Was dating a cancer woman who recently broke up and it was great until she said was confused...

She is 27, I'm 25. We met each other at work on December, and kept contact almost everyday since then. She broke up with her 2yr boyfriend in the middle of January and we went out for the first time in late February. We really bonded well and she told me they split up because they were fighting a lot all the time since months, and that she was let down really bad when friends asked during a dinner about when they would marry and her ex acted stupid about it.

I always respected her a lot since day one and never pushed or forced her to do anything she didn't want to... We went out on a couple of dates and it was great, we really hitted off and got to talk on daily basis, she would wish me good night and good mornings every day. A few days later I invited her to my home and we had some sushi, watched movies, cuddled a lot and bam. We slept together and it was amazing. We went on a couple more dates and then one day she invited me to work out with her on her gym, we did and then as I'm about to drop her at her home she invited me to come in for some coffee and meet her mom. I felt really good about it and went home with a big smile on my face. The next day she texts me saying we need to talk, she passed by my place and told me all this stuff about not being ready yet since it was all so recent to her and that she needs to put her life in order before she can be with someone again. I just agreed with everything at the moment as I was caught by surprise considering the awesome day we had before, and told her I understand. I thought about it overnight and next day I called her asking if she could hear me this time. I went to her place and told everything I felt about her, told her I get she may be afraid of getting hurt again and stuff and that I would never do anything to hurt her, that I may be younger but my "meaningless sex relationship phase" has long passed and that i really enjoy her company and stuff. She seemed a bit surprised and flattered with everything I said and told me we should keep talking..a day after that we got back on good terms and it was all amazingly good, despite some rare colder days, she was always very kind and sweet to me, and I to her, I've helped her with things about her work, fixed her car, and always tried to please her however I could. She went dining with me and my family on Easter eve and it all appeared to be developing into a nice relationship.

Although, 2 weeks ago I invited her to my home again for a romantic dinner, i cooked, we had some wine and then sat down cuddling on the couch to watch some tv... After a couple tries on kissing her I noticed she was kinda defensive and worried so I asked what was going on... She basically said all the stuff she said the first time, that she was confused, that she wasn't being fair to me, and that it was all still very hard to her. She also said the photo album of our police academy prom night had been delivered to her that week and she had to see a bunch of pictures of her and her ex together. So I told her that she already knew everything I felt for her and would not pressure or smother her in any way, even though I cried a little bit while I was hugging her good bye. After that day we had 0 contact until last Friday when I called her up and asked how she was doing.. She obviously missed talking to me as she wouldnt let me speak and kept on talking about her work and stuff.. I had to be a little direct and told her I only called to see how she was doing and that she was right about us, cause I'd rather also not be with someone who cannot fully commit to me right now and let go of the past, despite how good we are together. She agreed we talked a bit more, I told her if she ever wants to hang out someday that would be cool with me and then we hung up.

Today, a week after the call, I saw her at work but we were both on a rush so we just kissed hello and left. I couldn't resist so I sent her a text later at night saying how we didn't even have the chance to say good bye. She replied saying she's been very busy and sent me a picture of some papers she was studying for work. I also told her I was busy and sent her a picture of the meal I cooked haha. She replied saying it wasn't fair cause she was hungry and was already about to go to sleep. And in her own words "have a good night, see you later.. kisses"

Now I don't know what to do... If I should continue initiating conversation like this every once in a while hoping it will get better some time, or just plain tell her how much I miss her and cannot stop thinking about her or if I should just go no contact for good. Today I bought her favorite dessert and almost took it to her mom to giver her with a note saying how I miss the simple things we used to do together. But then I thought I would be pressuring her after she told me she was confused...

I'm just terribly afraid I was just a rebound after all, and that she is afraid to hurt me by saying the truth... But the truth is I'm hurting more not knowing what to expect here.. maybe it would be better if she just told me she doesn't feel anything for me. But I'm almost positive that's not the case. I just wish I could be with her and help her overcome what she is going through... Any thoughts??

I'm a leo btw... Born Aug 21 6pm.

25 is the new 12

She's not over her ex. Does she still talk to him occasionally? I think maybe that's what's getting in her head.

Posted by pinkbird03
She's not over her ex. Does she still talk to him occasionally? I think maybe that's what's getting in her head.

When I asked her about it she told me they haven't talked again since the break up... But who knows? I don't think she would want to get back and I'm not sure if he has been trying to either.

All I know is this uncertainty is killing me. I can't move on knowing I could still have a chance.

Maybe I should just ask her straight ahead what's it gonna be.. or lay low.. I don't know..

Posted by Leowill

Posted by pinkbird03
She's not over her ex. Does she still talk to him occasionally? I think maybe that's what's getting in her head.

When I asked her about it she told me they haven't talked again since the break up... But who knows? I don't think she would want to get back and I'm not sure if he has been trying to either.

All I know is this uncertainty is killing me. I can't move on knowing I could still have a chance.

Maybe I should just ask her straight ahead what's it gonna be.. or lay low.. I don't know..

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Yea, I understand. You probably should be straight up with her. Honestly, you shouldn't waste your time on someone who is not giving you their all. I don't think she's that serious about you. Usually cancers are in 100% when they really want to be with you. Anything less is not a good sign.

It's weird cause it all felt very intense... She seemed to be really into it as well, we always had an awesome time together. Im afraid that by being too direct I might ruin a chance of us getting back together some day in a near future, but then again I'd rather just suck it up in case all goes south then being stuck here.