Slept with Scorpio guy/ Dilemma

I met a scorpio guy and thought he was a jerk. A hot jerk...but a jerk. So i decided he'd be my booty call. Well my mistake because the next morning after talking to him I realized he's great. And now I'm screwed. Its hard to back track now that i've slept with him. So anyone who knows scorpio men....how should I handle this...should i tell him I like him?

Why are you screwed just cuz you slept with him? I mean, unless your pussy is wack, or you become all insecure once you 'give it up', I don't see the problem?

🙂

Girls...

Gotta love 'em.

No I didnt tell him he was a jerk lol. I kept that to myself. We hit it off and talked the next morning. He told me that night he thought I was a cool person.
Good news tho. He called me last night, unfortunately I missed his call. Even better news....it was BEFORE booty call hours.

The sex must have been off the hook then. It's all those feel-good hormones and such from a fab night of fucking. That intimate connection and melding and now OMG I THINK I'M FALLING FOR HIM!

Hate to sound like a cynic, because I'm really a romantic and a firm believer in magic and stars and bubbles and hearts and flowers and love at first sight. But this was like/love at first fuck. Which might resemble like/love... like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter resembles butter :/

*sigh* You're infatuated at best. If he was a jerk before, he's still a jerk now, trust me. Only your perspective has changed because you've now slept with him and seen that intimate side. Now you've connected and all those "jerky" things seem unimportant and insignificant. NOW he's a great guy, a real sweetie, and a great lay. Woo!

Keep him as a booty call if you want... but realize that this has a HIIIIIIIIIGH chance of hurting you. And stop fancying yourself falling for him, because this will probably end badly. He didn't bed you because he loved you (or even really liked you *in that way*) You both tumbled into bed, did the horizontal mambo, it was great, awesome, fantastic. You really connected and opened up, talked and shared and .. wow, now he's not such a bad guy, this Jerk-But-A-Hottie guy. You just didn't know him before. (Note: You STILL don't know him any/much better, not really!)

Please don't set yourself up for where this is likely heading. Fucking you didn't change HIS thoughts, ideas, opinions, feelings for YOU. Not one tiny little bit. He thought you were a cool person before. He STILL thinks you're a cool person. No, he probably doesn't think less of you because you knocked boots. But he doesn't think MORE of you, either, even if you were porn-star worthy in bed. Men don't emotionally connect through sex, or through talking - not like women do. Men can boink OR talk to someone they like, love, are indifferent about, think is cool, think is an idiot, think is a great gal, think is a slut, think is just a friend, or even practically hate.

Posted by Nefer
The sex must have been off the hook then. It's all those feel-good hormones and such from a fab night of fucking. That intimate connection and melding and now OMG I THINK I'M FALLING FOR HIM!

Hate to sound like a cynic, because I'm really a romantic and a firm believer in magic and stars and bubbles and hearts and flowers and love at first sight. But this was like/love at first fuck. Which might resemble like/love... like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter resembles butter :/

*sigh* You're infatuated at best. If he was a jerk before, he's still a jerk now, trust me. Only your perspective has changed because you've now slept with him and seen that intimate side. Now you've connected and all those "jerky" things seem unimportant and insignificant. NOW he's a great guy, a real sweetie, and a great lay. Woo!

Keep him as a booty call if you want... but realize that this has a HIIIIIIIIIGH chance of hurting you. And stop fancying yourself falling for him, because this will probably end badly. He didn't bed you because he loved you (or even really liked you *in that way*) You both tumbled into bed, did the horizontal mambo, it was great, awesome, fantastic. You really connected and opened up, talked and shared and .. wow, now he's not such a bad guy, this Jerk-But-A-Hottie guy. You just didn't know him before. (Note: You STILL don't know him any/much better, not really!)

Please don't set yourself up for where this is likely heading. Fucking you didn't change HIS thoughts, ideas, opinions, feelings for YOU. Not one tiny little bit. He thought you were a cool person before. He STILL thinks you're a cool person. No, he probably doesn't think less of you because you knocked boots. But he doesn't think MORE of you, either, even if you were porn-star worthy in bed. Men don't emotionally connect through sex, or through talking - not like women do. Men can boink OR talk to someone they like, love, are indifferent about, think is cool, think is an idiot, think is a great gal, think is a slut, think is just a friend, or even practically hate.

🙂

Realness. F**king refreshing, that.

I have to agree with Nefer on this. It takes more than good sex for me to like a girl. I think any guy or girl who gets easily attached to someone the first time they have sex needs to spend some time on the psych chouch.

I detest the word but I need a mental "connection" with someone for feelings to grow. If that isnt there, forget it.

Guys, you dont want a girl to get attached with sex right? Just be a sh-t lay. Works wonders in having women not call you back.

Posted by Nefer

Hate to sound like a cynic, because I'm really a romantic and a firm believer in magic and stars and bubbles and hearts and flowers and love at first sight. But this was like/love at first fuck. Which might resemble like/love... like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter resembles butter :/

*sigh* You're infatuated at best. If he was a jerk before, he's still a jerk now, trust me. Only your perspective has changed because you've now slept with him and seen that intimate side. Now you've connected and all those "jerky" things seem unimportant and insignificant. NOW he's a great guy, a real sweetie, and a great lay. Woo!

amen!

Honestly, this guy is a Scorpio. Usually, I'm all with the troops about how he'll never date the easy girl, but you got a Scorp on your hands!

Scorps LOVE the easy girls! Honestly, I've done this very thing with 2 scorpios and both became my boyfriend.

But keep that jerk thing in mind...I broke up with both of them because they became my boyfriend, but they also became possesive of my time and of me. What seems like admiration can easily turn with them....

I'm a scorpio too...did I mention that? Everything about a scorpio man turns me on...its like finding the male version of myself. (i know i know....we are so full of ourselves) lol

Posted by Nefer
Hate to sound like a cynic...But this was like/love at first fuck. Which might resemble like/love... like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter resembles butter :/

Umm yeah, what she said. I'm cosigning all of what Nefer said, but I gotta' call some of the KEY points out!

Posted by Nefer

Please don't set yourself up for where this is likely heading.

Begging for you....PLEASE listen to these words - they CAN'T be repeated enouugh!

Posted by Nefer
If he was a jerk before, he's still a jerk now, trust me.

Trust in nothing else...perception may be whatever your reality is...but the lovely bunnies and soft feelings will fade (eventually) and IF he is a jerk, he will be an even bigger one if this doesn't play out the way you'd like.

Posted by Nefer
Men don't emotionally connect through sex, or through talking - not like women do.

click to expand

And that my friend, is the way it is.

Posted by Mr Nice

Posted by a muse a libra
Honestly, this guy is a Scorpio. Usually, I'm all with the troops about how he'll never date the easy girl, but you got a Scorp on your hands!

Scorps LOVE the easy girls! Honestly, I've done this very thing with 2 scorpios and both became my boyfriend.

But keep that jerk thing in mind...I broke up with both of them because they became my boyfriend, but they also became possesive of my time and of me. What seems like admiration can easily turn with them....

LOL, well, well, a libra who thinks shes all that, you just keep telling yourself that easy fuck.

click to expand

lol...I see how that comes off. Didn't mean it that way! I swear. Just sayin', that's my experience, twice.

Have had a few other scorp experiences, none have ever ended badly. I like Scorps. I'm not always easy 😉 ! I've grown up a lot since them....

We may need a easy fuck board also by the drama queen board.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"But keep that jerk thing in mind...I broke up with both of them because they became my boyfriend, but they also became possesive of my time and of me."


Perhaps it was because from the beginning you portrayed yourself as "easy"? Also, you probably failed the tests which is always done in the beginning (more so) and they both found reason to keep a short leash. Doesn't make them a jerk, sounds like common sense to me.

I don't know about the tests you are talking about.

Possesive of me and my time means - to me - coming over and asking to do your laundry at my house, asking to shower at my place. To me, in the beginnings of a relationship (approx. 2 - 4 weeks in) this is totally inappropriate. If a man cannot trust me to be alone in my own home for a few hours while he does his laundry, then he has major issues regardless of how soon I had sex with him or not.

I never felt I was being distrusted, and never felt I was being used.

In his words, he wanted to see me and be with me all the time.

He worked the graveyard shift and so would come over after, in the morning, instead of going home first to shower and change. He would bring his laundry and want to shower at my place out convenience. I felt my privacy was invaded...because at first, it wasn't coming over to take care of daily hygenic duties, it was just to hang out.

Then, all that started it was like, I wanted time to myself to clean my house, pop my pimples, just be alone. So yes, I didn't like the "Tests" if that's even what that was (seemed much more delusional and invasive, and inconsiderate at the time) so I ended it.

I have held off with Scorps, too. They are all like this, it is part of the reason Libra and Scorp are not a match. Libra wants to be free and Scorp wants to possess. I have waited months before sleeping with them.

BTW - I know a Scorp who married the girl he slept with on his first date. They are the happiest couple I know. Having sex too soon isn't always the end of the damn world...I say, people should do what they feel.

Posted by a muse a libra

Possesive of me and my time means - to me - coming over and asking to do your laundry at my house, asking to shower at my place. To me, in the beginnings of a relationship (approx. 2 - 4 weeks in) this is totally inappropriate. If a man cannot trust me to be alone in my own home for a few hours while he does his laundry, then he has major issues regardless of how soon I had sex with him or not.

i totally get where you're coming from. it's as if they intertwined themselves with you in one way or another? it was innocent at first. in your case, maybe he didn't have a washer/dryer and asked to do his clothes. no big deal...come on over. but it's not just the laundry is it? the clothes are washed and he's still there.

if it's not the laundry, it's something else. he needs help with this/that. and god forbid you try to teach them how to do it on his own. then they REALLY become helpless. in the end, it boils down to..."I NEED ROOM TO BREATHE!!!" and ironically, that's when some really get clingy/desperate/"off."

i'm sure not all are this way but all one can do is speak from one's personal experience and yeah, i agree...increasingly possessive.

just my experience but as to the topic, the OP should go back to what nefer said and put it on post-its all around her house.

LIB - maybe you can but not everyone can. i'm a taurus and in a former life, pulling away for me meant full court press so as an opposite, it didn't surprise me to see a scorp male do the same but in a different way. i wish it was merely maturity but i think intensity of feeling and fear of loss contribute as well,

i have a friend (ironically a libra) whose scorp husband won't let her out of his sight. now i'm sure he thinks he's being subtle but when you're on the receiving end, the obsession/possessiveness is clear and apparent. i mean, yes she does notice that he's conveniently standing over her shoulder when she's at the computer. he may call it "talking" but that aint it 😛

also telling him may stop that behavior (he'll just hack into her account) but he'll merely replace this version of "talking" with something else that seems equally harmless and it may take a moment to realize, wait...what is he REALLY doing?

so i think that's what muse meant. she didn't feel the need to kick the guy out initially after during his laundry because it was harmless enough and maybe by that point, the convos had gone well. but it's the habitual nature of it that got me. when the alternate agenda becomes clear...

LIB - it's not always that simple.

if you're SO is spending time with you, is "talking" or asking to come over and do laundry and you end up snuggling on the couch watching a movie, that doesn't amount to a restraining order. HOWEVER, the frequency of the behavior and the inability of the possessive/obsessed person to understand limits and respect boundaries can be merely annoying OR it can go off the deep end.

i think for SOME scorp men it's confusing because you can enjoy your time with them. you can enjoy their possessive/obsessive fascination with all things you but there are moments when ya need to BREATHE!!! fixed signs don't adapt well and i think a lot of us are all in, all out. half-assed doesn't work so well for many of us. so someone asking us to alter behaviors doesn't happen "just like that" and there might also be confusion. for my scorp the response was sorta like...

"why do you need to BREATHE!!! when you were perfectly fine inhaling my air?"

Posted by Let*It*Be
Married, in a relationship or dating....doesn't matter. If you tell them to STOP and they do not, leave. If they stalk or continue this behavior go to the police. What is the big deal here? If it's so bad and gets abusive why the hell is anyone sticking around with that person anyway? Pretty simple...YOU WALK. If you don't, take responsibility for sticking around the person doing this to you.

Libras don't tend to have this sort of reaction - at least I don't. Telling somebody to stop is bound to create a conflict, not that I'm advocating not talking with your partner, this is one of the major weaknesses of the Libra sign.

Libra isn't completely opposed to conflict or difficult conversations, it's just that we weigh the circumstances very carefully. I probably could have requested "Time off" so to speak, but I felt the behavior was reflective of his personality, and I didn't want it around me. It was oppressive, and that is one things a Libra really can't stand to feel.

Feeling confined by any person is just not my bag, I can't go on like that and fighting against feels futile in a lot of ways. I guess I feel there should not have to be a fight against, it should be naturally in place.