he was couldn't stop thinking about it haha oh man, this is a slippery slope for me...

about *it* or you?

First of all, what difference does it make? She was satisfied with the sex... all three times... as was he! They both got what they wanted. Why is she the victim here??

In her own words:

Posted by Sag89
I met a leo the other day. It was the best sex I have had in forever. I felt like crying it was so good.

Seems like she can't stop thinking about *it* either.

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Yes! Beautiful night don't regret it at all 🙂

^haha

I'm sorry AG don't mean to derail ur thread~ !

Lol it's okay guys, I'm enjoying it.

He's in the bathroom now so I can post lol.

He actually apologized if he seemed too sexy the other day, he says sometimes things come out wrong when things are heated and it was a very passionate make out session. We've just been kind of avoiding that whole area since. Just cuddling, tender kisses and lots of talking

Posted by Agentgem24
Also btw, slut shaming is the biggest bunch of bull shit I've ever heard. Women are sexual beings too, a woman hasn't the right to call another woman a slut. She would be horribly offended if a man did, so why can a woman? I personally want to wait, but I don't look down on those who have sex within the first few dates. Who am I to judge? I know people that have married the girl that was supposed to be a one night stand or it just happened that way.

I believe in boundaries and keeping some rules but at the same time, some of those dating rules are rather silly and out dated

Agreed. The only time I may think negatively about it is if the female in question is looking to keep a guy around for a legit relationship. She puts out fast and then is crying he takes off shortly after or changes his attitude toward her. It shouldn't work like that, as it's a horrible and fucked up double standard, but it happens and is something to be considered. It actually kinda pisses me off because women can't just go and have sex to fulfil a need without the worry of the guy turning into a jerk after. :/ It's like wtf, you can't have sex and not turn into a troll after? What's wrong with, you know, remaining normal afterward?

Personally, I end up waiting about a month as well. If some chicks want to go the 1-2 date route, fine, that's their thing. It's just all too often, they're the same ones whining about how they can't find guys who don't want just sex, or that the guy doesn't take them seriously. Male culture is still ridiculously sexist in that sense.

Posted by AriesGirl74
Then just be cool. If he wants to be with you you'll know. Take his lead and watch his words and actions

That's all!

+1

So a full view of the day/night. It went really well!

I came over and we watched a few animes, yes we are both nerds. I was craving coffee so he had actually run to the store to get the flavored creamer without me knowing...he already knew what kind I liked. I LOVE coffee.

Then we went to Babes chicken. I honestly never crave fried stuff, but I've been wanting this for years. We went there for dinner and met my best friend there, she liked him and he wants to meet more of my friends. Then we came back and watched more anime and funny YouTube videos. Lots of cuddling and kissing and overly cute stuff, but that's about as wild as it got lol.

I read him his astrology chart etc because he was interested.

He prob wouldn't care lol honestly. He already wants to call me his gf! He says its up to me, when I'm ready. Lol

He says he really likes me but is trying not to "Ted Mosby" it

I never realized an air Venus with a fire mars would be able to handle my clingy nature of my water/water positions, if not more so!

Posted by Agentgem24

So I met this Leo, very recently. As in, a week ago!

..... we are making plans for the future ....

..... true spark or chemistry or "this is it" feeling...until now.

jfc

When in reality - you have mentioned several men in here where you think he's The One, just after meeting.

An overly excited crush. But nothing that matched my EXACT feelings for the first one I ended up falling in love with, until now. I fall hard and easy, but can fizzle out easy.

There IS something different about him though. I can't describe it as I've had many crushes and some far stronger than others, but nothing like this in 2.5 years

Posted by starlover
Well.....as the saying goes one has to kiss a lot of frogs before they find a prince

But then again, that would mean someone being happy and god forbid that hey?

😉

lol

Lol aww, thanks for that! So true. Not sure why some people are so cynical.

I'm BOTH. Libra moon etc, cancer mars? I go back and forth.

I'll be sooo happy then go, "wait..."

Today has not been a good day. I was so close to my Pisces sun-Aries rising-Aries moon friend/roommate. But now she HATES me and is being incredibly moody, childish, and rude. Making my life hell. I just want everyone to get along! Her husband mr Aqua, who is my Leo and my mutual friend...supports her but is also pretty neutral and still friendly with me. The only part that makes it bearable in that nazi OCD household.

Leo knew I wasn't feeling good, so he invited me over. I wasn't supposed to come over until weds, but who would say no to an incredibly handsome/sweet Leo who's a chef, and wants to cook you gumbo and cuddle the bad feels away?! Not I...

Posted by Sag89
I met a leo the other day. It was the best sex I have had in forever. I felt like crying it was so good.

youve been holding out!!!

Posted by size zero superhero
IMO the higher up you build this prospect in your head while it's still way too soon to assess anything = the greater the chance that things ultimately won't live up to those preconceived ideas.

Excitement is one thing & absolutely understandable, however, it's way too early in the game for speculating as to whether this might be your fate, and going over every detail of your interactions thus far with a fine-toothed comb.

That's why you're getting clowned a little bit here. That has less to do with sex or sexual habits and moreso centered around the pattern of anticipating mountains, when in reality this may be yet another molehill/anthill.

Just stay realistic, let it progress naturally & try not to burn yourself out overthinking everything during Phase One.

+1

OP, you consider yourself mature, but you're responding to some chemistry as if you're a 15 year old girl. Simmer down, yo.

Yeah you're right lol I'll take it down a notch. Mentally mature, yes. Emotionally, I prob am around 15-17 lol.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Sag89
I met a leo the other day. It was the best sex I have had in forever. I felt like crying it was so good.

youve been holding out!!!

click to expand

hahahahah!

All you have right now is sexual chemistry. See that's exactly how a person feels when they have REAL sexual chemistry with another person....I feel like I've known you forever rose colored glasses. The problem with this kind of intensity is both that you do not know the person and whether you are compatible and that kind of heat could cause you to sabotage out of insecurity. All I can say is go slow and make this man COURT you. If he really digs you, he'll wait. If you give up the cookie too soon, he may lose interest. Go slow and get to know this man. Realize this is just sexual chemistry and yes it is rare to feel. But it's also the very kind of fire that could get YOU burned. Good luck!

U may want to keep ur eyes peeled for signs of overindulgence in alcohol if you're gonna date a chef ... alcoholism is positively rampant in the restaurant industry from what I heard.

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by munchkin
U may want to keep ur eyes peeled for signs of overindulgence in alcohol if you're gonna date a chef ... alcoholism is positively rampant in the restaurant industry from what I heard.

make that cocaine abuse. alcohol abuse affects their job performance negatively & snorting coke actually helps them stay centered & consistent hours upon hours in the kitchen. a lot of chefs are alcoholic drug addicts though, even anthony bourdain admitted he spent decades as a druggie chef. LOL.

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Yea. That white stuff on his nose ... it's not flour. 😛

Yeah he's clean from drugs...and doesn't drink much.

My sag daddy was a cokie and an alcoholic, I know the signs

I again, I want to wait about a month at least maybe more. Oral maybe after a month. Feel like I'm in high school again.

Longer?? Man, I'm not sure I want to wait longer!! Lol 6 weeks tops I think for sex. That's long for me 0.0

Last night, we went a little further than making out. But just 2nd base territory, touching etc. our hormones were raging in the beginning, but he actually said "will you be okay with this 30 min from now?" I said, "...maybe?" He goes, "that's a no. Lets give our hormones a break, and just cuddle for 15 minutes. We will reopen the topic then and decide"

And by "this" I mean high school 2nd base lol

And before we finally have sex, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to call him my boyfriend

I'm just an over sharer and talkative

Well, he did tell me he is def falling for me tonight. A few times. And I've been avoiding talk like that because I thought it was way too soon and didnt want to scare HIM off lol

Posted by Agentgem24

Feel like I'm in high school again.

That's because you act like one.

Posted by Agentgem24

Last night, we went a little further than making out. But just 2nd base territory, touching etc. our hormones were raging .....

And by "this" I mean high school 2nd base

You even equate your interactions with him to high school

The picture becomes clear ... now I understand why you fall helplessly for a guy who looks at you ... because that's what high schoolers do.

"High school 2nd base" is obviously sarcasm, referencing to the innocence it feels.

I don't "fall" for every guy. I am rather picky, but very social and can seem interested quickly but it also takes a lot to KEEP my interest, it always seems like I have something going on in my head.

Albeit many crushes, I still know when I feel deeply about someone. Yes, you get to know them over time more but it's not just the feelings and the chemistry. I'm very much attracted to his principals, the way he lives his life and carries himself. Attentiveness, neatness, attention to detail, humor, punctuality, intelligence etc. plus all of the mutual interests, and the ones outside of mine I still find agreeable even if I wouldn't jump for them

Lol okay!!

Posted by munchkin
U may want to keep ur eyes peeled for signs of overindulgence in alcohol if you're gonna date a chef ... alcoholism is positively rampant in the restaurant industry from what I heard.

It is.

...So's drug use.

...So's sleeping/dating around.

...And having some sort of criminal past.

Why do you think I have so many crazy fuck experiences with people? haha.

I stay away from ppl like that and do background checks. It would ruin my career chances with the FBI and nobody is worth that

Posted by Agentgem24
I stay away from ppl like that and do background checks. It would ruin my career chances with the FBI and nobody is worth that

So is posting excessively to DXP.

Posted by Arielle83
The way I see it, you can bare all, and expose yourself and think it just means you're 'open-minded' and 'open to sexuality' or are very sexual in nature, BUT, there is a distinct difference in the image you are trying to project and what you actually are projecting. Of course you can assume it's ok to chat about sex and what you need and want, but you are only considering your way of thinking. The other person's thinking is going to be different because their perception is made up of their life experiences up until that point.

So when a young 'open-minded' woman thinks it's totally cool to reveal her sexual side so early, the man is just looking at this at face value. He does not (always) consider every other intricate part of you. A man wants sex first, and then maybe a relationship, but that's a maybe. Women want a relationship or some sort of commitment to go along with the sex. Since you have already revealed the sexual part...that's what he will try to conquer first. If you don't measure up to some sort of ideal he wants for a relationship after that, you might find yourself disappointed and hate on him for doing what he wanted. Don't let it happen, by protecting yourself first. If you reveal it all right away, what's the point in caring to get to know every other part of you? And don't get so wrapped up with thinking you have some unspoken connection, because most of the time that's just hormones. Once that fades, you might realize nothing much is actually there. Take your time to to let your feelings go that way.

+1

I used to have the same outlook, until I started to realize it was biting me in the ass and I was getting some crappy attention from it. Our society is fucked and women can't speak in such a way without being objectified by the guy. It's shitty that we can't approach sex like a guy would, whether its the act itself or speaking of it openly as they do. Instead, we're viewed as an object for them to fuck and they move along.

It's lame and stupid, but it's the reality of how a lot of guys are. It's why I was a tad disturbed with her obliviousness. "OH I'M MATURE AND I LIKE TO TALK ABOUT SEX AND WHAT I WANT EARLY ON BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE."

But then she has one failed love of her life after another on these forums.

She'll learn eventually.

I agree and disagree. 90 days seems a bit much for 2 adults that truly care for each other and are attracted to eachother, for those who know it's not JUST sex.

True, I didn't wait as long in the past. I learned. But I'm an adult, I'm not in high school. I didn't even wait 3 months for the one I was with for 4.5 years. I waited about 45-50 days? around there. 30-50 days is perfectly reasonable. Seriously.

It is very clear he is into me from the way he carries himself, and no sex does not dominate our talks. He does not try and do more. He respects me. I do admit, letting yourself go within the first few dates never really works and there is absolutely no way you can actually get to know someone that way. I would just get caught up in my hormones, then once it happened...I would get all freaked out and attached, and want commitment and that scares people away. The longer you wait and the longer the man sticks around, the more likely he is of wanting more than JUST that.

He is kinda clingy, already wants to call me his gf. (first Leo started off same way) Although I've met some pretty ass hole Leos but the ones I actually were in a relationship with were different. He seems pretty innocent and head over heels. I know it would prob scare some people, but given my extreme Cancer nature...I don't mind it one bit. Quite rare, really.

Our 30 day mark, also is his birthday.

Also, wtf with generalizing with careers? Just because someone is a chef doesn't mean they are alcoholic with a short fuse. He rarely drinks and he is very mild tempered like me.

Just because some or quite a few chefs could be that way, doesn't mean they all are.

The one with a lot of libra...well? We got along realllly well. But the chemistry wasn't there. He was extremely closed off and didn't let people in emotionally. He was terrified of aging, so he dressed up in lived in a fantasy world. Also I found out he was pretty gay too :/ he preferred mostly women, BUT had sex with a guy in the 90s and realized it wasn't for him, but still sucked 15 dicks!! We are still friends, it just didnt work out. I've been told he's George clooney of the goth world and not meant for commitment. That started in the holidays through feb.

The other Scorpio, was last summer. 3 months of a mistake. I never really liked him but because he was so into me I thought that the feelings would grow, plus switching hormones etc made me realize how much I really hated him from his voice to his natural scent. Not even close to my type, but hey you live and learn!

My goal was to wait at least a month. I'm just going back and forth of then would be perfect (because it is his bday too) or if I should wait another 2 weeks after. It's clear his affection is there and he's the type of clingy I wish all other guys were that I had strong feelings for.

He says if he was only after sex he prob would have tried for more, although he's never actively gone after a girl just for sex. Sometimes the girl wanted that of within just a few dates if ended up being only physical. Had nothing to do with not respecting.

But also, he said he cleaned the screw part of his toilet with a a tip which is saying a lot. And with his family, all of his extended family this weekend he talked about me...as his gf.