Women, letting a guy in your bed?

Would you let a guy friend hang out with you in your bed?

Is it something normal?

Not personally, no... I would have my doubts about the "platonic" nature of the "friendship" to be honest.

nope, and don't want them to get the wrong idea.

In your bed or in your bedroom hanging around fully clothed?

Definitely not in the bed unless there was more to it...in the bedroom, when I was younger but not really these days.

I've done that once or twice with female friends. Usually she would throw up a wall of pillows in between us LOL.
If it's clear nothing is going to happen and neither one of us wants it then why not? I would let a girl sleep in my bed if I told her we would just sleep. As soon as either one of you gets into a relationship it changes.

The big problem is that it usually isn't that clear.

Posted by leejt86
Would you let a guy friend hang out with you in your bed?

Is it something normal?

No because I don't have any guy friends that don't want to bed me. In fact, at this stage, I really don't have any guy friends. There's 1 friend I've known for a long time whose starting up the "I love you" butter again and I realize we're not doing the same things here, no matter how much time has passed. So I'm trying to gently phase out that relationship. It's just not healthy when one person wants a relationship and pretends to be your friend. Waiting in the wings is creepy.

I don't know what normal is these days. All I can say is I'd never do this because of my own history and concerns over sending out the wrong message. I think if you're gonna be friends with men, you gotta have impeccable boundaries or someone will get hurt.

so "platonic friends" probably shouldnt be doing this?

Posted by leejt86
so "platonic friends" probably shouldnt be doing this?

I wouldn't choose it but I think some young people who are figuring out what works and what doesn't work for them make this mistake. The girl is cool with guys. Has lots of guy friends. She may or may not realize they are jonesing for her. She thinks she can be super laid back and cool only to wake up in the morning and her estewhile "gay" male friend is checking her out and sporting a woody. It's all part of living and learning. Plus, there are some truly weird cats out there, who manage to be sleeping buddies but not FWB. So I wouldn't categorically say "shouldn't" but rather "better not to."

I've slept in the same bed with male friends. No biggie if you're just friends. Of course, men will be men, so clear lines must be drawn and understood!

even after she knew i had feelings for her she let me lay there with her...we were both clothed and nothing happened,

i just find it extremely odd

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by leejt86
even after she knew i had feelings for her she let me lay there with her...we were both clothed and nothing happened,

i just find it extremely odd

Well maybe she sees you as just a friend and she's ok with that. Did you say something to her?

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Im sure ive been friend zoned,
just sucks when i want more

Posted by FishyPisces
She sounds like a dick tease.

Seriously though. It sounds like she's insecure and self absorbed enough to invite you to her bed when she knows you want more, just to stroke her own ego.

Meh

Theres something there between us, i think shes too afraid of getting hurt so shell push me away if i show feelings

nah,u gonna sleep at the couch

this girl is so confusing, she wont let any guy get close to her but she lets me in her bed.......

id say the bed is a pretty intimate space

Definitely depends on context. Say if you're just watching a movie from her laptop and it was cold so you snuggled up in bed. Being way too drunk and plonking yourselves down on a comfy mattress. There are ways for it not to mean anything more.

An open invitation after discussing certain things with her well yeah that is just plain evil, she might have her motives but really it's up to you to clear it all up, if not with her then with yourself.

yeah i really dont know what to do at this point

Posted by leejt86
yeah i really dont know what to do at this point

I know youre a virgin so I'll tell you what to do. Next time youre in bed with her put your erection on her ass or back. Either she'll move away or she wont, and 9/10x they NEVER do, I dont care what you think the parameters of the relationship supposedly are, a hard dick on the butt is like mind control to women. So yeah, if she doesnt immediately protest, you have to push the line farther, take your dick out and do it again flesh to flesh. At this point its either fight or flight, if she still doesnt protest start sliding the panties off/over and rub the puss and prepare it for entry.

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by leejt86
yeah i really dont know what to do at this point

Well she may take your virginity and then eventually she will treat you like you don't exist--do you want that?

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no no no i dont want that......

If you want to have sex with a woman, listen to me not the women. Women have sex with men, I have sex with women. You said she knows youre interested, and she still lets you sleep in bed with her. Shes waiting for you to make a move, what else can she do to make it more obvious besides straddling you. Women want you to take the initiative at some point, and even in the worst case scenario, she knows shes sending you signals so she cant get mad if you act on them

my end goal is not sex...believe it or not

im interested in relationship with this girl, like a meaningful one

Posted by tiziani
My question to you is are you actually listening to her or are you only interested in pursuing a "relationship" on your own terms?

of course i listen

Posted by tiziani

Posted by leejt86
im interested in relationship with this girl, like a meaningful one

So then see if you can have sex with her man. Jesus christ, it's not rocket science.

You've tried the whole "I'm a sensitive guy, happy to wait angle". That's clearly not what she wants in boyfriend or romantic partner. Gotta move with the times and really listen to her. Not just stay in your own comfort zone perceived on what you feel comfortable being in her life.

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hahahaha

Maybe my gay friend.

But unless I'm having sex with the dude, they aren't coming near my bed. It's just potential can of worms there.

Posted by CluelessCancer
So this is how Virgos analyze things, damn it's exhausting and extremely annoying, how do you live with yourselves?

jesus christ.

sometimes its really really tough...

I have yet to find a successful way to turn off my brain

Posted by FishyPisces
She sounds like a dick tease.

Seriously though. It sounds like she's insecure and self absorbed enough to invite you to her bed when she knows you want more, just to stroke her own ego.

Meh

This. What a dumb bitch. If you know a guy likes you, you do NOTHING to encourage anything for the sake of his feelings. What a dick tease. I don't care what she's afraid of. Sending out mixed signals, knowing that the other is interested, is fucked up.

Posted by JenLove

Posted by HungVirgo
If you want to have sex with a woman, listen to me not the women. Women have sex with men, I have sex with women. You said she knows youre interested, and she still lets you sleep in bed with her. Shes waiting for you to make a move, what else can she do to make it more obvious besides straddling you. Women want you to take the initiative at some point, and even in the worst case scenario, she knows shes sending you signals so she cant get mad if you act on them

Lol sadly this is the type of advice most guys pass on to each other, it's also one of the quickest ways to get punched in the dick. You're just assuming that she wants him to smash not every girl let's a guy sleep in her bed because she wants to have sex with him, as you can obviously see from the replies in this thread.

There is a chance that you could also be right but, if you aren't and he goes for it she could possibly react undesirably to him making a move and not want him to sleep with her again and then he'll never get it. He should just let things happen naturally and keep his erections to himself for now lol

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Grow up. A grown adult woman has a grown adult man in her bed that she KNOWS likes her. Get the entire fuck out of here. Only a fool or a virgin pay any attention to your point of view on this. He would be fully within his rights to do what I said and any grown up (not tall child) would clearly realize that.

Poke her with your dick or forever have her thinking youre probably gay. Those are your only two options, this limbo friendzone shit is for middleschoolers. She will respect your initiative and think its long overdue. Nonaction with a warm vagina next to you makes women think youre gay bro, or that you dont find them attractive.

"get the entire fuck out of here"

hahahaha new favorite

lolol hungvirgo makes me laugh

Posted by JenLove

Posted by HungVirgo

Grow up. A grown adult woman has a grown adult man in her bed that she KNOWS likes her. Get the entire fuck out of here. Only a fool or a virgin pay any attention to your point of view on this. He would be fully within his rights to do what I said and any grown up (not tall child) would clearly realize that.

Lol I've been in that situation and slept in my friend's bed with no problem, I'm a grown ass woman and he's a grown ass man and he happened to like me and you better believe he didn't try shit so obviously it's possible. It's called respect and learning how to control your emotions and your dick if you can't do that then don't agree to sleep in the bed with a girl you like.

The OP obviously said he's not just interested in having sex with this girl and he wants something meaningful with her so why try to force himself on her when she obviously hasn't made it clear whether she likes him or not and possibly ruin a good friendship? You just ignored that and told him to try to smash lol Umm maybe he should probably start with a kiss first lol Trust me you get much further without that thirty shit.

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shut up bro. you leading him down a path of destruction. Dont listen to her

Posted by HungVirgo

Posted by JenLove

Posted by HungVirgo
If you want to have sex with a woman, listen to me not the women. Women have sex with men, I have sex with women. You said she knows youre interested, and she still lets you sleep in bed with her. Shes waiting for you to make a move, what else can she do to make it more obvious besides straddling you. Women want you to take the initiative at some point, and even in the worst case scenario, she knows shes sending you signals so she cant get mad if you act on them

Lol sadly this is the type of advice most guys pass on to each other, it's also one of the quickest ways to get punched in the dick. You're just assuming that she wants him to smash not every girl let's a guy sleep in her bed because she wants to have sex with him, as you can obviously see from the replies in this thread.

There is a chance that you could also be right but, if you aren't and he goes for it she could possibly react undesirably to him making a move and not want him to sleep with her again and then he'll never get it. He should just let things happen naturally and keep his erections to himself for now lol

Grow up. A grown adult woman has a grown adult man in her bed that she KNOWS likes her. Get the entire fuck out of here. Only a fool or a virgin pay any attention to your point of view on this. He would be fully within his rights to do what I said and any grown up (not tall child) would clearly realize that.

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lol you're 24. Your points are invalid when it comes to sex and woman.

*women

She's an August 8th Leo

i did tell her I was ok, because I want her in my life, I dont want to push her away.

There's something there, the chemistry is there, she gets so nervous around me, that i dont get

That's not my thing. I don't like people in places that I consider my sanctuary. We have to be intimately involved for that to seem normal to me.

I'll give an example.

We went to the store to get some snacks when we chilled in her room. It took her forever to pick some out. On the way back she told me I was distracting her, and I didn't do anything unusual

Posted by leejt86
She's an August 8th Leo

i did tell her I was ok, because I want her in my life, I dont want to push her away.

There's something there, the chemistry is there, she gets so nervous around me, that i dont get

Well THAT explains a lot. These chicks are crazy as fuck when it comes to dealing with guys and anything related. I have seen it all too often.

You're just going to get jerked around and the entire thing, including friendship, will become a headache. I think you're just leading yourself on. Are you sure it's chemistry and not something you want to see due to infatuation? She could be nervous, or she just doesn't know how to act around you, knowing you like her more than a friend.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by leejt86
She's an August 8th Leo

i did tell her I was ok, because I want her in my life, I dont want to push her away.

There's something there, the chemistry is there, she gets so nervous around me, that i dont get

Well THAT explains a lot. These chicks are crazy as fuck when it comes to dealing with guys and anything related. I have seen it all too often.

You're just going to get jerked around and the entire thing, including friendship, will become a headache. I think you're just leading yourself on. Are you sure it's chemistry and not something you want to see due to infatuation? She could be nervous, or she just doesn't know how to act around you, knowing you like her more than a friend.

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Here's the thing.

The nervousness has been there since we first met. She also flat out told me she doesnt feel weird about it (her knowing) so there's no reason i should feel weird.

my question is, why would she still get nervous around me if she claims nothings changed?

Posted by leejt86
I'll give an example.

We went to the store to get some snacks when we chilled in her room. It took her forever to pick some out. On the way back she told me I was distracting her, and I didn't do anything unusual

I want to punch you in the face right now bro

Posted by HungVirgo

Posted by leejt86
I'll give an example.

We went to the store to get some snacks when we chilled in her room. It took her forever to pick some out. On the way back she told me I was distracting her, and I didn't do anything unusual

I want to punch you in the face right now bro

click to expand

why?

Posted by leejt86

Posted by HungVirgo

Posted by leejt86
I'll give an example.

We went to the store to get some snacks when we chilled in her room. It took her forever to pick some out. On the way back she told me I was distracting her, and I didn't do anything unusual

I want to punch you in the face right now bro

why?

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You're so blind, you need a wake up call. Shes coming on to you, and strong

Posted by HungVirgo

You're so blind, you need a wake up call. Shes coming on to you, and strong

if she's coming onto me, why would she ignore my feelings like it was nothing?

Posted by leejt86

Posted by HungVirgo

You're so blind, you need a wake up call. Shes coming on to you, and strong

if she's coming onto me, why would she ignore my feelings like it was nothing?

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because shes a (young)woman. thus illogical and probably selfish without even knowing it. and shes a model too?

Posted by HungVirgo

Posted by leejt86

Posted by HungVirgo

You're so blind, you need a wake up call. Shes coming on to you, and strong

if she's coming onto me, why would she ignore my feelings like it was nothing?

because shes a (young)woman. thus illogical and probably selfish without even knowing it. and shes a model too?

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yup she's a model its the same Leo woman though

Posted by leejt86

Here's the thing.

The nervousness has been there since we first met. She also flat out told me she doesnt feel weird about it (her knowing) so there's no reason i should feel weird.

my question is, why would she still get nervous around me if she claims nothings changed?

It's called turrets.

And seriously, I think you're just reading too much into little things. It happens when you like someone and want them to like you back so desperately.

hahah this thread

im kinda accepting that she's just a friend.

she's too guarded to let me get close and probably wont let her guard down. maybe something will happen in the future, who knows.

Posted by Sagtastic1

Posted by Mixtape
Jump offa cliff if you won't dive for a model.

Maybe he is intimidated by her beauty and is afraid to mess things up.

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dont get me wrong, she is beautiful. She has every guy telling her that.

thats not what i was attracted to (as cliche as that sounds)

Posted by FishyPisces

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by leejt86
She's an August 8th Leo

i did tell her I was ok, because I want her in my life, I dont want to push her away.

There's something there, the chemistry is there, she gets so nervous around me, that i dont get

Well THAT explains a lot. These chicks are crazy as fuck when it comes to dealing with guys and anything related. I have seen it all too often.

You're just going to get jerked around and the entire thing, including friendship, will become a headache. I think you're just leading yourself on. Are you sure it's chemistry and not something you want to see due to infatuation? She could be nervous, or she just doesn't know how to act around you, knowing you like her more than a friend.

LOL she's a Leo! Should've seen that one coming.

Leo women don't want a kind sensitive man.. I don't care what they'll tell you. You either need to step up and PUT HER IN HER PLACE or just leave. They love male attention and they like to tease. Just because she gives you the time of day doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be with you. I've witnessed several times Virgo men becoming these girls' doormats. I think you're making it more than it truly is. Don't believe me? Ask her whether she wants a relationship with you.

But I have a feeling you won't. I feel deep down you're so hung up on this girl you'd do anything just to keep in touch with her. Even ignore the truth.

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This is what i think is hysterical and has happened to me many many times. I have been called kind, sensitive and shy by a lot of people. Once I get comfortable with someone, I become a smart ass and say way too much. People who really know me consider me as a smart ass.

I guess she doesnt know me well enough yet

Posted by leejt86
hahah this thread

im kinda accepting that she's just a friend.

she's too guarded to let me get close and probably wont let her guard down. maybe something will happen in the future, who knows.

You dont have to wait for something to happen, something is already happening...youre in her bed...how many men would want to be in your position?
and you should never decide what a woman is thinking and use it to preemptively friendzone yourself, thats just fear. Use action to put the pressure on HER to decide/inform you what you two are, ie make a move.

Stop over thinking, shes not some holy unapproachable angel, shes a woman who takes shits and gets fucked by men.
Do you want to be one of them or not?
at a certain point between adults talking is ineffective, this is one of those times, you have to act or its not going to happen. Next time youre in bed with her just go the route I gave you, you will get farther than you've ever been yet. If you cant do what i suggested previously, then at least rub her ass, start with her hip then make your way down to her cheeks and start rubbing and squeezing. dont do it like a pussy either, act like its ok to find her attractive, the worst that can happen is she moves your hand or makes you sleep on the couch. If your too scared to do that then im not going to waste any more time here