Posted by exxtasyxIk, Ik.... I was going thru a rough patch where I just wanted sex with no emotions. But of course because I am not that type of woman, my feelings came creeping in. Tapping me on my shoulder like "hey, u thought we were missing? Here we go!" Lol.
You did ruin your chances.
Why would any guy work to get into your cookie jar when you already handed him the cookie? lol.
Men like to chase by nature. All mysteriousness is gone at that point. He equates you with sex.
Only thing to do now is to build a really strong bond with him, get to know him, make him get to know you then completely pull back on the sex and tell him you can't do it anymore because you developed feelings for him. If he's into you, he'll want to pursue you again, like it should have been in the begin.
Posted by AriesLoveIdk what sex means to u but it obviously means a lot to me. I can't separate my feelings from sex. Thought I could but I failed miserably at it.Posted by LadyTateIt's just sex....get a Grip!
So I can get my feelings in check. Why keep having sex falling deeper and deeper in love with this man knowing there's a greater chance of nothing becoming of him and I? Idk if he ever had or has feelings for me. What I do know is I'm not going to out myself thru anymore hell. Initially, i was only looking for sex. After him putting the D down like he did, that changed my mind. Lol. I'm joking... After spending more time with him and really getting to know him, I started to fall in love with the security and peace he gives me.click to expand
Posted by starloverExplain pls?!Posted by exxtasyx+1
You did ruin your chances.
Why would any guy work to get into your cookie jar when you already handed him the cookie? lol.
Men like to chase by nature. All mysteriousness is gone at that point. He equates you with sex.
Only thing to do now is to build a really strong bond with him, get to know him, make him get to know you then completely pull back on the sex and tell him you can't do it anymore because you developed feelings for him. If he's into you, he'll want to pursue you again, like it should have been in the begin.
Mystery is sorely underatedclick to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI was joking when I said it was b/c of the D. I feel in love with him after we began spending time together. Talking more about the future, our plans, kids and all of that.Posted by LadyTateI equate sex with love. But you fell in love with the "D" like you said. So I'm like it has to be more to a guy than just the sex. I don't fall in love with a guy based on sex. But I'm not having sex until we are both in love and he has to prove that to me in a BIG way.Posted by AriesLoveIdk what sex means to u but it obviously means a lot to me. I can't separate my feelings from sex. Thought I could but I failed miserably at it.Posted by LadyTateIt's just sex....get a Grip!
So I can get my feelings in check. Why keep having sex falling deeper and deeper in love with this man knowing there's a greater chance of nothing becoming of him and I? Idk if he ever had or has feelings for me. What I do know is I'm not going to out myself thru anymore hell. Initially, i was only looking for sex. After him putting the D down like he did, that changed my mind. Lol. I'm joking... After spending more time with him and really getting to know him, I started to fall in love with the security and peace he gives me.
My head will always stay clear.click to expand
Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Posted by AriesLoveProblem is, I'm in love with this man but I have no clue how he feels about me! We can talk about the future, what we want out of the future, all of that but for him to speak on his feelings. That's like trying to raid Fort Knox!Posted by LadyTateSo what's the problem then. Keep it going!Posted by AriesLoveI was joking when I said it was b/c of the D. I feel in love with him after we began spending time together. Talking more about the future, our plans, kids and all of that.Posted by LadyTateI equate sex with love. But you fell in love with the "D" like you said. So I'm like it has to be more to a guy than just the sex. I don't fall in love with a guy based on sex. But I'm not having sex until we are both in love and he has to prove that to me in a BIG way.Posted by AriesLoveIdk what sex means to u but it obviously means a lot to me. I can't separate my feelings from sex. Thought I could but I failed miserably at it.Posted by LadyTateIt's just sex....get a Grip!
So I can get my feelings in check. Why keep having sex falling deeper and deeper in love with this man knowing there's a greater chance of nothing becoming of him and I? Idk if he ever had or has feelings for me. What I do know is I'm not going to out myself thru anymore hell. Initially, i was only looking for sex. After him putting the D down like he did, that changed my mind. Lol. I'm joking... After spending more time with him and really getting to know him, I started to fall in love with the security and peace he gives me.
My head will always stay clear.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveIf it was that easy I would. Lol. He is a Capricorn.Posted by LadyTateSo slap yourself straight. What's his sign?Posted by AriesLoveProblem is, I'm in love with this man but I have no clue how he feels about me! We can talk about the future, what we want out of the future, all of that but for him to speak on his feelings. That's like trying to raid Fort Knox!Posted by LadyTateSo what's the problem then. Keep it going!Posted by AriesLoveI was joking when I said it was b/c of the D. I feel in love with him after we began spending time together. Talking more about the future, our plans, kids and all of that.Posted by LadyTateI equate sex with love. But you fell in love with the "D" like you said. So I'm like it has to be more to a guy than just the sex. I don't fall in love with a guy based on sex. But I'm not having sex until we are both in love and he has to prove that to me in a BIG way.Posted by AriesLoveIdk what sex means to u but it obviously means a lot to me. I can't separate my feelings from sex. Thought I could but I failed miserably at it.Posted by LadyTateIt's just sex....get a Grip!
So I can get my feelings in check. Why keep having sex falling deeper and deeper in love with this man knowing there's a greater chance of nothing becoming of him and I? Idk if he ever had or has feelings for me. What I do know is I'm not going to out myself thru anymore hell. Initially, i was only looking for sex. After him putting the D down like he did, that changed my mind. Lol. I'm joking... After spending more time with him and really getting to know him, I started to fall in love with the security and peace he gives me.
My head will always stay clear.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI'm a scorpioPosted by LadyTateI should've known...like talking to a wall. What's your sign?Posted by AriesLoveIf it was that easy I would. Lol. He is a Capricorn.Posted by LadyTateSo slap yourself straight. What's his sign?Posted by AriesLoveProblem is, I'm in love with this man but I have no clue how he feels about me! We can talk about the future, what we want out of the future, all of that but for him to speak on his feelings. That's like trying to raid Fort Knox!Posted by LadyTateSo what's the problem then. Keep it going!Posted by AriesLoveI was joking when I said it was b/c of the D. I feel in love with him after we began spending time together. Talking more about the future, our plans, kids and all of that.Posted by LadyTateI equate sex with love. But you fell in love with the "D" like you said. So I'm like it has to be more to a guy than just the sex. I don't fall in love with a guy based on sex. But I'm not having sex until we are both in love and he has to prove that to me in a BIG way.Posted by AriesLoveIdk what sex means to u but it obviously means a lot to me. I can't separate my feelings from sex. Thought I could but I failed miserably at it.Posted by LadyTateIt's just sex....get a Grip!
So I can get my feelings in check. Why keep having sex falling deeper and deeper in love with this man knowing there's a greater chance of nothing becoming of him and I? Idk if he ever had or has feelings for me. What I do know is I'm not going to out myself thru anymore hell. Initially, i was only looking for sex. After him putting the D down like he did, that changed my mind. Lol. I'm joking... After spending more time with him and really getting to know him, I started to fall in love with the security and peace he gives me.
My head will always stay clear.click to expand
Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.click to expand
Posted by LadyTateI'm just responding to tPosted by AriesLoveI'm a scorpioPosted by LadyTateI should've known...like talking to a wall. What's your sign?Posted by AriesLoveIf it was that easy I would. Lol. He is a Capricorn.Posted by LadyTateSo slap yourself straight. What's his sign?Posted by AriesLoveProblem is, I'm in love with this man but I have no clue how he feels about me! We can talk about the future, what we want out of the future, all of that but for him to speak on his feelings. That's like trying to raid Fort Knox!Posted by LadyTateSo what's the problem then. Keep it going!Posted by AriesLoveI was joking when I said it was b/c of the D. I feel in love with him after we began spending time together. Talking more about the future, our plans, kids and all of that.Posted by LadyTateI equate sex with love. But you fell in love with the "D" like you said. So I'm like it has to be more to a guy than just the sex. I don't fall in love with a guy based on sex. But I'm not having sex until we are both in love and he has to prove that to me in a BIG way.Posted by AriesLoveIdk what sex means to u but it obviously means a lot to me. I can't separate my feelings from sex. Thought I could but I failed miserably at it.Posted by LadyTateIt's just sex....get a Grip!
So I can get my feelings in check. Why keep having sex falling deeper and deeper in love with this man knowing there's a greater chance of nothing becoming of him and I? Idk if he ever had or has feelings for me. What I do know is I'm not going to out myself thru anymore hell. Initially, i was only looking for sex. After him putting the D down like he did, that changed my mind. Lol. I'm joking... After spending more time with him and really getting to know him, I started to fall in love with the security and peace he gives me.
My head will always stay clear.click to expand
Posted by moondustYou know, I once dated an Aquarius...
My 2 exes started as friends, who became fwbs, and later we committed to each other. In regards to other the other posts in this thread - I'd feel VERY offended if I found out a guy is in a relationship with me just to sleep with me. If that's all he wants we don't need to be serious.
Do you know each other well? Are you sure you have feelings for him? Do you think he feels the same for you? The title of this thread is so dramatic 😛
Posted by mzmeeI was. I told him how I felt and why I had to pull back. And yes... I think about him daily!Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Get you a b.o.b. too in the meantime. I can imagine the withdrawals from him will be crazy.click to expand
Posted by moondustThe title is dramatic. Lol. I know enough about him to know I am completely in love with him. And for me to feel this way is hard for me to believe but I am. I don't fall easily and when I commit, I commit 110% . No I don't know how he feels about me at all and that's my reason for wanting to pull back.
My 2 exes started as friends, who became fwbs, and later we committed to each other. In regards to other the other posts in this thread - I'd feel VERY offended if I found out a guy is in a relationship with me just to sleep with me. If that's all he wants we don't need to be serious.
Do you know each other well? Are you sure you have feelings for him? Do you think he feels the same for you? The title of this thread is so dramatic 😛
Posted by AriesLoveI'm trying to and I don't get overly emotional with him. I did explain why I was pulling back and why sex was not a good idea for us. But as far as still being friends. I can't do that because everything he does makes me fall harder and in his presence, I'm weak!
@LadyTate....that's a real good match.
I say since you've already been having sex, just lessen it up. Like don't have it every time you see him, but you don't have to necessarily give reasons. Just do other things when you are together but continue to have a good time. Allow him to see another side of you.
In my experience, Capricorns are not the mushy, emotional, lovey dovey types. So don't start expressing your love. You guys can be really good friends. I've seen it. But they like comfort, stability and having a good time. Just work on that side of the relationship.
Posted by LadyTateAwwww sweets.Posted by mzmeeI was. I told him how I felt and why I had to pull back. And yes... I think about him daily!Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Get you a b.o.b. too in the meantime. I can imagine the withdrawals from him will be crazy.click to expand
Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
Posted by mzmeeHis response was "are u sure? If that's what u want we can just be friends." Like wtf is that? What the hell does that mean. We also talked about another "friendship" he had with a woman as FWB that lasted a few years and how she became jealous and crazy. That story there kind of confirmed for me that he wasn't interested in a relationship but then he ended that same conversation with I don't want that to happen with u.Posted by LadyTateAwwww sweets.Posted by mzmeeI was. I told him how I felt and why I had to pull back. And yes... I think about him daily!Posted by LadyTateI mean, if it's just a fwb thing, you might have to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. Be grown about it tho, at least give him the heads up.Posted by mzmeeCouple that with a genuine connection! Oh my! There is something about this man that has me wide open. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the talks about the future. Lawd, lawd, lawd!
Good sex will mess with your feelings, man.
Get you a b.o.b. too in the meantime. I can imagine the withdrawals from him will be crazy.
What did he say in response? Like did he respond? My oldest brother is a Cap, he's as hard a nails. I know a little about cap men. Jeezclick to expand
Posted by AriesLoveWith the way he works. He has no time. When he's off, he has his kids and then his family. When we get together, it's usually because he has to cut time off with his kids or turn his family down when they call to be with him. He is the type that everyone just loves to be around.Posted by LadyTateGo by his actions. Caps don't express their feelings like that. If he wants to be around you all the time...hanging out, drinking, eating, even sex....he likes you.Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
My sisters ex is a Cap, he wanted to marry her. She is a Gemini. They've broken up...well she broke up with him. They have 2 kids but he always wants to be around her. And not just for the kids, they still go out to eat together, he stays the night, they still drink together. It's like they are still together. He won't go away.click to expand
Posted by ImTheRamI have told him. He said NOTHING about how he feels. Not that he feels the same way, not that he's unsure, and not that he doesn't feel the same way. The only thing that changed was that he started calling me more often. But that too has slowed down now. Idk if it's because of his work or if he's trying to let me down easy or if it's because he's talking to someone else.Posted by LadyTateWell how hard it is to say...Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
"I want you to know that i decided to stop because i am confused...at first it all started as a fwb situation...but i think i might have deeper feellings for you"
You can even stroke is ego and say.."i never thought you wold make me feel this way..."
His possible answers:
a) i feel the same...lets give a try.
b) i am not sure about my feellings yet..let us try to be freinds first and see where this goes?
c) i am sorry..i don't feel the same..for me this was just sex..if its best for you we can stop seeing each other.
So...on 2 you win..on 1 you loose...good odds right?
Man are just like that...and in the end thats better than your current situation right?click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveThe answer is D! U are correct! LolPosted by ImTheRamOr...Posted by LadyTateWell how hard it is to say...Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
"I want you to know that i decided to stop because i am confused...at first it all started as a fwb situation...but i think i might have deeper feellings for you"
You can even stroke is ego and say.."i never thought you wold make me feel this way..."
His possible answers:
a) i feel the same...lets give a try.
b) i am not sure about my feellings yet..let us try to be freinds first and see where this goes?
c) i am sorry..i don't feel the same..for me this was just sex..if its best for you we can stop seeing each other.
So...on 2 you win..on 1 you loose...good odds right?
Man are just like that...and in the end thats better than your current situation right?
d) not say much of anythingclick to expand
Posted by ImTheRamI've always been direct with him about everything! He is still like a mute unless we're talking about something other then emotiinsPosted by AriesLovehmm i know about capys also..Posted by ImTheRamOr...Posted by LadyTateWell how hard it is to say...Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
"I want you to know that i decided to stop because i am confused...at first it all started as a fwb situation...but i think i might have deeper feellings for you"
You can even stroke is ego and say.."i never thought you wold make me feel this way..."
His possible answers:
a) i feel the same...lets give a try.
b) i am not sure about my feellings yet..let us try to be freinds first and see where this goes?
c) i am sorry..i don't feel the same..for me this was just sex..if its best for you we can stop seeing each other.
So...on 2 you win..on 1 you loose...good odds right?
Man are just like that...and in the end thats better than your current situation right?
d) not say much of anything
If you are direct with them..they will be direct with you...
They don't like to play mind games. Since well..they can't even figure out how to express their feellings.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveIdk how comfortable I am with meeting his kids. I wouldn't want to get attached to them and nothing comes of me and him. It will hurt me to have to separate from the kids. Also, I don't want to introduce him to mine until I know for sure he's in it for the long haulPosted by LadyTateOffer to do things with him and his kids if he doesn't mind or you don't mind. Since a lot of his time goes into them.Posted by AriesLoveWith the way he works. He has no time. When he's off, he has his kids and then his family. When we get together, it's usually because he has to cut time off with his kids or turn his family down when they call to be with him. He is the type that everyone just loves to be around.Posted by LadyTateGo by his actions. Caps don't express their feelings like that. If he wants to be around you all the time...hanging out, drinking, eating, even sex....he likes you.Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
My sisters ex is a Cap, he wanted to marry her. She is a Gemini. They've broken up...well she broke up with him. They have 2 kids but he always wants to be around her. And not just for the kids, they still go out to eat together, he stays the night, they still drink together. It's like they are still together. He won't go away.
It's going to be a slow process though. I know of no Caps who rush into things. None!click to expand
Posted by moondustWe weren't "friends." We met online and talked for a few weeks getting to know each other. After about a month of talking we finally had sexPosted by AriesLoveEverything you said is right if they don't know each other well - like if they met and started having casual sex. The chance of him developing feelings for her would be very little (not impossible though).Posted by moondustBut I think a secure woman would pick up on those clues. You don't have to state why you are holding out. It ain't none of their business.
My 2 exes started as friends, who became fwbs, and later we committed to each other. In regards to other the other posts in this thread - I'd feel VERY offended if I found out a guy is in a relationship with me just to sleep with me. If that's all he wants we don't need to be serious.
Do you know each other well? Are you sure you have feelings for him? Do you think he feels the same for you? The title of this thread is so dramatic 😛
And EVERY guy who is interested in you (relationship or not) wants to sleep with you. That's how men think. Nothing to be offended by. But a woman can want more out of her time with him, doing other things besides sex.
It's very different if they were actually friends before they got intimate - which is what happened to me. First you get to know each other, then sex comes along.click to expand
Posted by ImTheRamOk... But he's stopped calling as much. Now he reaches out every 2-3 days now. He says it's because he's busy but idk.
Well the experience i had with female caps were all black on white...
They never said what they felt clearly...but i knew what they were trying to express...
You can see it on their actions...
Maybe since they are man...it's even harder for them to understand their feellings...
But if you said he started calling more...that was a good sign...i guess?
Posted by moondustIt's been about 3 months. Yes when I first broke it off he was calling and texting like crazy. Then he slowed down.Posted by LadyTateHow long has it been since you finished the fwb thing? Has he contacted you since then? You could use this "break" to find out how he feels about you.Posted by moondustThe title is dramatic. Lol. I know enough about him to know I am completely in love with him. And for me to feel this way is hard for me to believe but I am. I don't fall easily and when I commit, I commit 110% . No I don't know how he feels about me at all and that's my reason for wanting to pull back.
My 2 exes started as friends, who became fwbs, and later we committed to each other. In regards to other the other posts in this thread - I'd feel VERY offended if I found out a guy is in a relationship with me just to sleep with me. If that's all he wants we don't need to be serious.
Do you know each other well? Are you sure you have feelings for him? Do you think he feels the same for you? The title of this thread is so dramatic 😛click to expand
Posted by ForeverlovemePosted by LadyTateCaps typically like relationships & are oriented in that direction so there's hope.Posted by AriesLoveIf it was that easy I would. Lol. He is a Capricorn.Posted by LadyTateSo slap yourself straight. What's his sign?Posted by AriesLoveProblem is, I'm in love with this man but I have no clue how he feels about me! We can talk about the future, what we want out of the future, all of that but for him to speak on his feelings. That's like trying to raid Fort Knox!Posted by LadyTateSo what's the problem then. Keep it going!Posted by AriesLoveI was joking when I said it was b/c of the D. I feel in love with him after we began spending time together. Talking more about the future, our plans, kids and all of that.Posted by LadyTateI equate sex with love. But you fell in love with the "D" like you said. So I'm like it has to be more to a guy than just the sex. I don't fall in love with a guy based on sex. But I'm not having sex until we are both in love and he has to prove that to me in a BIG way.Posted by AriesLoveIdk what sex means to u but it obviously means a lot to me. I can't separate my feelings from sex. Thought I could but I failed miserably at it.Posted by LadyTateIt's just sex....get a Grip!
So I can get my feelings in check. Why keep having sex falling deeper and deeper in love with this man knowing there's a greater chance of nothing becoming of him and I? Idk if he ever had or has feelings for me. What I do know is I'm not going to out myself thru anymore hell. Initially, i was only looking for sex. After him putting the D down like he did, that changed my mind. Lol. I'm joking... After spending more time with him and really getting to know him, I started to fall in love with the security and peace he gives me.
My head will always stay clear.click to expand
You'd be surprised how many fwb wanted relationships so just let it play out without panicking. Do what you're comfortable doing. Th
Posted by AriesLoveIdk. My kids are older and since my last relationship, they've not seen me with another man.Posted by LadyTateY'all need to plan a kiddie date. Take all your kids somewhere. It's just a friendly thing. It will bring you and him closer and allow you all to spend time together as well. It will also take the load off the sex thing for a minute.Posted by AriesLoveIdk how comfortable I am with meeting his kids. I wouldn't want to get attached to them and nothing comes of me and him. It will hurt me to have to separate from the kids. Also, I don't want to introduce him to mine until I know for sure he's in it for the long haulPosted by LadyTateOffer to do things with him and his kids if he doesn't mind or you don't mind. Since a lot of his time goes into them.Posted by AriesLoveWith the way he works. He has no time. When he's off, he has his kids and then his family. When we get together, it's usually because he has to cut time off with his kids or turn his family down when they call to be with him. He is the type that everyone just loves to be around.Posted by LadyTateGo by his actions. Caps don't express their feelings like that. If he wants to be around you all the time...hanging out, drinking, eating, even sex....he likes you.Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
My sisters ex is a Cap, he wanted to marry her. She is a Gemini. They've broken up...well she broke up with him. They have 2 kids but he always wants to be around her. And not just for the kids, they still go out to eat together, he stays the night, they still drink together. It's like they are still together. He won't go away.
It's going to be a slow process though. I know of no Caps who rush into things. None!
It won't mean much to the kids, they'll look at it as a good time nothing more.click to expand
Posted by cheekyfaerieThere was no commitment to each other.
"We weren't "friends." We met online and talked for a few weeks getting to know each other. After about a month of talking we finally had sex."
Sounds like you guys were dating until you freaked out and sabotaged it.
Posted by ForeverlovemeIdk. My kids are older and since my last relationship, they've not seen me with another man.
Your post cut off from too many quotes
Posted by mzmeeI wish he says something! Yes, no... Maybe so. Lol
That's a no to meeting the kids.
Hail to the no.
I really don't know what to say.
I've onlyhad one fwb situation and one day out the blue he told me i was his. I was like huh? Uh ok.
He said no you dont understand, you're mine. All this fucking and spending time, you mine, Im yours, its official. Lol.
Nuff said. I loved his ass tho so it was ok.
Posted by AriesLovePosted by AriesLovePosted by ForeverlovemePosted by LadyTateMy kids are far more important to me then sex. They didn't participate in any of this for me to allow their feelings to get hurt. And who's trying to act like a saint? Self preservation set in!Posted by AriesLoveIt's just a friendly thing though. Like a birthday party or soccer practice. Kids have friends at school. I know my kids parents, I've hung out with a few of them with my kids. People try to get deep with it. It's so you guys can also spend time.Posted by LadyTateI agree with this. Wait on interacting with each others' kidsPosted by AriesLove/> Idk how comfortable I am with meeting his kids. I wouldn't want to get attached to them and nothing comes of me and him. It will hurt me to have to separate from the kids. Also, I don't want to introduce him to mine until I know for sure he's in it for the long haulPosted by LadyTateGo by his actions. Caps don't express their feelings like that. If he wants to be around you all the time...hanging out, drinking, eating, even sex....he likes you.Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
My sisters ex is a Cap, he wanted to marry her. She is a Gemini. They've broken up...well she broke up with him. They have 2 kids but he always wants to be around her. And not just for the kids, they still go out to eat together, he stays the night, they still drink together. It's like they are still together. He won't go away.
I'd introduce a man to my kids before I introduce him to my p& $ $ i.
If you go over his house or vice versa. Too late to act like saints now.click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveMy oldest is 16. She has questions. A lot of them.
Well me and my ex did things with our kids at about 3 months of knowing and he asked me to marry him 2 months later.
I don't look at it as a big deal. Neither did my daughter. They had fun. Nobody asked questions.
Posted by ForeverlovemeI agree. Maybe once things are official and we know what direction were headed, I wouldn't be so up tight about it.
@AriesLove your message cut off
Nothing wrong with your opinion, I've seen both.
I'm just giving her my opinion. I don't like when people have different men/women in & out of their kids' life so it's my opinion people should wait until they have agreed to marry.
Posted by starloverPosted by exxtasyx+1
You did ruin your chances.
Why would any guy work to get into your cookie jar when you already handed him the cookie? lol.
Men like to chase by nature. All mysteriousness is gone at that point. He equates you with sex.
Only thing to do now is to build a really strong bond with him, get to know him, make him get to know you then completely pull back on the sex and tell him you can't do it anymore because you developed feelings for him. If he's into you, he'll want to pursue you again, like it should have been in the begin.
Mystery is sorely underatedclick to expand
Posted by ImTheRamKmsl! Yes that's what it feels like.Posted by ForeverlovemeThis ^^Posted by LadyTateHere's the thing. He calls = he's interested. Action! Focus on action will save you a lot of time and confusion.Posted by ImTheRamI have told him. He said NOTHING about how he feels. Not that he feels the same way, not that he's unsure, and not that he doesn't feel the same way. The only thing that changed was that he started calling me more often. But that too has slowed down now. Idk if it's because of his work or if he's trying to let me down easy or if it's because he's talking to someone else.Posted by LadyTateWell how hard it is to say...Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
"I want you to know that i decided to stop because i am confused...at first it all started as a fwb situation...but i think i might have deeper feellings for you"
You can even stroke is ego and say.."i never thought you wold make me feel this way..."
His possible answers:
a) i feel the same...lets give a try.
b) i am not sure about my feellings yet..let us try to be freinds first and see where this goes?
c) i am sorry..i don't feel the same..for me this was just sex..if its best for you we can stop seeing each other.
So...on 2 you win..on 1 you loose...good odds right?
Man are just like that...and in the end thats better than your current situation right?
If it was just sex he would've said ok when you pulled back and jusr disappeared. He wouldn't still be trying to talk to you
Allways action...never ever feellings.. if you ask them for feellings they will answer "i have to check my bank account" lool ^^click to expand
Posted by AriesLoveI don't agree with that
I'm trying to find ways for you to spend more time with him since his life is devoted to his children. That's how it's going to be if you guys are in a relationship.
And no man is going to get into a relationship with you without seeing if you can get along with his kids. Men are way more serious about that then woman.
I don't know what you want from him.
Posted by AriesLoveEventually we will mix the kids in it but not until we are sure of what we want to doPosted by ForeverlovemeThat isn't going to happen. No one is going to marry another person without first the interaction with their kids.
@AriesLove your message cut off
Nothing wrong with your opinion, I've seen both.
I'm just giving her my opinion. I don't like when people have different men/women in & out of their kids' life so it's my opinion people should wait until they have agreed to marry.
But I understand it's too early. You just have to wait until he makes time for you.click to expand
Posted by mzmeeI like to be up front and I know I hate sudden change with noexplaination.
Stay busy. I never did the push and pull thing ofof breaking it off because my feelings got involved. If I felt it, I just fell back a little. He'd call and ask what's up and I'd just tell him I've been busy. I was scared to express those type of emotions out of fear of complicating things. The sex was great, the time we spent together was fantastic. We saw each other when it was convenient, no pressure for a relationship, I didnt wanna sabotage it. It worked for us.
Like he never knew what my feelings were until he declared us official. He was an Aqua tho.
I imagine all Cap men like my brother. I'm of no help here. He's mean. Lol.
Posted by AriesLoveI've seen his kids, we discuss whAts going on with them but to meet. For me it's not the right timePosted by LadyTateYou met him online right. Some men post their kids pic online, let you know upfront the deal.Posted by AriesLoveI don't agree with that
I'm trying to find ways for you to spend more time with him since his life is devoted to his children. That's how it's going to be if you guys are in a relationship.
And no man is going to get into a relationship with you without seeing if you can get along with his kids. Men are way more serious about that then woman.
I don't know what you want from him.click to expand
Posted by ScorpioluverI think we have a bond. We talk about everything
My ex started as a fwb and he caught feelings first. What I can say honestly, if you two know each other and are friends ( good friends) then it may work. If you guys concentrated more on related to each other along with the sex, then he may catch up with you. I'm a cap and I was able to fall for my dude in that type of relationship. Oops I just read you weren't friends. Is it too late to form a bond?
Posted by ElleDuMondeI've been honest about everythingPosted by ImTheRamDo this.Posted by LadyTateWell how hard it is to say...Posted by ImTheRamMy sanity. Lol. If he sees something then he needs to tell me! It's hard for me to be out of control of my feelings. It drives me mad that I can't figure out what he has over me that has me this way.
I think she should just say it why she stopped...
If there is something there..it should be there by now...and he is also a Cap..so he must know what he is doing..
oh well..what do you have to loose anyway?..
"I want you to know that i decided to stop because i am confused...at first it all started as a fwb situation...but i think i might have deeper feellings for you"
You can even stroke is ego and say.."i never thought you wold make me feel this way..."
His possible answers:
a) i feel the same...lets give a try.
b) i am not sure about my feellings yet..let us try to be freinds first and see where this goes?
c) i am sorry..i don't feel the same..for me this was just sex..if its best for you we can stop seeing each other.
So...on 2 you win..on 1 you loose...good odds right?
Man are just like that...and in the end thats better than your current situation right?
Anything short of being honest and he will just know...and your integrity will be compromised. Once that happens, you are screwed (as a fwb....lol).
He probably already knows anyways...they usually suss people out fairly quickly. They compartmentalize people...similar to what we (scorpios) do...you won't be able to back up and explain if you are caught lying about feels.click to expand
Posted by ForeverlovemeI've laid it all out and still he has not budged on letting me know how he feelsPosted by AriesLoveIt's not the time that's her issue, which since you bring it up is another indicator.Posted by ForeverlovemeThat isn't going to happen. No one is going to marry another person without first the interaction with their kids.
@AriesLove your message cut off
Nothing wrong with your opinion, I've seen both.
I'm just giving her my opinion. I don't like when people have different men/women in & out of their kids' life so it's my opinion people should wait until they have agreed to marry.
But I understand it's too early. You just have to wait until he makes time for you.
Him making time for you only happens if we care about the person seriously.
My best advice to you is ask him directly
A) what he wants at this point in his life
B) if he sees any long term relationship with you
Or just be upfront and tell him what you want laying all your cards on the table & let him go from there.
(I want a serious committed relationship at this point in my life & whatever else you want to throw in there)click to expand
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